Boldly Going How I Have Never Gone Before... flying en femme

[Lauren Richards]

Confirmed flight and hotel reservations for a business trip next week. Booked an extra day at a different hotel, and will be flying back home late in the evening Saturday instead of Friday night upon conclusion of business.

Decided that after end of business on Friday, I would be in 100% Lauren mode until Monday morning. Friday night and Saturday in a different city. Flight home, all Lauren mode..

I have a bit over a week to get ready (I'm ready NOW, but have to wait for the calendar pages to flip), so will be using the time to prepare. Shopping. TSA research. Packing. More shopping. Unpacking and packing again. Repeat for a week..

Now... where is that cute hat I wore last summer...?? Decisions, decisions. Good thing I have a week to get ready.

Got travel advice?

Lauren

[alwayshave]

Lauren, enjoy your weekend. I wish I had the time to spend a weekend dressed.

[MindiB]

Just get a bigger suit case...Lol Have Fun

[Richelle]

Relax and enjoy the time. It's fun to fly enfem

Richelle

[DeeArel]

What city will you be staying in? I might be in the area or recommend a few fun places to venture out to.

[susmitha]

Security checks and rest rooms at the airport may be problematic. How is it? Anyway, wish u best, Lauren.

[Lauren Richards]

Thank you for your support & suggestions.

Was thinking of "his & hers" suitcases, but as the first part of the trip is business and I will be traveling with an associate, I think I'll keep the pink ribbon off the extra luggage. Will be checking Lauren's luggage, however, as it would never make it through the carry on inspection.

Have done a little checking up, and plan on avoiding the body scan by requesting a pat-down. TSA is required to provide pat-down by a member of the gender you are presenting as, not by your drivers license gender. Should be interesting to see how that goes.

Planning on arriving early enough to have plenty of time to check luggage and go through security. First time. Don't anticipate any troubles with my ID not matching my gender presentation. My drivers license photo shows me in longish hair (not as long as it is now), and suspect the folks checking bags have seen pretty much everything.

Keeping the city on the low down for now... although I can tell you it is very warm there, and the airport is pleasantly smallish. I have not been there very much, so this will be an adventure in many ways.

Flying out a week from tomorrow. Yea! Still, lots to do to get ready.

Lauren

- - - Updated - - -

Found my hat!! Have been looking for it since deciding to spend time en femme at the end of a business trip. Was worried I had packed it away too well and would not be able to find it in time. Found it this morning. Yea!
Also found a photo of me wearing it while having a fun day with a fellow sister in San Diego a couple of years ago.
Going to pack this top, too.
Two suitcases, for sure...

[Stephanie Lynne]

I'd love to hear how it goes for you at the security area. I have a flight booked in Oct and plan to spend a long weekend as Stephanie. Enjoy!

[Diversity]

Enjoy!!! Suggest wearing wireless for a bra, 😀
Di

[CarlaWestin]

The only issue that I've had with TSA is breast forms. In DC they pulled them out of my carry-on and tested for explosives.
But, in Las Vegas she just smiled and said, "What show do you work for, Honey?"

[Lauren Richards]

Will be giving a full report upon my return. Stephanie, sounds like you are going to enjoy your long weekend! Including the airport, I hope.

Definitely not any metal support in the bra. Wouldn't want to stab the girls! One of my favorite bras is a front closure underwire, a bit lacy and sheer. Not going through the body scanner, so not too worried about what the TSA lady finds/feels.

Will be wearing my breast forms, and some other enhancements as well. Everything else except what goes in the purse is going to ride in the cargo hold, not the overhead bin. Hmm.. may have to buy a bigger purse for this adventure!

Sandals and tops and pants, oh, my!!

Lauren

[Lauren Richards]

A week from today, about this time, I will be returning my rental car and heading to the ticket counter to check my bag. En femme for the first time in this situation. Excited to see how it goes.

Had a couple of pairs of sandals on order for the trip, but when they came yesterday I found them to be a bit too snug. Thank goodness for Amazon return policy! Ordered another two pair, one size up, but there is little chance they will come before I board the outbound plane on Wednesday. Need sandals!! Older crossdresser in a hot dry area for the weekend, gotta have sandals!

Found a local store which looked promising, called and they confirmed they had a few pairs of women's size 13 sandals. Arrived at the store with dark brown blouse, earrings, dark brown lipstick, and was obviously a genetic guy looking for womens shoes.

The store is a mom & daughter store, and I could not have received a more warm and cordial welcome. The store is laid out very well, with several individual areas like small living rooms instead of a gigantic open space. They simply treated me like a valued customer, offering water, wine and a nice (though naturally somewhat limited due to the size) selection of sandals. Felt very comfortable being there.

They had just what I was looking for, and they even gave me a discount. Wore them out of the store, my tennis shoes safely in the bag. A delightful experience at Sole Comfort in Newport Beach. Highly recommended.

One less thing for me to worry about as I pack for the adventure. Got sandals, will travel (en femme).

Oh, photo is from when I stopped by the market to pick up some ice cream and root beer (It is National Root Beer Float Day!!). Pulled up one pant leg to show more shoe and left he other down. And, yes, I always have painted toenails, even at the gym.

Wish me luck!

[Lauren Richards]

It is now Sunday morning on the west coast, so technically I will be telling you about how my day went yesterday...

Saturday was the big day, the day I had planned on being my first En Femme flight. Well.. please allow me to share the troubles I experienced:

- Returning rental car: None.
- Checking baggage and getting boarding pass: None
- Shuttle ride to airport: None
- Using restrooms: None
- TSA photo ID and boarding pass inspection: None
- TSA pat-down: None
- Boarding aircraft: None
- Finding a seat: None
- Flying en femme: None

Been a wonderful day. More details later. Photo attached of a traveler having a good day...

Wishing you all the best in everything, and with everyone, you care about deeply.

Lauren

[Jillian Faith]

Congratulations Lauren, I'm glad your first flight enfemme went smoothly

[Stephanie Lynne]

So happy for you, Lauren! 😃 Glad that the flight and the experience went very well. Makes me look forward to mine even more.
Stephanie

[Lauren Richards]

Ahh... the details..

So as not to force you to read what may be a long post, flying en femme should be easy for you if you are comfortable in public. Going to the market, shopping at a department store in the women's section, or going to a coffee shop are all about as troublesome and stressful as flying en femme. If you are comfortable doing these things, you should be fine. If not, you may wish to wait a while before heading to the airport.

It seems to me that being comfortable with who you are while dressed, being comfortable interacting with others, and being honest and gracious with others are the keys to comfortably traveling en femme. Well, umm.. that pretty much sums it up for being a decent person no matter how you travel or what you do.

And now.. some details for your consideration and amusement:


- Returning rental car: Drove in quiet differently than I had driven out. Was initially greeted with "Welcome back Mr..(Name on rental agreement)" A standard greeting as they scan the car without initially paying too much attention to the driver. Once the gentleman looked at me, he immediately shifted into "Thank you, Maam", " I hope you had an enjoyable stay", "The shuttle is through the doors and up the escalator, Maam." "Come see us again. Thank you for renting with Alamo." Yes, that is a plug for Alamo. I have a long history of having been treated well by these folks, and returning the car was no exception. The agent was pleasant. I was pleasant. Who could ask for more?

- Checking baggage and getting boarding pass: In Phoenix, if you arrive early enough, you can check your bags and get a boarding pass at the rental return location. A great service, as it allows you to ride the shuttle to the airport without the burden of the extra bags. Great job, Phoenix! Got the counter to check bags and get my boarding pass, and as I handed over my reservation information and drivers license, I casually mentioned to the attendant that my photo may not match my current appearance, and that I was enjoying the weekend. He calmly glanced up and said "Oh, no problem. I thought perhaps you may be transitioning." He treated me like any other customer, and we talked a bit about how nice the baggage pre-check was for customers. He observed that I had plenty of time to make my flight, and made sure I knew which shuttle to take. There are four terminals, and going to the right one is rather important. "Have a pleasant flight." And off I went to board the shuttle

- Shuttle ride to airport: Boarded the shuttle, knowing exactly which one would take me to the correct terminal. Had only my small carry-on bag, a sweater (in case it was cold in the terminal and on the airplane) and purse with me thanks to the baggage pre-check in service. There were very few other passengers, and no one even looked at me. Typical shuttle experience.

- Using restrooms: I arrived several hours early to make sure there was plenty of time to move though the various things necessary for air travel these days. Having to use the restroom on arrival at the airport, I found one which was off the highly traveled pathways. Did not want to use one where I would have to wait in line. Passed a few women just outside the restroom as they exited, and entered as if I belonged there. I did belong there, actually, and would have felt rather out of place in the men's. Found an empty stall. I have used women's restrooms before, so there was no mystery here about what to expect. It was a restroom. Duh. Timed my exit from the stall when there was no one at the sinks and mirrors, and washed by hands and brushed my hair. On exiting the restroom a few women entered, and had no interest in me at all. I make sure not to make eye contact in these situations as, well, why would you? I don't look at guys in the men's, so why look at women in the women's? Most folks are interested in what they are doing, and do not notice much else. Works well in restrooms, however, 'tis true typically outside the restrooms as well. This works to our benefit, mostly. However, sadly, there is a down side.

Earlier in the day I had been in a wonderful, no, make that "magnificent" ballroom, and two women entered, asking me if they could get to the parking garage by going through. They were totally oblivious to the amazing space, and I answered that I was not sure about getting to the garage, however, please take a moment to look at this amazing ballroom. "In the moment, ladies, please." It was a magnificent space, and they were only interested in getting to the garage. They did pause, however, I am not convinced they understood the importance of the experience they were casually ignoring. Alas. Their loss.

Oh, back to the restrooms. .. As I had arrived very early, there was a second need for visiting "the facilities." I was in a more crowded section of the airport at the time, and as I approached the restroom, I made use of the family restroom which was located near the entry to the women's restroom. Totally private. No issues whatever. If you are at all concerned about using the women's restroom, this is a convenient option. I did not have to use it, however, it was open and .. why not?

- TSA photo ID and boarding pass inspection: Handed my boarding pass and photo ID to the TSA agent, and smiled. He looked at the photo, looked at me, stamped my boarding pass and said "Have a pleasant flight." I said "Thank you" and moved toward the bins were you deposit your shoes and purse and computers and all that stuff. . The agents did not give me a second look as I was reminded that the computer needed to be in separate bin from the carry-on bag, which needed to be by itself on the belt. Standard airport carry-on screening stuff. No drama. No trauma.

- TSA pat-down: Had decided early-on that I was not going to go through the scanner. I have a female friend who regularly refuses to go through it because of the potential for cellular/DNA damage. I don't know if that is an issue, but she thinks it is and always avoids the scanner. I knew I would likely fail the scan anyway, and mentioned that to the TSA agent at the scanner. She politely asked if I would prefer a pat-down, and I replied that I would. She asked if I would prefer a private area, and I declined. They were not very busy, and why make a big deal out of something that happens all the time? I figured if it happened in public, then there was less effort required by the TSA agents, and they would likely appreciate my not making a big deal of a standard procedure. They had a new agent that needed some training, so I got the newbie. She did a very good job, and I did not feel violated at any time. Yes, you will be pat down by a female agent if you present as female. TSA regulations require that protocol. After I slipped my sandals back on and repacked my carry-on, I went back to the TSA agents and thanked them for their courteous and professional manner, and for treating me so very well. There was another agent present, and he apperated to be the supervisor. They were delighted that I took the time to thank them, and mentioned they don't get many compliments. I think this is true for most service positions, whether TSA agent or fast-food cashiers. I make it a point, no matter how I am dressed, to acknowledge the service received from those who may not hear a good word very often in their work. Notice what people do, and say "Thank you." Simple, yet so important to acknowledge the existence of others and their contribution, no matter how small, to your life.

Oh, before I forget to mention it, as I was waiting for the TSA agent who was going to do my pat-down to arrive, I was standing in my bare feet next to the scanner, chatting with a young woman TSA agent. She looked down and remarked " I really like your toenail polish! I wish I could wear that, too. My toes are gross." As I left to be pat-down, I turned to her and said, with a smile "Take care of those toes". The smile was returned, with extra sparkle.

- Boarding aircraft: Flying Southwest is always enjoyable for me, no matter which number I draw. This time I was B59. Standing in line. Nobody cared, except what order they were going to board the plane. Approaching the woman scanning boarding passes, I handed her my boarding pass and said, as I always do "May I keep the boarding pass?" She looked up, smiled, and said "Of course." I think she knew it was going to be a souvenir. It was a friendly smile, a "Welcome aboard" smile.

- Finding a seat: With a B59 boarding assignment, I knew that most seats on the window or aisle would be taken. Making my way to the back of the plane, I spotted the last row "Empty!!" Yea! I prefer a window seat, and took the one in the last row on the right side of the plane. Soon I was joined by a couple who took the middle and aisle seats. They were oblivious to me, as I expected they would be. Standard airline passenger sitting next to a stranger stuff.

- Flying en femme: In all ways that are important, I was simply another airline passenger. Nothing more. Nothing less. I did not force myself on others, nor expect any special treatment. I was treated well, and flew happy. At the end of the flight, as I had taken the last seat in the back, I was the last off the plane. I asked the flight attendant if he would mind taking my picture. He was happy to do so, and took a few, just to make sure he got a good one. I think he did.

I had a wonderful experience, and will be doing it again when I can. It took me a very long time to work up to this. I encourage any of you thinking of flying en femme to make the leap when you are ready. You will know when you are. Until then, practice. It pays off in so many ways. And.. if you never fly en femme, enjoy what you do, be true to yourself, and be kind to others. You never know how hard it is to walk in their shoes, with or without heels. ..

Take care.

Lauren

[Jenn A116]

Thanks for sharing your experiences and your Pix. You looked exactly right!

[Rogina B]

Like any "fitting in" type of thing..It isn't a big deal unless you make it one. But,always be early enough through the TSA web that if they want to single you out,you won't be trying to "run" for your flight..from experiences I have had. Your DL picture matching your reality always helps !

[BettyMorgan]

Thank you Lauren for the details. I enjoyed this post and your interactions. I am comfortable going out shopping anywhere in my city so I appreciate the line about making an easy leap to flying.

Thanks again.

[Krisi]

The thing that would worry me the most about flying "en femme" would be the possible awkwardness of sitting next to one or even two people who don't approve of my choice for several hours. On the ground, we usually have the choice of moving but not on an airplane.

[Cheryl James]

Lauren,

Flying pretty is a "bucket list" item for me. I, avidly, read the posts by girls on this site who have done, or who are planning to do, this. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate on a personal level the great detail that you provided about your adventure. I will, probably, read your post a time or two to make sure that I did not miss anything. Thank yo for taking the time to share your day with us.

[Jill999]

I look forward to the day I can go for a drive and think it a big deal.

[Stephanie Lynne]

Thanks for the details at every stage and experiences. I could visualize being there. I have most wondered about the rental car and security check process. You helped a lot. I'm very comfortable being out and you've helped clear up those concerns. Thanks! My trip is only 2 months away. I'm flying Southwest dressed both ways. Looking forward to a very relaxed and enjoyable 5 day weekend.
Hugs, Stephanie

[phili]

If I can go anywhere in a cute outfit, anyone can!

I'll second what so many say, which is that most people readily understand that a crossdresser has a need to crossdress, has a right to crossdress, and given their own problems with gender norms, and not wanting to be hypocritical, prevents them from making an issue of it. At least half of people come in contact with up close when wearing a dress will willingly talk, as it is a chance for them to relax a little, be able to say "Well, I met a crossdresser today,and he/she was nice. Turns out ..."

An airport and plane are completely safe places to be en femme. Your main problem will be deciding when to stop, since when you land, you can also just go get on the shuttle or train, go your hotel, etc. and you'll feel really normal. If your long lost relatives will be there to greet you, you'll be tempted to say- what the heck- this is me- and enjoy feeling understood- even if the children are a bit wide eyed- they get the picture- important new info about the options for men!

If a seatmate doesn't like it, they would just do what most seatmates do anyway, offer a curt greeting and read or watch TV!

[Pattie]

I fly this way all over the US, and Canada as it is my job.
Don't have any problems with TSA or other security, all airports are the same nobody really notices, what other people are doing they just want to get there luggage and leave.

[Jenny22]

I look forward to the day I can go for a drive and think it a big deal.

Hi, Jill, and Welcome to this wonderful forum! I drive en femme (at least from the waist up) almost every day, and have been doing it for years. You can, too. See my "driving while pretty" post for how I do it, and love to do it.

- - - Updated - - -

Hi, Pattie, and welcome to the forum. You will love it here, believe me! I would sure like to know what your job is that you fly en femme all over the US and Canada. Please share with all of us.

[Lauren Richards]

Thank you all for your kind words and expressions of appreciation.

Jenna, totally appreciate your compliment on the picture. Felt very natural and in the right place.

Rogina, so true about arriving early and giving yourself lots of time to traverse the various TSA checkpoints. Being open about who was behind the lipstick and being early are keys to an enjoyable flight. Come to think of it, no matter how you are dressed that has been my experience, too.

Betty, thank you for noting the nugget in the text which was helpful to you. Being comfortable away from the airport is so important to being comfortable at the airport. Sounds like you will be doing some flying. Best wishes for a pleasant experience.

Kristi, what is uncomfortable and potentially awkward to you is a legitimate concern if you believe it to be so. Not for anyone else but you to decide where your comfort level is in social situations. There will always be those who are uncomfortable around crossdressers, and crossdressers who are uncomfortable around others. Again, what you believe to be true is true for you. I would be the last person to try to convince you otherwise. Be you. Be true. Not much more to it.

Cheryl, I am so pleased that you found my account helpful. I enjoyed the experience, and will be doing it again. Took me a very long time to take this step. Sounds like you are on the runway, ready for takeoff. Please tell us about it when you have taken a drink from that bucket.. hope it is full of Champaign. Bon Fem Voyage.

Jill, driving is a lot like flying. Takes time to be comfortable, and only when you are ready should you venture out. This is not a contest of how far we can stretch the comfort zone. It is about enjoying a special slice of life which is unique to a small percentage of the population. If it is just the application of lipstick on occasional evenings or driving to the gas station or flying en femme, anything which allows you to explore and enjoy this part of your being is a good thing. Be as good to yourself as you would be to others.

Stephanie, thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments of appreciation. I enjoyed the experience, and hope that by sharing not only some of the preparation but also details of my experience others, like you, can better understand how much our own preparation and attitude can influence the experience. You will be Great! Five days! Wow!! Looking forward to your story. Wishing you a tailwind and soft landings.

Phili, sounds like you’ve got it together! Whether we think we can, or we think we can’t, we are generally right. Would be delightful to share a seat on a Boeing with you, any time!

Pattie, paint me green (not really my best color, mind you..) with envy. Flying all over as you do sounds wonderful!! You are such a tease.. please share a bit more of how this works. Would love to hear more.

Jenny, thank you for adding another perspective and your experience. There is a certain comfort to be gained by knowing others have gone through similar experiences, and are happy to share.

I flew back again from Phoenix two nights ago, this time en drab. Had been working intensely for several days and did not have time to change. The airport seemed different, yet the same. I think the sensations I felt while en femme were heightened and more intense than those experienced two nights ago. Could also be that I was exhausted from my work schedule, but I don’t think so. Whether flying or driving or shopping at the local market, I find myself a bit more alert, a bit more sensitive to the environment. I think that may be part of what women experience every day. Being alert. Being sensitive.

I am pleased that several of you have gained confidence and/or helpful information from this post. Helping others is not uniquely a female quality, however, it is generally considered more closely aligned with women, so we can all embrace and enjoy. No matter how we dress. Thank you for letting me share this portion of my journey.

Best to all.
Lauren

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lauren:hugs:It was a wonderful read following your adventures of flying very lovely...:daydreaming:...

[Marcelo]

I'm flying to Atlanta the last weekend of October for a zombie run. I plan on hitting a street parade before reaching my motel in Perry. I want to wear my cheerleader uniform on the flights to and from and might just show up in it based on your report. But in case the uniform is too much for Southwest Airlines I'm gonna have my guy clothes or at least some leggings as a back up. I'm pretty excited about it - and if I can lose the belly fat by then I wouldn't even mind a strip search!
Marcelo

[CherylFlint]

Yes, I have some travel advice but you’re not going to like it or, for that matter, take it.
Why make it any more difficult than it already is?
The idea is to stay SAFE, and if you want to go through the gauntlet at the airport with the TSA agents, good luck.
It’s not yesterday: it’s a new day and it’s up to each of us to pay attention.
If you want to live in your fantasy world at your own peril, that’s entirely up to you.
My advice is you’re making it a lot more complicated than it has to be.
The idea is to stay as safe as you possibly can.
I suggest you pay attention.
Now if anyone out there wants to make an issue of suggesting NOT to stay as safe as possible should be our #1 priority, good luck with that.
By all means have fun, but not at the expense of staying as safe as you can possibly be.

[Rogina B]

And the threat is???? Cheryl Flint...

[AllieSF]

Yes, Cheryl, please elaborate and to which post are you replying. Mid-August I flew from Oakland, Ca to Kansa City, MO and back, spending 3 days totally en-femme. I took no male clothes. I breezed through baggage check and the TSA check points with no issues at all. Went all over Kansas City, taxis, Uber and the hotel courtesy car, went shopping at their famous outdoor shopping mall, Country Club Plaza, nail salon and a Blow Out Hair Salon to do my hair and makeup done for a wedding. Also went to a local Mexican restaurant, well known Kansas barbecue restaurant and a small dive bar across the river in KC, Kansas. Totally wonderful experience where I never thought twice about who I am and where I was, except to just get the most out of that unique experience.

Lauren, congratulations on the joining the Flying Pretty Club. It really is a fun experience and should be tried by all. Thanks for sharing the before and after stories. Greatly appreciated.