Why join the Forum?

[DIANEF]

As a new member to the Crossdressers forum I'd be interested to know, particulalrly form other newbies, about why they joined and what they expect to get from being a member. I'm a person who spent a long time in isolation (as far as dressing goes) and being on here I feel that I'm part of a wider community of like minded people where you're accepted for what you are without being judged by anyone. So far its certainly been interesting, in a short space of time I've seen some wonderful posts giving great advice on many subjects, seen some funny stories, some very sad and some of particular relevance to myself. I also had a eye-opening discussion with the partner of a CDer which really altered my attitude to how I treat my SO with regards to my dressing, and I've been contacted by someone who lives not far from me about meeting one day (something I would'nt have dreamed of a few weeks ago) On the other hand I've also seen some bitchiness off some members, which suprised me a little (I won't go into details but I was accused of doing something I have not or ever would do..) So, what do others think, is it what you expected or have you been suprised at what you've found?

[SophieLiz]

I have actually been trying to find a good online support network for some time. Started on twitter but only found a couple (although I have made friends with some very open minded people on there, which is great) and so until I found this forum I was really struggling.
I love how everyone on here can be really similar in some respects but so different in others. And everybody seems willing to offer advice when another member is going through a tough time.
It looks like I may have found my online, crossdressing family

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Although I have one negative experience but I won't go into it. Apart from that, I love reading about other CD's experiences

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Diane:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are at home with so many like minded friends.

No matter what questions that you have there is a 99.786% chance that one or more of one of the lovely ladies
here will have an answer for you.

As with any group there will always be Debbie Downers, My thought is if you can't say something nice then just keep your mouth shut.

I think that you will really enjoy being a member of this wonderful forum.

I have been here for eight years and I have really enjoyed being a member . >Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[DIANEF]

Thankyou Blue Orchid. I've enjoyed it so far and look forward to being a long time member. I felt like I was in a darkened room and suddenly someone switched the light on, and as SophieLiz said, its finding your crossdressing family. Love your quotes by the way!

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Diane,

Welcome from another recent member.

I ended up here because my long dormant cross dressing bubbled to the surface again and I found myself surfing around to CD related sites. I stumbled across this one and lurked for a short time. What I found was that I wasn't alone and that there were a lot of great, supportive girls here with a wealth of information and experiences to share.

So for me,the biggest benefit to joining is the sense of community and acceptance that I now feel. I hope that with time I can give back to others here what I have been lucky enough to have received.

Elizabeth

[DIANEF]

Hi Elizabeth, I could have written almost word for word what you have posted, I'm hoping to learn a lot from being here.

[CarlaWestin]

Hi Diane. And welcome to the forum. I thought I perceived a little cattiness from some members from time to time but, I just fluff it off as wonderful personality traits.
Also, something that occasionally comes to mind, we're predominantly a gentlemen's association and possibly our maleness comes through.
I joined here for support and to have a public/private venue to experience my interpretation of the female experience.

[Cristy2]

Hi Diane, welcome to the forum. Myself, I originally followed a friend to here, but I love the idea there are so many like thinking people on here and you can find a lot of answers on here if you research the threads. Most everyone on here are very friendly and helpful. Of course, like any ocean, you may encounter a shark, but thankfully the administrators and moderators are very good about keeping them beat down.

[Ellie Summer]

I think you pretty much spoke for me, Diane. I like how friendly and active this community is. There are always plenty of new discussions and responses throughout the day. While I've dabbled with CDing throughout my life, it hit me full swing this year and I feel really lucky to have found this resource. A lot of people will feel ashamed about their CDing, but for me this site has given me the confidence to take this wonderful thing that we all share, try to understand it better, don't sweat it if I don't understand it, and most of all enjoy it! I went to a pride parade the other night, saw some drag queens dancing, saw some CDers milling around in the crowd, and everyone was cheering them on. I so wish that I had taken advantage of the opportunity and dressed along with them. Next year!

[Alice 23]

Hello, and welcome from yet another greenhorn. I joined for a lot of reasons, one of which is the prompting of my amazing and supportive SO, another is sure to the perceived demographics in my area, I feel extremely isolated. I have also learned a lot from the awesome members of this forum.I also love reading people's stories of going out. They give me so much confidence to get out there! I would say that's been the biggest boost; confidence. Don't get me wrong, everything is great, but the daily boost of confidence tops the list!

[DIANEF]

Thankyou all for responding! I cant get over how good it feels to finally be able to be in contact with those like myself. As some have said, being her gives you the confidence to try something new, for me it will be my first venture out in daylight. Having read many stories of peoples experiences I realise it's probably not as daunting as you would think. That's just one example of course, I'm sure there will be others. x

[Louise DK]

I joined the forum, so I can remind myself that Im not the only one that does this. It May indeed be very wierd, but atleast Im not alone.
When the urge to dress came back after 9 years, I finally understood that this desire aint going nowhere, Im stuck with this. So I wanted to rid myself of the shame, guilt, selfloathing and frustration that comes with crossdressing, and it helps to assure yourself that you are not alone. So here I am, I dont post much, I mostly just read.

Louise

[RADER]

I am with Louise on this one.
I new other people dressed, but I felt that I was alone in the world in wanting to dress.
I found this site by accident, and loved being here ever since. It has given my much
confidence in who I am and what I like to do. I now wear a bra every day, I been wearing
panties for years, but the bra for about 2 years now.
I do not go out, I have a Mustache, and reluctant to remove it, It is just me.
But I dress every day that I can remain indoors at home; How ever I have gone out a few
times to a drive through wearing a jean skirt. That was t thrill for me, I know it was nothing,
but it was a big deal to me.
This forum has been an inspiration to me to continue my dressing, learning from the others here.
Rader

[Jenniferathome]

Diane, I joined, I think like most, to either confirm or deny that I am "just a normal cross dresser." I think knowing that there are so many of us help one feel less "weird."

The more pertinent question for those that have been here some time is, "Why stay on the forum?" And to that, I have to respond that 1) to try and bring some objectivity and 2) help those that want to come out to their SO or help the SO get past the shock of a coming out.

[misschris]

I just joined the forum this past weekend. Trying to figure it all out. I joined to find other men like me who like to dress and to try to understand why society has such a problem with it. I'm 53 and am just trying to come out with my wife, but that isn't working. So I need some other support to convince me that I am not crazy.

[reb.femme]

Hi Diane,

A south London girl here. I found the site about four and a half years ago and it opened my eyes to the numbers of like-minded / similar souls that populate this Earth of ours.

I had always felt like a weirdo and some sort of perv for so many years. Now I know I am...according to some social media anyway. :heehee:

I actually love being a CD , in fact, I'm happily cursed. My wife is not of the same opinion though, but that's the way it is and we work with it.

Also, the GGs provide a counter balance and insight that I don't possess, due to my genetics too.

I found the courage to finally come out from this site, I was edging towards it anyway, as I gained from the experiences and many points of view of the members. Other than that, it's crap. :heehee:

Becky

[Tracii G]

I found this place by accident myself and I'm sure glad I did.
This site along with finding a local support group has helped me to understand myself.
The thing to understand as a newbie and I found this out quickly you better be on your toes and ready to deal with not so positive responses from other members.
Just be honest and be yourself and you should be fine.

[ellbee]

When the urge to dress came back after 9 years, I finally understood that this desire aint going nowhere, Im stuck with this.

Oh, wow! I thought my recent 3 1/2 years was a lot! Was a "record" for me, anyway.



Anyway, GG's typically tend to be more sociable than males, so it seems this forum is our way of doing the same for this part of us. I understand not everyone here can pass "out in the wild," and neither did I 100% of the time. And also perhaps nor do we feel particularly comfortable discussing this side of us with "regular people" in the real world. So, this is like our little online international refuge?

Lots of stories & experiences to share. Advice to give & receive. All that good stuff!



I finally registered after lurking for a bit because, well, how could one *not*?? LOL


This is actually my first CD forum where I became a member. Sure, back in the late '90s I had my little GeoCities page (in the West Hollywood neighborhood, of course)... And I would get visitor comments from time to time, saying how great my photos looked, blah blah.

I also used to do Yahoo Chat... Is that thing even still around? For my profile I had used a photo of me all dolled-up, just to test passability -- I'd enter a non-CD chat room, and within just a few minutes, I'd start getting a load of private messages popping up from all these horny guys, thinking I was a real chick, ha! Sometimes I'd reply if their message struck me a certain way.

One other thing I used to do online was be a part of a very active "free-for-all" type forum (kind of like reddit, I suppose)... And there I created my persona as "the token crossdresser." Most people, including myself, had a lot of fun with it.


But is any of that really any way to do what we do here? Nope!

I wanted & even *needed* to do something more. It was about time! Lots of stuff over the years during my journey that I really never had to opportunity to discuss with others. I don't think it's healthy to keep things bottled up, even if it's simply sharing experiences that others might be able to relate with. And perhaps some can learn from me, just as I've learned from some of you?


Seems like the perfect place for this kind of stuff. So happy to be here! :)

[CONSUELO]

It is the only sensible community for cross-dressers/transvestites that I know of. Other places just seemed silly or overly focused on sexual issues. I also find it refreshing that the SO's of transvestites are members and offer their thoughts and opinions. In short it is a grown-up site that focuses on important issues that we all face.
While is is a 'broad church" with a wide spectrum of personalities and opinions, I like the fact that it is a place where strongly held opinions can be aired publicly. There are members who only underdress, others who are deep in the closet, many who are quite open as well as those who have decided to transition. I have learned a lot from the diverse membership. Sometimes it does get a bit "catty", if that is the right word, but no more than other social groups.

[Tracii G]

Passing 100% for any of us is a stretch.
Out of 100 girls here there might be 2 that could really pass and thats OK.
Its more about your attitude/confidence and how you carry yourself out in the real world.
Consuelo I totally agree

[Fiona123]

For me this is a safe place to express my feminine self. I enjoy reading the stories of others, though some are heartbreaking. I admire the courage shown, especially by those brave enough to post pics.🌺

[MartineCD]

Hi Diane

Reading the comments from Elizabeth G and Ellie Summer struck a deep chord with me. After many years of dabbling Summer 2016 saw a massive leap in my CDing. As others have said I felt like I was alone in doing this but after searching online I stumbled across this forum and after reading some of the threads I knew I had to join. The joy I felt at realising I wasn't unique made me feel at home.

Reading about others journies and exploits gave me the confidence to do what I never thought I could.

I thank you all for sharing what in my case and I'm sure in many others is a deeply personal and private part of our lives.

M xx

[GBJoker]

I've been deeply surprised by what I've found by joining this forum. It's completely unexpected. So many bad experiences on this site that it makes me feel more alone than ever. I've even buried myself deep back in the closet because of people on here.

JenniferAtHome: 3. No where else to go.

[jennifer0918]

I'm going to do me no matter what people think of me on here.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Diane

Joining this site was a form of self-validation and a way to share my joy. I had suppressed my desire to dress during 11 years of marriage. When I finally came out to my wife and found a level of acceptance I hadn't expected--but was elated to have--I felt like shouting from the rooftops. Being closeted to everyone but my wife, that wasn't possible, so this became my outlet.

It was and still is highly educational, from a "technical" point of view--all the ways to create a female illusion, from shapewear, to false cleavage, to tips on makeup, etc. It's rewarding from a social point of view as well. I've formed some nice virtual friendships with kindred souls, and have even met a forum member IRL, which was awesome. It's also an ego-boost to get positive feedback from a decent set of pics now and then.

What I have not enjoyed is the "holier than thou" attitude of some members, and some of the catty behavior. Sometimes I think that there is a competitive aspect to achieving milestones--Coming out to SO--First time out in public--Going out freely with the muggles whenever--Starting HRT--Fulltime--etc. It seems members that have been there, done that, and have those t-shirts look down on others.

I've been attacked for materialism because I have a large collection of heels. I'm not posting pics of my shoes to show off wealth (especially since just about every pair I have was under $50) but because I love them. I've had the language and thought police upbraid me for well-intentioned comments. And then there are the Mods...who valiantly try to keep order (rightly so) but occasionally get under your skin for the way they apply--or don't apply--rules. (No offense Mods--please don't disintegrate me)

I hope you continue to enjoy your time here. It's still the best site for us on the web.

Gretchen

[TrishaTX]

I needed a place to know I was not alone and clearly I am not! This forum allows me to read updates from others, get some thoughts out of my head and be accepted. That hasn't too much in my life.

[jen_ross]

I am also quite new, joined a couple of weeks ago. I guess on some level I was looking for validation, but mostly I just thought it might be fun to be part of a community of (pretend) women. I have found the ladies here to be pretty supportive, although I do not discount or dismiss the notion that there can be cattiness at times. Not remotely as much negativity here on certain travel and sports message boards that I frequent though.

[Bobbi46]

I joined because I came to realise that that here is where I am meant to be but more importantly than that was the beautiful I help and advice I received in how to go about things in different ways, on top of all this I found a new type of peace to my life, a contentment never felt before, a feeling of warmth and welcome and the joy of meeting friends who have helped me through my ups and downs, ( twice early on I considered suicide just after my wife left me) but I was stopped doing this by the kind consideration of everybody here.Joining has opened up a new world for me, a golden world of love and support, a world where expressions can be made and comments made without rancour.
A contented community is where I find myself now, and there is no going back, this is where I want to be and this is how I want to live.

[Bruce64]

I joined because I would like to explore more.

[CatchQueen]

I joined because I've been a transvestite all my life and I can relate to most of the issues brought up here.

[DIANEF]

Wow, some fabulous posts, but I should have expected that. Thankyou so much eveyone for responding,and GBJoker, I'm so sorry to here of your bad experiences, if you ever want to send me a private message feel free.

[wanda66]

I was looking for acceptance for a very long time. I pondered joining for weeks untill i took the plunge . Since, i have found that i wasn't alone and have gotten some well need advice,and i now enjoy my dressing to the fullness. I remain in the closet but from time to time i venture out into the sun lite , i dont think i would have gotten to the point if not for the encouragement of these ladys
When i joined it was the very first time that i admited to my self or anyone else that "I am acrossdresser"and it set me free

[Alice_2014_B]

I joined the forum for two main reasons initially:

1. I wanted to meet other crossdressers locally in person to go out in public with.

2. Simply for advice such as on makeup.

Now do I not only gain a lot of advice, but I also share some advice from time to time.
I've also inadvertently met and hung out with other CDers thru different means when I was looking online to join a band.
:)

[sometimes_miss]

My main reason for joining was to share what I've learned about crossdressing. Most people who crossdress have no idea why they do it, many are even afraid to find out. So I encourage introspection, and try to help remove the stigma that society has forced upon us for what is a harmless activity. Even knowing everything I do about it all, I still feel a pang of guilt for not being able to 'resist the urge' to dress up and behave as the girl I thought I was going to become. I wrote a condensed biography and place it in the 'my story' section of the writers society section of the forum, but sadly that thread has been locked, so people coming to the forum usually won't ever see all the records that those of us have contributed. And I think that's a shame. It's just as bad as hiding science books in a locked room in the back of a library. Sure, you can access them, but only if you already know that they are there.

[Karine]

I joined the forum to share and not feel alone with that secret. We are a minority with for the those like me we are in the closet a huge burden. So, it is a breath of fresh air to share with others having more or less the same feelings.
It is also pleasant and extremely valuable to read the story and advices of those we came out especially to their wife or girlfriend.

[Teresa]

Dianef,
I joined because I was in a mess and no where to turn, I can thank the support from members and some wonderful comments and also some harsh words which hurt at the time but in hindsight may have been a wake up call.
Being here gave me the confidence to seek help with counselling, now I know where I am with my CDing and what I am. The other great thing is being contacted by another UK member who invited me to her social group so I now go out to meet others which has totally changed my outlook on dressing and given me a balance I've been looking for. Going out has also altered my wife's acceptance of my CDing, she now understands that it is a need that has to be satisfied.

GBJoker I was also surprised at your comment, the forum shouldn't have had that effect, if you want to PM me to talk please feel free.

[Lana Mae]

I have only been crossdressing for a year! (serious crossdressing) This forum, these girls have helped me learn so much so fast!! They share freely and maybe it is not what you want to hear but maybe it is what you need to hear and you go on from there!! Whether they will admit it or not they care a lot about each other and you too now that you are with us!! Sit back read and learn!! I know I have and girls thanks ever so much!!! Hugs Lana Mae

[krissy]

Before i found this wonderful site i felt all alone for years i told no one now i have a place where i see others like me . I dont feel like a freak im happy with who i am Thanks to everyone here you all saved my life Thanks for being there:cheer::thumbup::gh:

[Marcelo]

I'm pretty sure it's all about sharing experiences with others of like interest. It's kind of like talking cycling with other avid cyclists as opposed to talking cycling with someone with no interest or experience. There is also the sharing of ideas, tips, funny things that happened, etc... that just wouldn't amount to a hill of beans to others.

Marcelo