Why?

[Antonia Flemming]

Hi Girls
I got a problem, My wife wont allow me to shave my legs and she says that, that part of my feminine side would always be there! Cyclists shave their legs so do swimmers but that dont make them Feminine in any way. Now i have to wear leggings or dark stockings every time i dress, but i want to dress with bare legs also. I dont know how to talk her round on this?

[Teresa]

Antonia,
Maybe I didn't do it the right way but just did it ! She didn't even notice till I told her, all she said was you're getting worse .

I would let the dust settle and then try the same thing, maybe a little at a time . It's surprising how quickly people get use to it, my family just accept it now.

It does feel a little unfair when some men have little or no hair at all and no one calls them effeminate !

[Leslie Langford]

Your wife won't "allow" you to shave your legs? Does she ask your permission if she changes her hairstyle or dyes her hair a different color? I'm guessing "no".

Are you a man or a mouse? Squeak up!

[Dana44]

Actually, just shave your legs. Yeah like every couple days. I bet she does not even notice. But if she does them opps, I thought I would try it and I like it. In fact all the men at the spa does it. And they shave their chest yep men do that. So in this case be man and do what you want to your body. she does that to hers why not you? In fact go get a Brazilian she might like that.

[Alexa CD]

Take up swimming, or cycling! But seriously I'd just do it, some guys just do it anyway so it's not really anything to do with crossdressing, or femininity in particular.

[Laura912]

And then along came the old fuddy duddy who reminded you that most cyclist and swimmers are not cross dressers so shaved anatomy does not constantly remind their SO of that. Before plunging ahead, evaluate just how sensitive she is to your CDing and decide if this is the proverbial straw. Perhaps you could say with all honesty, "I would like to try this so can we see how it goes?" If that is met with flying crockery, time to rethink.

[cdterri]

I shave from my nose down and no one has ever said a thing

[Antonia Flemming]

Actually, just shave your legs. Yeah like every couple days. I bet she does not even notice. But if she does them opps, I thought I would try it and I like it. In fact all the men at the spa does it. And they shave their chest yep men do that. So in this case be man and do what you want to your body. she does that to hers why not you? In fact go get a Brazilian she might like that.

I do shave down there and i also shave my chest and my back and shoulders but not my legs or arms

[NicoleScott]

...so go buy a bicycle....

Seriously, you have already psssed the "easier to get forgiveness than permission" point. Sadly, if you do it now, she may see it as defiance, and permission to do as she pleases without regard to your opinion. Not good.

Racers (swim, run, bike) who shave body hair get a very slight benefit, but one that may make the difference between really fast and world class fast. If you're not a competitive racer, there's little point. If you were a competitive biker, she may be on board, but she knows your motive.

If only:
"I want to shave my legs to bike faster".
"No way".
"So how can I go faster?"
"How about pantyhose?"
"If you insist".

[Antonia Flemming]

i HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND SHE HATED IT

[StacyCD]

She may be opposed because of the "what's next" issue. My wife use to not like me shaving my legs but has gotten use to it

[NancySue]

Antonia, I have a very supportive wife who, many time makes great suggestions. In my progression, I "assumed" she wouldn't like me shaving. I learned...don't "assume" anything. One night, we were chatting and she, out of the blue, asked me why I didn't shave my legs, chest, etc. I about flipped. I shaved immediately and never looked back. It's now part of my life style. It doesn't make much sense to me that she's OK with your dressing, but not this part of what we do? A little "control", maybe? I say...go for it ! It's wonderful...bare or with hose...I prefer the latter, but around here, few women wear hose....sad..

[Teresa]

Antonia,
I'm slightly confused by your last reply, most of you body is shaved anyway, I will admit I don't shave round my genitals apart from the panty line, I did feel that would freak my wife out. The one area she noticed straight away was my chest.

How come your wife refuses to let you shave your legs when most of you body is clean shaven , what are her objections when the rest of your body is smooth and hair free ?

[Pat]

So, it's not really that your wife doesn't "allow" it, it's that she doesn't like it and you, as a good spouse, try to make her happy. Good for you. But as you note, sometimes it's unpleasant having to "disoblige yourself to oblige another" as the old saying goes. I understand the temptation to pout a bit but it sounds like your only winning strategy is acceptance. (OK, acceptance and non-aggravating lobbying for change.) I often feel so sad for people in your situation. All I can do is say I admire you for putting the relationship before yourself.

[Tina_gm]

Please do not read too much into all of the accepting participating wives you see here. Not that it doesn't happen, or won't ever. The initial reaction of many wives is not usually a positive one. If acceptance does ever happen, it may very well be many months if not years. It is likely she may never "like it" There are a whole bunch of people on here or who have been on here where CDing was a central issue in the marriage break up.

Body shaving if you have recently told her about this may be a bit too quick. I can understand where she will think that it is something that is always going to be there, where as clothing, even make up can be removed in a matter of minutes. bare legs take several weeks to grow back in fully.

[pamela7]

man up, and tell her what you've done, after the fact.

[Lorileah]

why do I see a "now my wife wants a divorce thread" in the future? You all talk pretty big when it isn't YOUR wife.

Go ahead...shave...I hope you have a spare bedroom or a nice couch (and the :eek: is the "does she ask you" thing?...OMG I want to watch this train wreck)

[JamieG]

I agree with Jennie, GenderMutt, and Lorileah. If you go ahead and do it after she's told you she hates it and doesn't want you to, that is not being a kind and loving spouse. Either she'll resent you for it or leave you. We talk a lot about setting boundaries on this website, and this appears to be one of your wife's boundaries. Live with hairy legs for a while and then every once in a while, see if she's willing to renegotiate.

[Cristy2]

I can't speak for your situation, but a growing trend I have noticed here in Florida. I do a lot of work in Jax Beach and one of the condos I do work on is right on the beach next to the public access walk and I have noticed a lot of men of all colors have their legs shaved smooth as a baby's backside.

[Antonia Flemming]

When i shave my legs? which i am going to do, but im gonna tell her first! How do i stop the itching?

[pamela7]

okay these things go both ways. I remember my wife choosing to hack a foot off her hair; I didn't like it but it was as it was. Relationships are more than shaving and beards.

[Cristy2]

When i shave my legs? which i am going to do, but im gonna tell her first! How do i stop the itching?

Apply a moisturizer right after you shave.

[Tina_gm]

Whoa, in your OP, you said she won't allow it, and how do you get her to change her mind, now you say you are going to do it..... It's a good thing at least that you are going to tell her you are going to do it, despite her objections. 1st of all, it's pretty standard from just about anyone that if you give them a choice between something they do want (which is you to stay the same) vs something they don't want (you to be more feminine ) they are going to choose the 1st option. But then of course, after we have rocked their whole world with all of this and then almost immediately start making changes, they freak out as well.

It amazes me how many think that after a week or so that their wives or partners of so many years are just going to roll with it, despite how many years it took ourselves to be ok with ourselves. It is likely going to take a whole lot of time for them to even come to grips with what has been told to them, several months if not years just to really get their head around it. Occasionally a wife or partner of many years will roll with it fairly easy, but that is not common. Some never roll with it, they instead roll out the door.

Many here when I read the 'I told my wife and now things are not going well' threads, I keep reading the I want I want I want, and she is not cool with it... Can any of us hazard any guesses as to why??? Besides the most obvious, your girl is likely hetero and you are doing a 180 from what she likes..... The X factors IMO weigh just as heavily, if not more so.

Sooo, you tell her, its been a secret desire of yours for well, forever. But you haven't really acted on it much or at all.... until now So there is a change there, at least in her eyes, and maybe yours too if you are being honest with yourself. In her eyes, you seemed fine just being the guy you are, hairy body and short hair, no make up, dresses and whatever else. NOW... that is all changing. So the questions get asked... are you gay or bi? No? doesn't really compute as what you are doing is dressing in a way that will attract men, not women generally, and certainly not her. When she asks about drag queens and you say no, it's nothing like that.... She then will think about the stories, documentaries about men who transitioned to be women.... it's not that either..... OK, so then what is it? You don't know? you just are? just are what? and that what seems to be changing. It is moving closer to feminine.... Because you were fine for x amount of years and now you are not. OR.... you have been leading a secret double life for all these years. Don't be too surprised when that doesn't go over well....

So a couple weeks go by and she is desperately trying to make sense of what the hell is going on and now comes the changes.... It is overload here to the max. You ask permission, and another x factor is the massive loss of control she now feels, so you offer up that control and don't be surprised here either if she takes control and tries to put life back where she wants it to be.... Ya didn't need it then, you are not planning on actually becoming a woman, you are asking, so the answer is no. Oh, so you are going to do it anyway? why did you ask? I guess that makes sense since you hid it for all these years....

More x factors. You lied, and lied and lied. Dice it up any way you wish. I never said I wasn't is always a brilliant comeback to land someone on the couch or spare bedroom.... Society is generally not cool with it. It's likely been beaten into her head like everyone elses how horrible and perverted it all is. Got to clear that hurdle too.

So let's see.... you lied about who you really were, and now she knows, but no longer feels she knows you. Well except for the fact that you are quite capable of lying to her and keeping up that lie for a considerable time. So in her eyes, you can be lying about a whole bunch of stuff... You are changing and going farther away from the man she fell in love with, society doesn't like it at all. She feels like her life is spiraling out of control, you offer her a little control, don't like her answer and then rip that control away from her too.... And we wonder WHY they have problems with our cross dressing....

[Jenniferathome]

... reminded you that most cyclist and swimmers are not cross dressers so shaved anatomy does not constantly remind their SO of that. ...


Bingo! We have a winner. By the way, I stated this very scenario to a woman who had just learned her husband was a cross dresser and she agreed completely that it would NOT bother her if he was NOT a cross dresser.

[deebra]

I agree with Leslie, and while you are at it shave clean what's just above the top of your legs. Feels great under panties.

[Samantha54]

Okay, so you shave everywhere, but your legs? How does she feel about those other areas being shaved?

[Judy-Somthing]

I don't shave my legs but I have very little hair. Over the last year I've been pulling out my chest hair and arm pit hair a little each week and my wife hasn't noticed.

Yes it hurts a little!

[Teresa]

Samantha,
I asked the same question but didn't receive an answer, it does seam odd that everywhere else is accepted so it doesn't make sense. Legs are usually the first thing shaved and then we progress to other areas.

Judy,
It's good to see your avatar back and spending some time here again.

I wish I could get away with pulling the odd hair out ! For me it's a total chest and leg shave every day and if Antonia reads this that's how I keep the itching to a minimum.