Isolation!

[xNicolex]

I have lately been feeling quite alone in my crossdressing. I never thought about this much before. I expect it was because I was so caught up in the pink fog expressing myself after so many suppressed years. But now after being out in public, family and friends accepting me and finding my comfort zone and all within a year it seems as though I have come full circle and want to extend my hobby and socialise with others who share the interest. Is it really any different than joining a football team or golf club? But now that I found my comfort zone I'm left feeling somewhat isolated. Does that sound strange? how could you feel isolated if you feel comfortable in your own skin now? Isolation was where I spent my teenage years hiding it :( Ok I know I have the forum and you girls are great :) I also have my GF who is amazing about it all too :love: but i'm sure even she tires of hearing about me rant on about my hair or my makeup. What I mean is talking to someone who is also like minded. I don't know any other crossdressers, I cant really talk to the guys about it over a beer because they have about as much interest in talking about shoes and dresses as I have in watching paint dry. I feel I would benefit from talking to a like minded person because it would help me understand more about me. I know I'm not the only one, but because most of us live in secret its hard to find people to talk to, where are you all hiding lol. I know that there are groups and clubs but I live 200kms from the nearest one :eek: Oh this country of mine they put all the resources into the cities and the rural areas are forgotten :( Anyway just needed to vent...

[Kate Simmons]

Isolation is not necessarily a bad thing. The real skill in any situation is to turn it around and make it work for you. :battingeyelashes::)

[Ressie]

I'm not out to friends, family or coworkers, but I do have real world CD friends now. I met most of them through this website. There's a chance that you will make contact with others in the closest city and visit them sometime. Good luck.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

In a country the size of Ireland, it's quite an achievement to be 200kms from anywhere. Are you on Inish Mor?

I sympathise, having spent 10 years in the wilds of Ireland, but one thing's for sure - you're not the only crossdresser in your area. Try to get to know the local Protestants- they may look like an uptight lot but I assure you they're all deviant in one way or another, it's the only way to cope with the relentless rain.

I think we need some sort of secret code, perhaps a secret handshake... Or you could just get all dolled up and hang out near a pub... With your look I'm sure you'd make friends very quickly :)

[Teresa]

Nicolex,
Dressing can be like it at times, have you tried finding others near enough to you to at least give a phone call. We all know the rough statistics so there will be some one close to you feeling very much as you do.

I was contacted by a member of the forum who lives about 30 miles from me , I now attend the same social group once a month, it isn't enough for me but when I feel isolated I give her a call , we sometimes chat for an hour , and it's not all about dressing .

As you say talking to non CDing friends has it's limit , I have a great friend who know but its' not all he wants to talk about which is fair comment .

[Alice Torn]

You say you have a great girlfriend. That makes you very very fortunate!! I have no GF, and no real friends in my area, only go out alone, don't like bars. but this forum is the only support group i have for this thing i do.

[Jenniferathome]

... I cant really talk to the guys about it over a beer because they have about as much interest in talking about shoes and dresses as I have in watching paint dry...

Nicole, this is an interesting notion but in my experience, the conversation doesn't go on about cross dressing or clothes or makeup, etc. In the same way, if you went out with your football buddies, would you talk about football or are you more likely to talk about girlfriends, kids, work, etc.,?


I feel I would benefit from talking to a like minded person because it would help me understand more about me...

This may be true. For me, it demonstrated how normal I was. Of course, I met other "normal" people who happen to cross dress.

[Mykaa]

All I know is it takes a bit of leg work to find us. I know different areas can make a big difference. I wish you luck, I know you sure have a nice look down. Hang in there, Hugs.

[Rhonda Jean]

In my opinion, it's a big mistake to become singularly focused. Not talking down to anybody. I've been singularly focused, and struggle with it still. I know it's your favourite thing and it's hard to pull yourself away. You look phenomenal. I can see how you'd easily get carried away. I suggest you find enjoyment (preferably that includes your wife) apart from it. It's not retreating. It's just part of a healthy life. It'll just make you that much more awesome!

[eire emma]

Hi Nicole. I don't know where you are,but there's a group that meets once a month in Cork. It's called Corktrans and you can find it on Facebook. I've been a few times and it's interesting to hear about other peoples journey. Also its nice to see that I'm actually not alone. I know what you mean about isolation as well. I'm living way out in the country and it is hard,especially lately to find some Emma time. Pm me if you'd like to get in touch.☺

[AnnaMarie]

Hi Nicole,
I can understand your thoughts on this but I think you are in a lucky position where you can talk to your girlfriend about things. Some of us are in a complete DADT situation which makes it even harder. However, the best thing I did for my dressing was to make contact with others. Firstly by message on here to see if we had any common ground, mainly people localish (as in 100 miles or so) as I figured these would be the people who would share the same social experiences as me. Since then things have moved on and three of us have met up several times just for informal chats and a few nights out and have become very good friends and have plans to keep meeting up as and when our own (very different) lives allow. Our little group seems to be expanding too and hopefully there will be a few more of us meeting up soon. Use the search on the forum to try and find people in your area.

[Lori Kurtz]

There are some questions that no one can fully answer but you yourself. If I were in your situation, I might also hunger for some face-to-face contact with other "girls" like me. But I'd be wary of it, because sexual activity was always so big a part of my crossdressing. That's not necessarily a huge problem if one's dressing is a solitary thing, but when other people get involved, it gets complicated. So for me, if a forum like this had been available way back when, I would have enjoyed the camaraderie that's available here online, but I would have been afraid to go beyond that, even if the plan was only to go out to dinner or go shopping with other CDs--I'd be afraid there would be too much of a temptation to get sexually involved. So it all depends on what your limits will be in seeking in-person meetups, and how effectively you can use your own self-discipline to enforce those limits.

[Stephanie47]

You're fortunate to have a girlfriend with whom you can express your feminine side. I've stated several times on this site whether it is necessary for me to seek out the company of other men who enjoy wearing women's clothing. Decades ago when cross dressing was really viewed with 100% negativity my wife told me it was alright with her to join a support group. I made some inquiries and found none. I really cannot image myself sitting around and talking or sharing a beer with someone all dolled up en femme, yet having nothing in common. I enjoy military modeling of aircraft and armor. Is it necessary for me to get together with another person who enjoys my hobby attired in wig, dress and heels? No.

I think it is a personal issue. I think I would enjoy going to a support group if there was one locally for old broads like me, but, not having one to go to does not drive me to distraction from doing things I like to do en drab. I would enjoy being able to express myself on occasion with my wife. I would love to be able to just get a pat on my butt from my wife as I prepared dinner in heels and a dress.

If you were in the States I'd suggest attending one of the annual convention where some of the ladies on this site go. Sometimes the anticipation exceeds the actual event.

[Alice Torn]

Stephanie, You make a good point, that just putting on womens clothes, does not make for lots in common, kindred spirits. And Lori Kurtz, I agree. It can get sexual all too easy.

[BrendaPDX]

Have you considered Skype? Might be fun to try:) Me I am too scared still.