Strange comment to make out of the blue

[leannejacobs]

At work today, this one guy who plays the fool was snuggling up to a colleague, head on his shoulder and rubbing his hand, there were many others there but he asked me out of the blue if I'd ever dressed as a woman?? I replied "once or twice lol" he asked "would you dress provocatively or like an older woman?" I just replied oh definitely provocatively, then he asked what size feet I had? Then thankfully he moved on to ask someone else if they had ever worn a dress,,,, what a strange moment, I don't think he knows anything, I certainly hope not, the environment I work in can be very cruel, I'm sure if I'd been seen on a site like this, my pictures would be on the notice board.

[MartineCD]

Hi Leanne

Every workplace has one colleague who acts the fool. In a place I used to work one bloke thought it was funny to buy me a leopard print thong as a Secret Santa present. The following year he bought one of the women a 'realistic feel' vibrator. I was extremely surprised that he wasn't up for sexual harassment. As appears to be the case with you I found that when questioned if I remained calm and gave direct answers whether truth or lie with no hesitation he grew bored and moved on to other sport.

[CONSUELO]

I'm glad that I don't have to work with that fool. Keep your distance, people like him are troublemakers.

[NicoleScott]

Sure I have. T-shirt, pants, sneakers.....you know, just like a woman.

[AllieSF]

In a work environment with all the concern and worry about sexual harassment and the like, it really does sound like a very inappropriate question. So, I might think that someone like that is not just curious, but a little reckless in his questions and inappropriate in the setting where asked. However, out in the real world in a general location like a bar or a party, or something similar, a question like that could be quite appropriate and fun to discuss. Here in the USA, we tend toward hypocritical Puritanism and stay away from direct questions and deeper conversations about life in general, who one may be, personal thoughts on unpopular topics. These conversations can be quite informative, entertaining and revealing about those around us and about ourselves too.

Those that know me on this site and have been out with me have already seen my ability to converse with whoever is close by. Many of my conversations include a lot of direct questions and many more true and personal answers from those total strangers. I have found out that most people want to talk about different uncommon topics and to talk about themselves too. I have also found that some direct questions can break down the communication barriers that seem to exist with most people, and when asked with a smile can bring some humor into serious conversations. It works well for me, with only a rare few moments where I need to excuse myself to extract both of my feet from my mouth.

[Alice Torn]

Nicole, excellent answer for that guy!

[Alice_2014_B]

I've been asked random questions like that, almost as if the person knew.
I just answer in a sarcastic manner like, "Oh you know I do!"
Then do they know I'm actually being facetious(?)
:)

[*ROXY*]

If you'de been on a site like this the finder would also be admitting similar interests. It's not like you accidentally mistype crossdressers.com lol

[jennifer0918]

One thing I learned from working undercover is that I'm the one that's different. I'm the one hiding my identity,the bad guy or guys well they don't suspect unless I'm careless.But if all my bases are covered and I'm focused,then it's all just in mind.It's not what you know,it's what you can prove.I don't think your co workers suspect you.

[Vickie_CDTV]

This guy must be completely clueless about sexual harassment laws. Doing what he did to his male colleague alone could get him fired! Asking personal, uncomfortable questions to his coworkers could also get him canned (and make him un-hireable to anyone else with the stigma of sexual harassment.)

[suzanne]

The first thought that came to me was, is he testing the waters on his own behalf? Could it be that he's gaging everyone's responses to determine his own prospects for coming out. Just saying.

[Tracii G]

So if your workplace is like you say it is why on earth did you answer the questions the way you did?
If you are not worried about it fine but you did open the hornets nest.
I did have a co worker try to put me on the spot one time coming out of the bathroom and into the full break room.
He said loudly "boy you have a purty mouth" Everybody laughed of course.
I came right back and said "you have a tiny penis and can't kiss very well so our deal is off".
Lets say everybody laughed and that big country boy looked pretty foolish.
They teased him for weeks.

[leannejacobs]

I answered the way I did to laugh it off as a joke, if I'd jumped straight in with a "You must be joking! Why would I!? I think it would have looked more suspicious, I have and do make tongue in cheek comments when it randomly crops up in conversation like "don't knock it until you try it" I've been to the Rocky Horror Picture Show dressed and have never hidden that, so I do have a bonified excuse I can relate to for wearing women's clothes, it doesn't bother me, I certainly don't think my reaction raised any suspission or opened a hornets nest.

[DIANEF]

I had a close female friend at a previous workplace, somehow the discussion one day turned to crossdressing and she said to me, almost a throwaway remark. 'it wouldn't suprise me If you were one' and then fixed me with a stare for a few seconds. Only on days with a 'Y' in it I replied. She 'hmmmd' and never mentioned it again.

[MartineCD]

Leanne you're right that the shock and feigned indignation is usually followed by a 'the lady doth protest too much' reaction and continued questioning as they feel they must be hitting on something. A direct reply that may or may not be the truth usually takes the wind out of their sails.

M x

[Stephanie47]

Check that guy's work station/desk for vodka bottles! He and the firm he works for are leaving themselves open for a sexual harassment suit.

[misschris]

I work in a warehouse every night. Of course there is no A/C so I wear shorts, even though my legs are shaved. The only comment I've had from a co-worker is he told me "I had the prettiest legs he's ever seen"....I just replied "thank you".

[leannejacobs]

He was at it again tonight with the other guy, I'm in a supervisory position and did ask the guy in a jokey manner if he was sexually harassing him again, he just replied in a similar manner, no I'm quite enjoying the attention lol so I'll just let them crack on.

[misschris]

Sounds to me that he is one of us. Bless his heart...

[Teresa]

Leanne,
It doesn't sound as if he was expecting you to out your self as much as himself , his behaviour does suggest he's trying to tell you all something, whether he's gay because of his actions with a colleague or a CDer because of the probing comments to you and others.

[Maria 60]

It was good you kept calm and collective and didn't let him see you sweat. Once a co- worker was telling a story about a girl that he was going out with and she enjoyed having him dress up as a women. But as he's telling the story he's telling us that he didn't mind and in the passed enjoyed wearing his sister and mothers cloths. At first everyone was shocked but then he woundnt stop talking about it, almost pushing it on us that he was talking so freely like he was doing nothing wrong and it seemed like everyone lost interest and it was never talked about again. I guess at times its how you present yourself and how the story was told. If I told that story I would have been hanging and burning on a cross.

[SherriePall]

As some others have mentioned, methinks he might be a dresser himself, trying to feel out the reactions of others before making any announcement.

[leannejacobs]

He was at it again today, holding and stroking the other guys hand, this time however he was singing shania Twain's "man I feel like a woman" lol you may be right

[Krisi]

You say you are a supervisor. As a few folks have posted, his questions and behavior are inappropriate for a workplace (unless you work in a strip joint). You should take him aside and explain this to him and warn him to stop and never do it again. Even if you don't find his behavior offensive, someone else may and could hold you partially responsible for letting it continue.

[leannejacobs]

Spoke to another colleague today who has worked with the guy for 10 years, he said he's always been like that but no one knows whether he's gay, bi or what, on a plus note at least I'm in the clear lol

[Leah]

Y'know?, Ive gotten those kind of comments all my life, moreso when younger (mores the pity) and just always thought thought they were attracted to me. Some were, some werent but those that were, were intent.......then? I hated it, now? God I cant' wait to start hormones. . . . .v . v. finger thrum, finger thrum,.