bite your tounge

[Meghan4now]

Lovely morning with my lovely wife, who I adore.

She bought a new eye shadow kit with 4 shades, and was deliberating on if she should use it this AM. But wasn't sure how it was supposed to be blended. (Very attractive shades of blue, not 70s teen girl sky blue mind you) I casually mentioned how it was packaged should show her how, and numbers on the back. She then showed me her new blush, in a cream not powder.

We talked about that and her covereup. Funny, I made some positive comments, but which indicated a little experience. It was a great conversation. But I was smart enough to bite my tongue by NOT saying "Well I like to", or "When I", even though I wanted to. Especially on the cream blush when I thought "hmmm, that would do well as beard cover under my foundation, just add some powder in between layers so it doesn't smear out"

I was loving the conversation. I like being her bestie, as well as her hubby. And I just had to kiss her an extra time or two before leaving.

The only downside was I would have loved to expand the coversation, and play makeup artist with her. But you gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them.....

[Krisi]

I'm assuming she doesn't know about your little "hobby"?

[Meghan4now]

Krisi,

She is well aware, and made a passing comment before I went for my morning run about my hairless legs. Not angry or disgusted, just matter of fact.

But we are in a mostly DADT about it, so direct conversations are fewer and further apart. But this type of indirect conversation seems to help. Or maybe I'm fooling my self. But she was upbeat, and it felt, so good, and so normal.

P.S. she also refers to it as my "Hobby".

[Angie G]

My wife often talk about things like that. I love it and it's not even an issue.:hugs:
angie

[sara66]

I am the same way when discussing clothes with my wife. She asks my opinion, but doesn't like it when I say " I would wear that" or " I would never wear that" We are not in a DADT. we talk only when she is ready.
Sara

[Krisi]

You do have to know when to talk and when not to. And it can vary day by day.

My wife almost never wears makeup so we don't have that conversation.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Meghan,
I feel I know what you're talking about.
I get those type of questions from my SO occasionally too.
She's sat and watched me do my makeup before, asking
"why, or what, are you doing"'questions.
It became a little embarrassing.
It's still fun to be able to give my opinion, or share with her
whatever I may have learned about applying makeup.
On one of our nights out together she asked me to
do her makeup for her. That was really fun, but a whole new
challenge. What works for me, doesn't quite work for her.
Glad to hear you're SO was listening to you.
Every little bit helps!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[nikkiwindsor]

While my wife is supportive of my dressing...we talk about it often. But I haven't showed her any pics or dressed in front of her...too scared! I need to find a way to gently find out if she's willing to be more supportive. I'm biting my tongue and just haven't found a good way to strike up the conversation to go to the next level of acceptance.

[Oria]

You promised to share your life with her. My advice is you put your fear away. Don't wait for the right words.

[JocelynJames]

I find it easy to downplay another's fears if we never encountered or already conquered it. I still haven't met another CD and have only gone out as Joss once and I'm still fearful. Some days I'm like "live life to its fullest" other days I'm like" all in due time"
And I have these conversations with my wife- both giving and getting advise. Last night she advised me to buy several VS bras when they go on sale for the semi annual sale.

[Oria]

I do not want to down play anyone's fear. I am personally terrified by all of it. Every time I talk to my wife I am very scared I will either hurt her or let her loose respect in me. I am only saying that you make a vow to your wife to live life as one. A marriage of hiding and secretes will not likely last. The fear that when you open up to your wife you will end your marriage while real will likely only end your marriage in the long run. This is my personal belief but has proven itself true in my life. It may not be true in yours. I am sorry this sounds like judgement. I am a poor writer with an open hart.

[Meghan4now]

Oria,

While I tend to agree that openness in Marriage is best, I also know that a spouse has their limits. If you tell the same old joke too often, she rolls her eyes. If you play thrash metal at volume 11, at 11 at night each night, you'll piss her off. If you flaunt a habit (that she doesn't like) in front of too often, she will get annoyed.

There is a balance and a time and place for everything. I guess what I was getting at is that once in a while we get it right. Maybe not everything we want, but a happy medium.

Oh look at that 1000 posts! I've earned each and every silver hair ;)

[michelleddg]

Independent of the rest of our "tolerant DADT" relationship (you go ahead and do what you need to do, I just don't want to know), my wife and I never discuss girly stuff. Never. She'll show me clothes she's bought, and occasionally ask "should I wear this or this?", but that's it. Works for us. Hugs, Michelle

[Hell on Heels]

Welcome to SILVER status Meghan!
Not overwhelming our SO's with all of this CD stuff
is important, but knowing exactly how much is too much
isn't easy to figure out sometimes, and it's different for each of us.

[JocelynJames]

Lots of good advise from CDs who have been there- but as we all know, every woman and marriage is as complex and different as the next.
Oria,
I think you did well putting it into words how you felt.

[sometimes_miss]

(Very attractive shades of blue, not 70s teen girl sky blue mind you.
Hey, some of us old farts remember those 70's blue eye shadow days very fondly. I still find it attractive, especially on blondes, even if no one else does.

[Jaylyn]

I'm in agreement with several on here. Slow and easy is the way to go. My wife is not just really over joyed about any of my CD but she kind of tolerates it to a degree. The degree she accepts on it is always varying a little. Depends on how she wakes up each day... Lol. I try not to push any over the top dressing but subtle things like panties and tights underdressing. I also promised her I would go out dressed so I have honored that so far. It has been hard because I have wanted to many times, we have even talked about it in San Antonio, Dallas or Austin, but haven't acted upon that yet.
I can relate thigh about your statement of you being the bestie, my wife has ask me questions such as " does Jaylyn think this top match these shorts, or does Jaylyn like my lipstick? Think she is just playing with me but feels good to be asked how Jaylyn feels about things.

[cdterri]

I loved the 70's blue. In fact if I still used makeup I would find some and use it.

[Lori Kurtz]

Hey, some of us old farts remember those 70's blue eye shadow days very fondly. I still find it attractive.

Me too, and I suspect that some of the focuses of my fetishistic crossdressing came from the styles that were popular for young women during the decades of my life when my sexuality (and crossdressing) came into its highest intensity. Sounds like I'm not the only person for whom that's true. Trouble is, as soon as that era has passed, our efforts to achieve that kind of look become counterproductive: the styles we're emulating, regardless of how effectively we might be emulating them, become subtle hints that make people who see us dressed and made up that way think, "Hey ... something doesn't look quite right about that woman." And then they start looking even closer, and they see the other little clues that they might not otherwise have noticed.

[Robin414]

My SO completely tolerates it but we're kinda DADT...we were buying groceries in one of those big box stores that sell everything from BMW clutch plates to...diapers and she needed some cosmetics (me too, and some nail polish, and a new bra, and some clutch pl... 🤔 ).

Anyway, she made a comment, NEVER use waterproof mascara 😠 ....it doesn't wash off!!

Being DADT, I just said, 'Makes sense, duh!'

[Tina_gm]

You hit the nail on the head with this Meghan. Just post reveal, my wife was very uncomfortable going through the women's clothing sections with me, or cosmetics or pretty much female anything related. I took some gg advise about keeping it about her. And just adding little worded like it looks good for "you" makes "your".... ff to now, and she will now drag me in to help her pick out stuff knowing I have a good eye for this stuff, and have the knowledge most guys don't. She let's me do manicures on her, I've shaved her legs..... she now trusts my eye, my opinions.... it turns into bonding moments. And it's a lot of fun for me too.