Another little drop of hope, maybe someday it will rain.

[Julie1123]

Just thought I would share this little moment. My fiancee and I will be moving soon and we've started to check things out in the new city. We were looking through a list of theater shows last night and Hedwig and the Angry Inch popped up. She commented, "I hear this one is supposed to be really good." We've had a few of these types of moments, that seem to indicate to me that she is less opposed to crossdressing and transgenderism in general and that the bigger issue might be the embarrassment she feels it would cause if my crossdressing was publicly known. It gives me hope that someday we'll be able to get rid of the DADT agreement. At the very least, we'll get to go see Hedwig together. :D

[docrobbysherry]

Is that about Harrys owl? In any case, l,m wondering how it mite impact your dressing?

[Julie1123]

The first time I heard the name, Harry's owl was the first thing I thought of too. :)

If you're referring to the end of the DADT, it wouldn't impact my overall dressing that much. I'm at a pretty comfortable level with frequency and such. It would be great to be able to talk to the fiancee about fashion and beauty though in regards to myself.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm not trying to rain on your parade (pun fully intended) but chances are better than not that the drought (...another pun!) will continue.

Many here hope/long/dream for a time when their SO will move on from DADT. For many women, this simply isn't in the cards. They have little interest in talking fashion/makeup with their MAN and they certainly cannot stomach the thought of seeing him all dolled up.

I've been there, I totally get it. But having moved on from this mindset years ago, it absolutely eliminated a completely unnecessary stress from my life. I have sooooo moved on. I'm at a point where it would be ME who'd have to get my head around the idea of my wife participating if she were to someday approach me to do so. I'm not so sure I could do so.

[NancySue]

I've experienced your exact dilemma. I told her about my feminine interests before we got married...expecting her to run, but she didn't. At first the DADT was our CDing relationship. I, too wanted her to "help" me with advice, makeup, fashion, etc. With us, the breakthrough came after many talks and reading. I think once she accepted several things, like "it" won't go away, I'm hetro, etc. she did a complete turnaround. She agreed the DADT hindered our relationship. I/we are so much happier now. When she shops, she will often surprise me. Her deal though is "one for you, two for me". Seems fair to me. 😉. I sincerely hope you resolve the DADT issue. You'll both enjoy life better.

[JamieG]

Before I came out to my wife, she suggested we watch film version of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" together. We both liked it, and ended up buying the film on DVD. However, I don't think it softened the blow for when I came out about a year later. It might be a conversation starter, but keep in mind the show/movie does not describe a typical transexual experience, much less that of a crossdresser. That said, my favorite song from the show, "Wig in a Box," does capture the joy of transforming from drab to fab.

[Leslie Langford]

What Sara said, Julie.

I hope your experience is better than mine was last year under similar circumstances...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?226805-Yes-sometimes-quot-karma-quot-can-be-a-real-b*tch-(Warning!-long-post)&highlight=

[CONSUELO]

Some people are just very conservative and feel unhappy in other situations. I hope it works better for you and your fiancée becomes more accepting. At least you are discussing this and not just trying to hide it.

[Lorileah]

:thinking: Not sure that would be the ideal media to convince your SO about allowing you to dress more. The main character is very dysfunctional and angry. Your SO may find that scary

[Michelle_G]

Seems like many wives are ok with other people being TG just not THEIR husband.

[Jenniferathome]

If you are hoping her acceptance will grow without direct conversation, then you will be disappointed. "I hear this one is supposed to be really good." is not an indicator of acceptance of cross dressing. If you can't talk to her about YOU cross dressing, you will see light where you choose to in comments she makes but the dots will not connect.

I'm more optimistic than Sara but even with open conversations, she may never "like" it. And that's ok.

[Sarasometimes]

Since she is a fiancee and not yet your wife be sure you can be happy with the DADT "till death do you part". If you are expecting or feel you will need her to move beyond DADT I would not a firm wedding date. When DADT changes it doesn't always have to be in the direction you are hoping for and although trying for it now may make her an ex-fiancee that may be better than an ex-wife in the future especially if you plan to have a family.
Best of luck, my situation is not one to strive for although it could be worse.