Using Male Gender Credit Cards And Restrooms/Toilets Enfemme

[Girly Sara]

Hi girls,

Off the back of my other thread regarding my forthcoming first shopping trip, i'm hoping some of you more seasoned shoppers could help me please?

Could people tell me whether they use credit/debit cards in their male name whilst dressed enfemme? I hope this doesn't sound like a daft question to ask when you're presenting yourself as female. I'm under no illusions that sales assistants are going to think i'm a real girl (as much as i'd love that to be the case) I'd obviously take some cash with me just in case. So what are your views please girls?

Also, when you're out shopping and need the loo, do you use the ladies' or a disabled restroom/toilet? I'd personally only wish to use the ladies', (a) because i'm presenting myself as female and (b) it would be unfair to use a facility for a genuine disabled person.

Your feedback on these subjects would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Sara xxxx

[linnea]

Hi Sara,
I don't think that your questions are daft in the slightest. Last weekend, I went shopping dressed en femme and I wanted to use my credit card that has my femme name on it, but when I was asked for ID I was stuck using my male ID because I don't have femme ID. When I was asked, I hesitated and stammered a bit about it being awkward for me; she caught on and let me go without the ID. Most of the time, I try to have cash for payment. However, I would love to have femme picture ID that I could use. I would like to know (and plan to find out) the legality of this.
On the use of the loo or rest room, when I'm en femme, I usually use the women's rest rooms. Since they always have private stalls in them, I feel pretty confident that I won't be putting someone else or myself into an awkward or embarassing situation. nonetheless, I'm pretty cautious and in some circumstances I just hold off as best I can to avoid using any toilet until I'm back to male garb or back home where I have certain privacy. Again, I'm not sure of the legality of doing this. While there is no law against a man wearing women's clothes, there may be a statute prohibiting men, whether en femme or not, using a women's toilet facility. Maybe someone else knows.
I hope that my comments help a little. Good luck with your en femme shopping. I hope that it is wonderful!

[Charlene Marie]

Hi Sara, I dont know about the UK honey, but over here I find sales clerks seldom even glance at my credit card. Besides, up close and If I have to speak I'm not pasing anyway. I've never had a problem, in a dept. store or a resturant.

As for using the loo, that depends. I use the ladies room in the resturants I'm very familiar with, because I check them out beforehand. I prefer the ladies room because they have stalls. I can sit down and if someone should pop in I can wait till they are gone. I used the mens restroom once in that sports bar resturant I was in because I figured I wasnt passing anyway and I didn't want to piss anyone off. As I was walking in a elderly gentleman was walking out and he looked at me and said: "Oh, no Miss. this is the Mens room" so I thanked him and went to the Ladies room. Ive never used a restroom in a shopping mall, just too many opportunities for trouble.

[julie w]

hi sara
I have a second low limit credit card that has my initials and last name
so I can use it en femme or male with my regular signiture , its also handy for useing it places where I dont want to use my gold card , as for the
washrooms I keep a bottle in the car in case I think the wash room is
too busy or risky julie

[randi_789]

Just curious how you do that. Without getting graphic, how do you manage to release yourself from pantyhose, panties, and any other undergarments needed for shaping, as well as skirt or pants, to relieve yourself into a bottle. You risk being caught for indecent exposure. I think using the ladies room would be less risky.

[Jasmine Ellis]

Cash only dear.

[Jodi]

I use my credit card with my male name all the time when dressed enfemme. Never had a problem. One time several years ago, I was shopping in Express en femme. The SA helping me knew me so it was no big deal to shop and try on. When it came time to pay, Lori, the SA, said to go over to the register and Mary will take care of you. I handed Mary my credit card, and she asked for ID. I just smiled and said "you're going to love this" as I handed her my drivers license with my male pic on it. She did a double take, and her jaw dropped. I looked over at Lori, and she was laughing. So--I guess on that day, I must have passed pretty well.

As for the restroom, I will look for a unisex gender room if available. I have these scouted out beforehand at places where I usually shop. If not, I use the ladies room. Get in, get done, and get out.

Jodi

[Sharon]

I have a credit card in my fem name that is a second user on my male card. I've never been asked for another form of ID when I have used it.

As for the restroom, I have only ever used one person bathrooms, avoiding any possible conflicts. If necessary, however, I am prepared to use the ladies room since I think I would fare better there than the men's room, no matter whether I am passing or not.

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

Hi girls,

Off the back of my other thread regarding my forthcoming first shopping trip, i'm hoping some of you more seasoned shoppers could help me please?

Could people tell me whether they use credit/debit cards in their male name whilst dressed enfemme? I hope this doesn't sound like a daft question to ask when you're presenting yourself as female. I'm under no illusions that sales assistants are going to think i'm a real girl (as much as i'd love that to be the case) I'd obviously take some cash with me just in case. So what are your views please girls?

Also, when you're out shopping and need the loo, do you use the ladies' or a disabled restroom/toilet? I'd personally only wish to use the ladies', (a) because i'm presenting myself as female and (b) it would be unfair to use a facility for a genuine disabled person.

Your feedback on these subjects would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Sara xxxx


Hiya Sarah...

The Credit Card problem, as far as I know technically using your Credit Card whilst dressed femme, with your actual male name named on it, is a bit risky. If a shop challenged you about your card, then in theory they have every right to have you for card fraud! especially if you are fairly passable dresser.. I am not sure, but maybe on suspition of Fraud they might be able to retain your card as your card funnily enough isn't your property at all, it's property of the issuer a bank, building society or financial institution.

If you want to go shopping ensure you can get to a cashpoint or better still go to your atm dressed male and get the cash... and the next day go shopping... much easier... far less fuss...


Ok this question I have dealt with before about rest rooms. Best advice from my personal experience is if you have to go, then go... the good thing about these toilets is they have cubicles, walk in calmly go straight into a cubicle and lock the door. After finishing ensure seat is down, as if up might lead the next occupier to think somethings a bit odd.. ok.. come out, say nothing just look to the hand basin or washer and clean hands.. time all this into a comfortable minimal time then leave with minimum fuss... whatever you do do not, i repeat do not loiter fo any reason.... leave as soon as your done ok.. I was stopped by a policeman once coming out a toilets... I told him i frequently used the place and the cleaner woman actually knew me, so he didn't retain me.. getting a decent reference like a cleaner in a set toilets in town is a safe bet... ok


Regards

Melissa

[mskilmer]

Can't speak for the UK, but here in the States I've not had a problem using my male credit card while dressed fem. I just make sure I have signed the back ... I discovered that if there's no signature on the back of the card, the clerk is supposed to ask for photo identification. I was told that some people do not sign the back of the card because they WANT the clerk to check it, in case they lose it. As far as having a male name on it ... my wife has one of my cards with my name on it and she uses it with no problem. I don't think of this as a big issue.

The loo ... I always use the ladies but, as someone else suggested, I get in, get done, and get out as efficiently as possible. So far no problems. But I'm always a bit uncomfortable.

[Joanna0909a]

I make it a practice to have enough cash with me to cover any expenses when I am out dressed. Only one time have I used a male credit card and that was at a cosmetics counter. I knew it would be expensive, but I went well over budget. (The technician did a make over on me and it was wonderful - she knew - I told her - and she was very understanding. Anyway, i figured at that point I had little to lose, so I use the AMEX. There were no issues. But like I said, I try to use cash.

As for the restrooms - I do as many, use it only when necessary (Like the time my thigh highs were falling off) and get in and get out. I follow this policy because I was stopped by a police man in a ladies room - a crabby clerk called him in - and he asked me to leave. I was undone for weeks! But it sure made me more careful. Good luck on this one. In fact, in NC I think it is illegal for a CD to use the ladies room, but Anne Landers always said if you are dressed like a lady, and acting like a lady, use the ladies room. So...

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Don't worry, Sara they're both reasonable questions.

I can't speak for the UK, but here in the States I've never had a problem using my credit card. And the signature is smeared, so I often get asked to show ID regardless of what I'm wearing. The only reaction when this has happened in femme is the clerk will say "that's you."

As far as toilets, a single-stall bathroom is obviously the safest. The issue of using toilet for the disable actually came up with the NY Times ethics column and the ethicists argued it was perfectly fine to do because (unlike a parking space) any delay you cause will be minimal. (Although obvious if there's a disabled person waiting to use it, they get first dibs.)

If you do use the women's toilet, just go in, do you business (making sure your feet are pointing the right way), wash your hands and get out. It's generally not a good idea to hang out and make conversation. On the off chance someone does make an issue, just let them know you didn't mean to intrude, but you needed to pee and it's not safe for you to use the men. But be prepared to leave if necessary.

To Randi's question, with many hip pads you can sit down and pull the bottom of the panties aside to pee. If you're interested in getting a Veronia 2, there's a version that's got a partial zipper, which I highly recommend, since it's quite useful for these situations. Also it helps to wear stockings and a garter belt rather than pantyhose, since that's one less thing to have to get out of the way.

[PennieS]

I always use my credit cards however i am dressed, I was once asked for an Id and the clerk did give me a double take but no questions asked. My hair is long on my Id, but I definetly look different without makeup. Plus when dressed I always use the ladies room and never had a problem. Take a look arround gals, there are a lot of homely and really ugly real women out there who don't often look as good as we do. So dressed as a lady, use the Ladys room.

[BrendaB GG]

there are a lot of homely and really ugly real women out there who don't often look as good as we do. So dressed as a lady, use the Ladys room.

Didn't realize that looks were a criteria. I hope that when you do use the ladies room that you are not judged in this manner.
Brenda

[Roxane]

Hi Sara

I think now that using your pin number is a must. Most shops don’t even look at the signature at all! (not that many of them did before)

So what I would suggest is take some cash and if they question your card pay cash.

Hugs Rox’s
x

[Deborah_UK]

I posted this link some months ago for the benefit of UK girls, given the question has come up again, perhaps its time to link again, from the Northern Concord website.

http://www.northernconcord.org.uk/Police-Sense%202.htm

[renee k]

Hi Sara,

I've always used the womens restroom when out, without a problem . I just go in do my business and wash up and leave. As for credit cards. I do have one with my feme name, and I carry cash as well. Like Charlene Marie, when I speak the voice sometimes gives me away, oh well such is life. In the end it all boils down to the duck theory. Judging from your pictures who shouldn't have any problems passing. Just dress to blend in and not stand out. And always smile back at those who give you a glance. My guess is you won't have any problems at all.

Huggs, Renee

[Girly Sara]

Hi girls!

Thank you very much for your kind feedback on the issues i've raised. As this will be my first shopping trip enfemme, i want it to go as smoothly as possible. I guess i have the advantage of having my girlfriend with me too for the added support.

I don't know about anyone else but i'm always looking at the worst case scenario with the shopping experience. However, i'm going to do my damned hardest to enjoy it because at the end of the day, i'm just being me and needing to express my feminine side further.

Have a lovely weekend girls and thanks again.

Hugs from Sara xxxx

[Barbara B]

Hi Sara,

I have a second credit card in my femme name on my male acount and as for my everyday bank account I simply went into the bank and asked for the gender to be removed from the card details. I was asked why I wanted "Mr" removed and simpled stated that sometimes I wasn't "Mr" and the bank assistant seemed happy with the answer and they issued me a new card. Barb

[julia louise]

Hi Sara

I too have a second credit card for Julia on my male account and have been using it without problems for the last three years.....it is a Mastercard issued by Marbles and you could get one here in the UK easily. As pin numbers are now essential here you don't even have to remember which signature to produce.

As for the toilets or rest rooms I have only ever used the female ones when dressed whether they be public ones in a shopping centre, bars, restaurants or railway stations. They are usually much nicer anyway.....especially if you go to some of the big department stores. Be confident (even if you're not!) and bold, look people in the face and smile prettily.......you'll get away with anything.....well almost!

Have fun....Julia xx

[Sam-antha]

In the Uk, with Chip and Pin, there is no need for the assistant to handle your card.
If you think that someone might need to, then just ask the issuer to change the given name to the initial and to eliminate the "Mr". Ask is perhaps wrong, "tell" is the intention. You are the customer.
Loos, either does, but on the train, the disabled is preferred. There is so much more room in there, and the mirror is full length and broad. Plenty of floor space too.
Take note of the Northern Concorde reference given above by Deborah. It makes good reading for rather more than the loo.

[Denise01]

I try to have enough cash with me when I am shopping femme so that I do not need to use my credit card.
Bank debit cards are getting to be a big thing where i live, and if I did run short of cash, i would use the debit card, as all you need to know is your pin number, and no name is on the card at all.
As for the rest room issue, when i am out femme, I control my fluid intake, so that I hope i do not need to use it.
If I do, I try to find one for families or handicap, which are uni-sex and you can lock the door.
One night when dining out, i did need the rest room badly, was totally femme so used the ladies room. I went in, did what i had to do, washed up quickly and left. Fortunately for my peace of mind no one came in while I was there

Denise

[lydia7]

There has been good advice provided here, but I couldn't resist chiming in with my advice too!

1. Carry cash in your purse, and use that whenever possible. Be sure to shave your well-manicured hands.
2. Go the the License Bureau after "losing" your old ID, and get a replacement Photo taken when dressed enfemme or as androgynous as possible. Long hair and lips are the key. Go early in the day.
3. If you are seriously in transition, get your middle name changed to a passable one (ie: Kelly, Taylor, Stacy, Francis, Jean, etc.) which gives you the ability to use it for real, but only when needed.
4. get a CC with the new middle name issued. You must not make up a fake person for credit cards, especially in the time of ID fraud, etc. It must be you and your name.
5. When signing, use the name as it appears on the card. (T. Kelly Smith, etc.)
6. Get as many forms as you can with your new name (2nd cards of course) and/or femme photo, to fill your new wallet.

Voila!

Basically, I know what it is like to completely re-invent yourself and get another set of every card/ID/verification. Basically, do this and you get both a legal representation of yourself (except the M/F part), and the versions of ID fit the presentation.

Hint: a bit of natural cleavage showing smooths over 95% of any question or awkwardness that may come up...assuming that you present as generally passable.

0.02

[Sarah Coleman]

I don't go out, except on Halloween, so I usually don't have to worry about using the credit cards. Using the facilities is another story, though. I read where a 70-year old TG was arrested for using the women's room at Grand Central. Best bet is to use a unisex restroom or carry a wide-mouth plastic bottle.

[PTPJen]

Hi,

For whats it's worth, several Years ago I called most of my credit card compines and explained that I was a CD and wanted an Additionl Card issued with only my first initials and last name. Every company complied without any problems.

Using the Ladies room, I think if you pass good, if you don't find a place that has a single person restroom, or a only restroom and use that other than that get into the ladies room into the tolit and then out quick.

[Denise_Z]

If your signature matches the one on the back of the card, there is no reason you should ever have to show ID.

[Anita Mae GG]

Sara,
Use the ladies room. I was in the bathroom when a crossdresser came in and I was not uncomfortable. I don't think the average woman would be either. There are stalls for privacy and they would be so intrigued just by bumping into you that they probably would forget that you were in the ladies room LOL

[Girly Sara]

Hey girls!

Just wanted to thank the girls for their additional comments which will help me very much.

Three days to go before my first ever shopping trip ladies and i'm soooo nervous!

Sara xxxx

[Wendy me]

well i just got a new c' card at jc penney's and i have a few at outher stores and i listed "WENDY" as a user on the cards all the cards are in "his" name and 99% of the time "he" will be useing them but it's just cool that Wendy is on the card ... i was thinking of getting a non driver state id for her......on most of my cards i have see id please on the cards wendy might use thay just have "his" signature...

[Deidra Cowen]

I use my guy credit cards often while shopping enfemme. By that time the sales clerk has heard my guy voice so its 'game over' anyway on an attempt to pass.

On the restrooms I use them all the time at gay clubs...no biggie. But I have only used the ladies room a handful of times out in 'normal' enviroments like resturants. Way too chicken to use one at a mall. I try to hold it till I get home! LOL

Here is a pic of me getting ID'ed at a convience store and I had handed my guy Drivers Lisence to the clerk.

[JoAnnDallas]

A couple of times I have used my sister's credit card. I even signed it using her name. She has this habit which I have pointed out to her is a bad one of giving her grand child, wife, and me her credit card to use.

[Girly Sara]

Loving the pic Deirdra! :)

Sara xxxx