Fetish or what is it??

[Chrissy1966]

Since I came out to my SO last year, she's been so supportive.....way beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. This may ramble a bit, so bear with me, girls.

She's bought me dresses, helped with makeup (still learning and not very good at it) and has held my hand during my more-than-a-few drama-filled breakdowns. Confused would be an understatement. But I'm not bringing anything to the table that so many of us deal with, or have dealt with, so many many times. Chrissy is totally gay, man crazy but when I'm not dressed.....I rarely think about it. Anyone else deal with this? She wants to visit Provincetown on the cape and be in a drag show. haha

My "problem" is that dress-up time usually involves partying in one form or another......AKA not sober. I'm 50, professional.....settled with a home and two kids...etc.....but still like to party on occasion. For the most part, Chrissy stays tucked away (pun intended) and I can go weeks without dressing. But a few drinks....etc......and she explodes out of the closet like gangbusters. She's kind of a tramp, campy, loud, totally limp wristed and fem. I dress top to bottom with makeup, wig, yummy pumps...or the "full betty" as they say. The other me is 6' 3" 225lbs, masc with a beard (shave it for our dress up parties)....almost a bear but not as heavy.

I've read so so many posts and I realize everyone is on their own journey. No labels. I'm just tossing this out there, maybe someone is in the same boat

But in some weird way, I want to be respected in the cd community and I feel like I'm faking it because I can put it all away so easily and live a normal straight life until the next party rolls around. When I say "party", I mean just me and my wife. She lets me go crazy and let Chrissy out of the suitcase, no holding back. This is kind of strange but what the hell, might as well tell someone about it. I am very musical and have incredible rhythm. I like to crank up funk, disco, motown...and pretend to be one of those backup singers, shaking my hips in my high heels. Again, 6' 3" and as my SO says......I have legs for days. : ) Sorry, not sure why I brought that up. : )

I envoy those of you who go out dressed in public, clubs, shopping, restaurants. My ultimate fantasy is to visit Montreal and go out to a club dressed and mingle with other cd's. I'm in Vermont. It's not even about the sex. I simply want to hang out and be a girl with others like me. Too scared I suppose.

I think that I've strayed from the topic. Imagine that. haha

I guess what I'm saying is that I've been kicking myself because most times, I don't get that itch to let her out of the closet unless I've been partying....like I'm not a real cd.....like in some weird way, I need to be thinking about it and/or dressing all of the time or I'm not part of the cd community. But then I have to tell myself, after reading so many posts, that everyone is on a different journey. Some are able to be "out" and some stay hidden.

All I know is that when I slip on my thigh highs, put on a dress and slip into my pumps.....it's like this tingle runs up my back and it feels incredible. In my mind, I'm so pretty and so sexy. I've walked, what feels like, miles in hotel rooms....working the runway. It's so strange but I know most of you will understand: my SO gave me a (fake) pearl necklace for xmas. I couldn't believe how much a simple accessory could elevate Chrissy to another level, so much more of her character came out. It made me feel even more like a woman.

Sorry.....rambling again. Thanks for listening.

[CrystalSparrowe]

It may be or started out as a fetish for dressing in women's clothes. Only you can really answer if your feelings about it are beyond simply enjoying the clothes themselves and wearing them.

[jennifer0918]

Nawwww your all woman hear you roar

[NicoleScott]

When we say fetish here on the forum we usually mean sexual fetish, not ordinary objects with magical powers as suggested by alternate definitions. Many here have a fetish (or more) for items of women's wear or their transformed selves. Your post didn't mention any sexual connection to your crossdressing, so I can't call it a fetish. What it is I have no idea, Fun maybe?

[Rogina B]

You are the PERFECT person to enjoy First Event this January ! There are lots of people you will meet there with the same mindset .

[Chrissy1966]

Yes. When it;s on and I'm working the runway, total Fun! : )

- - - Updated - - -

Perfect is nice. What is First Event? Details, please. : )

[Lorileah]

I'm more concerned you need to "party" to do this. Nicole explained the word fetish. In sexual academia the word fetish implies you need it to have sexual relations. Is it a fetish for you? Or just something you like to do on occasion?

[sometimes_miss]

Hate to be the one to break this to you, but Chrissy is YOU. Drinking just releases the inhibitions that you use to hide it from yourself.

[ReineD]

When we say fetish here on the forum we usually mean sexual fetish, not ordinary objects with magical powers as suggested by alternate definitions.

You’re right, the term "fetish" has both definitions. But, I don’t think that Chrissy is describing women’s clothing as objects that possess, contain, or cause spiritual or magical powers such as amulets or talismans (http://the-difference-between.com/fetish/talisman)?

A sexual fetish, on the other hand, can describe two different reactions. It can indeed be something that is necessary for one to reach full sexual satisfaction, but it can also be something or an activity that a person finds arousing, even if they don’t carry it through to completion such as having sex or masturbating.

Back to Chrissy,


All I know is that when I slip on my thigh highs, put on a dress and slip into my pumps.....it's like this tingle runs up my back and it feels incredible. In my mind, I'm so pretty and so sexy.

So yup, the tingles could indicate arousal although I don't like to use the term "fetish". It tends to have a bad reputation around here. "Enhanced feelings", or "preference" are decent descriptors.

By all means you should go to Montreal to hang out with other CDers. Montreal is my home town but you need to know there are as many people there who look askance at CDers as there are here in the US. But, if Montreal is the closest large city where you can disappear among the hordes, then it’s a good choice. Urban areas do have a much higher concentration of trans bars and clubs than smaller towns, obviously.

As to not having a constant need to crossdress, you’re certainly not alone here. You should start a thread asking the members who don’t think of the CDing much in between their experiences to identify themselves. But I’d leave the word "fetish" out of it though, because your thread will turn into a debate on whether the CDing is fetish or not. :p

[Jenniferathome]

...My "problem" is that dress-up time usually involves partying in one form or another......AKA not sober. ..

So you can't cross dress unless you are drunk? THAT seems really odd to me. What is it that you are trying to anesthetize?

[Sister Rachel]

Not anaesthetise. Alcohol, damaging drug that it is, is a disinhibitor. " In vino veritas" and all that!

[ReineD]

More like "In vino dopamine". Combine this with "CDing releases dopamine" and you get, "In vino crossdressing". :)

https://www.sobernation.com/why-does-alcohol-lower-your-inhibitions/

[Teresa]

Chrissy,
I guess you have one or two problems to sort out, I'm not suggesting you have a drink problem but you do have a CDing problem.

If I just go back to your point about being a professional at work and at home a wife and two kids, we all know there is a stress level with all that going so do you have a couple of drinks to relieve and relax ?

Some of us say that CDing does relieve stress , that often depends if you're in a DADT situation or not which I read you're not, so does cding de stress you without drinking or do you need the drink to get over inhibitions about dressing ? What are your feelings about dressing without drinking ?

I've just your thread again and I'm slightly confused over you feelings towards men when dressed, because later you say you only party as Chrissy with your wife, so is the idea being with a man just in your imagination ?

I think I would try and get some basic answers to your CDing needs without resorting to drink, I feel there's a great deal of confusion of where you are on the TG spectum, if you can clarify that maybe you will be able to decide if you need CDing to satisfy an inner need and try and detach it from drinking.
I like a couple of beers to relax but not to put me in the mood for CDing , also now I go out socially I've decided not to drink at all because of the driving problem and I still totally enjoy my dressing.