Gay crossdresser and bisexual crossdresser

[tiffanynjcd24]

Hi everyone. I have a question

Is there a such thing as a gay cd and bisexual cd? What does a gay cd and bisexual cd mean? Who is a gay cd and who is a bisexual cd? What are the experiences like being a gay cd and a bisexual cd?

[Cristy2]

Very interesting question. I never really gave the subject much thought. From personal experience, I consider myself bi because even though I have been with mainly women, I have had a strong attraction to a few men and even went so far as to have a fling with a couple of men. I will say that when I am dressed or thinking about dressing the attraction to men is a lot stronger.

[Sara Jessica]

Why wouldn't there be "such a thing"???

Gender identity and sexual preference are mutually exclusive.

[Melissa Rose]

Being gay or bisexual is related to sexual orientation. Being a cross dresser is related to gender expression. They are independent; however, I can see where some confusion may occur. The following is my opinion on how this unfolds.

If you identify as male, have no serious plans to transition or are not transitioning, live the majority your public life as a male, and are sexually attracted to only males then you are gay; if you are sexually attracted to males and females then you are bisexual. Fantasies or passing desires while cross dressed do not count. Sexual orientation is not connected to the way you are dressed and does not flip based on the way you are dressed. If you are genuinely attracted to females while presenting as male and genuinely attracted to males while presenting as female then you are bisexual regardless if the type of attraction is gender presentation specific. Again, this is genuine attraction you would follow through with and not a fantasy only while dressed.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I think that when I dress as a female, I'm attracted to guys, cds and transgender. I haven't date a female recently and I lost my virginity to a guy

[Tracii G]

Melissa pretty much said it right there.
Some here seem to think that when they dress they are attracted to guys but I wonder if its just more of a fantasy they have.
I'm sure some act on it and are bi to begin with.
For me I'm attracted to guys 24/7 so I'm a gay CD/TG person.

[tiffanynjcd24]

Traci I agree with you and Melissa. However being that I want to date guys/cds just because its something that I want in a long time. See I had bad experiences with women as far as them being manipulative and dramatic (I live in nj where I came across girls like that). Anyway to me I want to make it a reality like I kiss guys and I had sex with guys and cds more than women. I never actually had sex with a woman

[Cristy2]

Some here seem to think that when they dress they are attracted to guys but I wonder if its just more of a fantasy they have.

Not trying to start an arguement, just adding a thought. A lot of GG's are attracted to men and traditionally that is generally accepted as the natural course of nature. A lot of CD's like myself believe that we are a woman trapped in a man's body, so when we dress we are embracing and, for at least a short period, allowing that woman trapped inside to come out, so while walking in that persona wouldn't it only be natural to be more attracted to men?

[Ressie]

A lot of CD's like myself believe that we are a woman trapped in a man's body, so when we dress we are embracing and, for at least a short period, allowing that woman trapped inside to come out, so while walking in that persona wouldn't it only be natural to be more attracted to men?\]

Cristy2, what you are saying "trapped in a man's body" would indicate you are a transexual, not a crossdresser. Crossdressers dress in clothing of the opposite sex, but don't have GD (gender dysphoria) unless they don't realize that they are TS. I don't know of any crossdressers that feel they're trapped in a man's body.

Although gender identity and sexual preference are two separate things, crossdressing and homosexual behavior (or just inclinations) seem to go hand in hand for some CDs. Being with a man may be a fantasy when dressed, but more than likely that fantasy will eventually continue when not dressed en femme. Isn't this related to what Freud called latent homsexuality?

Hey, we're all a little different even though we have things in common. Answer: of course there are CDs that are gay or bisexual. It's apparent when reading some of the threads here.

[Dianna_ericka]

My think here is: Once cleared the issue about gender and sexual orientation, some CD's are following the image of what Women do, and this could lead to start to behave like one, then is becoming from look like one (Cross-dress) to perform like a woman as the ultimate act of look like one.
This line is very well defined for some people and very thin for other, and if it is puere fantasy, the line is almost invisible.
It does not matter if you are under one deffinition today and other tomorrow, what is important is that you undesrtand yourself and try to be happy with it.
Kisses

[Tracii G]

Christy personally I feel like a woman most all the time and feel I am in the wrong body.
Maybe the difference between you and I is I know there is nothing I can do about it so I'm OK with being the way I am.
I don't live in some sort of fetish fantasy world like some in the TG /CD spectrum do.
The ratio of bi or gay people in the TG community is probably the same as it is in the vanilla part of society.

[Dana44]

Tiffany, I am bisexual, that means that I have done both male and female. Many more females than males though but that makes me BI sexual. Gay means that if you go into a relationship with a man. Then that is gay and if you are a cd then you are a gay cd. For example I like both guys and girls and would have sex with them. Now if I started to do only men. then that would be gay. I almost went that way but I am with a female now. There is nothing wrong with being gay and it looks like that is the way you want to go. But as a Bi CD, for example I would be open to you.

[LilSissyStevie]

Gender identity and sexual preference are mutually exclusive.

I hope you didn't mean to say this as it says that one can't have a gender identity AND a sexual orientation at the same time. One excludes the other. That's obviously not true. In fact ones sexual orientation is absolutely dependent on gender identity. How can I be a gay man (sexual orientation) unless I am a man (gender identity)?

The other fallacy that is often bandied about here is that there is "no relationship" between gender identity and sexual orientation. Sexual orientations and gender identities are not randomly distributed. In fact, ~95% of people are heterosexual so the relationship is highly correlated. We say that smoking causes lung cancer but nowhere near 95% of smokers get lung cancer. The best you can say is that correlation does not equal causation.

[Lorileah]

I think the answer to the OP's question is "yes". The rest seems like it is trying to get TMI from people here. Yes, there are gay, bi, straight CDs...just like there are gay, bi, straight men and women. And Stevie, let's not get into semantics, you know what was meant

[Tracii G]

I don't see why some people want to argue and split hairs just for the sake of it.
Lorileah I'm with you .

[tiffanynjcd24]

Right now I am bi myself although I did males and cds more than female

[Sara Jessica]

My bad Stevie. I meant to convey that gender identity and sexual preference have nothing to do with one another. Yes, I drank the fallacy Kool-Aid. While I believe that sexual preference can evolve/change, I don't buy that one puts on a dress, becomes gay/bi, and takes it off only to become entirely straight again.

Then again, the OP question has more to do with an activity, crossdressing, rather than gender identity so my original point not only reflected an incorrect use of words, it was entirely off-target.

The answer should have been "Yes, Virginia, there IS such thing as a gay/bi CD'er, just as there are gay/bi model railroaders, football fans, craft brew aficionados, etc."

[I Am Paula]

I lived a lot of my life (wrongly) as a gay man. Since transition, I'm a straight woman. I really miss the priviledge that comes from being considered gay- it was so cool.

[Mayo]

Being TG/TS/CD does not determine your sexual orientation. So one can be a gay/bi/straight TG/TS/CD just as one can be gay/bi/straight and entirely cis in one's gender identity and/or expression. My personal feeling is that, on average, being not entirely cis might predispose someone to be more flexible about the gender of their partners but I have no solid stats on that so it's just a hunch.

[docrobbysherry]

Tiffany, not being either of those I'll not comment.

But, I certainly see a lot of dressers here that describe themselves as lesbians. Which confuses the heck out of me!:eek:

[LilSissyStevie]

The OP asked more than one question so it's not just about whether there is "such a thing" as a gay or bi Cd. Of course there is "such a thing." But,"What does a gay cd and bisexual cd mean?" "Who is" a gay/bi cd? opens up the discussion to include things like gender identity because gender identity is integral to sexual orientation. They are not separate, disconnected things. A sexual orientation is not just about what you like. It's also about what you are when you like it.

Here at CD.com and other forums I've been on we have had informal sexual orientation polls over the years. The number of gay identified CDs is usually more or less in line with national averages (1.6% according to the CDC) but the number of bisexual identified CDs (30-40%) is WAY, WAY higher than one would expect if crossdressing had "nothing to do" with sexual orientation (0.7%.) Yes I know that these informal polls are not particularly representative or accurate but the discrepancy is so huge that I don't think it can be ignored or dismissed just because it doesn't jibe with some dogma. Many CDs claim to be "bi when dressed" or "heterosexual in both modes." What can it possibly mean?

Personally I don't think that most CDs who claim to be bi really are in the usual sense. The number of actual bisexual CDs is probably a lot closer to the national average. More likely, most experience something that has been called pseudo-bisexuality. I don't mean to use the pseudo prefix to mean "fake" but to mean "appearing like but not quite." Pseudo-bisexuality in this context means they are not actually attracted to men but are attracted to the idea of having sex with men because androphilia is associated with femininity.* I know that has been true for me and I'm sure it's true for others (You know who you are!) It's as "real" as any other sexual orientation. But it's more of an attraction to a concept than to a actual person. None of this applies to those who are truly androphilic.

*Well, only 98% of the time, for the other 2% we have "male lesbians."

[Kristy 56]

I've always considered myself 100% hetero, but the older I get the more bi curious I become when dressed, and fantasizing about being with another CD. I guess that makes me a hot mess !

[Lilly 40C]

When I was young, I was 100% hetero. But, in my 40s I had a Bi experience which was wonderful. Now decades later I am 100% Bi and enjoy sex with both men and women equally. Naturally when I'm dressed, it is only men for me. Wish I had gone with a man in my 20s because I feel like I missed out on 20 years of enjoyment. So in answer to the question, I am a Bi CD not a gay CD.:)

[TrishaTX]

We forgot Pansexual , in my life I have been with men, women and all those in between. If you are attractive and passionate, I am curious...

[PattyT]

This has come up before. I don't think being a CD has any relationship at all with one's sexual orientation. Isn't anyone who dresses up in female attire a CD? Doesn't crossdressing just mean putting on female attire? I don't particulary identify with the gay group and have trouble understanding the bisexual group. Still, I would welcome any of these people as CD friends and be thrilled to associate with them. Their sexual orientation is their won business and has nothing to do with their CD aspect. We're all in the same boat, so to speak.

[Mollyanne]

Oh boy!!!!! All of us have our own personal reasoning and preferences. The question posed is really not an easy one to answer as it envelops all personal traits. If you feel that you are gay and cd, then you are. If You feel you are bi cd then you are. If you feel that you fall within a certain criteria then you fulfill those areas. I personally feel that my female persona is trapped in a mans body and that is why I dress in order to let her out and when that happens a male partner or a M2F partner, or a female will satisfy my sexual needs at the time.

Molly

[Alice_2014_B]

Whether en femme or not, I'm still straight.
I've never had any sexual attractions towards guys, nor any temptations likewise.
I'm comfortable, as a heterosexual, saying if a guy is overall good looking without any sexual attraction.
I can see a guy completely en femme and be like, looking amazing.
:)

[Gwyneth]

Just to add a question to this tread: has anybody CDed to make the gay/bi experience easier? Or better?

[CONSUELO]

Tiffany,
Yes there are gay and bi- cross dressers. What it means is that some cross dressers like to have sexual relations with other men, while others are comfortable either way. If you take a look at cross dresser dating sites it is occupied by male cross dressers seeking male cross dressers. There are cross dressers who can have relationships with men and/or with women. That has applied to me. The experiences are specific to the individual and I don't think one can make generalizations.

This question or something like it is a hardy perennial on this site. Humankind is difficult to put into neat separate pigeon holes yet we are always attempting to do that. Take the common example of a male who has been married for several years and has children yet late in life "comes out" as a gay male. This happens quite frequently and usually garners a lot of salacious press yet how would the person be "classified"? Earlier in his marriage he would be counted as heterosexual yet now he is gay. Was he bi- all along, did he change over time from hetero- to gay, or was he just faking being heterosexual and finally gave up? We are blends of all sorts of traits and over time some traits seem to weaken and others strengthen, that is what makes it all so interesting.

Reflecting on your questions and on other posts you have made I wonder if the puzzle you are trying to solve is yourself?

[ellbee]

I've been "physically intimate" in a couple different ways with a gay man -- multiple times with him. I always took on the traditionally female role while I was all dolled-up. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it... a lot. :o


He was pushing for it while I was in guy-mode -- and I wasn't having any of that. En femme, or nothing! Fortunately for me, that didn't stop his desire, LOL.


No urge to do that as my usual self, so I consider myself hetero as a guy, and bi as a chick.


Oddly enough, he's also a drag queen who takes on the female role with his long-time partner. I had once asked him if he ever "did anything" while *he* was all dolled-up -- never!



Strange world out there... :laughing:

[Devi SM]

Just answer with my own experience...I'm now 56,
I've been fully cding for around 10 years, just from may 2016 openly and in a daily basis since I confess my bisexuality to my wife.
How I used to define myself was bisexual.
I could have sex with men in a male mode but I prefer in femme mode.
But this change after saying the truth to my wife. That huge homosexual desire diminished a lot. I'm not saying that now I dont want it but i prefer to have sex with another Cd instead a straight male, if I would do it, since I promised wife don't lay back with a man again. Of course I keep loving have sex with my wife, in the two modes, dressed is a kind lesbian sex and in male mode is equally exciting.
Before I would enjoy and get turned on just watching explicit men pics and gay videos, now I don't.
I remember I didnt understand some crossdressers here that say they are not attracted to men, but now I can understand them.
So all I said is related with sex but now I enjoy dressing and there's no sexual component on that.
So gay, bisexual, heterosexual crossdressers, everybody is different...

[Gwyneth]

The reason I ask is that I have a femme side. I've never dressed, but I look in the mirror most days and wonder if I could pull it off. I'm sure many here would say go for it. But in my "position", its too risky. THere is a side of me that could walk away from this "position" and dress. See if I could pull it off to the point of getting flirted with, maybe picked up. But for now it resides in my fantasy world. Not an easy world to mimic!

[Krisi]

I think that when I dress as a female, I'm attracted to guys, cds and transgender. I haven't date a female recently and I lost my virginity to a guy

It doesn't matter what you are wearing, it's who you are having sex with. The thought that strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig changes your sexual orientation is pretty silly.

From your post, I would say that you are gay or bi-sexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that but you asked.

- - - Updated - - -


......... Being a cross dresser is related to gender expression......... .

Or it's just something we like to do for some unknown reason. Not expressing anything, we just enjoy it. Nothing more.

[JenniferMBlack]

Just to add a question to this tread: has anybody CDed to make the gay/bi experience easier? Or better?


This is an interesting question. I have to make it more fun and interesting. And on a couple of occasions so it would happen with a certain guy. My first when I was younger happened because I dress and he caught me and was into crossdressers we were the same age so not creepy. I also dress with girls for the fun aspect as well so it isn't a gay or bi thing for me.

[LelaK]

We're all flexible and capable of being or doing about anything under the proper circumstances.

[TrishaTX]

the think there is a broad spectrum...but I fit into the pansexual arena for all that is worth

[StevieTV]

I am gay and a CD. I've come to realize I'm transgender. I have no interest in having a sexual relationship with a female. It's difficult to meet someone as the vast majority of gay guys are attracted to men. So far every guy I've gone out with, dump me when I tell them I like being fem. I'm up front about it and this surprises me as I meet them as a fem guy and they say they are fine with it.

[anna36b]

You can be any mix of things these days and I think traditional labels are out. I personally am very bisexual. When I am dressed as a woman, I find an overwhelming desire to be sexual with another cd/tv girl or a guy. I think its that desire to feel like a complete woman (for me at least) and please a man like any genetic woman would. I was with a guy when I was 19 and he was late 40s. I would dress fully fem and we would meet once a week. This went on for a few years. After things ended, I met a girl I liked, got married....now divorced and seeing both guys and girls. Only guys when I am dressed fem..just my preference.

Its a new and interesting world!

[gina shiney]

This tread has been doing my head in since it was first posted and the replies while informative don't seem to apply to me. Yes the original post has been addressed (thank you Lorileah)
ok background: the second post on ask a transsexual applies to my history, bearing that in mind, I am not attracted to the male form.The only exception is to a person who looks female in all ways (boobs, no facial hair, or hair anywhere that is not in keeping with GG, fat in the right places) bar the bits. I always wanted to be with a hermaphrodite when younger . Even now I struggle with my own image as I wish/want boobs no hair anywhere except on my head, to have a female form , not to have the sack or its contents. I don't want to lose the member. I have been trying to learn more on how to achieve this in as natural way as possible. I am still attracted to women. Where do I fit in?
Gina

[BLUE ORCHID]

No matter what the Swinging Fence Gate is wearing, A Gay Gate only swings one way, And a Bi Gate swings both ways.