PDA

View Full Version : Maybe this will explain a lot to the older group.



Kellymay
08-29-2016, 09:03 AM
In a nutshell, when a man (usually between the ages of 35 and 60) goes through the change of life called andropause, his testosterone level decreases while the estrogen percentage increases. He becomes less aggressive and more gender neutral or softer in his actions and interests. This happens to all males to varying degrees.

Much has been discussed in terms of female menopause, and many books have been written on how to cope with this condition. However, the male counterpart to menopause - andropause - has not been discussed much. Most men have never even heard the term andropause. Although this affects every male to some extent, the medical community is just now beginning to address this condition. Of course, their information is more clinical and scientific, however there is a profound psychological aspect to andropause that still needs to be unpacked.

Most have heard the term mid-life crisis. The man goes out and buys the red sports car or takes up with a woman half his age. Even if there is no outward manifestation, all men deal with growing older and the questions that inevitably follow. Who am I? What have I done with my life? Is this the life that I want? These questions come out of a sense that time is running out, but are heightened by a change in body chemistry. That change in body chemistry is now known as andropause.

Most men are taught to be self-reliant and to “ask for directions” is often viewed as a last resort. However, consider for a moment the teen going through puberty. This would not be a good time to leave a person alone in their thoughts, nor ask them to go through that period of their life without a road map, nor any idea on why they feel the way they do. It would not be the best time for the teen to make life-changing important decisions. A teen going through puberty needs the advice, comfort and protection of family and friends to ease the transition into adulthood.

Unfortunately, an adult male going through andropause is almost always left on their own without any clue as to what is happening to their bodies. They know that something is different, but the support systems are not in place to help them through this significant change of life. Rather than embracing this time as another natural experience and honesty dealing with who they are becoming, men will try to stay it off by using drugs like Viagra, or will seek out testosterone injections. Most men however, are unaware that their bodies are naturally changing and will look outside of themselves for answers to why they feel the way they do.

For those men who have struggled with gender all their lives, during andropause these feelings of confusion can come back with a vengeance. Many men (dealing with gender identity) when they were younger joined the military, pursued the macho job or got married believing that those choices would help them fit into society and that over time the feelings and desires for the feminine would lessen and be more manageable. For some, it is a rude awakening to find out that those feelings actually increase rather than decrease. This often creates frustration and despair. This condition is sometimes referred to as “mid-life crisis.”

Usually about the time when andropause starts, the children (if they have any) are grown up and gone, and there is more time to ponder the big questions: Who am I? What have I done with my life? What am I missing? Is this who I want to be? The issue of gender identity at this time often comes back with great force and takes center stage in a person’s mind. These individuals are not driven to buy the little red sports car but rather the little red pumps. They may even begin to rewrite their life making a case for extreme change declaring that they never felt “OK” in their male persona, and that they have no choice but to make a profound change in their gender.

Fueled by hormonal change and a conviction that time is running out, they cross dress in more earnest. The release and excitement of this sort of feminine exploration may be very intoxicating and feel like a genuine choice or solution to their mid-life struggles. For some, this will lead to pursuing the feminine role full-time through hormones, prolonged periods of cross dressing and even sexual reassignment surgery (SRS). The latter is sometime prescribed as a remedy for GID. In offering choices, the medical community does not factor in as much as it should the reality of andropause (mid-life crisis). Often an older man will be asked to make life altering choices in regards to relationships, job, or self-identity when they are biologically in the worst place to do so. Some who make significant changes at this time in their life go on to live very good lives, while others when their hormones level off, see those choices as profoundly wrong in hindsight. It is always best to take it slow through these transitions and not rush into like altering change. Seek good professional, psychological and medical support before pursuing any life changing alterations.

As with most choices in life, there are many paths. Some choices are under your control while others are overwhelmingly compelling or completely out of your control.

What is key to good mental health, and to making the best long-term choice possible, is to look at your options and desires in an honest and open manner. Face the reality of what is happening now and be patient for change. Find a trusted person to walk through this time of life with and do not attempt to go through this alone.

For more information: http://www.bodylogicmd.com/for-men/andropause Andropause is marked by a decrease in testosterone, so naturally the medical community prescribes increasing artificially the testosterone levels as a treatment. The Harry Benjamin Standard of Care prescribes the female hormone, estrogen, as a treatment for gender identity disorder. There are significant health risks associated with both and still a lot of questions around their use. Our bodies change over time and some of that change is natural and should be embraced for what it is. However, there are psychological considerations as well, and for some the potential benefits are worth the physical risks. Many who have received either testosterone or estrogen treatments report that those treatments have worked well for them - others have had problems. This link is presented here so you may be informed as to the nature of andropause and treatment options available.

Luv this saying : These individuals are not driven to buy the little red sports car but rather the little red pumps.

Dana44
08-29-2016, 09:23 AM
Very nice data. However they are many of us that have significant problems since we were young and functioning well. me I a DES kid and that was a big kick to my male system, yet I turned out pretty well but always was gender fluid since very young. It took me most of my life to finally figure what was wrong with me. In my forties, I found out on a hormone test that I had female hormones. They did try to put me on testosterone. However in two weeks my BPH in my prostrate was rising and other issues were happening. So that was not a solution. I come to find out through another doctor that DES kids can only go the estrogen route. So running as a male the welcoming estrogen felt so much better than the male testosterone. So, yes the fem side of me is certainly familiar.

Amy Fakley
08-29-2016, 10:17 AM
While I suppose it's true that the naturally occurring decline in T levels we genetic males experience as we age, does affect our phychology to some extent, I'm not sure about this article.

Poking around the linked site, it seems pretty likely that this article is a bit of a trapeze ... that is, a bit of mental gymnastics equipment used to elevate ideas beyond their reach.

The problem I see here is the same problem I see with the "creation science" museum in Kentucky ... both start from a presumed infallible, unquestionable point of view, then proceed by cherry picking examples to support that point of view (and only that point of view, neatly sidestepping any challenges to it).

The site, and the article in question begin from the premise that cross-gender expression is harmful, that it is illegitimate, and that the world would be a better place if it were not present. Then it cherry picks the fact that testosterone levels naturally drop as we age, in what is (sort of) a male analog to menopause (as my wife is going through actual menopause presently, I can tell you first hand that the comparison is a real stretch to start with).

The trapeze aspect comes at the end, where the author basically says "older people who feel the need to transition, should cool their heels and have some patience, it's just male menopause!"

The subtext being that it's far better for someone to have "patience" (i.e. suffer in silence) than upset the precious social order.

Jenniferathome
08-29-2016, 10:24 AM
This is just more random data looking for a correlation. So many seem to search for an external reason why we are cross dressers. I am now 50. I had my yearly physical and all my vital stats checked, including testosterone. Mine is in the 80th percentile. And I am a cross dresser. I was a cross dresser from the time I was 7 or 8.

Rather than endocrine levels, I think Occam's Razor is better used. And a simple explanation is time. 1) we have more time to dress as we age (kids leave, we retire, whatever) and 2) time creates a weight/pressure that we were previously able to bury with lives revolving around kids, family, jobs, etc.

Time.

Tracii G
08-29-2016, 10:56 AM
One persons opinion nothing more.

Stephanie47
08-29-2016, 10:56 AM
OK, I'm almost out of my sixties and I gave up trying to figure all this out years ago. Frankly, I do not think anyone knows why a male decides to wear women's clothing. My wife thinks a lot of these sexual identity issues arrive from "living past lives." Maybe I should ascribe to that theory since it would relieve me of any inner conflicts. :) Anyway, here's what I noticed about this post.

I read your introduction post and the grammar and syntax of that post compared to this post are so totally different. With the added link to another page where one is able to sign up for something makes me believe this post is actually an advertisement and the words' source should be identified. I may be wrong. But, if I am right, then you should make an attribution in your post.

Nadine Spirit
08-29-2016, 11:01 AM
I will second what Jennifer said. I will also say, that the more established I become in my career (21 years now) the less I care what others think.

Josie
08-29-2016, 11:02 AM
I'm 64 and the "time is running out" thing ways heavy on me in all aspects of my life. As far as the chemical change in my body, I have no problem believing I lean more to the feminine side than I did when I was younger.

kayegirl
08-29-2016, 11:40 AM
Here's an opinion from one of the older generation. The whole notion that I am more likely to cross dress as I get older is a complete load of bulsh..l, sorry, rubbish. I am long past that point where I have to rationalize my feelings or desire to dress, but just for the record I started dressing at a very young age, (around 6years), and now 60years on the desire is no stronger, or weaker. What has changed is the ability, in terms of time, finance and social circumstances that make it easier.
I sometimes think that the people who produce these type of reports should get a life and find something better to occupy their time,

ReineD
08-29-2016, 11:43 AM
... and more gender neutral

What does "gender neutral" mean, in your opinion.

Even with the decrease in testosterone among males, which is about 1% per year from about age 30, males still produce a lot more T than females. Middle aged and older males are still males.

There is indeed a wide range of testosterone among men. In the chart below, the range for men above age 30 is about 270 to 1070 ng/dL with an average level of 679 ng/dL. With a 1% reduction per year after age 30, the average would be:

614 ng/dL at age 40,
555 ng/dL at age 50,
502 ng/dL at age 60,
454 ng/dL at age 70.

And even if you take the lowest testosterone level of 270ng/dL at age 30, this decreases to 199 ng/dL by age 60 with a 1% reduction per year.

Compare this to women's levels of 15 - 70 ng/dL. Not even close.

Chart: http://www.healthline.com/health/low-testosterone/testosterone-levels-by-age#Adolescence3

This doesn't mean that andropause doesn't exist. But none of the symptoms of decreasing testosterone in any of the medical websites describe a newly found desire to crossdress if a male is not a CDer to begin with. But, it does make sense to me that CDers might experience increased desires to crossdress during middle age, especially if they have more time and fewer constraints to do so.

So yes, you should go out there and enjoy your new red pumps! :)

docrobbysherry
08-29-2016, 12:16 PM
What Reine said regarding middle age and older men increasing their dressing. If they were dressers before in their lives.

However, I see the OP article as mixing apples and oranges. When most men's mid life crises occurs they don't go out and buy red sports cars or red pumps! While the super studs may be concerned about losing their masculinity, most vanilla men take it in stride.

I am one of those rare cases. A man with no apparent gender issues until my 50's. When I was completely blindsided by my sudden desires to dress and fantasize about becoming a female. I blame my meds and hormone levels. But, I don't know. When I had my T level tested it was low, but not for someone my age.

For the most part, I don't think anyone has shown that andropause can cause men to dress unless they were predisposed to anyway. Except in a very few individuals.

ReineD
08-29-2016, 12:21 PM
A man with no apparent gender issues until my 50's. When I was completely blindsided by my sudden desires to dress and fantasize about becoming a female. I blame my meds and hormone levels. But, I don't know. When I had my T level tested it was low, but not for someone my age.

But you said for years it was highly sexual for you (I remember your posts :)). The strongest side effect of decreased T among males is decreased libido, which is the opposite of what happened to you?

docrobbysherry
08-29-2016, 12:39 PM
I'm 73 now, Reine. Altho I haven't been with a woman for some time. (I'm certain I would have "performance anxiety".) :eek:

My interest in sex is high. Sometimes as licentious fantasies run thru my mind I feel it's inappropriately high. Especially considering the lackluster interest earlier in my life. I participate almost daily if I have the time in the morning. I have idea if this is normal or not?

Of course, I blame Sherry for this. As she is the primary subject of my imagination!:o

Jenny22
08-29-2016, 12:42 PM
I turned (thank goodness) 81 last month. I don't know my T nor my E levels. I have been CDing (now believing I'm TG) since my early youth, so T and E don't fit your post. Hmmmm.

suzanne
08-29-2016, 12:46 PM
The pathology lies not in the crossdressing, but in preventing people from being who they truly are.

What really happens to men around "andropause" is this. He begins to see that he was lied to for his entire life about the gender binary and the importance of proving his worthiness to retain his place on the correct side. Once we learn how big a pile of BS that is, we free ourselves to explore what's really inside. In the case of many of us, it was a fearful little girl, convinced by the lie that she must stay in her prison/closet. Freeing herself from that exile is a slow but vital growth process and regressing back to prison is not an option.

Gretchen_To_Be
08-29-2016, 12:48 PM
I wonder every time I see or hear a commercial about "Low T." I probably have Low T, but if I were ever to do anything about it, it wouldn't be to take testosterone supplements...I'd probably go the other way.

Lorileah
08-29-2016, 01:08 PM
Of course if the theory were true, you could take T supplements and you would quit dressing...right? I mean that's how they treat menopause. False logic.

SherriePall
08-29-2016, 01:23 PM
Guess I'll jump in here. Have always had the desire to dress from, probably, toddler on. Now approaching the big 7-0, I dress whenever I can and even get out once or twice a year (not counting dressing while clothes shopping).
Never had my T tested, but considering everything else, I still seem to function quite well.
I dress more than I used to because my wife has now known for over the past 15 years (not too happy about it though) and I do have more time and opportunity. If I weren't working part-time I would have more time, but then beauty products and clothes (and shoes) cost money.
Well, that's my take. The lower T theory might hold for some, but not for me.

Teresa
08-29-2016, 02:12 PM
JosiesMay,
I read this with some interest as I'm now 65 and wondered if it might apply to me. Yes I can see some details applying , I've never had my T level checked but it kicked in early before the age of 10 and has remained almost as high to the present day.
The point I'd like to comment is the mid life crisis age, when I read threads on the forum many members appear to come out in their forties. What hit me at that time was the fact that I'd worked solidly without thinking about my own needs , I still say I partly tried to bury my CDing by working 24/7 but suddenly I realised my CDing was still there just as strong and desperate to break out. It mostly felt like I was saying what about me I have needs too and I don't know what this gut feeling I've had since the age of 8-9 to want to CD . I was fit and my T level was still high but my brain was beginning to go round in destructive circles and it was making me more depressed and that's why I eventually came out to my wife, she knew something was wrong and thought it was stress.

I don't know if andropause fits into that situation or not , I feel it's more to do with the female part trying to emerge and we can no longer suppress it.
It does appear that this twenty year crisis repeats itself because it's hit me hard again in my sixties, as I say my T level is still high but now I've been determined to finally come out and totally open about my CDing . I still can't help feeling that it's not so much a depletion of the male make up but more that the female side is being fed and wants to emerge . Maybe it is more to do with a lifetime of suppression or denial that the need to dress becomes stronger, I do feel it's so much a natural part of me , now I've lost the feelings of shame and guilt.

Sorry but maybe I'm not sold on the Andropause idea, it's more to do with being born like it and the amount of time it takes some of us to truly come to terms with. It does take a lot of courage for an average man to say it's something inside that he needs to do and then go ahead and do it, society is a still the biggest controller of our needs , and possibly not our T levels.

sometimes_miss
08-29-2016, 02:44 PM
One persons opinion nothing more.
^this. While it may be the sum of one person's experience, it's nothing more than that; something to be used for reference, to see if any of it seems to coincide with one's own life. OTOH, there are a few glaring
problems with it, and critically reading their web page's referred to meta analyisis pdf document shows some odd things. One particular correllation to nothing was rather disturbing, as was references to old science which has since been disproven. Like many other products and services that are being sold to us, it looked more like it was put together more in order to appear to have a huge amount of research on their side, than actually having done it. They're mentioning '59 trials were included' makes me wonder if there are some that weren't included, as well as why they wound up with 59 of them. Read through the document here: http://www.eje-online.org/content/early/2015/11/04/EJE-15-0262.full.pdf

Much has been made about the male's 'mid life crisis', and of course the search for the male equivelent of menopause. Men don't go through a sudden change like women do. Yet, when there was none, somebody decided to invented one.

Men going out and buying a sports car and dating hot young women is only a problem for older women. There's no 'mid life crisis' going on here. Men have wanted fast, expensive sports cars, and hot, young women ever since we were in our teens. The difference isn't that he's suddenly searching to regain his youth; it's that he can finally afford what he really wants, and has enough money to attract the hot young women who now want him. The only people who are upset about this, are the ones who will lose something in the process; his old wife, his children, but not HIM. He loses nothing, and gains a lot. Same with what women like to refer to as 'trophy wives'. No man marries again to a woman just to show her off to the world. He marries someone that he wants to have sex with. Is it any surprise that might be a hot young beautiful woman? I don't think so. Sure, there will always be a few idiots who marry a woman solely for the purpose of what the world thinks about how beautiful she is (mostly closted gay men who need to have people think he's straight for whatever reasons he has), but in general, we pick women we're attracted to, we don't pick women based on what other guys want. Someone who likes tall slim blonds isn't going to go out and marry a big butt huge boobed brunette celebrity (we all know which one I'm talking about) just to show her off to the world.

Testosterone decreases gradually. The main problem during this becomes for the men who define themselves by their penis and what they do with it. Over and over we hear from men about how they can satisfy any woman, at any time, anywhere, and that they can make any women come during intercourse all by using their magnificient penis to pound away at her until she has multiple orgasms. Read any forum about sex, and see all the posts about how many hours the men claim they can maintain intercourse before they come, and how ultimately satisfied all the women are after all those hours of endless intercourse. All because they need to believe that their penis is the sole and ultimate source of female happiness. What's even funnier is the other men who believe this nonsense.

And if there wasn't some female identity about one already, he isn't going to suddenly develop one when he gets older. More likely he repressed it for years.


What is key to good mental health, and to making the best long-term choice possible, is to look at your options and desires in an honest and open manner. Face the reality of what is happening now and be patient for change.
Why change? Because we are told 'change is good'? Exactly why is change always good? If life is going great, why change it? The 'change is good' mantra is a load of crap.


Find a trusted person to walk through this time of life with and do not attempt to go through this alone.
Why not? If you're educated and can think clearly, why do we need to bring in a second opinion? Because 'we're too close to the problem to see it objectively'? That's a load of crap too, and it's one reason why I hear doctors ignoring what patients tell them. The defacto idea that someone else always knows more about us than we ourselves do is another common fallacy.

Before accepting anything as fact, read it over carefully, and examine critically what is written. Look for potential flaws. Not everything on the internet is true. Like everything else, take it all with a grain of salt.

Yours always, the eternal skeptic.

Ineke Vashon
08-29-2016, 03:47 PM
Ok, so I'm 82 (yes Dogrobbysherry, I'm older than you) CD popped out of hibernation four years ago; it had been buried deep within since high school days. My feeling is that, perhaps, the decrease in testosterone, aging, having gained some wisdom and peace, no longer having to compete in the working world has allowed me to mellow and soften my manhood if you will. Combine that normal aging process with the emergence of crossdressing into daylight, why, these two are walking in parallel and are now incorporated in my days. I am enjoying the liberated me.

I think I'll sit in my comfy recliner and have a cup of T.

Ineke

Alice Torn
08-29-2016, 05:01 PM
I am always interested in a number of theories, and points of view, research, taking what i think is legitimate, leaving the chaff. Certainly interesting.

CherylFlint
08-29-2016, 05:46 PM
Your premise is flawed. You assumed from the start that there’s a direct relation/correlation between the “little red sports car” and “dressing”, to simplify the issue.
You also state that men become ‘more docile’ during this time of ‘male metapause’.
That kind of thinking is good for the Ivy League Towers, thought-up by some tweed-wearing professor who has spent all his (or her, depending) adult life sequestered in “academia”: removed from the ‘real’ world.
It’s NOT complicated. So a little ‘X’ and ‘Y’ chromosomes got “displaced or mixed-up (not my terms: to me it’s my normal)” during time of conception: no big deal: learn to live with it.
And as far as the wife’s or girlfriend’s contribution to it all: "Go with the flow: you don’t know how lucky you are", as my wife says.
To put it short: it’s not complicated so don’t make it so.
Another point: Cross-dressing can be a curse or a blessing and it’s a heck of a lot easier if it’s a blessing, so make it so.
You only go around once, so why not make the best of it and have fun? I do and my wife enjoys dressing me so I “pass”. As she says, “I rather look at a nice looking woman than a man in a dress.”
Sorry to be the one that has to tell you, but your premise is flawed; therefor whatever conclusions you derive from a flawed premise must, too, be flawed.
Good luck with all of that.

Tina_gm
08-29-2016, 06:58 PM
It is a theory. But it would only be a theory for those who are CDers, or anyone somewhere already in the spectrum to begin with who may see or feel an increase toward femininity (MtF) I have wondered myself WHY?? why now??? I have always "felt it" but at 48 nearly 49 did it become something I felt I had to share because I could no longer fight it.

You do see many young TS women who do not have any kind of low T issues yet their brains are women's brains trapped in a male body with average T levels. That alone means the data has a serious flaw in its hypothesis. It may.... may be a factor somehow, but I think it would only at best be a small contributor, not the main reason why those of us in middle age find more desire. I think there are many factors at work which create a stronger desire. I would imagine in a lot of ways it is not even an increased desire so much as that which prohibits us is decreased.

Kellymay
08-30-2016, 07:30 AM
This does not apply to all of us, but it rang a bell for me. And your T level could be all right. But for me it did the so called PINK FOG it was like my free T was changed to Estrogen. Right down to acme that I never had before. Stress Stress Escape form life you I did a lot of thinking. If you read my intro I think it will explain a lot. I know there are a lot of different views and I respect that.
But I do luv yoga pants, and my Red Pumps.LOL

Krisi
08-30-2016, 07:49 AM
Of course if the theory were true, you could take T supplements and you would quit dressing...right? I mean that's how they treat menopause. False logic.

I do and I haven't quit dressing. Testosterone is important to our bodies for more than just sex or feeling "manly". Not being a doctor or trying to pretend I am, I won't go into it but my doctor told me it was important to maintain a normal testosterone level for "quality of life". Since he is a doctor and I am not, I believe him.

The Internet has great value as an educational tool but it also has great risks. If I wanted to, I could set myself up as some qualified doctor or researcher and publish opinions on just about anything. Nobody would know the difference.

We can explain how a car engine or an electric motor works scientifically. We cannot do the same with the human mind.

LaurenS
08-30-2016, 08:03 AM
I just got a red sports car AND red pumps!

Laura912
08-30-2016, 09:49 AM
Age: 74. Opinion of cited data: psychcobabble. Shoes for my red XK 120: red strappy sandals.

CynthiaD
08-30-2016, 03:17 PM
Hmmm ... Less T, more E, but still no boobs. Life just isn't fair!

Sister Rachel
08-30-2016, 05:51 PM
" Fueled by hormonal change and a conviction that time is running out, they cross dress in more earnest." .. ah .. but for me it becomes more of an effort to actually dress up! I'll turn 60 next birthday, I'm more relaxed about the whole thing, "out" to friends and family, my wife hangs up my dresses in the wardrobe and puts my lingerie in the drawer without ( as far as I can tell ) any stress or resentment at all, but I find that the feeling of " I'll go mad if I don't put on a skirt and tights right now" is becoming less and less frequent, having the acceptance and freedom is more important than the actual dressing. I usually wear Sloggi or Playtex briefs, but that's simply because they are soft, light and comfortable!

DIANEF
08-31-2016, 08:55 AM
I've been dressing regularly since I was about 17, I'm now 52. If I have been through the so-called andropause I havn't really noticed it. The main influences on my dressing and regularity of it are dictated by finance and opportunity not by any hormonal imbalances, I don't feel a need to do more as I get older. Some people think they need 'the answer' as to why they do what they do, which is fine if you do need it, I don't. I really think sometimes that what we do is over analyzed, but if you need that answer thats up to you. I have no idea what my testosterone levels are, and truthfully I don't really care, I've never felt 'manly' and never pretended to be, but I'm not effeminate either, I'm just 'me'.

LaurenS
09-01-2016, 06:27 AM
Shoes for my red XK 120: red strappy sandals.

Perfect. Hard to beat a sexy girl, sexy heels and sexy Jag-u-ar!

Kellymay
09-02-2016, 05:25 AM
I find myself cross my legs at the knee and folding my hands in my lap. Never did that before and never had to even think about it. But now I caught my self doing it in public, and checking to see if anyone was looking. Oh and here is another thing not in male mode this time but when I am dressed I actually think I can dance. With two left feet in 6 in heels.