Going out in the UK

[Just-Lucy]

Hiya Girls,
I'm from the UK and wondered if anyone else here is as well? Starting to think about the nerve wrecking, but all enticing, adventure into the public domain. Any thoughts on how accepting the British community have been for you and places that could be safer/more enjoyable than others, would be much appreciated. p.s I've only been seen by my partner so far (a beautiful and accepting, however bias GG) and wondered if I look as passable as she tells me or if there's a lot of work needed b4 I venture outside? I have updated my avatar and profile with a current picture (dont worry about offending me, I would rather get it from the girls here as costructive thought than as a heckle in the streets)

Biggest hugs, Lucy xXx

[pamela7]

many of us sisters here Lucy,

the uk is absolutely fine, no worries almost anywhere, except large city dark back streets late at night. I go to the supermarket, pub, restaurants, cafes, tourist places, everywhere, it's a non-problem. Most Brits are sheeplike really, they will not cause offense by saying anything at all.

xxx Pam

[Just-Lucy]

Thanks Pam ,
That does sound reassuring. My partner is in all fairness , quite scared of possible banter or worse, aggression. Hopefully knowing others are in the country and able to walk outside safely will help. May I ask If your north or south as I am far south.

xXx

[Karen RHT]

Hi Lucy,

Here's a link to a UK based forum that I belong to. You can learn lots about getting out and about in the UK, especially Manchester, from several members there.

http://forum.stockingshq.com/index.php/forum/8-stockings-hq-male-wearers-forum/


Karen

[Rosemary+]

Hi Lucy
I've just visited the UK, London in particular. I ventured out for the first time while I was there, I went a couple of pubs down near the west end and I had no problems at all
A few stares, yes, but no one said anything
It was exciting, I now have to build up the courage to venture out in the colonies, Queensland, ironic don't you think?
Rosie

[Sarah Louise]

Hi Lucy, I'm glad things are now going well with your partner. Sounds like she came around very quickly. Lucky you!

There are many UK girls on here and I know many of them go out. I'm not really ready for it myself although I did go out once to a retail park just outside Farnborough and didn't have any problems. Mind you, it was very brief and I did look as passable as I possibly could as I had just had a makeover at a crossdressing salon. While I'm not the best one to ask I think many will tell you that most of us don't pass 100% and the best thing is to be confident and try and blend in by wearing clothes that are typical for wherever you go to.

It may be a good idea to go somewhere crossdresser friendly to start with such as a support group or a trans friendly club. Your partner could maybe go with you. Regarding support groups, a search on Google will probably find one near you. Regarding clubs, do your research as some sound a little smutty to me (unless that's your thing lol). Not sure where you are in the south-east but I believe the The Way Out club in London and Pink Punters in Milton Keynes are good.

Have fun whatever you do.

[Teresa]

Lucy,
You look fine, I guess the adage is don't go OTT, but that does depend on where you intend to come out in public.

I posted a thread some time ago suggesting that the only ones wearing skirts or dresses are CDers, not quite true but many GGs are wearing tunics over trousers or jeans, which I'm trying to see the point of. At the moment my home town has had a good showing of simple sundresses and various styles of denim dresses and skirts , mostly in muted colours, not many heels , so it's fairly low key if you wish to blend in.

As for what other CDers are wearing at my social meetings, it is very varied, some are saying to hell with it and going short and tarty, others have only just got into it and trying to find a look, So far I've played on the safe side so I try to look at it from the perspective of what a GG would wear to meet people socially . I do have some things which I might wear that reveal a little more but it will have to be the right occasion. The other point is I drive totally dressed to the venue, so if I do get pulled over or something happens I will be stuck like that. I do take the precaution of drab clothes in the car but I'm still fully made up .

I've just picked up on Pamela's comment about being sheep like, maybe a better term would be more tolerant . It's just brought to mind when I was having my skin colour checked in Boots, being made up as shoppers passed by did raise a few smiles and sleeve pulling but nothing more than that, but I didn't hear anyone saying BAA ! BAA !

[Jessica1983]

Hi Lucy I'm in Essex I think there is a few good places out this way but I've not been out as yet

[Barbara B]

Hi Lucy,

Welcome, I'm in the Brighton area and used to get out and about quite a bit locally and never encountered any problems. Unfortunately since becoming unwell I don't get out at all these days. Barb

[Jennie2]

Hi Lucy
I'm a bit like you, thinking about it, but as my wife is DADT it is difficult, I have been out for a drive a few times and a couple of short walks, but where I live is very built up and not easy to get out without the neighbours seeing me, I can only go out when my wife is out plus it takes a lot of work and time to make me somewhat passable.

[reb.femme]

Hi Lucy,

I'm from the Croydon area, if that is near you? I belong to a local group called TransPALS and we meet every second Saturday of the month in a local pub. That way you can have a few drinks to calm the nerves.

We have a good age spread, from college going types to almost claiming State Pension types. Unfortunately, I'm nearer the latter grouping, but at least I got here.

You can PM me if you want any info confidentially. I've been shopping on a Saturday morning in Croydon, Dorothy Perkins etc., really enjoyed it but you can only experience this if you get out. I loved it and the skirt I got was gorgeous. Many Youtube videos give seriously good advice.

Becky

[HollieAJ1986]

Hi Lucy!

As others have said welcome!
There are actually quite a few UK sisters around here, I'm in the southwest.

Can't say I can give you and help or pointers about going out dressed tho.

Hollie

[CONSUELO]

many of us sisters here Lucy,

the uk is absolutely fine, no worries almost anywhere, except large city dark back streets late at night. I go to the supermarket, pub, restaurants, cafes, tourist places, everywhere, it's a non-problem. Most Brits are sheeplike really, they will not cause offense by saying anything at all.

xxx Pam

I agree that the UK is a very safe place for cross dressers to go out. However I think it is rather insulting and wrong to call what I have perceived as just politeness in letting people be for being "sheeplike". Sheeplike would imply that if someone took offense to a cross dresser in their midst they would all follow suit. On the contrary I have seen people talk down those sorts of people.

[JennykBailey]

Hi, just a tip. If you are going out and are not confident try to hang around your home for an hour after you get ready. This will help you to get used to your look, and outfit. I found if I just launched myself into the world I was too nervous about how I looked and consequently came across as self conscious. Good luck and have fun.

[colleen ps]

Hi Lucy.

Like you I am pondering my first trip out in public too. I am currently on holiday in Hampshire but hail from near Dartford in Kent. i have got one further than just being seen by my wife as we went to a place near Bournmouth last week to buy a new wig. I was dressed very conservatively with no make up etc so in the clothes i wore i just looked like any other bloke in girly sandals and nail polish. Today however, we plan to drive down there again to get a second look at another wig both my wife and I liked, with the intention of maybe buying it at some time. the point i am getting at is that i am sitting here dressed and made up, some casual jewelry and my new wig on, fully made up and ready to hit the road. I have already called ahead to say that we are coming so will let you know how things go. We have been here over a week now and i have worn hardly any male clothes at all, we have been all over the place and there have been a few glances, but nothing to be worried about. mainly glances at my sandals and painted nails, along with a smile as i obviously look like a man dressed neutrally. I hope this gives you some confidence to give it a go.

[Shelly Preston]

As someone who has been most places in the UK you will not have a problem.

If you dress for the occasion you will not have any real issues, yes you can be a bit more adventurous if you are in an accepting area like the gay village in Manchester.
I have had the odd comment made in my direction. 5 in about 7 years. I started with going for a drive first then short trips to shopping areas. Most people are too interested in shopping to notice me. I also had the support of some wonderful women, some of whom are members here who helped me.
I don't think I could ever repay they confidence they inspired in me.

Good Luck with venturing out, Oh and it can become addictive or a way of life

[Teresa]

Jenny,
I didn't have that choice the first time I went out, I ran late and hadn't been to the venue before, so I just grabbed everything dashed out the door which wasn't easy in a ballgown and wedges and drove the thirty or so miles. Then I had to find the hotel on a very cold January evening slip my wedges off and try and buckle up the 4" heels . There wasn't time to have second thoughts but surprisingly I didn't feel nervous, it just felt so good and a natural thing to be doing but I didn't expect to be walking in to meet so many people.

[colleen ps]

Lucy.

We did it. What an experience. we drove down to bournemouth no second glances and that gave me the confidence to pull up just up the street and on the other side of the road to the salon. my wife and i got out of the car, picked up our handbags (purses) and strolled down the street and over the road. we passed a couple of store delivery drivers with no double takes, but as we got to the other side, a little old dear walking her dog just stared at me so i smiled and carried on to the salon.

The rest of the story will be in a new thread soon.

The moral is this.

Nobody really cares, i have worked myself up for no reason, in fact i think my wife was more nervous than me as we got out of the car. so head up, shoulders back and own it girl.

[Teresa]

Lucy,
It's really great to share your story, I'm so pleased it went so well.

Many of the UK seaside resorts have an accepting attitude, Brighton is possibly top of the list along side Blackpool, Bournemouth I would say isn't far behind, people are basically relaxed and on holiday they don't really know anyone so it's that much easier to blend in .

[Just-Lucy]

Wow! So much positivity. Thinking Brighton would be close and safe with all the shops I can take. Will defo check out trans pals online as well. it has been lovely to read all of these posts. Hopefully I'll have a story of the pending adventure soon :)

[Helen_Highwater]

Lucy,

As you can see from the replies the UK generally is an accepting place. I've been out on a good few occasions, but not that many compared to some, and never had a bad word said. Yep I've been read and spider sense will tell you that there are those who are thinking unkind thoughts. However the vast majority of folks, and this is especially true of those whose job it is to serve, i.e. SA's will always be courteous and polite.

Follow the basic rules.

If you go out at night don't go somewhere that you wouldn't feel comfortable going in drab. Friday and Saturday nights in some town centres are best avoided as there are too many the worse the wear for drink and spoiling for a fight and that can and does include GG's as well.

It seems counter intuitive but going out in the daytime to a retail park especially one with fashion stores can be one of the safest things to do. Firstly, there are likely to be way more GG's than men. They are going to be focused on their shopping goals and not paying attention to others. Secondly there's safety in numbers; you can hide in a crowd. You do have to dress appropriately, the dress to blend rule. Only a handful of GG's will go shopping wearing heels higher than an inch or so. Most are in flats of trainers. Leggings seem to be the order of the day especially as the weather cools down. On hot days wearing a wig, forms, perhaps padding is going to take it's toll so be prepared for that.

If you can find a support group near to you then go. The first one I attended I emailed the secretary before going as a courtesy and on the night was treated to a kind and welcoming evening that did wonders for my confidence. If you're wondering what to wear most groups have a web site with a picture gallery so you can see what the "norm" is. Almost certainly there'll be CD's with their SO's. It's possible you'll find someone who'll accompany you out on a shopping trip or to an accepting pub or club.

It is a scary thing to go out into the muggle world. However with a little planning and a few deep breaths it's not the minefield you may think it to be.

[joandher]

Lucy Hi i am in Manchester and the gay village in the center of town is a mecca for all walks of life with bars restaurants hotels etc etc and nobody cares they have all seen it before and its just the norm ,even all the shops and supermarkets are all very nice

good luck

[Leslie Langford]

...Most Brits are sheeplike really, they will not cause offense by saying anything at all.

xxx Pam

Well, except perhaps for the infamous soccer (football) hooligans fuelled by their binge drinking, who delight in causing major disturbances at sports venues and other events. These uncouth boors have become the bane of most European soccer events wherever British teams play, and limiting their travel opportunities to the Continent in future may be an unintended benefit of the Brexit.

A CDer would be well advised to steer clear of them.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi, try Hastings Old Town, interesting place and I've seen several CDs there. There's a group who meet at a pub between the new town and St. Leonards but I don't have a contact for them, sorry. There's an annual Pirates Day festival in Old Town which is bonkers, I went out as a camp pirate with lots of make up and nobody even noticed me, so many Jack Sparrow lookalikes. I'll be there in late Sept, if you're interested in meeting you can PM me, but can't promise I'll be fully dressed, depends on my weight at the time (yes, such vanity).

Hope you have fun what ever you get up to!

Nikki

[CONSUELO]

Someone mentioned "football hooligans". Don't worry about them unless you like to go to some of the infamous soccer clubs in full dress. There are louts everywhere and in all countries but I think we members of this site have the good sense to know where they might be and how to recognize them and avoid them.
Truly there are many, many areas in the UK where you can dress and enjoy yourself without fear of harassment.

[jacques]

Hi,
I was in town recently when there was a Pride event. I am sure I saw several young crossdressers just walking around town without attracting attention and I wished I was younger and growing up in these more trans-friendly times!
luv J

[HelenR2]

Check this out.... http://www.clareproject.org.uk/ . They meet one afternoon a week and often go from there to a local pub for the evening.

[Michelle 78]

Hi I'm from the UK. I go out a heck of a lot these days and I really don't have any issues really. It's all about confidence and when you are out and about to just act as if it's 100% normal and you will be perceived as a normal woman going about her business. The one thing that gets us made the most is body language I have found as nervousness attracts attention. This is all easy to say, but at the start of me going out I was a bag of nerves!! it gets easier eventually, just takes time.

I started out by going out driving which is a safe environment and then walking around places like the Cemetery which is quiet and then moved onto a walk around the park. Now I go shopping a lot to supermarkets & clothes stores and I was even out with the girls last friday night!

Just think about where you are going and think, would a GG go there? try to avoid teens and groups of men with thier mates as they will out you if you give yourself away. Always dress appropriately for the situation too. Look at what real women are wearing and copy them.

You could always try a Cd/Trans friendly night out or event. I'm not sure where you are, but have you heard of Leeds First Friday? have a look online, I go there with the girls and its very accepting and a fun place to go out and I spoke to a lot of girls out for their first time.

Hope this helps.

[Paula_56]

OMG

I am from the states, however have been out and about in UK several time OMG SO safe and accepting, to me it seems the Brits see it as part of everyday life where here in the states you can be judged

[Teresa]

Paula,
Very often people think of Brits with their stiff upper lip most of the time we just laugh at ourselves, on the whole we are accepting . It is something that has surprised me, many of us think the US is the land of the free anything goes but you do appear to have more problems with acceptance than the UK. We all have no go areas and still need to be cautious we are vulnerable when dressed .