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ChristinaK
08-21-2016, 08:31 AM
I've had to take a hiatus over the summer but now am able to dress several times a week.

The problem is that I feel stupid for wanting to continue. I feel like that if I were a good husband and father I would be normal and abandon Christina.

I feel like purging, but know I'll regret it. Part of me can't wait to dress again. I really want to try an actual dress too. But, the sensible part of me asks WTH I'm thinking.

For years I suppressed my desires so I could be normal. Now that I'm older, I feel like I deserve to be who I want to be. So, why am I so divided now?

Sometimes I feel like this is a stupid hobby and other times I feel like being Christina is essential for my well being.

Sorry, just ranting and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Maybe I need to get off my butt and find a TG therapist.

Alice Torn
08-21-2016, 08:43 AM
Maybe its going around! After my dad died, i ordered a blue dress on Ebay, and when it got here, i tried it on, without hose or shoes, and have not put a dress or skirt combo on, for a month now. Other issues have come up, including both vehicles needing fixing, and a near fatal collision on my bicycle with a careless speeding driver. And the heat. i don't know. Maybe a few of us reach a point, where it is no longer the thrill, or worth the effort. i know i isolate , and avoid people more and more, which is not healthy. i am sure the desire will come back. As we get older, we realize we will not be alive that much longer too, and bigger issues than dressing hit home. I could be ashes right now, if that car had not missed me by six feet. Makes one think.

Ineke Vashon
08-21-2016, 08:51 AM
Regardless of Christina, are you a good husband and father? That is normal and Christina, for those of us who care and dress, is also normal. Venting in this forum is a safe way to let go of concerns. Hope you find your peace with both being a husband/father and Christina.

Ineke

Lana Mae
08-21-2016, 09:33 AM
Nothing wrong with ranting!! Talking about it usually helps some!! I usually PM mine but go ahead and let it out!! All of us go thru things like this, at least I do!!! Do not purge!! Find some time to dress, force yourself if you have too, it should help some!! Realize you can be a good father/husband and still be Christina!! Best wishes going forward Hugs Lana Mae