Crossdressing = The Fallen...

[KateSpade83]

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I think all of this crossdressing causes people to go paranoid. I kinda think it leads to a fallen state of life where SHTF often.

I don't know,... Do you live a "Fallen" life because of crossdressing?

[CarlaWestin]

No, not at all. My crossdressing is compartmentalized from anything that it may be an issue with.
And, I keep the fact that I'm TG locked and loaded as an ultimate diversity shield.
Fortunately, I haven't had to hit that button yet.

And for years I thought there was some correlation between CD'ing and bad things happening.
Pure nonsense.

[Krisi]

What does "SHTF" mean?

[Princess Chantal]

Nope, not one bit!
It has enriched my relationships with family and friends, diversified my social life and mind, and gave my self esteem a boost.

[NicoleScott]

Here's a hint. Krisi. The last three letters stand for Hits The Fan.

[DIANEF]

Definately not, my dressing has always had a very calming influence on me, It is literally part of who I am. Never been paranoid about it.

[Ineke Vashon]

How about turning the question around to you? "do you live a fallen life"? Your avatar says ex CD? so perhaps you're not sure either way? Since you posted in this forum is it something you wish to explore on this forum, or would it be more productive to talk it over with a counselor, for your peace of mind?

Be kind to yourself,

Ineke

[Krisi]

The post would have been more clear if you simply stated what you meant.

Now, I don't think crossdressing leads to a "fallen life". I don't live a fallen life, I live a pretty good life. For the most part, our lives are what we make of them. Some things are out of our control like disease or accident, but the rest is what we make it. Get an education in a field that pays well, get and keep a good job, find a good partner, etc. It has nothing to do with crossdressing.

Maybe you are trying to use dressing to cure a bad life.

[Amy Fakley]

Whether or not you enjoy your life, is 100% a matter of perspective, completely apart from things you can't control.
I've met stage 4 cancer patients who have burnt through every last dime they have, and every last dime their families have, and they still have love for themselves, and for life ... undeniably staring death in the face, and still have an amazing perspective.

I'm not saying that negative emotions have no place in life. Obviously it's quite legitimate to feel down or "fallen" as you have put it ... those feelings can be constructive ... they can be the motivation to make changes so that you are happy in your life.

So, does crossdressing and being one of the thousand flavors of trans lead to difficult situations? Absoloutely. Can it make you feel depressed? Yes. Are you going to be this way regardless of those conditions? Yeah probably.

I guess what I'm saying is that whether or not your life is "fallen" as a result of who you are, is both a matter of perspective, and a direct result of the approach you take to the situation.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate:hugs:, I have been this program for over 69 yrs. and I'm very happy

You just have to keep your priorities in order ...:daydreaming:...

[CONSUELO]

I'm not a drug addict or a sociopath or psychopath who has done something horrible. I'm just a good old fashioned fetishistic transvestite who feels most comfortable by being more feminine than masculine. I am guilt free and decidedly NOT FALLEN.

[Maria Blackwood]

Wat?

It's the world that is dark and fallen. CD is a small escape for me.

[Dana44]

Nope it helps my sanity and is blessing to be one. No problems that I have encountered except I was outed by my ex-wife.

[Teresa]

Kate,
I wouldn't call it a fallen life, I now enjoy it too much , but I do call it a double life, yes I agree there is always a touch of paranoia .

[CynthiaD]

I don't know what a fallen life is, but I'll take a stab at this anyway.

I have a pretty ordinary life: successful career, nice house, ok car, go to church on Sunday, mow the grass on Saturday, you get the idea.

Does crossdressing make me less of a person than I would be otherwise? Absolutely not! Quite the contrary in fact. Crossdressing has helped me to become more of the person I've always aspired to be. My life would be empty without it.

[Shelly Preston]

Kate

Life is full of ups and downs. There is no doubt for some that it wont go well if they are found out crossdressing.

In no way can I see how it would seem like a fallen life.

Keeping things a secret can make people a touch paranoid sometimes.

[Sophie Yang]

SHTF all the time to everyone. How you respond is the key. Some can simply turn the fan off and/or redirect it. Others are frozen like the deer in the head lights. Most of us are some where in between. Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore come to mind.

[sometimes_miss]

So, does crossdressing and being one of the thousand flavors of trans lead to difficult situations? Absolutely. Can it make you feel depressed? Yes. Are you going to be this way regardless of those conditions? Yeah probably.
Not really. Yes, not getting things we want in life can be a downer. No, they don't necessarily 'make' us depressed. We decide how we react to many situations. For example, when a relative dies, some people become hysterical, yelling, crying, sobbing, screaming, then go into a state of mourning for long periods of time, unable to accept that someone they love is gone. Others don't. Why do you think that is? Because some of us understand how life works. We know that people die. Same with any other event in our life. We decide how we will feel about bad things that happen, including, up to a point, how we will respond to pain.

In general, most people are about as happy as they want to be. Some of us look at the glass half full, some, the glass half empty. And when the glass does empty, some of us find a way to put more stuff in it, while others do nothing but cry because their glass is empty.

My friend had an interesting take on a common phrase: When life hands you lemons, throw them out and drink beer! Life is too short to spend it being miserable. Find something you enjoy, and do that.

[Jenniferathome]

I think you are looking for something to blame for whatever state you are in. Cross dressing is not the reason for your situation any more than drinking soda pop is. Cross dressing is just a thing. Would an objective third party blame cross dressing for your situation as you do?

[ellbee]

I've simply come to accept it, embrace it & be happy.

Sometimes people take things waaay too seriously.

Just have fun & enjoy it all! :)

[Helen_Highwater]

Fallen life? No. Paranoid, no. It can have it's stresses and strains but no more than many other things experienced in life.

[MelanieAnne]

Been CDing all my adult life. Never regretted it. Wouldn't have it any other way. I was out walking in the forest today, on a remote two track that I often walk, wearing only a thong, little strappy sandals and a very short sleeveless sundress. And I was thinking that absent any sexual angle, it just felt so much better than guy clothes. It was as close to bare as you can get, with the sun and the breeze all over me. CDing has enhanced my life considerably!

[Stephanie47]

I think cross dressing may lead to a lot of angst with many men. If you are trying to hide it from a loved one, then I can see a mental burden brought on by concealment. I suppose that would be enhanced if you venture outside and fear negative comments, assaults, job termination, etc.

I'm in my comfort zone with my desire to wear women's clothing. I accepted myself decades ago. Yes, my comfort zone is my home. As some have indicated cross dressing can be compartmentalized. I haven't dressed since April and I feel totally comfortable.

[MissTee]

No. When I dress I find comfort, stress relief, and fulfillment. I'll never be able to explain why, but I've learned that that's OK too.

[Tracii G]

I have fallen as deep as one could possibly go and came out of it. CDing just made one more reason to live.
Drugs are bad remember that ladies. Just a friendly anti drug PSA.

[SherriePall]

Most of the time we control how much hits the fan. When some gets by us, we can control what does hit it by either reacting truthfully, deflecting it with lies or jokes, or putting it off til we're ready.
The more we are comfortable with what we do, the less of a problem it is.
And we can not read something into everything every body says as being knowledge that they know all about our "secret" of dressing up. We can not use our "secret" as being the reason we are turned down for a job or rejected for a friendship.
Unless, we tell straight out that we are a crossdresser, most people would have no clue (unless we go around in a skirt, etc., as our male selves).
And, if we do that we have no need to be paranoid.

[Alice Torn]

In some religious groups, if we are found out,it is definitely a falling down, as well as some business dealings, conservative small towns, or with some mates, who are adamantly against it. For some , cding has mad their lives more enjoyable, with accepting mates, an churches that accept alternative lifestyles. For others, cding has been a source of much conflict, and paranoya, guilt and shame with a hostile mate, friends, church, workplace, relatives. It is a mixed bag. I remember one former member on here years ago, who kept calling it a curse within. We are all different.

[docrobbysherry]

I think I see what you're getting at, Kate. But, I can only speak for myself. I didn't start dressing or have ANY gender issues until I was 50 years old. By then I had already enjoyed many successes in my life.

However, I've often wondered if I would have even lived to 50 if I had began dressing in my 20's and embraced it the way I have the last 20 years?!:eek:

[KateSpade83]

You know, I went to the mental ward and it was full of demons. One demon represented the demon of deception that cding is ok, and that forum members are kept back from "fallen" judgements just to deceive me. I think cding is really a 'fallen" life, as I have reflected on my many mental episodes and signs in life and I realize cding is bad grace .?

[Jenniferathome]

Rather than blaming cross dressing for being a miserable person, you need to consider that you are just a miserable person who happens to be a cross dresser.

Since you are not going to convince anyone here that "demons" are making us cross dress, you would be better served to leave this forum and not have to deal with cross dressing since you have successfully "quit."

[Amy Fakley]

You know, I went to the mental ward and it was full of demons. One demon represented the demon of deception that cding is ok, and that forum members are kept back from "fallen" judgements just to deceive me. I think cding is really a 'fallen" life, as I have reflected on my many mental episodes and signs in life and I realize cding is bad grace .?

Grace is a choice. Being who you are, and having an identity that makes you want to dress, is not a choice. You can choose to have grace and accept yourself for who you are (warts and all). These are not mutually exclusive options.

Your "demons" appear to me to be a metaphor for your fear of rejection, if you let down your guard and expose your true self to the world. Defeating your "demons" means seeing them for what they are, not letting them bully you into trying to see yourself as someone you are not.

I suggest you consult a real mental health professional (not some woo-woo church deacon who went through a weekend councelling class or a corespodence school). Your posts sound so full of pain and denial ... whether or not you quit crossdressing, having a qualified professional to help you with what you are going through will be invaluable.

[DIANEF]

Demons?? ,meanwhile back on Earth....

[Lana Mae]

Sounds like you ran into somebody (I may be wrong) stuck in the old testament. One who forgot that Christian begins with Christ and Christ is love!! We are all God's children and He loves us all!! That is why He sent Jesus who is love to pay the price for our sins!! We are all human and not perfect and can never be except through Christ!! See a good therapist to help you with this issue!! Best wishes and good luck!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Jodi]

Kate, Those of us that have been on this MB remember your posts from 3-4 years ago. You posted about the same issues that you are posting today. You posted on this MB that you were diagnosed as paranoid and have been under a dr's care for it.

So--are you paranoid? the answer is yes. You are the one who said you have been certified.

The solution is to take your meds and listen to your dr's

Crossdressing has had nothing to do with this.

jodi

[Kiwi Primrose]

Crossdressing has been a part of my life since I was a child - over 70 years of participation without creating anything negative in my relationships.
It has enhanced my marriage and now that my wife is partially incapacitated we are both grateful for the feminine attitudes I can give to her care.
We have not "Fallen" and the S never hit the fan.

[Mayo]

You know, I went to the mental ward and it was full of demons. One demon represented the demon of deception that cding is ok, and that forum members are kept back from "fallen" judgements just to deceive me. I think cding is really a 'fallen" life, as I have reflected on my many mental episodes and signs in life and I realize cding is bad grace .?
You're entitled to your own opinions... if you choose to believe that you are 'fallen' or 'without grace', how you deal with that is your choice. You are not entitled to judge others ('judge not lest ye be judged', right?). Frankly, if you're going to see anyone who says CDing is acceptable as a 'demon of deception', nothing is going to change your mind. You either have to a) give up the view of demons, b) give up CDing, or c) accept that CDs/intersex/TS/TG people are the way god created them and are acceptable because their existence harms nobody except for irritating those people who have very specific ideas of what sex and gender are supposed to be. I suggest going for option (c). If you want to talk about your doubts or concerns and how you can accept and deal with the desire to CD, this is probably the place to be, but - without trying to sound too harsh - I doubt that anybody wants to hear your opinions about how they are deceived or possessed by demons.


Kate, Those of us that have been on this MB remember your posts from 3-4 years ago. You posted about the same issues that you are posting today. You posted on this MB that you were diagnosed as paranoid and have been under a dr's care for it.

So--are you paranoid? the answer is yes. You are the one who said you have been certified.

The solution is to take your meds and listen to your dr's
The previous posts make a lot of sense in this light.

[LilSissyStevie]

Kate, "demons" are sooooooo 19th century! Today we call them genes. You can blame just about anything on genes and it's not your fault. How cool is that? But, demons have the power you give them so you have to choose whether to give them any or not. Crossdressing to me is just a colossal waste of time, other than that I don't attach any moral importance to it.

[Shelly Preston]

You know, I went to the mental ward and it was full of demons. One demon represented the demon of deception that cding is ok, and that forum members are kept back from "fallen" judgements just to deceive me. I think cding is really a 'fallen" life, as I have reflected on my many mental episodes and signs in life and I realize cding is bad grace .?

Kate there is something really wrong in what you say. If you have been to a mental ward and your medical team have not addressed you issues, I would question why.

I am sure we all know people with different issues, but I would never describe them has having a fallen life.

[Amelie]

Kate, I hope you can find peace in your life in whatever you do. Mental probs are difficult to live with, take care of yourself.

[CarlaWestin]

You know, I went to the mental ward and it was full of demons. One demon represented the demon of deception that cding is ok, and that forum members are kept back from "fallen" judgements just to deceive me. I think cding is really a 'fallen" life, as I have reflected on my many mental episodes and signs in life and I realize cding is bad grace .?

So Kate, it's obvious that you need to go and just be a man.

[Mink]

We are the demons that lurk WITHIN the night BEYOND the shadows

of doubt!

[AmandaM]

OP has stated before that she suffers from schizophrenia (I think it was her). If so, I think you need to talk with the doctors about what you are perceiving.

[Mink]

Lo we are forever the Fallen!

shield thine eyes!

avert thy gaze!


ahhh!

[Julogden]

If dressing has caused problems in your life, seek out some counseling. You're in Chicago, and I know there's help available there, support groups and counseling, so take advantage of that.

[Tracii G]

Fallen life or demons as you put it are from your own mind and you need to realize this and seek more help for your condition.
Seems you feel the need to blame some one or something else for your issues but you know it comes from you and no one else.

[Ashley090]

Demons? Fallen? What is going on? :D anyway, personaly i don't see it that way. Sometimes I get caught in weird and not happy thoughts that includes cding but i always get over them. Maybe still asking myself why. Feel little bit guilty but its still dressing is happy moment for me and undressing is sad moment ;)

[Mink]

The Dressing Demons Dance ALL AROUND US!

waiting for us to enter their nightmare space...

waiting to enter us!

[Ressie]

IMO, the paranoia would come from fear that others will find out that you cross dress. Some of us have that fear including myself. The question is, is this a rational fear? What are the possible results from friends, relatives, neighbors or coworkers find out that you dress like a woman? I think the answer is different for each one of us. It could be devastating for some and inconsequential for others.

My life may have been better if I wasn't a CD. Who knows? It also could have been worse. Sometimes I think I should cut down on the pink fog but I have to accept that CDing is a big part of who I am.

Living in fear can lead to problems in one's life and even contribute to mental problems IMO. If CDing is causing anxiety it's time to ease up and not worry so much. Be good to yourself!

[Mink]

Lo! We are still the Fallen...

[Barbara Black]

I've given up on the notion that crossdressing is 'wrong' or in your term, 'fallen'. It is who I am, and no religion is going to dictate right and wrong when they are the biggest perveyors of fear and self hatred. Yes, 'fallen' is clearly a religious term for sin. I wish you good luck making up your mind about your own personal life.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

"I don't know,... Do you live a "Fallen" life because of crossdressing?[/QUOTE]"

These words suggest a commitment to a concept of good and evil.
These are traditional "godfearing" things that are taught to us.
Most thinking people, like you, grow out of that mean, judgmental god.

Going to heaven or hell has little to do with what we wear.
It is who we are that counts.

⛩