Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser?

[Meghan4now]

Ok, so this is a tough question. And I don't expect everyone to have the same answer.

Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser?

Before you answer, consider the difference in one or two people knowing that you crossdress, certain populations (i.e. support groups, that one really cool bar, etc.), a larger group, maybe family, work, or pretty much everyone knowing. And consider the difference between wanting it, versus just being ok with it.

Keep in mind, some people may, sorry WILL think of you as gay or a perv. But it might not matter to you. Also are there definetly some you don't ever want to know?

I can not even honestly answer my own question. I vasilate on my own response. Some days I might think YES, some meh OK, and others Heck no, and even occasionally, I don't even want to know me as a crossdresser! So very weird.

[Kate Simmons]

My answer would be that most people refer to me as Kate or Ericka (my club name). They may see that I CD but I honestly don't think that enters into the equation for the most part.They see who I am as a person not a thing. :battingeyelashes::)

[SherriePall]

I think, for now, my answer is no. It would not be fair to be known at The Crossdresser. Afterall, it is just a part of me. Mostly, a small part of me. I am much more than just one label. I am multifaceted. Should I be known as the Hardworker? Or, as the Yeller?
Maybe, it would be better if I am known as the hard-working, yelling crossdresser.
Now, that I haven't really answered your question, I'll bow out.

Sherrie

[michelleddg]

I'm quite happy where I am. Wife, a handful of service providers (hair, nails, makeup, skin care) and a handful of peeps from here. Other than my wife, nobody who knows me primarily as Fred knows about Michelle, and I am quite content to keep it that way. Hugs, Michelle

[Roberta Lynn]

Unfortunately being know as a crossdresser would over shadow or define anything else they knew about.
You could be a concert pianist but you would be know as that crossdressing piano player.

Roberta

[AllieSF]

To those who know me as Allie, they already know what and who I am, so the label does not matter. To strangers I have been identifying myself as Transgender or trans without and further details. I prefer that self identification to saying crossdresser. I do that because in today's rapidly changing world I hope that brings a little more credibility to me and us to the real world people out there. I am happy and proud of me and who I am when out to those people, just not close to home yet. I am not out to family and am seriously considering starting that process. Taking that first step in telling a family member or friend is the hardest so far for me. I do not yet feel that I need to tell them, but am beginning to want to tell them, if that makes sense.

[Lana Mae]

I sort of agree with Allie. I am out to my daughter-knows, accepts, but doesn't want to see daddy dressed. Want to tell my son but occassion has not arose. As of now, I am just me! Lana Mae is my dressed or feminine side! Yes I am a crossdresser but that is just a label and not who I am!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Alice Torn]

SherriePall, and Roberta said a lot for me. I go out only about six times a year, mainly to walk around a Norhern Illinois University park, then to an evening city ban concert in a park. I would guess some of the older folks at the concerts have me pegged as "the crossdresser", or gay, or TS, by now. So far only one person has been a little rude, so far. Sadly, this part of me would overshadow any other noble things about me, as Roberta said.

[Toni Citara]

I can see the pros and cons of having his label affixed to a person. The people that know you most intimately, friends, family members and co-workers, will always apply that label to you regardless of what you're doing.

Myself I have a few friends that are very familiar with my crossdressing and once in awhile I get some teasing. Asking me if I'm wearing panties or pantyhose or something like that.

It is what it is, I can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, and that's one of the reasons why I feel such a weight off my chest after coming clean with my friends. Which was probably easier for me than most because I have done some drag shows and for them to see my legs shaved or wigs at my place seems "normal for toni" type of thing.

[Emma or Darren]

I've often thought about this but you think of any person you tell and the chain of people that will find out and personally I don't want the judgment.
On another level I haven't yet gone full ensemble yet and when I do I want Emma to be a whole different person unrecognizable as Darren (probably unrealistic but a girl/boy can dream)
not be labeled as a CD although I am comfortable with that label to myself.
Only my wife and 2 sons know and the oldest is extremely supportive
Emma xx

[Amy Fakley]

I'd prefer not to be known as "the crossdresser", at least within the culture I currently live in. As others have said, at least within this culture, it doesn't matter what else you are, or what your accomplishments may be, you will always be considdered "the crossdressing _____" (fill in the blank)

It's not that I'm even particularly ashamed of the label. It's just that pretty much everyone else thinks I should be, and on top of constantly having to explain/defend myself, there'd be a multitude of negative impacts to deal with.

So no ... I don't let my freak flag fly at home.if I'm going out in girl mode, it's gotta be an out of town thing. Call me a coward of you want, I s'pose it's probably true, but I've got my reasons, and they are purely practical.

[Jaylyn]

Since my wife is the only one that knows I CD, ( other than the ones on here) I guess to my wife I am her hubby, CD and she sometimes refers to me as her friend Jaylyn. This is ok with me as I really could care less if the world knows.

[Tracii G]

I'm the neighborhood tranny they all know except for the new family that bought the house next door.
The neighbor across the street probably already told them about me but thats fine.

[Ceera]

I'd prefer they know me as "That tall blond lady". Or as "That person who is sometimes a guy and is sometimes a girl". Some of my neighbors know clearly that I am transgender, and accept me completely. They've all had a chance to see me coming or going en-femme, or to notice that as a guy I always have feminine painted nails and pierced ears. Will some call me names and make assumptions? Possibly. Do I care? Not one bit. Anyone who actually talks with me and interacts with me to any extent, in either mode, will quickly learn that I am a decent person and a good neighbor. And if they haven't bothered to interact with me, they they know nothing, and their opinions are baseless.

[NicoleScott]

Only my wife knows. So, no, I don't want to be known as a crossdresser.
But....
I went several times to a tg-friendly club. There, I wanted to be seen, or at least didn't mind being seen as a crossdresser, which I obviously was.

[Allisa]

I've already have a moniker as "the area Transvestite", I have notified those who informed me of my "Title" that crossdresser would be more to my liking but whatever, I am known around town and at a whole slew of establishments that I frequent in both modes. Even the local police force know of me, and as far as I can tell support me in my expression of self, also many of the clerks at town hall know of me and have done business in both modes. So I guess my answer would be YES, I do wear it with a sense of pride, and if that's the only way they know me than at least they know one CDer so I hope I represent well and belay any misconceptions.

[Dana44]

Yep I am a crossdresser and it is likely that my neighbors know. Since I am boy/girl, I don't mind if people know. My ex outed me to everyone anyways so woopie be boop its alright.

[gokatiegirl]

No I don't want to be known as the cross dresser but do want to be known as transgender even though I'm not 100% full-time. Transgender is a better way of explaining myself and when people do refer to me as a cross dresser I'm happy to correct them. I no longer pretend to be a woman.. I do try to be the best t-girl I can be and I'm real proud of it.

[Rachael Leigh]

Well for me since I don't feel my Crossdressing defines me I really don't think that's how I want to be refered to.
I'm TG maybe but I'm just me I don't need a label

[EffyJaspers]

Do you WANT to be known as the crossdresser? Yes, especially if they understand what a CD is, and not skewed perspectives of what they "Know".
Also are there definitely some you don't ever want to know? In the end no. I'd rather everyone know and so no shocked, "When did this start/happen"? moments happen and it was just a part of me, like a third arm.

Now coming out to different groups would be different. Family i will/do come out solo for each person. Coworkers I would need to beat in a street fight-boxing match so I earn their respect moreso before I lay what is considered an 'atom bomb personality trait' truth on them. They have agreed to fight to, so I'd rather tell them after a good fight then them somehow learn about it. Plus, beating them in a fight "proves" my masculinity? And I like fighting.

[ReineD]

Unfortunately being know as a crossdresser would over shadow or define anything else they knew about.
You could be a concert pianist but you would be know as that crossdressing piano player.

I agree with this. It would become the only thing people think of when they think of you, and even if they don't associate being gay or having a fetish with the CDing, this would over-shadow your other accomplishments.

It's like telling people you're an alcoholic. Even if you've been in recovery for years and are no longer triggered by other people drinking, they primarily think of you as an alcoholic and they feel awkward if they're out for dinner with you and they want a glass of wine.

[flatlander_48]

No, I wouldn't want to be known as the Crossdresser as, technically, that would be inaccurate. When I have outted myself and talked about gender identity, I always say: "Transgender, but not transitioning". There are several reasons why Transgender is a much better fit for me than Crossdresser, but there is no need to go into that here. Unfortunately, I suspect that in the minds of the population at large, there are only 2 terms: Transgender = Transsexual and Crossdresser. However, it is overly simplistic to say that there are Transsexuals and there are Crossdressers without mentioning what is between those extremes.

DeeAnn

[ReineD]

DeeAnn, I also think that saying "transgender" to people is better than "crossdresser". People, with their limited knowledge, might associate the term "transgender" with the transsexuals they've been exposed to in the media like Kaytlin Jenner, and so they might have a loose idea it has something to do with gender identity (depending on what they think of Jenner), even if the person in question is not living full time as a woman. But saying "crossdresser" I think would cause most people to associate it with fetish.

[Jenniferathome]

I don't want to be "known" as anything more than the guy I am. Cross dresser is only a small part of that person. Father, husband, good guy, are all part of the equation.

If others were to become aware that I cross dress, then I prefer the term cross dresser as that describes that part of me perfectly. And while I agree with Reine that the cross dresser term likely has a more negative image than Transgender, I am not transgender. I just cross dress.

[Meghan4now]

Thank you everyone.

It is interesting to read these comments. One thing that I think has been confirmed is that people will think of you as they will. Sure, we can try to influence them by "good" behavior, and "acceptable" presentation, but in the end we are preceived in the light they use to see us.

So, while not to frighten anyone, remember that once out of the bottle, the genie is hard to put back in. Unless you're Roger Nelson, and you'll figure a way to trick her by the end of the show. BIG CLOUDS OF PINK FOG. :pinktornado: :belly:

[Brandy Mathews]

Meghan,
I was outted years ago. Word got around like wild fire. People are so hateful. My sister called me a freak. I get a lot of snickers and people talking under their breath because they don't have the guts to say it to my face. So no, I would say that you would not want to be known as " The crossdresser".
Bree :)

[Meghan4now]

Bree,

Has it gotten better over time?

[Alexa CD]

Absolutely not, people can think whatever they like of me. I'll never tell them what to think of me.

[Stephanie47]

Meghan, there is a thread open on the term "GG" being offensive. Now, let's pick your wording apart! :) "The Crossdresser?" Is there one and only one "crossdresser," the CROSSDRESSER. Perhaps, am I to be known as "a" cross dresser. I suspect to be called "the crossdresser" is to cast a dispersion upon me, because as Roberta Lynn points out the term negates everything else you may be or have achieved. There is a long list of adjectives that may be used to describe me as a man. If I draw up a list, the last entry would be "a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing on occasion."

One of the problems I see repeated on this site is wives automatically putting "a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing on occasion" at the top of the list instead of the bottom.

[Toni Citara]

Just as a rereference, along the lines of this thread, check out "crossdressing truck driver".

Most of the Articles do not reference the name of the employee that was fired by Winn-Dixie for his non work-related activities.

Most of the news articles and online references do not refer to this gentleman has a 20-year veteran over-the-road truck driver, they only refer to him as "the crossdressing truck driver".

After being fired from his position, lawsuits were filed, numerous articles in newspapers as well as television parts, and online references, literally destroyed this man and his wife. All for something that should not matter.

[Judith96a]

To answer the OP's question... No! Quite apart from all the unnecessary negative connotations, "the crossdresser" doesn't define who I am to anything like the same degree as "IT guy", " engineer " or even "radio ham" might!

[sometimes_miss]

Absolutely not.

[Nikki A.]

As far as I am concerned I really don't care. However in deference to my family I pick my spots and who I tell. When I retire and move and I'm somewhere that no one knows my family, I'll wear what ever I want and feel good about it.
If I'm known as the local crossdresser but am treated respectfully, so be it. I've spent time out and about dressed, I know I don't really pass but I feel good about me and never had a problem.

[Majella St Gerard]

As Popeye says I am what I am, I don't hide that I crossdress. If asked I say yes. I don't start conversations with hi I'm a crossdresser, sometimes I have to dress male as with work. I'ts all over my facebook so a little investigation will out me to the vanilla world. It's happened already at one place I worked, I just said yeah that's me outside of work, no problem, several questions but other than that nothing.

[docrobbysherry]

OMG! Definitions r SO DIFFICULT!:doh:
Because to different folks they means different things!

To naive vanillas I say I'm a, "Crossdresser". To vanillas that r familiar with CD's and trans I say, "Female impersonator". Here, I say, "Fetish dresser".

What do I think I am? ME!!!!:tongueout

[Valery L]

There is a group of people, such as family members and lab mates which it is better that ignore my crossdresser condition. For almost anyone else I am out of the closet, and I actually do not care, so in general I think the answer is yes. I like to be seen as the guy who crossdresses, because that is what I do, and I do not feel shame about it, so I do not care if they know me as the crossdresser.

[Adelaide]

I'd like to be known as Adelaide, plain & simple.

[lingerieLiz]

I don't like the term I prefer eccentric, but I guess I am a crossdresser. I openly wear women's clothes. I don't try to pass as a woman or try to anymore. But, it is pretty obvious sometimes what I'm wearing. When I bend over and someone looks down my blouse and sees my lace bra or the bra lines it leaves little doubt. If I wear a stretchy top or sweater and the fabric stretches between the girls it is a give away. I'm sure people talk, but I have a lot of friends that it never comes up as to what I'm wearing unless I'm shopping with friends.

It is not for everyone. I don't need a job and family all know.

[cdtraveler]

That's too narrow of a label for me and coming out would i think in my circles overshadow all other perceptions of me but who knows? Just not open to finding that out today!

[CatchQueen]

That's a very narrow label indeed...I definitely am that, but I also entertain transgender tendencies (which I have discussed in some vids at my YT channel). The bottom line is these labels are very difficult to work with...they always leave things uncovered and some of them just sound nasty...

[Raychel]

I don't think I want to be necessarily know as "the Crossdresser"
I would much rather be know as the nice guy, who likes to help others
and like to dress in women's clothes at times.

[Glenda]

I really can't believe what I'm reading in this thread. If I'm not mistaken, we all found this site because we were searching the term "crossdresser" or something similar. And now so many of you want to deny what you are because you think it is the only thing that will define you? Or you believe the term is derogatory? Or you're afraid it is embarrassing? Or you prefer trans something because you think it validates you more?

Not me! I am "the crossdresser" and am fairly proud of it. How can we ever expect acceptance from others if we can't even accept ourselves? It is just a label and no single label defines everything about a person. It makes me proud when friends and acquaintances accept this part of me. I've painted my toe nails and shaved my legs and arms for more than 20 years now. If someone asks why, I simply say, "I'm a crossdresser". I may get a funny look but the other people at the table or standing around are quick to come to my defense. They are all used to me and accept me for what I am. A good friend, a damn good pool player, pretty decent golfer, backgammon player, poker and domino player, worker, etc.

Most people knew me before I discovered crossdressing so it was not the initial thing they knew me for. More recent friends have seen how others accept it are delighted when they actually get to meet "Glenda" because I'm just a crossdresser. I'm not full time. I don't dress to get reactions from people. If I attend a party as Glenda where some have never met her then I get all kinds of complements while others seem to be proud that I'm accepted by such a large and diverse group of people. If I'm out running errands as Glenda then I may stop by to have a beer or two at one of my favorite places. I live in Texas which most realize is a little redneck and conservative. I think it makes everyone proud that their world can accept me when all of the rest of the world seems afraid of "the crossdressers".

It is strange but I choose to be open about this side of me. My first time was at the request of a girlfriend that wanted me to dress for a Halloween party. I had never worn women's clothing or make-up but after she finished getting me ready and placed the wig on my head, she stood back to see the finished product and exclaimed, "My God! You really are Glenda!" I was so comfortable that it was like I had been female my whole life but just never expressed it. I was like that at all four of the parties and bars that we went to that night. I went into the closet afterward to more fully explore this side of me but eventually came to the realization that I was worried about what people would say for no good reason. So I started going out to the store or shopping and eventually let my girlfriends convince me to go to our bars and other places where we had friends. I've never regretted it.

If people never meet crossdressers or know they have friends who cross dress then how can we ever be accepted. It doesn't define us as individuals. It is only one part of who we are. I can't hide from friends or family by never letting them stop by if I'm dressed. I can't refuse to take a neighbor to the hospital after an accident because I have to change clothes first. I accept who I am and others do as well. It is not a dirty thing.

[Alexa CD]

Was going to have a reply here.. never mind.

[Karen RHT]

Well said Glenda. I share your "crossdressing doesn't define me" outlook. Still working on getting as far with friends and family as you have.


Karen

[Bruce64]

I want my Crossdressing to be Secretive, My Wife knows about it other that that I wont Broadcast it.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Meghan, Until society has evolved enough to not make ignorant snap decisions, no. I don't believe being known as acrossdresser is an adequate description of me, I am much more. Yes it is a part of me, but it doesn't define me, it is a single characteristic of my personality. Fun question, thanks. Brenda

[realdesired]

Moreover i wanna be a girl

[wanda66]

Well put Glenda,

[SarahleeNH]

I still struggle with the term, really. I understand the wide variety of definitions and connotations that are attached to the term, and would therefore prefer not not to be confined under this small canopy. While I truly do enjoy the feminine clothing, Its not a clothing fetish for me. I really identify as someone more fully feminine along a gender gradient or curve. And I don't mean that I express as a limp-wristed femme fatale, either. But the clothing grounds me comfortably on the curve, allowing me to outwardly express how I feel inwardly. But I am also a grandfather who adores being with his grandchildren. And My wife and I are concerned that the lack of societal acceptance might threaten having full availability of those wonderful children. And I am not willing to jeopardize that relationship in any way. Great question to post! Thanks!

[MissTee]

No. I don't want any label, and I'm not looking to crusade for making it more socially acceptable to dress. I admire the heck out off those that do, and those that live openly. My wife knows about my dressing and when I dress I do it at home. People that know me would say I am a strong supporter of acceptance of all diverse types. In being perceived as one of the "normals" I feel I have a stronger voice in influencing social bias towards acceptance. I'm sure others think differently, but that's where I am.

[ashley_addams76]

I am fine with the term. I don't want to transition. I love the male side of myself, but at am at peace with being a part time girl. I don't want to be public and I some times, while I would feel better with letting the world know, its hard to put the genie back in the bottle when its out.

[xNicolex]

I actually prefer being called a crossdresser or transgender/fluid is fine too. I hate being called a tranny not fond of the technical term ''transvestite'' either or being regarded as someone with Transvestic disorder :Angry3: Its not a disorder.

[ClaudineD]

In my days of early expression, we did not have the variance of terms used in this age...... if I was detected, the terms tranny-perv-gay-fag were used... it was hurtful......even in a progressive(I thought)HS in my teen years my androgynous look was met with derision.....even my girlfriends in HS(many years ago) would use those terms once they became aware.. the hurt was eased with a VERY supportive Mother & Aunt (both Bohemian nutcases) who are appalled(jokingly) that their daughter/niece turned out to be a republican-lol........oh to be a 16 yr old in today's environment!......transition would have started at an earlier age....labels/words used by people can have significant meaning if backed with conviction......support group I help out with for young CDs/TGs, I lend my experience to say, 1st-be who ARE... 2nd......embrace that person and seek support step by step...and 3rd...do not worry about a label-educate others who you ARE.....

[reinasblack]

being known as "the cross dresser" comes with excess baggage like he must be gay are he wants to be a girl ,he is not manly enough, he is a Sissy, he's a punk,pantywaist,he's a TS,. .....

he's a pervert,don't trust him around kids,

[Robin414]

Hell no! It has such a negative vibe to it! I'm freaking gender fluid, I like to think I'm helping define the look (you listening Tom...Ford...I know you are 😉 )

[marlacd]

Oh, no way.

I have a hard enough time getting people to accept me for me, much less tossing the crossdresser moniker on top of that. I'm in that situation of being called on when others have some sort of catastrophe in their lives, but get ignored when they have some sort of celebration. That gets old real fast. Plenty of times, I keep asking myself why I allow myself to be drawn into that mess. But, that's the way it goes. They may not realize that I made their problem go away. I know I did, and that only I can own that good feeling.

Little do they know, that person that came to their rescue, is one of those disgusting crossdressers that they openly condemn.

[Teresa]

Meghan,
As far as the public are concerned once they know, it's either trannie or crossdresser , whether we try and educate them or not that's what most will use to describe us, I don't mind if they stick to that and don't use more abusive terms.

I still don't get it some members think those think people will attach other connotations to the label, apart from wondering if we're gay. Also to most people they think because we dress like women , we want to be women , but don't differentiate between TG and TS, many don't see the difference.

Personally I've not been called any of those names , maybe it's the way I put it across but I'm still Terry that becomes Teresa sometimes, they don't attach a label, or turn their noses up with thinking I'm weird or it's a sexual fetish.