Finally had that conversation with SO

[Emma or Darren]

So I posted a while ago titled Brushed under the carpet. My son has been pushing the subject to get is to talk about it.
Last night I asked my wife if she wanted to talk but she declined and said tomorrow so weve just had the talk I was 100% honest and finally things are better.
She admitted thats how she deals with things by ignoring them until theres no choice but to deal with it.
She understands that crossdressing makes me a happier person but doesnt want to see it so DADT it is she also doesn't want me to be unhappy. She doesn't want us to split but cant see me in the same way and see's me to be a different person to the one she married. She has pointed out in her words ive had 40 odd years to make sense of this shes had 40 days so will take time to come to terms with is which she has stated is her problem not mine. She also pointed out what had bothered her was after coming out she noticed changes like shaved hands and growing my hair which I can see was a bit insensitive of me but the thought hadn't occurred to me so I think leg chest and hair remove can wait whilst it all sinks in.
She asked what I want from her I said my ultimate goal would be shopping buddies but can accept DADT .
Would just like to say thank you to all of you this forum is what helped me accept its who I am all though I think I've become a little obsessive I read this forum probably twice daily (due to time difference ) and way more than my facebook
Lots of love
Emma xx

[bridget thronton]

Glad the talk went well - hope things continue well as you move forward

[Dana44]

That is great. There are a couple of persons on this site that it started with DADT and got better from there. So, communications is good and take things slow.

[suzanne]

It's a wonderful sign that, so early on, she recognized that dressing makes you a happier person and maybe even a better husband (my own inference). I agree that there's a chance she will soften her position and get more comfortable in time. But I have seen from others in this forum that it takes place at HER pace only, and your pushing the subject faster than she is willing has bad consequences. Best of luck. We all want to hear about your success.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Hi Emma,

I am in the exact place you are as far as a DADT and wife wanting me to be happy, although we had our talk about 12 years ago. I can say that it is a day to day situation about her gradual acceptance, and sometime she will even joke or tease Jenny, but other times be really upset that Jenny is here in our relationship. I wish you good luck and also feel communication will be not only your friend but hers.

[Lorileah]

Your goal is to be shopping buddies? My wife would have replied "why can't we do that without you being dressed up?" Is there a reason you can't shop together now?

[Stephanie47]

My only comment is how you are defining "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." I've stated this many times in other threads. There are visual signs that violate the spirit of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and your wife already pointed some of them out. You shaved the back of your hands. You're growing your hair out. Women will notice these changes. "DADT" also includes visual images. I've read in other threads. "Shave your legs if you want, she'll never notice." Bunk!

Hope you and your wife can sort it all out.

[Angie G]

By all means take ot SLOW Emma. There was a few things my wife didn't care for but now is okey with. I dress 100% even makeup now and then.And we are shopping buddies to the MAX she even buys things for me when I not with her. Hang in there girl and best wishes hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Emma or Darren]

" Is there a reason you can't shop together now?

It depends on the purpose of shopping I need to tread carefully where girly things are involved
Thank you all your kind comments totally happy taking it slow Emma still needs to fully evolve as I'm still learning so no point steaming ahead.
Emma xx

[rachelatshop]

Stephanie, You are right we often are two quick to just use the term DADT when describing a relationship when we should say that our relationship is type of or form of the DADT relationship then define what the terms of our relationship are. because of each DADT relationship is different.

[TrishaLake]

Sounds like a better conversation, thing might change over time so be open, honest and be you! that is most important.

[NancySue]

Trisha is exactly right. Patience, honesty, time and communication solved our DADT clouds. They're gone. We are both happier than ever. She's still curious and we will honestly discuss her questions. I still sometimes wonder how, why, when, etc. Few answers found. If I don't understand the needs, urges, etc. it doesn't seem fair to expect her to underrated. We just know it's here to stay, we accept it and move on. We make lemonade out of lemons.

[Rosemary+]

Hi Emma
Hope everything works out with you and your wife, as the other ladies have said take it slow and steady. And keep the communication lines open
Rosie