The BIG question

[KittyD]

For me as a Cross-dresser and many others that enjoy this side of life, sooner or later we think about the BIG question...

Q: Do you want to become a woman/transation?
The answer is "Yes" or "No"

Of course it's never that straightforward, but if it is for you then I am delighted for you and so would many other cross-dressers who were considering this.
For myself the answer is "Yes" BUT... there is always a but in this matters!
As crazy as this many sound, I'm actually waiting until I retire which is no more than roughly five to six years away. Why wait until then... well... I've worked incredible hard all my life from manual labouring jobs to private security to aircraft fitting and now I run a small department within the aircraft industry doing classified admin. I'd tell you but I would have to find you and well you know the rest :)
I've been paving the way to give myself a clear pathway to walk down so when that day comes I'm ready, I've taken my time and had all my fill of life's unpleasant surpises.
Those years of worry and doubt about mortgages, bill payments and what will people think of me at work will all be gone! I think the right words to express this would be "I brought my freedom." In a Robinson Crusoe Man Friday style and approach!

Q: Would I transition fully?
No... Here in the UK as I understand it and I could be wrong so please correct me, we all are still learning in our lifes. I would live as a women and dress as a woman full time for two years and than start HRT treaments. I would grow my hair and get a boob job and the rest is how they say history I guess. My partner a GG is fully understanding and as we have been together for sixteen years she knew about Kate pretty much from the start of the relationship. We are a strong team and hold each other up and accept who we are and that through time people grow delevop and change. I guess we all grow not only physically and mentally but also there is a spirit within us all that if aloud to grow can blossom quite nautrally if watered and fed correctly.

Why am I posting this? I guess being a Cross-dresser for some of us can be quite the lonely journey even if you are connected to other Cross-dressers via a forum!
I have one Cross-dressing friend called Gail here in the UK who is kind enough to comment on my videos no matter what the content and give a fair and valid opinion on my work as a Male to Female CD trying to open the doors a little wider for those outside to see in.
I don't really have the problems that most seem to have with Cross-dressing reading many posts over the years apart from what I can only describe as "Mass Isolation"
I hoping when all above is said and done, I will findly get a little more of what I've been looking for in life.
I don't really have a point to this post, but welcome your thoughts and feelings and any advice.

Thanks very much for reading.
Kate D
Often found wondering the empty corridors of their mind "There has to be a door here surely!"

[Amy Lynn3]

Kitty, I would like to be able to go back and forth between the two sexes. You ask a straight forward question and I would need to say no and remain a guy, who has a girly side.

[ClosetED]

For me, it is a straightforward No. I enjoy my male genitals and how they fit with female parts. I would not mind spending vastly more time presenting as feminine, but I don't feel trapped in the wrong body, just the wrong society - one who cares so deeply about what clothing styles a human wears.
Hugs, Ellen

[Dana44]

That is a big question, However, I am gender fluid. it seems that when fem I display my woman self. But as I swing back to male, I display my male self. Of course the fem side has added some side affects, like pained toes, earrings, long hair and natural moobs or boobs. But i still display male fairly well. I have trouble seeing why some men go through srs to become a woman as they could have lived as a female anyways. But i read about it enough that they were female all of their lives and want to be total. So, what ever blows up your skirt is good enough.

[Teresa]

Kate,
I assume you are taking the NHS route ?
From talking to others as I understand it after your initial assessments you will start on hormones, I'm not sure of the time scale but at some point you have to dress full time, from there I assume that can remain at that point or go onto surgery. The overall time scale may vary on your area but a new report just released has shown a two to threefold increase in people wanting to transition. We mustn't forget that there is an increasing number of F/M TSs.
The TS section may be a better section to ask these questions.

[KittyD]

Thank you Teresa :) Sound advice all noted :)

[Confucius]

Do I want to become a woman?? No.
I want to be a man who is appreciated for looking like a woman. When I crossdress I still have a masculine personality, and I like it that way.

My ideal world would be one where all men and woman looked and dressed like beautiful women, independent of their masculine/feminine roles and interests.

[Cristy2]

I honestly cannot give a straight forward yes or a straight forward no to that question because I am still trying to figure out the answer to that myself. Dressing itself, as far as actually crossdressing, up till about three or four years ago was just a "for kicks" thing that I did every once in a blue moon. Though all my life I have always been drawn to the more feminine things in life. However, now I almost feel like a total fake wearing mens clothing and it is very painfully frustrating and depressing to be, at least at the moment, stuck in a situation where I cannot dress the way or like the person I feel I am.

As it stands right now, if the opportunity came along where I could fully transition, I would say that there is a 98% provability that I would.

[cdtraveler]

Count me in in the no side but only cause I have fun enjoying both gender expression. My wish for younand everyone else is to be happy and follow your heart. Lufe is just too short not to.

[Kate Simmons]

The big question for myself would have to be what would I hope to gain by transitioning that I don't already have now by being a CDer?:)

[Lorileah]

Ah....the label thing...again.

In my opinion, the OP isn't "just a crossdresser" but a transsexual who either hasn't or won't transition. And my advice to them is don't go into the NHS interview saying you are a CD and just want the perks. If anyone is considering living 24/7 I would say they aren't crossdressers.

Kate, you confuse me. What would you "gain"? Really? If that is your sole question, then the answer is simple. Nothing, because you aren't TS. Anyone who sees HRT or surgery as way to "gain" anything but become who you are inside, shouldn't even consider it. Why do people keep thinking that this is a journey to one end of the spectrum? I see it as "You is or you ain't" Not you "want" to be a woman, you ARE a woman. If there is any doubt, don't consider playing it part way to see if you are.

[phylis anne]

hmmmm I fit a different bill here ,I believe I am gender fluid (still aiting for a counselor) so I like to be both ,lately however phylis has been demanding her time as well in fact it has become a total daily obsession mentally which has changed my normal mood swings from old bear to where is the old guy and what did you do with him ? mood (Mellow )

[Lana Mae]

I do not plan to transition. I just want to see and be the feminine side of me sometimes not permanently. Lana Mae is the name of the feminine side but it is really only me.Just another aspect of the same person. I am having a transformation in Sept. and it will be a pivotal point in my journey but I do not think it will change how I think about this!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Liz57]

My thoughts echo closetED. I would like to dress and present as a woman full time for a couple of months just to see how it felt. I think that would be enough for me

[arbon]

I have trouble seeing why some men go through srs to become a woman as they could have lived as a female anyways.

Ughhgggh
Srs does not make one a woman.
Do you think being a part time girl is being a woman? Do you think putting on some cloths makes someone a woman.
Your are a woman or your not. Your inbetween, fine, I don't know what that is like. Maybe you should not presume to know what it is to be a woman or that those who do pursue Srs were men.

[sara66]

No, I like both sides of me. My guys side builds thing my girl side relaxes me.
Sara

[Fiona123]

No. I would like to be able to switch back and forth.🌺👗

[steph_2015]

I would love to transition but my normal life will not allow that till then it will only remain a dream

[Michelle123]

I think I would be content to just be able to live full time as a woman, but keep my male parts. But also, to be passable enough to be conceived as a woman by others too. Actually, I must say, I do pass very well now, when I take the time to do my makeup, wig, etc.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hey Kitty

Lorileah, Arbon and myself would all agree that if you have the "want" to be come a women, you probably are already one. Only therapy sessions can help you come to a conclusion if you are or not. But you will know well before that.

You can tell from a lot of the posts that most of the members are CD and have no drive to pursue changing gender. That would be because they identify as males, no matter how they are dressed. If you have doubts, talk with a therapist who is trained in these matters. Also read the transsexual forum and see if you can relate to the stories. CD in itself does not make nor lead one to be transgender, that seed was planted during conception.

[pamela7]

Hi Kate,

I'm also in Somerset, so i can give you local advice on the transition process here. First you need a GP to agree to refer you to the Laurels in Exeter. After about 6-8 weeks, they'll write to tell you, that you have a 10 month wait to see someone. Then you get to have about 5 sessions over 18 weeks to be assessed, and then you see the psychiatrist, at which point they put a 2-year clock on you being dressed/presenting as female full-time, and you might get to start some hormone treatment. After that 2 years if ur still committed you can get onto the SRS waiting list.

be nice to catch up sometime, there are a couple of t-girl meeting groups here in Somerset.

xxx Pam

[Jenniferathome]

I think one who asks this is question of oneself proves you are not a transexual. Transexual women a ARE women. They don't "want" to be women. SRS doesn't change that as I understand it. SRS is a physical fit to the brain.

So so the relevant question is, "as a trans women, do you want SRS"

[Lacey New]

Ditto for me - well said Ellen
For me, it is a straightforward No. I enjoy my male genitals and how they fit with female parts. I would not mind spending vastly more time presenting as feminine, but I don't feel trapped in the wrong body, just the wrong society - one who cares so deeply about what clothing styles a human wears.
Hugs, Ellen

[KittyD]

Hi Kate,

I'm also in Somerset


xxx Pam

That's really kind of you :)
As I tried to get a cross in post... I'm feeling a bit lonely!

- - - Updated - - -


I would love to transition but my normal life will not allow that till then it will only remain a dream

Yeah... I know that feeling well...
I really want the timing to be right for me!
I full well know this isn't a race or a game and I would dearly like some space around :)
Thanks Steph :)

- - - Updated - - -

So quite a mixed bag of answers some super spot on helpfully and thoughtful with friendly honest answers and of course with out fail a few picky tiny hip-ups in how I've worded this post.
I'm always learning about myself as I move through life... At least I've finally met some one here who lives near me, which is lovely to know.
Thank you all so far :)

[Stephy123]

Steph, I like you would love to transition but the life I have and developed as a male will not allow, but given the opportunity I would live as a girl most times. My female side is what keeps me sane and even. Embracing who I am has been something that I believe helped me through life. My Conselor seems to agree and wants me to come dressed but have not decided. She tells me the more I embrace who I am and that part inner peace. For me it changed over the last year I want to more of my girl side to old now for complete transition and the family would not be happy, so I do what I can. Hope your situation is less complicated.

[sometimes_miss]

Q: Do you want to become a woman/transation?
The answer is "Yes" or "No"
Ahhhh, but the reason why we might want that has everything to do with the answer! And so very few people have even the faintest idea of why they feel the way they do. Which is understandable; it took decades for me to figure myself out.

So, for me: "Do you want to become a woman/transation?"
I have the desire to become a woman. I have no desire to transition. The desire to become a woman is a result of being brought up believing that I was supposed to be female, so, stuck in my mind, is the idea that my body should be & present as female, which results in the incongruity of wearing men's clothes. Unfortunately, just feeling like I'm supposed to be female doesn't 'fit' with everything else. Nothing else about me is female. I don't think like a woman, I don't communicate like a woman, I don't experience the world like a woman, I don't see relationships like a woman, I'm sexually turned off by men, I'm sexually turned on by women, I don't 'nest', there's more but I think you can get the point. The only female thing about me is, I feel like I'm supposed to be one, all because of what was continually reinforced through my childhood and adolescence. I believe that something about our sexual self identification becomes permanent at some point during our development, in a similar way that our linguistic accent becomes permanent after puberty. I cannot tell you exactly when it 'finalized' in me. But even though I now know that I am not female, the feeling that I'm supposed to be, never goes away. You can read more about it in my bio, link is in my sig. It's about a ten minute read.

[bonni]

the answer is yes to transistion. im working on it now with all the correct doctors