Purge regret - for the last time?

[julielivingmylife]

Well I've spent quite a bit of money in recent weeks re-building a basic stock of women's clothes after my last purge. It feels great to be back and this time I'm determined not to purge, no matter what my feelings in the months or years ahead.

I do have a lot of regret when I think about some of the things I've lost and the money I've had to spend. I don't think I own anything more than 1 month old now and I've been crossdressing and buying women's clothes for decades. Everything has gone at some point and my wasted spends must go into thousands.

Has anyone else had persistent purges or is it just me? How did you finally stop?

[Cheryl T]

I think the vast majority of us have had multiple purges.
I stopped when I finally accepted that this is part of me. A good part and not something to be ashamed of and feel guilty about. Once that was done I knew my wardrobe would go through changes, but that would be because of wearing things out, not throwing things out.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Julie,

I too have purged more than once. I'm with Cheryl on this - I have accepted crossdressing as part of my life and I'm good with that, so no more purges for me.

Beth

[Stephanie47]

I think the extent one decides to purge is somewhat related to when self loathing occurs. Or when a wife screams "Get rid it or else!" I've never purged. I even have a hard time getting rid of some dresses or slips that no longer will fit me. Maybe I'm to cheap. Anyway, my definite period of self loathing occurred when I was a teenager and my source of women's clothing was limited to my mother's wardrobe. When I was in the army, specifically the infantry, all sense of being "unmanly" rapidly disappeared. Also, being among men and only men for long periods of time without any desire for men sort of taught me my desire to wear women's clothing had nothing to do with my sexuality.

[julielivingmylife]

I agree that acceptance is a big part - I've been really stressed with work of late and I've not been drinking so I think I needed an outlet of some sort. Seeing my cross-dressing as something that will always be with me and can be beneficial (makes me happier and less stressed) is a start - and I feel that's becoming clearer now.

[Lana Mae]

Purged as a teen! Did not realize what was going on!! Now that I realize have not/will not purge! In my old age have accepted who/what I am and am happy!! Accept who you are!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Judy-Somthing]

When I was a teen 40 years ago I purged quite a few times. I would cut everything up or sometimes I burned it and polyester makes nasty smoke.
We all learn that purging has nothing to do with stopping us. Just keeps the stash size down. I'm up to five boxes again!

[Dee Baker]

Been there done that many times. Aside from the money are things that cannot be replaced as they are no longer available. Cheryl said it well "I stopped when I finally accepted that this is part of me".

[Krisi]

If you really want to stop purging, just tell yourself not to do it. It's a simple as that. You should be able to control what your body does.

Consider this though - If you were an actual woman, you would have turned over most of your wardrobe through the years anyway. Things go out of style, you got older and certain things are no longer appropriate for your age, and you would have gained or lost (or both) weight.

[Desiree2bababe]

Oh Lord, I so regret the purges, so many nice dresses, sweaters, heels, wigs.........it never ends.

[Being_Me]

I had a few early purges. I wish I hadn't destroyed pictures of me taken at about 20 years old. The pictures were terrible, but I'd love to remember what I looked like.

Now I may not open certain drawers for a while, but I know I'll eventually be back, so everything stays!

[Dana44]

I purged many times and wish I still had some of my old pumps. But in my fifties I said to myself to never purge again. So, now I have quite a lot of my women's clothes. But do not purge any more. I do recycle some old clothes but I do go through them carefully.

[RADER]

The word (Purge) is a bad word; should never be used as a CDer in any form.
Storage is a better way to go; Pack it up in some boxes, and put into
the Attic, Basement, Garage Ceiling, Etc.
In short, "Don't trow away,-Put it Away"
Rader

[AmyH]

I have purged multiple times, lost hundreds of dollars in the rebuilding process. I have excepted that cross-dressing in apart of me but my SO had not. While my stash was a lot bigger before, I have a small collection that I intend to keep. I even purged some photos that I wish could get back.

[shellybme]

I have purged 3-4 times. The shoes, the dresses and even a couple of costumes all gone. Thank God and my wife that I no longer am going to purge.

[CONSUELO]

I'm sure that many cross dressers on this site will tell other members over and over - don't purge! It does not help or eliminate the desire to cross dress and you will have wasted a huge amount of money. If you are having guilt feelings, get a box with a lock and lock everything away for a while until you reach equilibrium again,

[JenniferMBlack]

I am one of the few that has not purges. Downsized a few times and miss some of the things I have gotten rid of. But gives me an excuse to get new things which is good some times.

[trishacd]

I got rid of some clothing i loved.I will never give into that urge again.I think it comes down to realizing you have got this monkey on your back forever and cant do anything about it. The older i get the stronger my fem side becomes.
Good luck to you

[Lee Andrews]

Had a big one about 20 years ago. Stopped for almost a year, Lee came back with vengeance but I also came to realize this is me and it's not going to change. That was the big eye opener for me, accepting who I am. I've gone through some times of indifference with Lee but her stuff sat in the closet till I was ready to resume. Lately I've been going through a night gown phase, just have to wear one to bed these days for some reason, no need for makeup, daytime clothes or wigs. But that stuff is there waiting for the urge to resurface because it will in time.

[Diane Smith]

Fortunately, I've never purged. I do buy a lot of clothes, and over the years I've had several changes of style and sizes, so there is a fairly constant flow of old stuff out as new replaces it. But somehow my collection mainly continues to grow ...

- Diane

[Lauren Richards]

I too have purged, and a while ago decided that who I am is important to embrace, and to stop trying to be someone else.

Looking back, it was always an emotional purge which drove the clothing purge. Trying to force myself to stop breathing/being for a while. Like breathing, you can stop for a while by sheer willpower. For a while. In order to live, and live well, we must breathe, and eventually embrace that part of us which is often the hardest to treasure, to hold, to understand. Different for each of us.

Take care of being you.

Lauren

[redtea]

i haven't purged ever. i did throw a couple things that didnt work out but nothing on the scale of purge everything.

I did think about it once in 2012, i made an effort to give up on acting in a way i thought was unacceptable to male standards. went 63 days without CDing (it was really just panties and stocking at the time). I guess i set myself up for failure by not purging, im just strongly against wasting money and was worried that a relapse would be expensive. i honestly don't even remember the 2 months i spent suppressing the urges. After 2 months i decided i wasn't even benefiting anyone by being "normal", i was fighting a hard battle for NOTHING. So i decided that i would wear whatever i wanted and would never try to force myself to conform for the sake of nothing.

[Jillian Faith]

Had a big one about 20 years ago. Stopped for almost a year, Lee came back with vengeance but I also came to realize this is me and it's not going to change. That was the big eye opener for me, accepting who I am. I've gone through some times of indifference with Lee but her stuff sat in the closet till I was ready to resume. Lately I've been going through a night gown phase, just have to wear one to bed these days for some reason, no need for makeup, daytime clothes or wigs. But that stuff is there waiting for the urge to resurface because it will in time.

Same here purged everything while going thru a bad divorce and did not dress again for over 5 years.


Fortunately, I've never purged. I do buy a lot of clothes, and over the years I've had several changes of style and sizes, so there is a fairly constant flow of old stuff out as new replaces it. But somehow my collection mainly continues to grow ...

- Diane

I don't buy a lot of the latest or fad styles and stick mostly to the classics that never go out of style which cuts down on the need to get rid of out of style pieces. I do thin the heard occasionally but learned from a GG friend a few years ago that a girls weight sometimes goes up and down therefore it's best to keep a set of fat clothes in the corner of your closet just in case.

[Michelle 51]

I use to purge years ago.Like most of the girls who commented I don't anymore.I,ve learned to accept my femme side.I regret throwing out all all those clothes.

[Krisi]

If you were trying to quit smoking, you wouldn't keep a carton of cigarettes around. If you were trying to quit drinking, you wouldn't keep a bottle of whiskey around.

If you are trying to quit crossdressing, keeping a box of bras, dresses, wigs and women's shoes around is going to make it far more difficult to quit.

I'm not trying to say anyone should quit, just stating facts.

[Sharon B.]

I purged back in the first of March, I had fell in February and dislocated my shoulder. My neighbor got hold of my cell phone and called my sister to tell her about it as I was unconscious. Both my sister's and brother-in law showed up the hospital. I got worried that they would get to snooping the next time they came down to take me to the doctor for a checkup and purged everything. About a month afterward I realized that wasn't the case by then it was too late. I have been slowly building it back up and kicking myself in the process.
I hope to be able to go out shopping here locally in the next few months and purchase some blouses, skirts, dresses, makeup and shoes. I do want to get a manicure done.

[JenniferMBlack]

If you were trying to quit smoking, you wouldn't keep a carton of cigarettes around. If you were trying to quit drinking, you wouldn't keep a bottle of whiskey around.

If you are trying to quit crossdressing, keeping a box of bras, dresses, wigs and women's shoes around is going to make it far more difficult to quit.

I'm not trying to say anyone should quit, just stating facts.

Maybe that's why I have never purged, I have never tried to quit. The closest was when I stayed with my sister for a few months I wasn't going to dress while there with her boys at her request. I didn't last the first month and had to have at least a skirt, but kept it to only the bedroom.

[Nikki A.]

I had purged when I was younger. Now I simply go through my stuff and throw out or recycle what I don't wear or that does not fit. When my wife passed away, I did go through her things , kept some things I liked and donated a whole lot of things.
My daughter originally wanted nothing, but after a while she picked out a few things of hers (and also some of my things). What was I going to say no those dresses are mine LOL.

[Jill999]

No purging here, just buying like a little demon.

[Cami]

I've only purged once about 7 years ago. I will never do that again. I lost a lot of good dresses and other things. I don't know why I did it. I've been
crossdressing since I was 14 so you think I would have purged long before. I am not ashamed or feel like this is wrong. It just feels right to me and I
have no problem with it.

[SamanthaDarling120]

I know I probably sound dumb but I'm new to all this but what is purging? Throwing away our female wardrobe?

[Laurenlovecd]

I have purged three times, but not in a few years. I lost one wig that I absolutely loved that is no longer in production, the Kelly wig by Forever Young. I have completely accepted who I am, and why I enjoy this. I am just going with it now. If I enjoy it this much than it must be a great thing. Crossdressing brings me so much enjoyment in so many ways. I doubt I will ever purge again.