ChristinaK
08-21-2016, 08:31 AM
I've had to take a hiatus over the summer but now am able to dress several times a week.
The problem is that I feel stupid for wanting to continue. I feel like that if I were a good husband and father I would be normal and abandon Christina.
I feel like purging, but know I'll regret it. Part of me can't wait to dress again. I really want to try an actual dress too. But, the sensible part of me asks WTH I'm thinking.
For years I suppressed my desires so I could be normal. Now that I'm older, I feel like I deserve to be who I want to be. So, why am I so divided now?
Sometimes I feel like this is a stupid hobby and other times I feel like being Christina is essential for my well being.
Sorry, just ranting and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Maybe I need to get off my butt and find a TG therapist.
The problem is that I feel stupid for wanting to continue. I feel like that if I were a good husband and father I would be normal and abandon Christina.
I feel like purging, but know I'll regret it. Part of me can't wait to dress again. I really want to try an actual dress too. But, the sensible part of me asks WTH I'm thinking.
For years I suppressed my desires so I could be normal. Now that I'm older, I feel like I deserve to be who I want to be. So, why am I so divided now?
Sometimes I feel like this is a stupid hobby and other times I feel like being Christina is essential for my well being.
Sorry, just ranting and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Maybe I need to get off my butt and find a TG therapist.