Should I plan on my daughter eventually finding out about me?

[Sissyboy2]

I was wondering my daugter is 4 now but should I expect sometime in the next few years she will discover my secrets.
Right now I have things in my closet hiding under some heavy things that she wouldn't be able to lift. I just have a feeling that eventually she will find out. Kids like to go through things.

Does any one have any experience of simialr situations with your kids finding out. I know when she is older it won't be a big of a deal but at younger ages it will be harder for her to understand. And if she found out at a younger age she'll tell a lot more people. I am not really that open about it yet to people other than my wife and mom knowing. Should I eventually have to move the stuff in a tuffer spot to find or is it just a matter of time.

[Kate Simmons]

That is how my two teenage Sons found out by going through my closet. Later I told my Daughter when she was 16. I think it is better they find out when they are a bit older, otherwise they are sometimes confused although like many things there are exceptions to the "rules".:battingeyelashes::)

[Stephanie47]

I believe it is an individual choice based on the child. Yes kids tend to snoop around especially at Christmas time. I would not burden the child with the potential conflicts that may arise in the school yard or among playmates. When she is older she should have a better understanding of sexuality. I would pave the way by being supportive of alternate lifestyles, i.e., gays, lesbians and transgender men and women, when the topic arises. My wife is a teacher and she tells me about instances of total misunderstanding of terms in the school yards. Can you imagine a kindergarten boy defending himself against other age kids with the defense of "I'm not gay." My wife asked him if he knew what he was talking about. He did not have a clue. He was just parroting what he had heard at home. So, just prepare your daughter with being supportive and accepting of all people without regard to race, creed, color, national origin or sexuality.

[Katya@]

It's your choice. If you want to hide, your probably can and if you do a good a job, they may not find out. I made a different choice and decided I don't want to hide, lie, and live in permanent state of fear or paranoia. I have two daughters, one is your daughter age, and another slightly older. Both know, both seen me, no one is confused, neither one has told friends (I never asked not to), and if they do, I don’t care. Life is too short to spend it in fear

[Teresa]

Sissyboy,
I would take the safer route and secure your things so she can't find them, you can't tell a child it's wrong if she does say something , why put yourself and her in that situation at the moment . The only person to get something out of it maybe you and it may turn out to be a bad idea just to give you more freedom to dress.

I still think it's best to wait until they are adults, it's an adult problem that shouldn't be put on a child's shoulders.

I will have to do the same thing myself soon , my grandsons are into everything and I'm going to get a roasting if the boys find my things, it will also be embarrassing for me if they drag my things out for all to see !, My wife and children may know about my CDing but they haven't seen me so to be exposed like that is going to bring unnecessary pressure on my CDing.

[Katya@]

I would respectfully disagree with calling CD'ing the adult "problem". When you see it as a problem, yes, you want to hide it from kids. When you don't make a big deal out of it, neither do kids. We have several homosexual families in school, each has a child. Parents in those families don't hide each other out from their kids. Thei kids grow up normal, no trauma.

[cdterri]

All 3 of my daughters and all 3 sons were exposed to my dressing at very early ages. They all accepted it and as far as I know never told anyone.

[Eryn]

Your children will likely figure it out unless you use extreme security measures.

Now, the question is whether you want to burden them with a secret, and the likelihood that the secret will get out. Their "best friend" this week may be their "worst enemy" next week and if they confided your secret it will be out there.

I only had to deal with this when my daughters were teens, and we decided not to tell them until they had gone to college. That worked for us. I don't know how I would have handled it with younger children.

[Pat]

I'd prefer to focus on the first part of your question: should you plan? Yes. If you plan you have some amount of control. If you don't plan then your question should really be "Should I expect my daughter to eventually find out?" Again, the answer is yes, but in that case it's a discovery and you have little or no control of the situation when it happens.

So if you plan, what should you plan? As someone else pointed out, if the kid has the information it might get out. So you might want to be out ahead of it. If you're out, she can't out you. Can't be out? Then plan on going to extreme measures to prevent discovery. Then also plan for how you would do damage control when discovery happens.

[Roberta Lynn]

I don't know how much stuff you need to keep out of sight.
If you could just keep all you things in a separate garment bag and label the stuff Halloween costumes.
For a young child usually the simplest explanations are enough to satisfy their curiosity.

[Jeny_rj]

I think its too early to worry about this.... I have a 4 year old as well, but still there are many places you can hide your thing, out of their reach.....I am enjoying the girly time and no time for unnecessary worries!!!!