Am I the only CD who has never knowingly met with another?

[Lena]

My wife and I will be headed to Vegas tomorrow morning and I found myself to be giddy and excited because I am hoping to meet someone like me.

I've lived a sheltered life! I've never knowingly met another CD, TG or TS.

Hell, I'm not even sure what to say if I do met another.

Am I the only one that feels that way?

[Jenniferathome]

No. And you are not the only one to meet with other cross dressers. In fact, I just posted about it here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?241849-Meeting-a-fellow-cross-dresser-again!

Conversation topics are really no different than meeting any stranger except for the cross dressing.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

I havent either, Lena
But im hoping to because it will be fun to go shopping and do girly things together

[Lana Mae]

Lena,
You are not the only one! I would enjoy going out with another CD but not sure how to go about it since do not want to out them either!! Maybe our esteemed other members will inform us. Hugs Lana Mae

[RADER]

I have met with another CDer, how ever we where both in DAB because we met at
a different function where it would have been inappropriate to be dressed.
I was under dressed at least.
Rader

[stacycoral]

I would have to agree with Rader, i was too at the same type of event that i could not have dress, but undressed, i wish i could have worn a ball gown to the big event, but that was not in the picture this time, i hope your really have a great time, If your at the right place everyone will treat you like another girl, i learn that on my night out in Denver several years ago. hugs.

[Alice Torn]

I have only met one other, and we both were in guy mode. I am a bit cautious about meeting other human beings, of any kind.

[Jaylyn]

I have been conversing on messages with other CDs in my area, ( at least an 90 mile away on one and 40 or so away on the other), it's been tempting to meet and go get a cup of coffee. I think I would enjoy meeting and visiting in person, but then I think what would I talk about in person that w,e haven't visited about online.

[Kayla Marie]

Nope same here, although I did see one of the staff wearing a denim skirt at MEC the other day. Does that count?:confused2:

[Tracii G]

I have met other CDers and a lot here have its not unusual.
Just because you are going to Vegas doesn't mean you are going to meet any.
Its pretty much like any other place as far as the general population goes.

[Lena]

I really find it weird because I've offended a lot of my "straight" friends by standing up for tg and ts even though I've never personally met the people I defend.

[Tracii G]

I have too Lena but you know what? You did the right thing we all need to help each other.
I have friends that make fun of anything LGBT and crack stupid jokes and I let them know hey thats not cool they aren't bothering you leave them alone.
I might piss them off for a little while but they get over it.

[countrygirl]

I have never meet with a fellow crossdresser. I have always thought it would be nice to do this however and to be able to talk about the same issues as what I am going through.

[Teresa]

Lena,
Before January this year I had never met another dressed, can you imagine walking into a hotel with forty plus Cders for the first time, I was wearing a full length ballgown, the only one I knew was Carole who found me on this forum and suggested I came along, it's the best thing I ever did , now once a month isn't enough.

Virginia-Mae,
I do have a problem with that comment, meeting as a group is fine but meeting another dressed one to one is something else. I have to get over it, but if people think we're gay I will struggle with that one.
It's a point I was hoping Jenn may answer, how does she deal with that situation ?

[gailprice]

Well I've been Gail for lots of years and I can honestly say no your not the only one I can count on one hand any other cd I've met knowingly. Probably loads I don't know :)

[Lacey New]

Let's face it. We are really few and far between. I've never met another CD'er in person although I have PM'ed a couple who are reasonably local to me and tried to arrange a meeting. We both would have been in drab though. Things just did not work out with schedules. Maybe someday but I'm not interested in pushing the issue and I certainly am not interested in anything other than conversation and camaraderie about our shared interests.

[Jenniferathome]

....

Virginia-Mae,
I do have a problem with that comment, meeting as a group is fine but meeting another dressed one to one is something else. I have to get over it, but if people think we're gay I will struggle with that one.
It's a point I was hoping Jenn may answer, how does she deal with that situation ?

Teresa, I prefer one to one vs groups. I think some like groups for the "strength in numbers" support and anonymity. When I'm out, I will have face to face interactions with the normals so I'm not concerned with either of the preceding. I see meeting another individual in girl mode as no different than in boy mode. I'm meeting a person. Maybe we'll hang out, maybe not. Do people think I'm gay? Maybe. I just don't care. Whether alone or in a group, that is one likely thought passers by might have but how does it affect me? It doesn't. You have been out now several times. In all likelihood, the majority of shop keepers and people on the street probably thought you are gay man. Did it adversely affect your time out? I think not.

In the end, we can not control what people think of us but we can present a good person to the public and let them decide based on that interaction.

[SarahleeNH]

I was in a similar position for nearly 60 years! And then, with reckless abandon, I bought a wig, makeup, purse, shoes, and drove fully dressed in a long gown to a huge cd event near Boston this past year. I talked with many at the event and was on cloud 9 (even though I felt almost shunned by a few, as I have a full beard). But I will never forget the feelings I felt, nor the kindnesses by so many who took the time to introduce themselves and take a few moments to socialize. It was awesome!

[Teresa]

Jenn,
I've been meaning to ask you the question for some time and I know your absolutely right it's just me that has a problem with it. I must admit I never gave it a thought that the SAs would think I'm gay because of the items I'm buying, maybe they don't connect as much a we think they do. I don't have a problem with people knowing I'm a Cder but thinking I'm gay is a different matter, I guess it's because I'm bi-gender and can't relate to a male relationship.

I probably do come over as a good person but with a great sense of humour, if you treat people in that way most will respond accordingly

[mechamoose]

Nope. I had set up 'drab dinners' more than once. Showing up 'en-yourself' is not discouraged.

The next one will be in central MA in mid-august. If you are a "Neworthernah", please come by!

I have also 'deliberately' gone to events sponsored by Glamour Boutique in Auburn, MA.

These events were 'yuuge'. Over a hundred attending. Lots of pretty examples, and then there was me }:>

[gina shiney]

Lena I believe that most of visitors/members haven't met in social circumstances another 'like' & if so wouldn't be prepared to out or acknowledge their own similarities. (It's all to do with societies view of how we are portrayed by norms)(and ourselfs)
I haven't met another like myself, I hardly know what myself is(I am learning) as to the idea of having a physical person in my presence for the discussion of crossdressing it excites and terrifies me. Good luck with your journey and I wish you strength when you get your wish.
Gina

[Ressie]

Meeting others comes down to desire and opportunity. If the desire is strong enough, you'll find opportunities.

I'm lucky to have had opportunities in my region. Yet it was only a few years ago when I started meeting others. I attribute it all to networking on this website.

[Fiona123]

Lena, I have never knowingly met another CD etc. either. Some day I am going to work up the courage to join a support group.🌺

[irene9999]

I've just done it once, if you really want to meet to other CDs there's lots of ways of doing online nowadays and especially if you're willing to visit a larger city

[Cristy2]

I have met quite a few in my traveling around, but Christinac was the only one I was a BFF with in life. All the others were basically acquaintances and really didn't know them very well.

[Lauren Richards]

I know this is about knowingly meeting another crossdresser, however, to provide a bit of support for our slice of normal, a different take on this..

Truth be told, if you are in a group of 100, there are likely between 2 and 5 of those present who are crossdressers. So... you likely have met many, know many, but don't know that part of their personality any more than they know this special part of you.

Lauren

[Teresa]

Lauren,
It's a point I've made many times but I was thinking of slightly different circumstances. If I was outed by someone in an awkward situation, it's one thing I may just point out , that in the group of people facing me at least one male will be thinking I hope they don't see my bra straps, or maybe wearing their wife's panties .

[carolynn2fem]

My theripest has a monthly support meeting at her office. usualy about 30 members show up.

[Georgia Rose]

There was a recent thread on this (see Jenniferathome, the first reply). Never knowingly met another CDer but would love to do so but would have to be in boy mode as I'm not willing to be out in the world. That could cause a lot of angst for people I really care about. Just to have the opportunity to talk with someone about what it is like to CD would be exciting for me. It is estimated that 1% of the population are CDers, transgendered etc so there are quite a few of us about.

[IamWren]

I've just done it once, if you really want to meet to other CDs there's lots of ways of doing online nowadays and especially if you're willing to visit a larger city

Lena and I live in one of the largest cities in the nation so I think we've got that covered.
Funny thing about Lena's question is that she and I live in somewhat the same area of the city. For me though, being barricaded inside the closet and on a very predictable, very routine schedule, there would never be a time for me to meet another CD sister even if I grew the stones (:D) to venture out dressed.

So to answer the question, (sigh) nope. I've never knowingly met a CD sister out and about in the big wide world. Side note... About a year or so before I ever considered dressing, I saw a sister at the museum of art. Tall girl... wearing heeled boots... not pulling it off AT all. But I thought to myself "dang girl! You go on and you do you." I still think about her and am jealous of her courage.

[Teresa]

Georgia,
To me the hardest part was getting to the point of meeting other CDers, meeting them isn't an anticlimax but you realise most of them are already in a comfort zone and they're not bubbling over with it, because most have accepted it for years. It is good to talk to TSs because they have no other choice, so hearing their stories is at times quite sobering. The excitement does come from putting you own outfit together, other CDers may not compliment on your look but the wives or partners often do , which I find very special.

The numbers under the TG umbrella is going to be interesting in 2021 because the UK is introducing a revised national census to include far more minority groups . The idea is to give more support and funding for the whole spectrum, I believe Australia has already done this, so it would be interesting to hear what changes take place.

[Jenny22]

I actually did met with a wonderful 'lady' from this forum.She was pretty, but I was only underdressed. I will be a bit more femme when next we meet.

[Dana44]

In Vegas you might see many others, but if you do try to introduce yourself if you get the chance to do so.

[Samantha Clark]

I've never met IRL with a fellow traveler, but would like to some day. I'm thinking going to Esprit or SCC would be a step to stretch my comfort zone. I think I'd get a lot out of connecting face to face.

[Alice_2014_B]

I fortunately have met another CDer in person when I was in a cover-band.
It is so much fun hanging out in girl-mode!
I hope to be doing it again soon when I take a job that keeps me home; I'll be the band's sound-gal and/or roadie/helper.
But even if I'm not associated with the band, he totally doesn't mind me just hanging out; however, I desire to be a part of it.

:)

[maid]

online is so difficult but may be big cities but for me to meet one is a dream

[mechamoose]

You know, we all need to get past this bit of fear.

You, I, We, need to open ourselves up to meeting and interacting that which looks like and is part of US.

It is *US*.

We *need* each other. We are all looking for that invisible support... that invisible wink that someone sees who we are and smiles.

I disagree with those that say if we see a member and our radar is triggered, that we should pretend that nothing happened. Something *DID* happen!! We saw one of US!!

We need validation, we need community, we need support!

Nothing wrong with that.

- Kitty / Moose

[JenniferR771]

I have met a fellow (sisters) or local cd right here on this site. We arrange a drab meeting at a local Denny's or coffee shop. Some of our local sisters are on this site at times. I have met a lot at local support groups, who keep in touch online.

I have met a few local sisters while shopping at thrift stores. I see a guy shopping the bras or dresses.
Usually I hold up a dress to myself and just say, "Would this look good on me?" Outing myself first. Sometimes it doesn't work and its uncomfortable at times. I am going to try to find a nearby coffee shop, in advance. So...I can buy the new "girl" a cup of coffee. Maybe carry a card or piece of paper with the website and local email addresses for myself and our local facilitator of the Grand Rapids support group--handout--just in case I meet another sister.

[mechamoose]

Hi Jenn!

That is why I do these drab dinners!

This isn't about presentation or passing, it is about acceptance. My particular trope, 'Earnest Borgnine in a sundress', (look it up, that is kind of an ugly picture) is kind of telling and kind of important. No matter how gruesome we are, we have the right to present and BE who we are. We have the right to feel pretty and be self-loving.

I'm beautiful and FRAK if you think different.

I'm a bull male who feels more comfy in a skirt than cargo shorts. I love camis. I'm NOT MALE, even though my genetics tell me otherwise.

Please, keep being out there, and set up events where our members can attend. Make it safe for shy people.

The 'drab dinner' thing has worked out pretty well for me so far.

<3

- Kitty / Moose

[CynthiaD]

No, I've never met another CDer in person. No particular reason. In fact, I've never seen one either that I know of. But I take people at face value, so I could be surrounded by CDers without knowing it.

[Josie Rivers]

I have never met one either and travel several states.

[GeorgeA]

I was in a similar position for nearly 60 years! And then, with reckless abandon, I bought a wig, makeup, purse, shoes, and drove fully dressed in a long gown to a huge cd event near Boston this past year. I talked with many at the event and was on cloud 9 (even though I felt almost shunned by a few, as I have a full beard). But I will never forget the feelings I felt, nor the kindnesses by so many who took the time to introduce themselves and take a few moments to socialize. It was awesome!
I am a "man-in-a-skirt" and do not emulate women, and like you have a goatee & moustache and was warmly accepted an even befriended when I attended a local crossdresser group's meetings.Most of them were indistinguishable from women and I obviously a man. CD communities are very accommodating and understanding to the varieties that compose them.

- - - Updated - - -


I've just done it once, if you really want to meet to other CDs there's lots of ways of doing online nowadays and especially if you're willing to visit a larger city
Irene, since you are in Toronto you must have heard of Xpressions group? If not, PM me.
See my reply to SarahleeNH.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've met 20 of my friends from here IRL.

I've met probably 100 from my local meetup croup.

I've met hundreds at Keystone over the years.

I've even seen a few "in the wild", but I've never approached them.

It's really one of the best ways to "normalize" your CD experience.

[Being_Me]

No, you are not. I haven't either. A young transwoman worked at a local drugstore and was transitioning while working there. By the time I had worked up the courage to approach her at the makeup counter for some tips, she had moved on.