Dressing to dress but not to pass

[jeanine38]

Wondering if there are others that are dressing to dress but not to pass. For example I've spent the last few days in women's clothes but not trying to look like a woman. In general a good portion of my wardrobe is from the women's department. I choose muted colors and don't wear skirts or dresses, however I wear women's underwear, jeans, tops, socks, etc. I realize it's not the same as "fully committing" but it works for me and I like it.

Others?

[mandy_may]

That should really be the goal regardless. Passing is relative, truly. We should all be comfortable dressing the way that makes us feel good about ourselves.

[Lana Mae]

I sit at home with painted toenails, panties, and woman's t shirt most of the time! This gets me by until I can dress more fully!! Then it is as much as I can: forms, bra, pantyhose, skirt and top or dress, shoes, and earrings! Hugs Lana Mae

[tbryant2k16]

That's what I do.

[Raychel]

that is me almost 100% of the time. Never did dress to pass really.
Just dress to feel the most comfortable.

[giana4u]

I don't dress to pass these days just happy with bra and panties . My going out days are well passed but I'm still content with what I can do.

[Lauren Richards]

Jeanine, I think what works for you is what is best for you.

There are some who can reasonably modify their appearance to blend as female. I think with enough effort, nearly anyone could. Sure may have to shave that beard and learn to walk differently, but really, do you have to look like a model to look like a woman? There are plenty of ladies out there who will never make a magazine cover.

Being comfortable with who you are and how you like to dress is the most important thing. This weekend I have gone out clearly as a genetic guy wearing female clothing. Just regular stuff. Felt wonderful. Nobody cared. Not even the guy in the hardware store who I stopped to ask about thermometers.

Being comfortable and doing what makes you happy. Yep. That's the ticket!

Lauren

[jami]

I love dressing for the feel and the look

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jeanine:hugs:, Chapter 1. in the Crossdressers Handbook says, The only rule is there are no rules...:daydreaming:...

[deebra]

Jeanie good post, I dress like that too; it let's a CD wear the clothes he wants and if he is clocked it's no big deal and if more of us did this it would quickly become accepted and the norm in today's society. The stigma of it being wrong is just crazy. Why shouldn't a person wear the clothes they like? My experience with SA's as well as others I have had contact with feel there is nothing wrong with a man choosing his clothes from the women's department and the SA's aren't just saying this to sell, they are mature enough in their thinking to know it's just an individuals personal choice.

[Allisa]

I could never pass but I dress to blend when going out. At home I wear women's clothes because they feel good and make me feel good, yes I look more effeminate and if I choose to wear make-up it's usually mascara and maybe some powder to even out my complexion and always jewelry of some kind and I still get quizzical looks but who cares, I don't.

[Georgina]

Jeanine, I dress every evening after work but only the clothes. I love how the clothes feel and look and I am a happy man.

[Krisi]

My jeans are all from the women's department and my shorts are cut down capris. I wear panties for underwear unless I'm going to visit the doctor. I have pierced ears and wear little gold ball earrings as a male.

I don't think of any of this as "dressing" but some folks might consider it to be. It doesn't give me any sort of thrill or special feeling.

When I "dress", it's as close to looking like a woman as I can manage. I suppose that is "dressing to pass".

[Judy-Somthing]

In high school there was a guy who always wore his sisters pants and tops which obviously were girls clothes.
As far as I remember just about everyone excepted him as he was.

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much every time I dress but even when dressing alone, I have my personal "standards of excellence". :battingeyelashes::)

[joandher]

I Still dress and go out in 3 or 4 inch stilleto heels and a dress and wig full make up etc ,and go out to enjoy myself, even though i am 70 next i dont look my age when dressed ,G Gs all agree why should i go age apropriate

[Brianna Robyn]

I prefer to do the complete package every time. Makes me feel more feminine. If I try to just do the clothes, I will eventually head to the mirror and add makeup. It can be very addicting once I start.

[IamWren]

I'm like many who have posted above... 90% of my scivvies are girl undies, all of my jeans are girl cut jeans but they're so generic looking they just kind of look like skinny jeans.

I don't wear female tops or jewely or anything else that might suggest I was gender bending. And like Krissi said, the girl clothes I do wear every day don't give me any particular thrill or warm and fuzzy feeling.

[jacques]

I would find it hard to pass with a beard so it must be the clothes for me!
Luv J

[jeanine38]

Thank you for all of your responses. It's helpful to know there are others who have the same thoughts that I do. I can't pass so it's not worth the effort but I just really like wearing clothes from the women's department. I wear bras almost every day but they are A cups and I don't wear forms or any other enhancement... I don't know why but it works for me.

[RADER]

I like to change into a dress or a skirt as soon as I return home.
It helps me relax and unwind from the day.
Rader

[AllieBellema]

The only thing I feel like I'm really missing is makeup and shoes, which probably makes it obvious to anybody that sees me... but that's ok! I just enjoy dressing up, I don't need to look perfect!

[Katya@]

Jeanine,
Totally with you except skirts and dresses. Skirts are the best thing ever in my opinion - super comfy and feminine; )

[KrisCDAZ]

I dressed to pass years ago: I had a full wardrobe, shoes, handbags and purses, wigs and breastforms and the whole enchilada. But I purged and have not had a chance to rebuild--and, frankly, am not in a place where I can. So I stuff my bra with pillowcases and wear panties and tops and skirts or shorts (or skorts). Not to pass, not to get a thrill, but because I want to be in touch with Kris.

[Dana44]

If i am not going out I dress but may not put makeup on. My toenails are always painted and my hands are manicured with the pink and clear polish. But if I go out then I go all the way with bling and makeup.

[MartineCD]

Hi everyone. I haven't progressed to the stage of going out. I feel that my ability to pass is extremely low even with considerable help with make-up, walking and such. At the moment I dress/dressunder to acknowledge a hidden and buried part of my self. We are all very important and special people. To those who have bared this most intimate part of themselves to their families and the world I salute you.

Take care

[Marissa V]

Wondering if there are others that are dressing to dress but not to pass. For example I've spent the last few days in women's clothes but not trying to look like a woman. In general a good portion of my wardrobe is from the women's department. I choose muted colors and don't wear skirts or dresses, however I wear women's underwear, jeans, tops, socks, etc. I realize it's not the same as "fully committing" but it works for me and I like it.

Others?

not fully committing? Why shouldnt it be? Going to make the assumption for a minute that the jeans are fem jeans now, so... Why wouldnt jeans and top be 'fully committed'? Have you looked around outside? Women DO wear those you know. A dress or skirt isnt going to make you more fem. The age where pants are 'not feminin' are WAY behind us imo.

[Dree Yer Ane Weird]

I am bald and have a full beard and tash, or a goatee when i can be bothered. Have no interest in passing. Hoowever, the only male clothes i own are shirts, jeans, and jackets, mostly for the pockets. I wear false nails 24/7 and change the colour every 2 weeks. The only comments i get are from women asking about who does nails. They get annoyed when i tell them I do them myself then cheer up again when I tell them the nails are false. At home i tend to wear just my knickers and my nightie.

I occasionally do get fully "dressed" but never with the intention of going out. If i went out wearing a kilt i would probably be dressing more masculine, which is odd.

[Meghan4now]

I could never pass but I dress to blend when going out.

Awww come on Lisa! I'm sure if you tried and let your beard out and cut your hair, you could convince at least a few people your a guy!

Oh wait, that's right....

Seriously Lisa, most of your Pics are pretty high on the passability scale.

But to the OPS original thought, regardless to the popular opinion that we all never pass, I still try and try. It's that elusive pursuit that is so fun. Every go fishing or hunting and come home empty handed? But you had a great time anyway!

[wanda66]

I dress for myself ,if i pass so be it. I am in the closet any way,so who is there to impress,...?...only myself.!

[PattyT]

I dress mainly because I lke the female clothing. Sometimes I seem to pass and that's nice too. This is not my main purpose for dressing. I dress to plesse me. Somtimes it pleases others too and I get a complement. That's nice too but it is the frosting on the cake.

[Ozark]

Wondering if there are others that are dressing to dress but not to pass. For example I've spent the last few days in women's clothes but not trying to look like a woman. In general a good portion of my wardrobe is from the women's department. I choose muted colors and don't wear skirts or dresses, however I wear women's underwear, jeans, tops, socks, etc. I realize it's not the same as "fully committing" but it works for me and I like it.

Well. you've just described me to a "T"..... I wear a lot of Columbia brand clothing... there's not much difference between gender clothes with this company.

I am a typical Iowa farmwife. lol. And, I live close to TWO Vanity Fair outlet stores!

[kendracd]

I sit at home with painted toenails, panties, and woman's t shirt most of the time! This gets me by until I can dress more fully!! Then it is as much as I can: forms, bra, pantyhose, skirt and top or dress, shoes, and earrings! Hugs Lana Mae..lol sounds like me!

[Jeanettew]

I just love to dress and love what it feels like its about pleasing me I have just driven 300 miles back from business in heel and stockings just love it and I take plenty of pictures that I post on another site that I like to look at when I can't, while was away I really wanted to get some new undies so I could sit in my hotel room

[Richelle423]

I dress to dress as well. I wear women socks panties ribbed tank tops instead of bras in summer women jeans shorts ( Dailey dukes at home only) t shirts necklaces braclets sneakers. Sweatshirts jackets. Sweatpants lounge pants sleep wear etc 24/7 . but not all at once lol

[Nikki A.]

I don't think I really pass even when I go all out. However I've had women say I am not recognizable from my male side. I really don't care what people think, i do it for me and no one else.

[nikkiwindsor]

I've been out in public a handful of times and I don't pass. But, several men have been attracted to me nonetheless. And I'm completely unrecognizable as my wife and daughter, several years ago, inadvertently saw old pics of me. My wife after studying the pics and knowing that I liked to dress figured it was me. My daughter didn't know who the woman in the picture was. And I've shared pics of me transformed with a SA and owner at a wig boutique. They genuinely said they couldn't believe the transformation I achieved with makeup and a wig and wouldn't have known that it was me. Nikki

[Alice_2014_B]

I dress to be passable when I fully dress up.
Other than that, like most everyone here, I'll just wear whatever to get me by.
:)

[Yinlingyen]

I dress fully or not at all.
By fully I mean everything.....head to toe, jewellery, high heels, wigs, forms, eye lashes, fake nails....ect
I don't really dress to pass in mind. I dress what I feel like to......which is most cases very girly or womanly (halter dresses, off shoulder, thin straps, high heel sandals...ect this is what make me feel good and feel womanly.

[Charlessa]

I just dress as a guy in women's clothing. I always wear panties which are obviously never seen. I usually have a bra on which should be noticed but I'm not sure they see. I often wear flared women's jeans and a t shirt. leggings or yoga pants all the time. and I sometimes goog out in a skirt. today I was roaming about in a pair of Victoria's Secret cropped workout tights and I changed into a mini skirt and tshirt to buy some crafts. had a 4 day beard going too. that's just how I do it and it feels right for me

[UNDERDRESSER]

So far I have been wearing skirts pretty much full time for about 18 months. Want to find a dress that works, but no luck so far. I can't imagine a situation where I would have to go back to pants, I hope it doesn't happen, I would hate it. I wear men's tops and I don't look anything like a woman, and that's fine, I don't particularly want to. I've had no issues at all so far. Several compliments from ladies though.

[Meg East]

I make no effort to pass, i wear what i want to wear which doesn't include makeup or wigs.

[Tina L.]

I dress to be dressed in women's clothing, nothing more. I like who i am in male mode too.

[NatalieGirl]

Unfortunately, I could not pass if my life depended on it. I dress to look and feel feminine. I become a different person for a while.

[Kiwi Primrose]

I grew up loving the feel of lingerie and the look of skirts and the way they swirl when you are walking.
That is why I prefer feminine clothing.
My wife always liked my beard and that is why I will never try to pass.
Conchita helped but she can carry it off.

[Brenn]

I wear women's clothes all the time and everywhere but do not try to pass: panties, nylons, jeans, shorts, leggings, ballet flats are all from the women's department. Some of my t-shirts and turtlenecks are as well.

[Tami Joy]

I dresses to please me an sometime I look like a woman should be sometime I don't.

[julia marie]

Jeanine. If I go out of the house -- other than when i underdress -- I try to fit in with women, not necessarily to pass. I'll never pass on reasonably close inspection. So, that means wig, makeup, forms, everything. Just my preference, but I guess I want to feel as feminine as possible. If you feel good in your approach that's great. Enjoy!

[Lacy PJs]

I'm primarily in it for the feel of the clothing so I can relate. Every once in a while, I wonder would it be like to do the whole routine but haven't really ever gone there. So, if it feels good... DO IT!

Lacy PJs

[Karmen]

I think we all do that often. Whenever we underdress or combine female clothes and accessories with male clothes, we are actually dressing to dress, not to pass. I do that almost on daily basis (mostly underdress, sometimes I wear not so obvious female shoes or pants). I fully dress only when I go out at night and that is not very often.

[lingerieLiz]

When young I dressed to pass. Now days I dress for comfort. Most of my clothes are fem and I wear panties and bra most of the time. I'm pretty well accepted.

[Jocee]

All the time. Even, went to the beach yesterday. Womens short jeans, and tank top, with sandals. Have a bikini bottom that I wore while I walked the beach. :)

[wendy]

since my wife will only let met dress up as Wendy in the household, my goal is not to pass. However, when I do dress I try to do the whole kit and caboodle.

[Marcelo]

I don't know if I've ever really tried to pass. I have had people think I was a woman on occasion until they heard my voice and take a closer look. One lady, who was drunk late at night at a costume party, vehemently disputed that I was really a male. She went for my skirt and if she had been successful she might have been really convinced that I was a woman.

I become Marcelo Hunter when I go out as my zombie fighting hero who is dressed up as a cheerleader by his older sisters. I thoroughly shave my arms and legs and even wear panties under my skirt but I don't try to act feminine except in jest as my character would do in his life. Everyone seems to like it and I have a great time doing it.

[Fiona123]

I'm sure I would not even remotely pass. The rare times I get to dress, it's for myself.

[Jamie Erikson]

I do both, I like to dress to pass but also just to have somethings on. Whenever I can I like to wear lipstick and earrings - especially big hoops or dangley ones. I just dressed up before a pastor friend the other day and she was amazed how well I looked!

[Tracii G]

My everyday attire is from the womens section but I don't dress in 100% girl mode everyday.
No thrill to wearing womens items its just what I like to wear.

[TracyT]

I am 6'2" with long hair, broad shoulders and a fair amount of hair (I do keep my legs shaved). In my 20s I could almost pass, with my girlfriends' help, but these days, in my 40s, it would be much more difficult and, frankly, more time and expense than I'm willing to spend. I wear women's clothing 80% of the time, but it's mostly capris, unisex tops, Keds or women's sandals, light makeup, etc.--in other words, not enough to really appear as "crossdressing" in the liberal West Coast city where I live. When I do crossdress I go all the way: skirt, blouse, hair done, makeup done, bra, breastforms. I still don't "pass," and that's OK by me. My wife is accepting but prefers not to go with me when I'm fully dressed. (She is totally fine with everything else I wear, including toenail polish and light makeup daily.) Frankly I find this distinction to be useless--no offense to any of you who make the time and effort to be seen as female, but for me I feel like I should be able to wear what I like and feel comfortable in regardless of my gender. I like being a guy in a skirt and I don't mind being seen that way.
Thanks!

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LOL I know exactly what you mean about dresses, UNDERDRESSER. I wear skirts all the time & am forever shopping for a dress that will be flattering but have mostly struck out. Recently I spent close to a full afternoon at the mall and shopped in J.Crew, J.Jill (my favorite store), Nordstrom, and Macy's, being completely up front about what I was looking for (a sporty dress that I can wear with Keds or with low-heeled pumps). All of the saleswomen were super helpful and friendly, and I finally found at Nordstrom's a Toad & Co. V-necked knee-length stretchy dress that actually fit and I felt comfy in. The salesgirl said "That looks really cute on you." So I bought it. I've worn it in public a couple of times and I must say wearing a dress takes a lot more courage, for me, than wearing a skirt.
Keep shopping!

[UNDERDRESSER]

Tracy, is the problem the fit? i.e. broad shoulders and narrow hips? If so, try eshakti.com they will customize the fit for a reasonable fee. They do good work, my GF has several of them and is delighted. Her problem is the exact opposite, curvy hips, narrow waist, very short torso, and ...ehemm, "streamlined" upper body. (her words)

I will be ordering one myself as soon as I have enough spare cash, my additional problem is the neckline, it's pretty much got to be a button up style, all the others just don't work for my own self image.

[ellbee]

Nowadays I'm simply dressing for aerobics (at home).

Afterwards, I'll shower & change into some clean athletic/dance apparel for comfort.


No wig, no heels, no make-up... All gone in purges of yesteryear.

Seems kind of a time-consuming pain to me these days, really.


A nice soft, stretchy dress or two might be in the cards at some point, perhaps as it gets colder. And beyond that? Who knows. In no rush.


For now, the idea of getting all dolled-up & going out just doesn't excite me like it used to.

And yes, I've passed enough times before. But this chapter is all about working out & comfort.


Works for me! :shades:

[Leslie Mary S]

Since I am now a stay in the house girl, I do light make-up, wear a skirt over panties, and top over forms and Bra. deck shoes or penny loafers too.
Make-up is a natural to pink lip stick and mascara and earth-tone eye shadow. I have been working on teaching myself to put on mascara to get longer lashes.

My GG support team say I have better legs than most woman and want to know How I can wear 4" heals for hours. (Good fit, wide sizes).

Occasionally I go full out and set up the photo equipment and back-drop and try a few shots (about 80 each session with 3 outfit changes). The shots give me a chance to see what I have been trying to do with my make-up and what others would see if I were to go out. I am no May West nor Marilyn Monroe, Not even a Betty White. But then I'm not Phillis Diller (stage attire/make-up) either. I am just a typical large heavy woman.

The only thing that makes me stand out is my size. 6 feet tall, bare footed, and 225 pounds and large hands. Size 22 dress.

After may years I just got my ears pierced 2 weeks ago, My support person who lives in a neighboring state doesn't know yet. (grin) I am going to surprise her on her next visit.

[DIANEF]

I have limited time for dressing so when it happens I tend to make the most of it. I do the full works from top to toe, always skirts, dresses, never pants, full make up, heels ect. I don't wear anything on non dress days, I have in the past but it always left me feeling it wasn't quite enough, so with me its now all or nothing. As for passing, I think I could, just, in a very dark place full of short sighted people!!

[ellbee]

"As for passing, I think I could, just, in a very dark place full of short sighted people!!"


Passing at a straight club isn't always all that difficult.

Just sayin'. ;)



And Halloween *is* coming up, as a potential cover, if ever needed.



(I recommend going with a larger group, if possible, preferably a mix of both women & men.)

[DIANEF]

It was meant as a joke Laura...

[SophieLiz]

I am 6 ft 3 and I have huge hands and feet. In a photo I could maybe pass as female but in rl I stand no chance. I suppose this leaves me free to wear what I want to wear without boundaries, since I know I won't pass regardless of what I put on.
This is a good thing in a way, since what I like wearing are over the top ball gowns with full petticoats. Things that the average woman wouldn't wear except for really special occasions.
I've found the best place for me to go out dressed are goth events. Even though I don't "dress goth" (although my fashion sense is starting to lean towards a goth style of late), nobody there cares that I am a man in a dress. They just accept that I am who I am.

I figured out after attending a goth weekend, I may not be able to pass, but I can still look good.

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I have limited time for dressing so when it happens I tend to make the most of it. I do the full works from top to toe, always skirts, dresses, never pants, full make up, heels ect. I don't wear anything on non dress days, I have in the past but it always left me feeling it wasn't quite enough, so with me its now all or nothing. As for passing, I think I could, just, in a very dark place full of short sighted people!!

Like me, all or nothing. Except when I wear a slinky nightie to bed

[DIANEF]

I'd try that SophieLiz, don't think my wife would be too impresssd !!! Just to add though, my sons girlfriend is very into the Goth scene, I'll have to get her to make me up one day 'for halloween' or somthing and give me a legit excuse to go out.

[Mayo]

I wouldn't pass either - I have a beard, and the one time in the last 4 decades that I shaved it off I looked like Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies. I don't go out dressed, and at home I wear a skirt, panties, cami top and sometimes a bra. I don't paint my nails, wear makeup or jewellery, so for me it's about the comfort and feel of the clothes on my body. I like the freedom of skirts and dresses. The wig shown in my avatar photo is a cheap one I picked up in a Hallowe'en store and I only wear it when taking pictures.

[SophieLiz]

I'd try that SophieLiz, don't think my wife would be too impresssd !!! Just to add though, my sons girlfriend is very into the Goth scene, I'll have to get her to make me up one day 'for halloween' or somthing and give me a legit excuse to go out.

If you could get away with it with regards to your wife, I'd definitely give a goth night a go. Never met a more welcoming group.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm actually going to a goth themed masquerade ball next week. I can't wait.

[misschris]

I feel as if I could pass. If I had a good make up helper and stylist. I want to go to New Orleans this weekend for the festival.

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goth sounds fun!

[LPark]

Well I used to pass. But that was 30 years ago. At 72 and nearly 100 lbs over weight its a stretch. Still when I travel I some times bring an outfit for going out to dinner. Jeans and a sweater with heeled boots and a little make up. Oh to be 40 again? Maybe not.

[Maryesther M.]

At age 74 , 6'2" and 85Kg I wouldn't 'pass' in 1000 years, but I dress the full Monty in private just for my own personal pleasure when I am alone for most of a day at least. I do like to take some photos each time. This gives me something tangible & prolongs the overall pleasure as each dressing-up day is an event, nowadays. With all the femme gear on, especially the wig I look some 25 years younger, & that's always a real turn-on for this 'old codger'.

M.