I'm O.K. With It

[deebra]

In today's society can/do you see the public at large "accepting" when seeing males dressed in a few items of female clothing with I'm O.K. with it, no big deal, it's become "normal" in today's society? These items include girl jeans, tops, low heels, some make up, jewelry (wearing some of this, not all of this).

[Kate Simmons]

Basically presenting as a man but with feminine items you mean? That seems to be okay with most from what I've seen. :)

[Alexa CD]

Maybe not low heels and makeup but things like jeans, some tops like jerseys or hoodies, maybe some jewellery, it depends, but yeah things like that. I do this all the time, and it's fairly common, although it may not quite be what I'd call normal or everyday. As you said just some of those things, or a few as long as it's not overly feminine overall. In my experience people really don't care, it's no big deal especially if you live in a city for example. It is becoming increasingly accepted and unnoticed, there are androgynous trends of clothing and stuff. Many people may not agree with it, but they don't openly oppose it either, no one says anything or behaves differently, although treatment is probably a bit different as it's often determined by appearance anyway.

[SexySarah0727]

This partially depends on where you're located, but I've only worn girls jeans and Bermuda shorts when dressed overall as a guy since high school, which is going on about 15 years now. No one really makes any direct comment on them being women's although occasionally I do get comments like "Don't your nuts get squashed in those pants/shorts?" etc. Hoodies as long as they are a neutral color go unnoticed. Women's t-shirts/long sleeves can pass as well depending on the cut and how tight they are.

I've also been wearing plain girls flats, moccasins, and sneakers for a while now as well. I think no one really pays enough attention to my feet to make comment on this.

The main thing is keeping to plain styles and colors and without too much design or flash and decent skin coverage. As soon as you start wearing crazy/bright patterns and flashier pieces with glitz/glitter/etc. or spaghetti straps and short shorts that's when comments are made from my experience.

[Lily Catherine]

On my part I wear comparatively subtle women's jeans quite often while presented male, and know quite a few men and boys my size who do so as well. One - one of my personal friends - actually prefers it although he is averse to the idea of crossdressing. I never wear overtly feminine tops, even though I occasionally wear women's T-shirts this way. Thus far I haven't gone as far as blouses yet. Spaghetti straps and strapless tops, much as I like to wear them, are very much out of the question.

Apart from not underdressing I've almost worn a fully female outfit (T-shirt, jeans, jacket, Converse sneakers) out before, but I doubt I raised any eyebrows. I'm the only one I have seen; maybe I should look harder. Most of my jewelry is religious and presumably unisex.

[Rhandi Spencer]

I recently wanted to wear my bra and forms while being in drab. I went to the bank, grocery store etc and did not receive any reaction.
I actually reacted myself, I do not want to present as some weirdo and cause others to judge CD people more than they already do.
Randi

[BrendaPDX]

In my area, almost any kind of dressing is acceptable, I haven't seen any hazing or yelling of deragority comments in a long time. But when I go out I generally want to dress nice, probably too nice, I haven't gone out in just girl jeans, flats, and tops; but have basically dressed that way but with a denim skirt. Oh with wig, makeup, nails, and some jewelry. Never without a wig or makeup. Brenda

[Vicky_Scot]

In today's society can/do you see the public at large "accepting" when seeing males dressed in a few items of female clothing? Here in Scotland the answer has to be a big no.

[mechamoose]

It is a matter of degrees, isn't it?. Girl jeans? Invisible. Underthings? More than invisible. Button down tops? Invisible (except to women).

I have this BEAUTIFUL semi transparent black and red top with lace and roses. No way that is invisible.

You (we) can 'hide' in girl clothing if we choose. It is easy-peasy.

Skirt? Floufy top? Camis? Not so easy to shrug it off as gender appropriate.

...If you care about that sort of thing (I don't). I feel more like myself being a pretty beast.

- Kitty / Moose

[Tracii G]

Been doing that so long I don't notice if anyone has a problem with it anymore.
Sarah I spit Pepsi out my nose when I read the nut squishing comment LOLOL Thank you !!

[lingerieLiz]

I've dressed fem for so long that it is second nature to me. I agree that some clothes are a definite giveaway and cause looks. Then again most of my clothes are pretty much classic looks. I wear women's tees and sweaters. I often wear women's silk or linen shirts depending on the season. In the summer I wear short sleeve polyester blouses/shirts as well. If you wear a bra as I do it will be noticed. In my case I do have boobs while having a fairly slim body. I've had women check in a friendly way, slide their hand across the strap or brand and give a knowing smile. One thing I don't do is wear skirts or dresses as a guy. It just isn't my style.

[SexySarah0727]

Been doing that so long I don't notice if anyone has a problem with it anymore.
Sarah I spit Pepsi out my nose when I read the nut squishing comment LOLOL Thank you !!

Glad I got you to laugh with that lol.

Just to add to this toward the other end of the spectrum... I was out walking my dog today dressed completely in girls clothing, spaghetti strap tank, girls shorts high waist and about mid thigh length, nails painted, long hair down, but no bra on out of being in a rush to get my dog outside so she didn't pee all over the floor.

Some douche called me out, out loud to no one but me and himself, saying "What the ? That's a dude... Oh, did I say that out loud" just because he needed me to hear it.

I gave him the finger and went on my way, but seriously screw people like him.

We should be able to dress how we want and not have to give a crap if we make people like him uncomfortable, even if we don't look 100% female. I really think it's ridiculous that we have to pass just to not hear comments like that.

[susan54]

I have to disagree with Vicky Scot about Scotland. I have frequently gone out shopping and dining as a man in a skirt sometimes with heels and tights, sometimes with ballet pumps. Mostly no reaction but all the reaction I have had was positive. Same when my nails are painted. Best feedback is when I am completely dressed and women say they love my outfits and envy my legs.

[phylis anne]

when s/a's in particular ask me ,why are you buying womens jeans ? etc I usually reply that they fit better than mens which in my case they do

[deebra]

SexySarah, your last paragraph in thread 12 stated very nicely how we all feel, thanks for saying it.

BTW, I was in DSW yesterday walking through out the store looking at women's shoes, the twenty something SA came over and asked if I was shopping for my wife, my reply was "no, it's for me", she just smiled and walked away. I found a couple of pair, tried them on and walked in them. I was dressed in a thong, thigh highs sheer hose, tight boot cut girl jeans with a tank top that covered the glitter on the rear pockets. I blended perfectly, enjoyed being out dressed andro-feminine and shopping and trying on girl clothes. I always wear hose when shoe shopping, I have had nosey SA's stop by for a closer look when I am trying on girl shoes and it's kinda neat seeing their faces when they see I am wearing hose, it's like all their questions have been answered, everything is fine; now let's move on. If he's into girl clothes no big deal.

[Jaylyn]

I've been noticing a lot of guy jeans especially the denim jeans are sewing little decorations on the hip pockets. Maybe a little at a time girl n men's fashions are intermingling. I'm definitely ok with it, just wish I was younger to see where it goes.

[Alice Torn]

Sarah, I just shows there are always some who will be offended, and it is not totally safe anywhere. I know that if i went to my local small town mechanic shop, where a guy i knew from high school is the head mechanic, a good mechanic, does not over charge. But, he, and the other guys there would not like it if i showed up with my vehicles in women's clothes. It would not be a pleasant experience, as i have heard a lot of sexual joking there,, bunch of good ol boys. A dresser needs to be cautious about place to present, yet.

[Alexa CD]

That's so true Alice. Couldn't agree more.

[Lululover]

I wear women's jeans all the time in male mode. Super skinny on the weekend. I'm slowly going out in my town wearing yoga pants. I mostly get looks from 18- 30 year old girls. Nobody else really says anything. I went to a mall shopping wearing leggings with my wife. The only people that kept walking behind me to look at me were the SA's in Victoria Secrets. Go figure! I think they were talking to each other in their headsets that they wear. My next quest is leggings and my Ugg boots! My favorite outfit.

[ReineD]

In today's society

This is the issue, Deebra. You cannot put "today's society" all in one category. Society is made up of individuals and no matter where you are, there will be people who will object, people who will be neutral, and people who will support.

In some places, there will be more supportive people than the neutrals or objectors, for example if you're at a LGBT club. In other places, say a diner in a small town in the South, there will be more objectors than neutrals. And in other places, say downtown in a hip urban area like San Francisco, there will be more neutrals with fewer objectors. And for the most part, the objectors will keep their opinions to themselves (they'll perhaps only stare if they do notice) and you will not know what they think. If you do not notice that they stare, then you will be OK.

So it really all depends on where you plan on going out, and how much you notice if others notice.

As to presenting as a man while wearing a few items of female clothing (if they are visibly female items like heels, makeup, feminine-looking tops, etc) vs presenting all-out as a female, I don't think there is much difference. Both will be read as males and people will be free to make of it what they will, unless of course the crossdresser passes 100% as a natal female. But, if you wear female items of clothing that are unisex (plain jeans, unisex sandals, some tops like plain Tshirts, etc), then people will not know they are female items of clothing particularly and you will be unnoticed.

[Tina_gm]

Thanks Reine for saying what I was going to say. Nothing like mental plageurism :tongueout. One thing I would add, is that I think it goes over easier with younger people than older people. Whether it is considered experimentation or what I don't know. One day in my area, at a dollar store, there was a young kid, maybe 20 and he had significant feminine expression. Especially his very long almond shaped and differently painted nails. There were a few other people in line, and I did not notice anyone really paying it a whole lot of attention. If the clerk was say 50....? I would say this would be more cross gender expression as he was wearing the basic store semi uniform thing. I think that had a 50something been doing the same, it would have been not as accepting to both younger and older people. I am not saying it is right, or fair.... but I think when the younger ones do so, it is not as disturbing to many.

[NancySue]

Sorry, not around here. midwest. Lots of hypocrisy. I'm convinced there are many, many of us out there, but the social and economic consequences would be severe if "outed". Sad...really sad.

[Tina_gm]

I am in quite a similar situation NancySue, but my overall geographical location suggests I shouldn't. I live in a weird pocket surrounded by more tolerance in the northeast, but this 3 county or so area is moving backwards and quite rapidly at that. I can't say it would be absolutely devastating, but generally, if I were to change my style to be more fem like, begin wearing some fem clothing mixed with a male presentation, overall, it would not go over well. I think that for those who are younger, and pretty much present themselves as who they are, there is some acceptance. But of someone who does a mid course correction in life, not so much.

[Tina81]

I have noticed a guy wearing a kilt in the supermarket. The following week it was a knee-length skirt. A few double takes and longer glances then people went about shopping. The heat index was 101 so I think most women thought it was more comfortable, much cooler than shorts as I noticed a few women in skirts as well.

[SexySarah0727]

Kilts seem to be an exception to the rule and tend to look a bit more utility oriented in design than women's skirts.

There's a brewery that just opened up near me that has a uniform of kilts and polo shirts with their logo for all the guys who work there. All the guys that I've seen there seem to be very burly masculine guys though. Can't imagine too many people giving them a hard time about wearing a skirt.

[Alice Torn]

Nancy, Gendermutt. I also live in a conservative midwestern Illinois smaller town area, and i do not think it is safe for me to strut around here all dolled up. Lots of testosterone filled rednecks, farm boys around here would not go for that, nor the women. I decided to go to a small town city band concert just 15 miles form me, but went in drab for the first time, as i thought about going as Alice, but time was short, so went in guy clothes. Good thing i did! Many good ol boys hangin around the area, many young families, and old couples, and i needed to bring a lawn chair, which i did not have. As a guy, i felt looked on, as"the loner". There was, however, a friendly cat, that befriended me there, and it was so thin, and so i went and bought if food, and water. It spent the whole concert with me. If I had gone to the small town concert as Alice, it would have been highly uncomfortable, with no place to sit, around very conservative midwest small towners. I won't go there as Alice. I will go to the university city 40 miles away, where attitudes are mostly tolerant.

[Robin414]

Absolutely, the only barrier to me going out in skinny jeans, heels, and a purse is ME (mind you, no 'guy' would want to see himself on you tube getting the living crap beaten out of him by a woman 😉 )

[deebra]

ReineD, good thread, you explain it very well, but for me I just love wearing the tight girly clothes so I'm going to continue wearing them and deal with it. The pleasure it brings out weighs the bad, just wouldn't want to run into some one I know. I'm like 100% certain I enjoy and get more out of wearing the clothes in public than a GG.

[Alice Torn]

Deebra, I think it is a great thrill for us CD's wearing the clothes,. but almost boring for GG's.

[Taylor186]

I agree with ReineD's comments, and I will add it also depends on who you are in the community in which you live. If you are the local bank president or judge or mayor or business executive or business owner or minister or the like, you will receive scrutiny that the anonymous Wall*Mart shopper won't.