I want to go out

[Lori_Lyn]

There is a Drag Queen revue coming to town next month that I would like to go to. dressed to the nines of course. I am trying to decide on the best way to ask my wife and going behind her back is not an option. I tried that some years back and it almost cost me my marriage.
I told her about my night out after the fact, I still remember the high I was on, but not for her, we worked through some things.But one of her rules is I don't dress up when she is around and now she never goes any where either. I thought the show would be CD friendly and would love to dress and go out to it. The wife will most likely not want to go as she doesn't care for such things. She has started tolerating me to wear a dress in the day time so I think she my be coming around a bit. I am thinking honesty, just sitting her down face to face looking her right in the eyes and asking her. What can she say no? It has been three years since I last dressed to the nines and would love to try it again.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Lori

[Krisi]

You know your wife better than we do so it's you who has to decide how to bring it up.

I don't think trying to sneak out behind her back is a good idea. You need to figure out the best way to tell her about the event and tell her you want to go to it. She may or may not agree to go with you and she may not want you to go either. "Letting" you go may be an admission of acceptance in her mind and she may not be ready to admit that her husband is a crossdresser.

If you go alone, the chance of being recognized is slim, provided your female presentation is good. If she goes with you, people may recognize her and put two and two together or ask who the woman she is with is.

Sometimes it's best to go out in a different town, not your own, especially if your wife goes out with you.

[Pat]

Why not tell her what you just told us?


There is a Drag Queen revue coming to town next month that I would like to go to. dressed to the nines of course.

It seems like a pretty concise statement and a very clear way to open the conversation.

[Lori_Lyn]

Thank you for your thoughts, that is what I thought to. It is in a different town and now if I can find the right time to broach the subject.

[Taylor186]

I've gone to drag shows in Vegas and a big city near me. Chances are you'll be the only audience member that is crossdressed, unless there is a CD convention/group in town at the same time. If you want to dress to the nines and go out just do it, if your wife agrees.

[Tracii G]

If you want to go then tell her what you told us.
If she doesn't want to go thats fine but at least ask her if she would like to go with you.
You have the right to do things you want to do that make you happy just like it is for her.

[leannejacobs]

This may sound unorthodox but I've signed onto a similar site to this, difference being my wife knows about the other and has full access, I vent my frustrations and needs on it and she obviously sees them, I use it normally too of course so as not to be too obvious, it seems to work.
Through my experience, honesty is the best policy though, maybe you should assert your male dominant self and "tell her you need to go" no pussy footing, "darling, I love you and I need this!" As you said, what can she say, as above though a different town would be easier for her to accept, they fear us being outed just as much as we do, they're not being selfish, they genuinely care for us and know how difficult life could be if you were outed.
I think you need to sit down and have a hart to hart with her.

[Lori_Lyn]

It is for an LGTB pride day event, so I thought they may be a little more accepting of CD's

[Lana Mae]

Lori, as I said on another thread : honesty is the best policy!! Like you said the worst she can do is say "No" Best wishes Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie47]

I looked up Rigby, Idaho. The town has a population of less than 4,000 people. That is fairly small. I don't know anything about the venue for the performance. If you're becoming increasingly open with dressing at home as you indicated with your comment that "she started tolerating me to wer a dress in the day time.." I think you and your wife need to have a "sit down" and discuss the entire cross dressing situation. This is something that is important to you. Your age is in the fifties. What is going to happen when you retire? I totally understand your wife's reluctance to participate in your cross dressing, but, at some time she really needs to acknowledge your needs.

If Rigby is such a small town, I think there is a strong possibility you would encounter people you know. How would self outing yourself go over in your circle of friends and family. Not just with you, but, the fallout with your wife? Maybe after explaining your needs, ask her if she would go with you....not dressed to the nines. I know there may be a different outcome than your envision....having a good time and enjoying the show which may loosen up her opposition or outright revulsion.

I don't know how long you have been married to your wife, but, at age 54 she should have some idea of who you are outside of the cross dressing needs.

[shellybme]

I have had the same urge. There is a place in NJ that caters to CD's. They do full make up and have any outfit you can imagine. I have thought about going and not saying anything but I hate hiding things. Its not a good practice to have when married. So I am still on the fence about it too. Just sharing.

[BrittanyB]

I would just tell her that you would like to go and ask if she'd mind? It seems like you are able to talk about it so it is not something that is "off limits", right?

[CherylFlint]

You’ve got yourself a major problem.
On our first date I told my wife I was a crossdresser.
She said to come over to her apartment Sat. morning and dress in the bathroom and she how she could handle it.
When I came out of the bathroom her first words were, “Let me help you with your make-up”.
And she’s been helping me for the last 20 years.
We were married within the year.
My wife says for your wife to “get with it” and have fun.
So have fun.

[Lori_Lyn]

After sleeping on it, I believe the event is a bad idea, but the going out isn't if I can think of a CD friendly place nope can't think of any around this area.
So I like that I shall start with a back wax at a salon and go slow from there and keep slowly dressing up. I may get there one day.
Thank you for your advice

Lori:)