I may have stepped one step too far.

[Sissyboy2]

So quick backround. My wife knows of my dressing and is ok with it. Not to be to graphic but sometimes we have even made love with me wearing a dress. It's so hot. My wife has seen me in dresses but not too much just wearing panties and a bra. I have never worn wigs around her as well. So the other night I was being a little extra brave. I was wearing a bra and panties around her.

I even asked her if I should take the bra off and she said I didn't have too. Well we had started to make love and then she told me to take the bra off because it wasn't doing anthing for her. It's something about wearing a bra in front of your SO that is different than even wearing a dress. A bra is like the ultimate femine thing in my opinion.

So she wasn't mad at me and also said she was just really tired. I even said I was sorry that I was pushing that far. I should be happy with what I got instead of alwasy trying to add more.

I can see how SO's that may be accepting of it at times may change their minds later.

[arbon]

Need to remember for women a bra is just a bra. There is nothing sexual in it for them. The husband wearing a bra bra or other clothing in front of her may be a big turn on for him but women don't feel that same towards it.

[leannejacobs]

I know what you're talking about, we quite regularly get graphic when I'm fully dressed, it's great, she doesn't mind me being fully dressed, for me dressing is not sexual until that moment, one thing my wife laughs at is our desire to wear a bra when women can't wait to get theirs off lol

[Tracii G]

I can't wait to take my bra off too.
An aggravating item of clothing IMO. Nothing remotely sexual about wearing one.

[kittie60]

Been their done that. We always push a little farther tenants we should.

[Diversity]

The bra is the ultimate feminine article of clothing to me as well, however like the others have said, it is not held in the same high esteem by our wives.
Doesn't sound like you hurt anything with your wife to me. You were kind to apologize, but from the durface of it, it didn't sound necessary. Your wife may have indeed been tired.
I'd carry on as if everything was as it was before. Good luck to you!
Di

[kymberly]

Women wear bras because they need to,they don't understand how femine a bra make us feel.

[NancySue]

We both chuckled at some of the comments. She has always teased me about how I can't wait to put on...what she can't wait to take off. How true. She includes...bras, (especially underwires), pantyhose and heels. I, for one, will be very happy to see the style swing back to wearing hose. Here, they can and don't...life is not fair. 👠💄👗

[Krisi]

Well, I wear a bra because I need to as well. Without a bra, my boobs would fall off.

A woman might get some sort of lesbian fetish from making love to us when we are dressed as females or they might be totally disgusted. Consider that if you were not a crossdresser or dressed as a woman, would you want to make love to your wife if she was wearing an artificial penis?

[AlyssaJ]

Sorry to hear about this. It seems (for me at least) to go in cycles. My wife will begin to get more adventurous with what she allows me to do. Then I'll push too far or we'll do something that hits her in the wrong way or something and it results in a bit of regression. Remember, just as we go through our own cycles of self-acceptance (for some it's purging others it's long stretches of repression) she is also working through cycles of acceptance. Just when she thinks she has a handle on it, something happens that she wasn't prepared for and it undoes some of that work. All you can do is be open and honest with her. Don't lie and say it was anything less than it was. You wanted to try some more things, she wasn't having it so own that and move on for now.

Sounds like you guys are pretty open so I bet you'll be just fine in the long run.

[Katya@]

I know exactly what you are talking about. My wife accepts me wearing skirts or even dress in front of her. Even though I don't wear a bra often (mostly because one I have is not comfortable), I did notice that she was somewhat uncomfortable and hesitant to hug me when she feels a bra under my shirt. Every wife has her own level / stage of acceptance. She clearly told me that makeup or jewelry is something that is too much for her. This is fine with me. I am glad for what I have.
Katya@

[Andrea Evadne]

yeah totally understand this one. My wife is fine with me wearing panties, very occasionally a dress (we have even done the making love wearing dresses thing)..she also doesnt mind me wearing her top clothes as long as they are fairly neutral. I keep the bra wearing for when she is not around though, dont think she would take well to that at all!

[Jenniferathome]

Ya think? The most common, upsetting to the spouse, mistake posted here is the ole, "I think I went too far," post. TALK to her fist. Give her a chance to express what she thinks/feels about something.

By the way, while some women will allow cross dressing into the bedroom, it is not because they are turned on by it, but rather it is more like a gift to their man. Birthdays come once a year, not monthly....

[ReineD]

Well we had started to make love and then she told me to take the bra off because it wasn't doing anthing for her. It's something about wearing a bra in front of your SO that is different than even wearing a dress. A bra is like the ultimate femine thing in my opinion.

Well, a dress is a cover up of private body parts that fits over a torso and has a neck hole and two arm holes. Since both men and women have a neck and two arms, it's conceivable that a man would wear a dress especially given that in many cultures men do wear items of clothing that are not pants (kilts, sarongs, all manner of tunics, djellabas, mundus, etc - look them up). It's not so much of a stretch to wear something that covers the top of your torso and your hips like a shirt and a pair of shorts open at the bottom than wanting an item of clothing that is designed exclusively for a body part that men don't have. If a husband has a particular fondness for bras other than to hold the forms he uses when he tries to present a believable appearance as a woman while out in public, a wife may think he actually wants breasts, which puts a different spin on it all.

[Lana Mae]

Of course, being widowed this really does not concern me but IMHO I would pay particular attention to what Reine has to say!!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Leslie Langford]

There seems to be a running theme among the CDers posting here that women consider a bra to essentially be a utilitarian "boulder holder" ;), and that it doesn't provide a sexual turn-on. That would, of course, explain (NOT!) the thousands upon thousands of lingerie stores out there such as the Victoria's Secret and La Senza chains, not to mention the countless styles of bras designed primarily to show "the girls" off to their best advantage.

Granted, there are the "granny" panties that women favor on occasion for obvious reasons, but there are also plenty of sexy styles that are in great demand such as bikinis, thongs, high-cut, and "boy-shorts" etc. - usually also made of soft, sensuous fabric and embellished with lots of lace and other trim to package "the goods" in such a way as to make them look their most appealing on those occasions when the wearer is feeling "frisky". So it is with bras...some are for everyday wear to get the basic support job done, while other styles are primarily for "playtime".

For a CDer to wear a bra or panties when planning to get intimate with his partner can be a mine-field fraught with danger...there's no telling in advance how the GG will react in any given situation, and much depends on her mood at that particular time. It can range anywhere from a turn-on to "meh!" to abject disgust. As the saying goes, "You pays your money, and you takes your chances..." :eek: :doh:

[LelaK]

... Consider that if you were not a crossdresser or dressed as a woman, would you want to make love to your wife if she was wearing an artificial penis?
It wouldn't turn me on, but it wouldn't bother me either, unless it got in the way.

[ReineD]

Granted, there are the "granny" panties that women favor on occasion for obvious reasons, but there are also plenty of sexy styles that are in great demand such as bikinis, thongs, high-cut, and "boy-shorts" etc. - usually also made of soft, sensuous fabric and embellished with lots of lace and other trim to package "the goods" in such a way as to make them look their most appealing on those occasions when the wearer is feeling "frisky". So it is with bras...some are for everyday wear to get the basic support job done, while other styles are primarily for "playtime".

Hmmm. And for whom do you think GGs wear this type of lingerie. lol. We are well aware of what men like and to be honest, the more excited he is, the better it is for us. If we are feeling frisky when we put them on, it is at the prospect of his reaction later. GGs do not get aroused just by wearing sexy lingerie in itself, like CDers do.

[Tina_gm]

Yep, too far. One of the mistakes I see on here often is that CDers will take it right to the edge of their partners acceptance or tolerance of CDing. Then just one little step too far, which doesn't seem like much at all, but when that invisible line gets crossed leads to sometimes big problems. One reason why I try hard not to ride the line so to speak.

While the GG members on here speak often of the issues with trust, another thing I have paid attention to is the feelings they get about CDing being a very self absorbing activity. Especially in cases of pink fog kinda stuff. Then it gets even more intense with the self absorbing.

Women and men do have some finite difference typically when it comes to behavior. Men are often very blunt about what they want and like, whereas women tend to be more subtle. But, even though it is more subtle, it is still there. How many men complain about how women expect us to read their minds? and how women seem to understand each other by some magical power? It is because of that subtlety IMO. Women often are telling us what they want, but not in the same manner as we tell them. Paying close attention to how your partner is acting, little cues as to words she may be saying can go a long long way. Jenniferathome does make the good comment of advice about talking to her, and of course that does help tremendously too. So, that would help to know and understand what boundaries she does have, even if they are not concrete ones (subtlety again) so that helps to avoid what becomes an uncomfortable or awkward situation.

Reine makes this great comparison about the difference between a dress and a bra, and its potential meaning. I can see many CDers thinking that why would their partner have such a hard time between the two. (subtlety again) Many of us are great at learning how to "look" like a woman, and become practiced at the fine arts of make up and walking in heels etc etc. We often still "think and act" much more like men than women though.

[Stephanie47]

Several decades ago my wife said to me when she discovered a vivid red Vanity Fair bra in my limited wardrobe of that time, "I don't know why a man would wear a bra hen he has nothing to pack into it!" She had a point. Probably, since I really cannot give a woman's point of view, she may conjecture wearing a dress, hosiery, panty, slip and heels may be about the color and texture of fabric and the feel, but, pretending you have boobs? Finding that Vanity Fair bra made my wife realize there was more to my desire to wear a nightgown to bed because I like the feel of nylon. It's more than just trying to pass yourself off as a woman at Halloween.

[phili]

I'd say check in with your wife, since being 'tired' is in my experience often meaning 'tired of trying to make this all work'. It might be worth saying to your wife that you understand that even though for you wearing a bra is sexy, you get that it seems like a stretch, and that since/if your wife doesn't share that meaning with you, you can also see it interferes with feeling the connectedness that is one goal of sexual intimacy between you.

We want our partners to love us and be attracted to us as feminine, and it is really difficult to see. or maybe just to accept, the obvious,. Our crossdressing strongly conflicts with the sexual duality and attraction of opposites that is the basis for sexual attraction for most people- often including our wives.