Time to Stir the Pot,,,,

[STACY B]

Cruising around the site and observing everyone and everything like always,, And cruising face book a lot and seen some old faces from here as well,, I wasn't surprised that they live in the Right gender now and I am Happy for them. So you see there is a light at the end of this, Not only here but in Life.

Stir the Pot is referring to how slow the Boards have been at least to me,, Guess it's a Lull right now as that happens from time to time. See some new faces on this side, And some old ones too.

Noticed something of an Analogy with something else that I have seen that kinda sums this whole deal up,,And it is the Gym,, You see people go in and get all Gun Ho with working out and everything is great and all of sudden they are Gone,, Kinda like here,, We all have excuses me and you of why we are here and then gone and they are all Good ones. But like the Gym this whole Transition thing is about Hanging in there No Matter what.

You don't walk into the Gym and work out for Days,Weeks, And get THE BODY,, Takes years, So Transition is not any different, And the older you are just like working out the longer it takes, So hang in there and take it one day at a time and you will make it no matter what you have to over come to get there.

Hell I am at the Tip Top of the excuse list and can give you 1000's of reasons why NOT,, But just one to Do it,, Can do,, Will do,, Must do it,, So how ever you get there doesn't matter as long as you get there in one piece . Just me thinking into the Box again,, Maybe one person will get something out of it and learn from it and realize where there at and where they want to be? Trust me,, If This Goof ball can do it anyone can,,,lol,,,

[KymberlyOct]

Funny you should mention the lull on this site Stacy I was thinking about that the past few days. I have only been on here just short of 3 months but I noticed the drop off in the last week or so but figured like most things in life the activity ebbs and flows. One thing I have commented on is that far more people read these threads than actually post. What a great time for someone that has been a reader but not posted to do so. You would probably get a lot of replies right now. Being a participant is much better than being a spectator - you will get more out of it and if you are still closeted how would anybody ever find out? So jump in !!

[Beth-Lock]

I noticed the lull too. Are some who used to post here, trying to disappear into stealth mode, because of the persecution in the real world, plus knowing you can often be identified, when you try and use the Internet, feeling though not really being, anonymous? Lack of guarantees of or lack of respect for privacy, will do that, even if they think it will not matter to them, only to those who post. But it does, if few post,and mostly post bland things, so, even the anonymous ones who don't post, will have nothing much to see on-line.

Specifically, I do not see the user names at the left side of posts, of very many fire-brands who used to post here, and make it perhaps a little too exciting at times.

Perhaps, I am just too fixed in my ways to really want to quit coming here, but then even with me, nothing lasts for ever.

I even at one time, tried to run my own website, about the problems that one can get into post-SRS, interested in them when I was still at the stage when i could have anything done about them. That was advanced thinking at the time. In those days, the standard advice was that after SRS, all your problems were solved, and you did not need any further counselling. We now know this is wrong, and today, most up-to-date counselors recommend it continue a year or two after SRS, just in case issues crop up. These issues can become a burning matter of intense distress. . What happened to that website? Someone got though to the web hosting company, (they are not funding support of a website owner in a battle for free speech are they -- they are a business not a charity) and it ended up with all the material created and posted, over a period of a year or two, lost. I had no copies, but then, where would I have posted them?

So, being exciting and thinking ideas not yet accepted, and being as most new ideas are, unpopular, is not anything you are likely to see on the internet, are they?

At times, I threatened to only post articles on "How many pink panties are enough?" -- in the CD section. But I got over that phase. Though I did post something almost as shallow on a website of my own, years ago.

Anyway, I have been posting, right through the three stages, CD, transition and post-transition adjustment, but not always cautiously, or making a lot of sense. And through it all, I have been much helped by this website. So something is going right.



. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "You left me just when I needed you most !"

[Nigella]

The time of year, for the majority of the membership, also plays a big part on their participation.

Transition is a marathon, not a sprint.

[arbon]

From the title I was thinking this was going to be a much more exciting thread! :)

It does, always has, ebbed and flowed here.

There are relatively few transitioning women on this forum. Those that are not transitioning are leery of posting to much here for good reason.
Once women do transition most don't stick around. Which is understandable as they have moved on in their lives as women and don't need it anymore. Something I have felt a lot over the years is that being trans gets very old, and being here it is all about trans. I often wonder why I still hang out here.
Actually I am retiring from this forum at 2,000 posts and you wont see me here again. It just seems like a nice even break off point. So I need to be conservative about what I post.

[Zooey]

While I recently broke to respond to a couple of specific things, I have been trying to take a break from this place (at least from the "other side" of this place).

There are a lot of men here that frustrate me to no end, but trying to make them understand is like trying to tell a blind person to accurately describe a new statue from 100 yards away without touching it. It just isn't likely to happen, and it's at least partially because in most cases they can't possibly get it. So, it's a waste for everybody, and I don't need to be wasting that kind of time in my life.

[Lauri K]

Posting meaningful thoughts and experiences takes time and effort, lately I have taken a backseat on many things to as I just fail to see my messages aligning with a large group.

Often times I end up PM'ing members for support or private discussion because so many issues become quite contentious or end up on the fringes of the yellow ribbon rules of the forum. So I just don't have time for arguing my point over and over with someone that is out of touch with trans issues.

I often wonder to my self if the forum will remain the same or alternatively if it will evolve into something more....time will tell.

I think in recent months everything trans related took on a whole new persona due to all the things going on around us, or at least that was how I try to explain it to others. Things got complicated fast with all the press (good and bad).

I still enjoy the forum and have no plans to leave anytime soon, but I must say my patience for dealing with nonsense rebuttals to my posts has faded away.

There was recently a thread over in another section where a closeted member was giving firm bathroom instructions out to other member's to follow...... but the poster had never been out of their own house...........Great advice NOT

I am focusing on issues that affect me, but I still enjoy threads like "$1000 Car Purchase, Trunk Was Full of Pretty Panties"

We all need a good laugh some-days.......

[pamela7]

Doesn't it also depend on your ability to respond to repeating subjects. Eventually you've seen 'em all, or it feels like it, and there's less I'm motivated to respond.

The waiting is interminable here in the UK, probably over the pond also to some extent. So we have to focus on life, on other things, as a coping strategy during the waiting. It means being on here less. I think it's also a good reality check. "If i'm not surrounded by the groupthink of transitioning, do I still feel and think the same?"

I mean, we're facing down the gun-barrels of ww3 and this is a high-class, first-world problem, where I can bury my head and pretend it's not all happening [this is not a political point, just my worldview.]

Speaking of the gym, going 3 times a week to get the body right pre-anything-else.

xxx Pam

[ClaudineD]

After transition I did disappear....kept an occasional interest.....now more online, as have been helping with a CD/TG/TS youth group at a local church lending advice and directing them to seek therapisst for the expert approach.
I then told them of this site.....told them....be inquisitive.....be respectful....gain knowledge of the muli-levels of approaches by MTF & FTM (for which there are two in the current group).....have had some interesting discussions with them
on the content they encounter....and try to explain why there are SOOOOO many levels...

[Mirya]

I always thought it was interesting and maybe a bit odd that a website called "crossdressers.com" would have several transsexual forums.

The only reason I ever stumbled onto this site myself is that I used to think of myself as a crossdresser, until I realized I'm actually a transsexual and started transitioning. For some reason I've decided to keep checking the various subforums at this site and see what people (both CD and TS) have to say. Sometimes I find it interesting to hear different perspectives.

[Rianna Humble]

:angry:There is absolutely no reason for this site not to be as inclusive as the owners wish it to be.:Angry3:

[becky77]

I guess someone needs to start a thread worthy of good debate.

Most of us are fed up with people interjecting on a subject they have no experience in, gets tiring after a while and you give up.
There really are so few TS that come through looking for introspection.

It's a very good point about it being a CD forum and maybe TS don't realise we have a section here. However I think it's a good place to find and help those that lost their way thinking they was a CD, it's just difficult speaking to those few without genuine CDs thinking they are some how excluded.

I stay for now because when I came here needing guidance it was available, does often feel like a thankless task.
Sometimes i just want to say screw this I have far less drama in real life than on this forum.

[Rachel Smith]

I am still here just in case someone can use the knowledge I have gained. Don't post much anymore because although I check in almost everyday what I have to contribute has already been said. That being said I am thankful for all the help and knowledge I received from others when I first joined the site and was scared to type I think I am transsexual let alone say it, my how times have changed :).

Hugs
Rachel

[KymberlyOct]

Most of the regular posters have been on here awhile. I think I probably post more than most of the newbies. I like to think most of my posts are thought provoking but can only assume that my experiences and questions are not unique and are probably old news to most of you.

All of that said having those of you around that have been there / done that is very helpful. This forum cannot and should not be the only support or source of introspection for those transitioning and yet it has been a significant help for me in moving my mindset and transition forward. Both from a perspective of advice and providing seeds for introspective thought.

I know at some point most people outgrow this and that is understandable but I hope that those of you that no longer really need this place continue to spend a little time here. Some of us find you very helpful. I hope in the future that I pay it forward when I am the one with the vast depth of knowledge and experience. :battingeyelashes: Ok I laid it on a little thick at the end to be funny, but many of you are very helpful and I hope you continue to spend a little time here.

[PretzelGirl]

Ah, the regular ebb and flow of posting. It seems to go that way. Everyone out laying in the sun.

I once thought I was going to quit the Hotel California....errrr... forum, but just couldn't do it.

So I will help with the traffic. It is about the right time for a planned thread.

[Tommie.]

i guess no one else is having the problem but as of a month ago i started having extreme adware and malicious web connections particularly here... maybe someone else has too... warnings were coming in that the site was contaminated but i have very little knowledge in the area. also it is summer time just before school is starting and some people are getting in the last vacations i have heard around here... anyway i certainly missed hearing from posters here asnd very glad to be back.

[MissDanielle]

I still read threads, maybe a few days a week, but I'm mostly hanging out at reddit these days when I'm not trying to get my social life back to where it needs to be.

[Rianna Humble]

i guess no one else is having the problem but as of a month ago i started having extreme adware and malicious web connections particularly here...

Malicious software, such as you had or have on your computer will often pop up spurious warnings on known clean sites. There is no companionware on any part of this site. I maintain two sites used by my employers for connecting to computers that have various IT issues in order to sort them out. Guess what the malware pop-ups say when customers try to access one of those two sites.