Lots to think about and questions for my Dr.'s.

[Emma Beth]

So, I finally go in next Monday for labs and to speak with and Endocrinologist. Most likely I will go on Hormones then as the Labs are on site at the VA. One advantage to going through the VA Health Care System for this.

I'm more excited and nervous at the same time than I have ever been in my life.

My Mom has been asking me all kinds of questions and revealing all kinds of information about me I hadn't been aware of.

As a result of this; I've been researching, very heavily, into intersexed conditions.

It's looking like I was actually born with an intersexed condition and I need to get with my Dr.'s to find out the full extent of it.

It looks like I was born with a condition in the COMPLEX OR UNDETERMINED INTERSEX DISORDERS OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT category of intersexed conditions.

On this subject, I feel more stunned than anything. I don't know what to think at this point yet. I know this, I might just pay my Therapist an unscheduled visit on Monday. Her office is also at the VA Hospital. So, that is very convenient.

My journey is on, and I already have some interesting and mind boggling turns of events.

We shall see exactly what happens next Monday.

Wish me luck, I know I need and want it this time.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You are empowering yourself... Its undeniably wonderful

I can guess you realize however however difficult and confusing it can be..

you are doing the right things..asking questions, standing up for yourself and getting treatement

keep up the good work and of course GOOD LUCK!!

[Emma Beth]

Thank you Kaitlyn.

I can't tell you how much my head is swimming right now.

I now have this overpowering urge to find out everything. I just need to know. Maybe even learn if this is the reason for my dysphoric issues.

I just don't know right now. But, all I know is that I need to know.

Growing up I only knew that I had to have two surgeries to "fix" something that seemed to be minor. But it turns out it may not be as minor as I was first lead to believe. It kind of hurts.

It's funny. Right now I can't help thinking that if that which does not kill us makes us stronger. I feel like I should be able to kick Superman's butt. LOL

I'm looking very forward to a phone call I'm expecting from someone special later today so I can talk to her.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i shared a lot of those feelings..(I'm not intersexed tho)...

what i mean is that when your life has been filled with confusion relating to your identity... and what goes on in your head doesnt seem to match "reality", you can get pretty excited about the prospect of getting rid of that confusion...no wonder we get so obsessed sometimes..