Obsessions and misconceptions !

[Teresa]

So I'll start with obvious statement that women come in all shapes and sizes but if you listen to and talk to them far more are dissatisfied with their body shape than men . They very rarely make a harsh comment about another's figure but will say that someone looks great in a certain outfit because they have made a good choice to compliment their figure.

The point I'm going to make is probably associated with fitting in the passable box and my thoughts came from a male order catalogue that dropped on the door mat yesterday. I was flipping through the pages and stopped at a page on a selection of jeans, a couple of pages were devoted to new fabric technology where intelligent zones could shave inches off thighs, magic panels could lift a rear end and finger panels could flatten a tummy. I had to sit back and smile because they were in effect offering a more masculine shape . I have commented before about trying to keep my shape as natural as possible and yet so many members feel to be the woman they desire to be they have to resort to so much lower padding and yet women are apparently desperate to shed most of that by hoping the promises of well designed clothes will achieve it.

Some members do appear to be obsessed by aspects of CDing to emulate being a woman, I'm not saying it's wrong because we all have our own slant on it , most of us are aware that many women don't take the same amount of time and trouble we do to appear female, but then we have to lose the man first before we can achieve that. Personally I don't rave about pierced ears or painted toe nails as if it were part of the credentials. I posted a while ago about about feeling like a poor relation when I admitted using doubled up water balloons instead of forms, at the time I pointed out that they achieved all I needed but again some see forms as necessary credentials along with lower padding. I will add that I accept some people have to resort to padding to balance the body shape but often pulling in the waist is better than adding inches on, obviously losing weight is the answer but some medical conditions make that very difficult .

Now I'm out in the public more no one has ever said that my shape is wrong, I have shown pictures to many people now and had some wonderful compliments but women do not comment on another's figure they may notice but the one thing women do is home in on are legs they will comment far more about someone having nicely shaped legs rather than a good or not so good figure.

To be a CDer and hopefully be accepted as the woman you would like to be does have misconceptions and we can become obsessed with certain aspects but it really doesn't have to be like that, keep it simple, keep it natural and most of us can easily walk out the door without too much trouble. It really doesn't matter what's being worn underneath or which makeup counter you used, it's how you feel about expressing the feelings that matter.

[DIANEF]

Where I live women really do come in ALL shapes and sizes, few would have anything close to a 'perfect' female figure. Like you I dont feel the need for hip or butt padding, I rarely paint my nails (and never toenails) but I can't resist false lashes as my own are very short. I try to dress in what any 'normal' woman would dress, that is tights, knickers, bra, dress, bit of make up and a few bits of jewewllry. Only boobs and hair are add-ons. In other words feminine but not OTT, Fortunately I am fairly slim and at 5'8'' an 'average' womans height. Of course everyone has different requirements but I'm with you in keeping it simple.

[Tracii G]

Simple is best most of the time if you intend on passing/blending.
Now some don't like to blend and rather go over the top but from what I have experienced in years of going out in public is:
1. Go over the top people will pick apart your look and figure out you are a guy because of manly traits you can't hide.
2. Blend and not be under the intense scrutiny of the general public.People do look of course but they are less likely to negatively react.

[Dragonfir3zz]

As my prefered look is goth, and have ink that show either way. So i get looks and judged either way, but i do prefer to blend except who i blend to are those that choose not to blend.

[Lana Mae]

As stated elsewhere, our skeletons are against us!!! I think it is up to the individual as to what they want to do about this! Having said that, I do put nailpolish on my toenails but it is for me and my feelings of femininity, I do not go around showing them off!! Like you I believe in blending in; simple and natural!! That is me but there are others who do not but really they are just outing themselves!! IMHO Just my 2 cents!! Hugs Lana Mae

[docrobbysherry]

Teresa, there r 1000's of dressers on this site alone. We r not all alike. We r motivated to dress by many reasons. Your big one is obviously to dress out amongst the muggles. Where your figure, attractiveness, style of clothing, etc., etc. may not matter much, if at all. As others said, yes throw on a few casual fem things and off u go. And, if that's your thing? Good for u!

But, it's NOT for many of us that can't, won't, or don't care to dress with that as our ultimate goal. For every T who goes out to Walmart or Dennys dressed without a second thot? I'll bet there's 5 to 10 of us closet dressers that dress only in private. And, we have the most critical things in the world to please. Our mirrors!:Angry3:

While it's true women come in all shapes and sizes, I'm not attracted to all of them. And, like many closet dressers I only want to copy the looks of those women I admire. My mirror must reflect a pretty, young, shapely woman. And, her attire must be either extremely revealing, figure flattering, feminine, or all 3!:heehee:
Or, I'm NOT satisfied with my look.

The bottom line is that u r happy with the image in your mirror. :daydreaming:
I guess u and I r, Teresa.:thumbsup:

But like GG's, a lot of dressers r not!:sad:

[Teresa]

Sherry,
I must admit the more I read my threads the more I feel closer to being TS, I know I'm fairly close to the line, I really want to be out there naturally blending in being happy and getting on with a life dressed as I chose. It's not a big show I wish to put on, I try my best but it's not an act, I realise that's where we differ, you dress for the show, acting different characters, but hidden behind a facade , I couldn't do that, yes I am happy with what appears in the mirror, especially at my age.

Also I very rarely dress to the nines at home, just clothes and forms no makeup or wig. I use the mirror to check out the next outfit I might wear the next time I go out otherwise I don't see the point if I'm the only one that sees me and that's only in the mirror. I guess that would be different if I wasn't in a DADT situation at home .

[Alice_2014_B]

I go with just what I can do and how I desire to look.
I'm not into painting my nails, making cleavage, and wearing the underwear, but that's just me.
I wear closed-toe heels when going out in public.
Fortunately I have somewhat of an average sized body to compare to a woman.
I've honed in the skills of walking in high heels over the years.
Makeup is seemingly the biggest thing I have to work on.
:)

[Lorileah]

The Olympics just ended. Did anyone notice the bodies on the female athletes? Triangular was common. Some had no curves from cest to hips. Big boobs, little boobs...no boobs. Hips, no hips. It was a great confidence booster. I have a volleyball body and I don't even work out!! Shoulder.. little swell on the belly...long legs....no hips. ( I used to play highly comp V-ball but couldn't hit at 6'...now I probably could). Those women rocked the shape they have.

[Teresa]

Lorileah,
I take it from your comments you're happy with your natural shape or do you feel you need to add something in certain areas to attain a different shape ?

I've never worked out but my shape is down to walking the dog twice a day for twenty seven years and carrying heavy photographic equipment for thirty years.

I guess to be a top athlete they forgo a more feminine shape in their interest to have a body that totally functions in a competitive environment.

[Dragonfir3zz]

Forgive me if I am butting in, but for me i would prefer a more feminine form, especially in my face. As i have been on disability for 7+ yrs now, my body is no longer in the shape it was. I did fence building and it helped me stay ehere i liked for my body, my face has always been my issue.

Yet hasn't society helped everyone feel that, no matter eho you are, your body "is supposed" to be a certain way. The same society that can't even accept themselves.

[Teresa]

Jessikah,
Looking at your avatar I think your face is OK . The point I'm making is that there appears to an obsession with certain parts of Cding to emulate a women when they are trying to hide the same attributes by buying clothes that cover up the aspects that many think typifies a woman. Like I said I have had many comments about my legs, it appears to be one part of the body they do like and and make comments on.

[Sara Jessica]

Here's the thing Teresa, and this is something that has bothered me for a long time when it comes to the notion of padding it up.

No one pads up anything less than what is perceived as an ideal feminine form. Many, if not most women out there struggle with their figures because what they are blessed with is less than ideal, whether in their own minds (more than likely over-critical on their part) or in reality (as in unhealthy). Look at a hundred women objectively (rather than objectify-ly) and you will notice a host of shapes & sizes that many/most in these pages would NOT choose to emulate.

Not like I'm not guilty as charged in my experimentations with shape but when all is said and done, I have come to have an astonishing degree of empathy for what many women struggle with daily.

[sometimes_miss]

So I'll start with obvious statement that women come in all shapes and sizes but if you listen to and talk to them far more are dissatisfied with their body shape than men.
Pretty common. Women are judged on their appearance far more then men are. And with the 'ideal' figure being that of a, say, 20 year old, it's pretty hard to maintain that over a lifetime.


new fabric technology where intelligent zones could shave inches off thighs, magic panels could lift a rear end and finger panels could flatten a tummy. I had to sit back and smile because they were in effect offering a more masculine shape
I'm pretty sure that's not the manufacturers goal with foundation garments, as I seriously doubt women are looking to transform themselves into a more masculine shape.


keep it simple, keep it natural and most of us can easily walk out the door without too much trouble.
The big issue, is that most of us (and GG's as well) want to look like a young, ATTRACTIVE women. And that's a whole lot harder to achieve than just being seen as a random old lady.

[Dragonfir3zz]

Teresa, thank you. I guess one thing that can make ot difficult is that looking at myself with makeup, i can still see the other me without it at the same time.

[Teresa]

Lexi,
The description wasn't of undergarments but styles of jeans, I still stick with my assumption that that they are inferring a tighter more masculine shape when wearing jeans.

I'm not sure where you get the idea of keeping it natural and simple suggests looking like an old lady, correct makeup and wig makes a huge difference, it can knock years off people without going OTT. OK I'm sixty five, I don't feel it maybe I am mutton dressed as lamb sometimes most people do like to look younger very few of us dress to look older, male or female.

Jessikah,
I know what you mean but now days it's the opposite for me , I see the transformation makeup gives especially round the eyes.