At what point did you officially recognize and accept yourself as a crossdresser?

[Occasionally Allyson]

I'm a relatively new crossdresser, but I've long been interested in dressing up. I've only recently started to indulge my desires and really try to be as feminine as possible, and so far I absolutely love it. I had worn panties and princess costumes a few times in the past, but now I really consider myself a crossdresser and want to dress en femme as often as possible.

I'm curious as to what point other girls realized that dressing up for you wasn't just a phase or a something you were just trying out? Similarly, for those of you at what point was it no longer just an interest or desire and became a lifestyle? And what changed for you when you made this realization?

For me it was a few weeks ago when I finally worked up the nerve to ask a girl to help me with my makeup. I told her it was just for a costume party and she was happy to help. Even though it was just makeup and I couldn't bring myself to ask her to help me dress, it was a big deal for me because it was the first time anyone else had helped me feel feminine. it felt like the first step towards actively trying to get better at dressing, and the first time I really believed that cross dressing isn't something I'm just going to grow out of.

I'd love to hear your gal's stories!❤️

[Irishbecky]

Hi allyson. I first dressed up when I was a teenager then had a few years in denial trying to convince myself it was just a 'phase' I went through, it was only about 10 years ago I started dressing again(im 39 now) and I definitely consider myself a crossdresser although still in the closet.

[Jenniferathome]

I have been cross dressing since I was about 7 or 8 but only pieces here and there. When I was about 12 or 13, I put on a dress for the first time. It's pretty hard to deny being a cross dresser while in a dress.

[Teresa]

Allyson,
From the age of 8-9 when it all happened for me, from that point on I always had a gut feeling or a need which never went away. For most of us it just grows from those beginnings, I just couldn't stand being in the closet anymore, I called it solitary confinement I needed to be out and stop the destructive hiding and the shame and guilt that went with it. What changed for me was when I found I was born like it and it's for life, hiding and feeling ashamed of something you can't change denying part of you has a need that you have to satisfy. The makeup and clothes are individual choices depending what drives your CDing . Looking back what also changed things for me was taking photographs especially when I finally did makeup with a wig that's when I appreciated the man had disappeared and I was looking at pictures of the woman in me. That's when I realised I could carry this thing off, Teresa came to life the other part that had been a gut feeling for so many years.

[MartineCD]

Hi Ally

From a young age until recently my dressing consisted of occasionally wearing panties, bra (stuffed with socks), tights or stockings. Once or twice I tried a dress or skirt but my options were limited. I've always felt an attraction to the fit and feel of womens clothing. Very recently I've found myself in a position to be able to fulfill a strong desire to dress. For the first time I put on panties, suspenders, stockings, bra (with home made balloon gel forms), skirt, top, wig and a rough attempt at make-up. I'd never felt so exhilarated and at the same time calm and at peace. Through my teens and early 20s I denied to myself that it was anything more than a passing phase. An event in my late 20s made me realise that dressing was an important part of who I was.

Take care

M x

[Helen_Highwater]

I had an interest in women's clothing from an early age, enjoyed the feel of wearing a dress and heels starting in my late teens/early 20's. Carried on dressing into my 30's and then 40's. All that time now that I look back on it I really didn't think of myself as a crossdresser. I don't think I understood myself well enough to truly have an understanding of just how deeply embedded the need to dress was and just what it meant to me. It's only been in the last decade or so that I've got a handle on who and what the real me is all about.

Perhaps it was because I had a sheltered upbringing, that I was a little naive about the ways of the world. Whatever the reason and in no small part to those around me here on this site, it's now, later in life, that I know myself far more fully.

Allyson, hopefully you will gain as much information and insight as I as many others have from being part of this forum. Welcome and good fortune in your journey.

[DIANEF]

A new member, welcome Allyson! I started at a fairly youngish age, typical tale really, occasional peak at my sisters undies drawer, try on a pair of pants, ooh nice, then a bra stuffed with socks, a dress, pinched my mums lipstick and did a bit of parading around the bedroom. Irish catholic family so such activities had to stay well hidden. By 17 had scraped together a few things of my own and ever since I've taken pretty much any opportunity to dress. Been through periods of self doubt, why am I doing this?, will having a girlfriend 'cure' me? But, here I am 30 odd years later and just as keen as ever to slip into my female mode whenever possible. If you are fairly new to this thing and seem to be enjoying the experience I'd say to take it at whatever pace is best for you. There are no timescales or rules, it is a case of literally just doing your own thing. I doubt you'll grow out of it, why would you want to?

[CONSUELO]

Welcome Allyson,
I believe you will find lots of interesting stories here on this site that will help you. I certainly did. Until my mid-twenties, thought I often dressed in lingerie I rarely dressed in other female clothing but I dd experiment with makeup. Then sometime in my early thirties I began to dress more completely and so it has progressed to the point where I love to be dressed as it feels so right for me.
So, my experience has been one of progression. Yours may be completely different. One thing you will notice as you read more threads on this site is that we are a very mixed group that challenges simple categorization. I hope your journey is a smooth and enjoyable one.

[sometimes_miss]

Not sure what exactly makes it 'official'. But for me, I knew there was something different that was not going to go away by the time I was in my teens. I didn't know exactly what I was at that point. The initial purge and with the later reacquiring of my own female wardrobe, made it clear it wasn't a 'phase'. At 33, as I had not dressed up in many years, I thought that I had 'beaten it'. And for another seven years, it seemed that I had. But it was not to be, and the desire to dress up returned with a vengeance. The last time, eventually I simply gave up trying to resist the urge, and just dressed the way I felt like.

[ellbee]

"I'm curious as to what point other girls realized that dressing up for you wasn't just a phase or a something you were just trying out?"

I started young, at 6 years old, when I tried on my 1st piece at a 5-year-old girl neighbor's house. Though I remember even at 4 being drawn in by the colors & fabrics of my mom's clothing. Realized it was more than just a phase when I was still dressing up in increasingly various things a few years later. And at 13, forget it -- I was totally hooked by then! Puberty, and all that. ;)



"Similarly, for those of you at what point was it no longer just an interest or desire and became a lifestyle? And what changed for you when you made this realization?"

Probably when I got my first real wig in my early 20's. Already had everything else down pat. And simply made do without a wig in different ways until that point. But when that synthetic hair was put on, completing that transformation into something *very* real? I knew I was in DEEP!

I loved it, but I also wrestled & struggled & battled with it for a long time, with binges & purges, alternating between elation & shame. Not a healthy cycle to be repeating over & over again.


Even now, I still struggle with it a bit from time to time. But I've given up the real fighting, which is pointless & only makes things worse, really.

It's what I do, it's who I am. I can't change it. It's at my fundamental core, no matter where I am in life at any given point. Gotta just go with the flow... Much better & easier that way. :)

[gailprice]

Hi Allyson

I was also dressing / experimenting when i was 7 to 8 years old. But I fully dressed when i was about 10 or 11 years old and it was at that point I knew i liked it and accepted i was a crossdresser. Crossdressing just got better from that point.
I wish I could do it all again :heehee:

Gail xxx

[Nine]

It's really a good question....

I started to wear dresses of my sister when I was 5... and spent my teenage as androgynous... I am not sure that I had an idea what CD was.
I stopped CD during my family life.

Now I'm free and naturally, CD is one part of my life today. I never thought it was something bad or shamy.

I think that today I recognize me as Transgender cause most of my friends and my sister know this part of my being.
And this feeling to be not really a boy never leave me.

And the most important is that.

I don't hide my make up, perfumes. My female clothes are in my dressing with male clothes, my pumps, boots are outside. cause I've two many shoes !!! (M or f !)
I did hide all my female clothes when someone came to my house, and one day I said to me "Ok Stop !! show them who you are and if they cannot understand...they are not friends of mine !"
It's why I'm T and I recognize me as Transgender. Open your mind to others.

sorry for my English, hope you can understand !!

[LydiaL]

Always amazed at how young an age when some of you recognized cross-dressing desires. I would not have had a chance even if I had wanted to, being one of 8 siblings living in a somewhat small house!

I did try on a sister's dresses and mom's hosiery when in my teens and had some time home alone.

Those cross-dressing desires were put on hold until about the age of 29. Separation and then divorce led me to revisit my desires to explore my femme side. Aside from a couple of purges, I really have not looked back.

I now dress quite often and cannot stop adding to the wardrobe all too regularly!

[Dana44]

Welcome Allyson, I stared young and though my younger years I gave it up with my first wife. But then I had to dress and go out with her. LOL But the urge got stronger as I got older. IT was in my forties that I knew I was a CD and had a new wife and she was good with it but we divorced and I dressed with another girlfriend. Now I am with hopefully my final one and we both go out dressed. It get better though life but then there are not to many years left and now live life to its fullest.

[julia marie]

I didn't know the term crossdresser when i was a teen and trying on my sister's bikini, or years later when I would try on a bra that a friend forgot after staying over at our house, or when I'd buy a negligee to wear in the hotel room on a business trip in my 40s. I guess I was a crossdresser in all those instances, even though the term didn't come to mind. In reality, it's the mindset and actions that matter, and yes, I started as a teen. I enjoyed all of the above.

[Nikki.]

I started when I was 5 or 6, wearing pantyhose, and progressing to other stuff. I stopped during high school, then started back up with a vengeance afterwards. my sister, who I'm out to now, fully dressed me when I was 18 or so, which was amazing but supposedly just for a costume, wink wink nod nod. I bought my first heels from a tg boutique when I was 19 or 20. I talked m now wife into putting makeup on me around the same time and it freaked her out, so I basically partially dressed in secret on occasion for the next 25 years. I was totally in denial about falling under the TG umbrella, and was ashamed of crossdressing and TG feelings.

6 months ago I admitted to myself that I've had gender issues my entire life and crossdressing was an expression of it. Once I came clean to myself I thought about it for a couple weeks, then told my wife, though I had told her about the crossdressing about 6 months into dating.

[lmildcd]

September 24, 2015. I was reading a book called Rediscovering Catholicism and the emphasis was be true to oneself. I wrote a blog coming out of the closet on the date mentioned. I've been wearing women's clothes off and on for years but finally accepted it was part of me last year.

[Diane Smith]

My urge to dress goes back to my very earliest memories, and was fully in control of my life by the time I was five. I never really stopped at any time but kept it low-key and very secret until age 40, in 1997. Then, while on a vacation in the Southwest, the dam broke for some reason and I embraced it fully as an essential part of my personality. Within a few weeks starting that August, I shopped openly for women's clothes for the first time, had my first makeover, started wearing acrylic nails, got a feminine tattoo, began electrolysis, and made contact with a support group in Chicago and went on several of their outings. I haven't been the same since, and I haven't got a clue as to what exactly set me off at that particular moment.

- Diane

[Micki_Finn]

For me it was roughly 3-4 months ago. It was a rather odd experience. I hadn't really dressed previously but I very suddenly came to realize it was what I wanted to do. I know in just a few days from not really thinking about it in any capacity to OMG I WANT TO DO THIS! It really was like a light going on. In that same brief period I came out to my wife (bless her for her understanding and support). But I couldn't really tell you any more about it because it's kind of a blur. Now that I know what I am and what I want to be, I can look back and see the trail of clues leading all the way back to my childhood. Now I almost wonder how I could have missed such obvious clues in myself, but before they all just seemed normal or easily explained away.

[Jane277]

I must start by saying I have never had the urge to dress as a woman I have wore my wife's panties and nail polish (on my toes only) for a few months after losing a bet to my wife. however last Thursday me and my wife were reading an erotic story and half way through it it was revealed that the husband was a cross dresser, at that point I was turned off but my wife was extremely turned on, so we decided to try that one night in bed, it started with me wearing a teddy during foreplay, and now here I sit for the third night in a row in a dress a slip pantyhose nails (fingers and toes) painted 3 inch heels and makeup with a bra stuffed with thermal socks freaking out that I enjoy this so much that I want to go and buy a wig my own makeup and breast forms so that I can fully dress as a woman. Along with scouring the Internet for answers as to why I am enjoying this so much, so I guess it was tonight that I realized that I am a cross dresser and my name is Jane.

[Nadine Spirit]

I have been gender non-conforming for ever, even though I didn't realize it. I didn't dress at all until some time in my twenties. Somewhere around 30 or so, I threw everything away. My one and only purge. I thought I was done. Within a few short years I had replaced everything and finally fully dressed with a wig and makeup for the first time. It was around then I realized this isn't just a phase and I finally accepted who I have always been.

[Alice_2014_B]

For me I guess it just a few years ago when I fully dressed up, wig to heels, for the first time and went out in public that night.
:)

[DaniT]

I knew I was a cross dresser as a teenager, and had been wearing girls clothes as early as 8 or 9 years old.

After High school I went firmly into denial for about 16 years. About 2 months ago it all came back like a tidal wave. I can accept it now but I am starting to work through gender issues with my therapist.

Self acceptance and acceptance of cross dressing seem to be different things for me. Thankfully my wife has been more accepting of me than I am of myself.

That said, I have no desire to stop dressing even though it has made life a lot harder. It feels way too right to be wrong, I will never quit or purge again.

Dani

[dana digs sweaters]

Got to be age 7.
Was already wearing some of my sister's clothes (and Mom's)
FULLY dressed for Halloween at school.
Plenty of dress up games with 3 older sisters and my twin sisters a year younger then me.
I knew what I was doing.
Milton Berle, Flip Wilson, Klinger from MASH were on TV dressed in female clothes, so why couldn't I be also?
Seeing their different clothes growing up, our Mom's taste in fashion, it was enjoyable being their "unknown sister" :)

[Lana Mae]

First wore mom's undies at 6-7. Wore just panties when in teens! Wore panties about 3 times when married! Wife died last year and a few months after pink fog surrounded me! Bought panties at K Mart and have been dressing more and more!! So started at 6-7 but full realization was last year!! I am 65! Hugs Lana Mae

[Marcelo]

I don't remember the year but it was in the last 5 years when I wrote a song called Dress Me Like A Girl. There's something about writing poetry and/or music about something in my life that makes me realize this is part of who I am. I've been dressing up and getting out in public to some degree or another since I got my driver's license in 1983. (Sometimes that meant just wearing my regular clothes with a skirt and panties)

When I get out I go as the traditional guy dressed as a cheerleader but I also fantasize about being some kind of dancer on stage at an arts festival. I don't try to fool anyone and I don't always wear a bra. The major differences is that I go all the way with the girl clothes by only wearing panties under my skirt and I also shave my arms and legs. I guess that makes me a guy dressing as a girl going out in her old cheerleader uniform only wearing a panty because she can't find her trunks. I always loved it when girls did that on Halloween and accidentally gave everyone a peek.

It all started by the time I was 6, maybe 5. I remember reading my mom's Cosmopolitan magazines and seeing women provocatively flashing their panties. I knew there was something naughty, inappropriate, embarrassing, etc... or just wrong about doing that to men and the general public and wanted to experience it for myself. I remember the first time I got one of my mom's panties and wore it under my house robe. I sat on a short object to make her panty visible and imagined people walking by and seeing it.

This is just the tip of the iceberg for me as far as experiences and motivation. I'm not even sure what I do or how I approach it qualifies me for the title of crossdresser but I realize to stop would be going against what I feel compelled to do.

Marcy

[Krisi]

You can play golf and not be a golfer. You can fish and not be a fisherman. And you can put on a dress and not be a crossdresser.

For me, the realization that I was actually a crossdresser and not someone who occasionally crossdressed came a few years ago, after I told my wife and after I had bought myself breast forms, a wig, padded panties and my first pair of women's shoes and I was dressing as a woman several days a week at least for a couple hours.

[Amy Fakley]

My absolute earliest recollection goes back to preschool. I must have been 4 or 5 years old. Looking back with my analytic adult mind, I don't know what it was about that particular situation that was different, because my parents were prolific church-goers, and I had most certainly interacted socially with girls many times in classroom/daycare environments before then.

But something clicked this time, and I became very aware that all the girls had pretty clothes, and I wanted pretty clothes too. Badly. I convinced one of my little friends to swap socks with me. She had these pretty pink ankle socks with frilly lace around the tops ... I had (if I recall correctly) Oscar the grouch socks. I was quite happy with the arrangement! Nobody noticed until I got home ... and when they did ... well ... that was also the day that I first learned it was not ok to want pretty clothes for myself ... That being pretty was for other people, not me, and from that point forward, this was a thing I had to deal with.

It was a small house we lived in, with one bathroom ... and as many of us know ... Mom's clothes in the hamper was my first "stash" ... So literally before I learned to write or speak in complete sentences, I had already learned denial, self-loathing, and hiding.

And it just went on like that for decades ... I'd learned my lessons from such a young age, it was just ingrained ... The denial was like a blind spot hard wired into my psyche. I'd get all dressed up and feel so wonderful and amazing behind locked doors, then I'd pack it all away and go on with my public male life like absolutely nothing happened.

It was a subtly destructive sort of equilibrium, in that at some level I did know something was wrong, but I wasn't dealing with it. I was just sweeping everything under the rug and hoping the bill would never come due. Was able to carry on like that through college, through marriage, and two kids ... All the while hiding and lying and hating myself and becoming slowly more miserable day in and day out.

The breaking point for me was about 6 years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer. I still can't believe how lucky I was. It was caught very early, and I got through the whole ordeal. I recall a moment very clearly when I was in the hospital ... This wave of clarity washed over me like "I might actually die here, and I can't pretend this isn't real anymore ... I am one of those people"

It took maybe three or four more years from that realization for all the crap I'd built up in my mind to start unraveling, which eventually led to me coming out to my wife and the rest.

But there you have it, in excruciating, extremely wordy detail ... That was the moment I realized :-)

[Lee Andrews]

I have been dressing on and off since around ten. Moms hose was calling to me for some reason. So one day I did and that started me on this journey in life. Went from that to experimenting with other articles of clothing to make up. Through the eighties and nineties I was messed up. Couldn't figure out why in the world I enjoyed this so much, it seemed so wrong. Knew I wasn't gay yet I loved dressing up any chance I had, I thought only gay people did this at the time. Thought I was the only one. I was so confused. It wasn't until the Internet came along that I realized there were others just like me. That's when I accepted this was a part of me and an inner sense of peace washed over me. Every once and a while I get a sense of why do I do this but it passes.

[Glendy]

For me it was a year ago when my wife got upset with me about me wearing female clothing to regular with out letting her know ahead of time. She knew about my crossdressors, doesn't like but she understands. Anyway I decided I didn'the want to put her to this part of me anymore so, I broke the golden rule and purged all my stuff. That didn't last long and the urge to dress go to strong to bare so I started to buy more female clothing. Thatsunami when I knew for sure that I was and am a crossdressor forum life. Just to let you my wife did tell me not to get rid of my female stuff at the time. She still doesn't like that part of me but she understands that my female feeling are never going away or my desire to crossdressor .

[JeanTG]

Start having the feelings? As a child. Recognize? In my early 20s. Accept? In my early 50s. Reluctantly.

[Karine]

As a teenager, I thought I had some kind of fetish for heels. I was too scared and had not any opportunity to try heels on at this time. I finally did it at 30. Immediatly, I thought it will be better with a dress, then with a wig, then with makeup and so on. I finally realized and understand that I am a crossdresser the first time I was satisfied with my look (especially my makeup) and felt the joy of the all process of preparation (shaving my legs, doing my nails, choosing the outfit and the shoes, doing my makeup, ...)

I now totally accept it and just trying to figure out how to deal with (how to come out to gf ?) and make it more fun (how to socialize ?).

[Ressie]

I believe recognizing and accepting are too separate things for most CDs. I can't pinpoint an exact time for either one, but accepting it came much later.

[Zafira Skye]

At what point did you officially recognize and accept yourself as a crossdresser?
Like so many, my memories of being fascinated with women’s clothing goes back to my earliest recollections. I reminisce now about secretly wearing my sister’s underwear, that sumptuous sensation of dressing in their bikinis, the quiet moments alone delighting in the soft, mellow feel of lace and satin against my skin. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t dreaming and fantasizing about being a girl.

However, it was costume dress up box which gave me the most freedom at home. Much to my father’s dismay, I loved dressing up in costumes and role playing some make believe story or fairytale. I would make up my own superhero costumes and let my imagination take me to the realm of Gotham City or Metropolis. A tight little pair of superhero pants were in reality a bikini bottom I was wearing in my imagination as a girl. The lycra superhero top was actually a hot little crop top I was wearing in my mind as the feminine me. I still enjoying dressing in superheroine costumes and role playing.

[JulieC]

I'm curious as to what point other girls realized that dressing up for you wasn't just a phase or a something you were just trying out?

I was age 24. I'd been through the guilt, the purges, the self denial, etc. We've all felt it, done it. I just never allowed myself to believe I was anything buy a regular guy. By this point, I'd been dating a girl for a couple of years whom I really, really loved. I'd purged just after we started dating, not wanting her to find anything. After a couple of years, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I went out and bought some pantyhose, and couldn't wait to get home. When I was putting them on, my hands were shaking so terribly it was difficult to put them on. When I'd gotten them on, my brain about exploded. The fundamental explosion was intense. This had nothing to do with anything sexual. It was a powerful, deep feeling that I can't describe.

I knew, beyond any doubt at that point, that I was something other than just a guy.

[Bruce64]

I am not a Crossdresser because I do not wear all the Female attire and go out in public places.
I am more a Person described as a Lingerie Fetish. I don't wear Women's make up, shoes, dresses and i do not want to be a Woman.

[ellbee]

I just did a Google Image search for "lingerie" -- all photos of women.

:confused:

[krissy]

When i got on here it took awhile for me to admit to myself and accept it .but i have been doing this since i was 7 im 58 and just this year said to myself this is who i am

[BecomingMichelle]

Being a crossdresser and accepting are two different things. I struggled with it for most of my life until finally accepting it this summer. It took decades. Still coming to terms with this side of me.

[Ressie]

I am not a Cross dresser because I do not wear all the Female attire and go out in public places.

Wearing any clothing at all from the opposite sex is cross dressing. It doesn't have to be in public. Many of us have taken this to female emulation with make up, padding etc., but even wearing panties in private is considered cross dressing. Still, you don't have to label yourself as a crossdresser. Just admit that you have cross dressed and probably will again.

[Lori Kurtz]

For me, dressing up was always a guilty pleasure--like masturbating, which, as soon as I was old enough to discover masturbation, became a part of my dressing up. I grew up in a day and age when masturbation was itself a kind of a guilty pleasure, so there was so much shame swirling around both my masturbation and my crossdressing, it was hard to just relax and enjoy either of them. And then, well into my first marriage, my wife discovered my crossdressing, and that was the end of the marriage. After the subsequent pink-fog binge, I gave up the dressing up in order to have a better chance of eventually establishing a new relationship with a woman--a real woman, rather than the pretend woman I could become. That was a success, but it left me with very mixed feelings about my crossdressing past. To some extent, I came to terms with that through several bouts of psychotherapy over the years. But I have to say that it's only in the past year or two, and largely thanks to my interactions in this forum, that I've felt more relaxed and comfortable about the part that crossdressing has played in my life, and about the crossdressing fantasies I still have. Thank you, crossdressers.com.

[MissTee]

I started very young. Somewhere before age 10. Didn't know what I was doing, just knew I liked the feel of panties, silk night gowns, etc. It was probably in my mid-teens that I understood enough to know what I did in private had a name -- cross dressing. Then I did it off and on, in private, until my thirties. Fortunately my wife Es OK with my dressing so I did it as much as I could (which was mostly underdressing) while the kids were growing up. Only in the last decade have I had the ability to dress much more it and do so. I never go "out" but have a second home and stay dressed inside most of the time. Although the desire to dress ebbs and flows, for me it has never gone away.

[Dragonfir3zz]

Welcome to our forum family home away from home.

For me i have known since very little, since that firat ballerinia out fit. Qhen i got old enough i had a few things together, but when i could drive i could buy my own.

No my parents still dont know but my 1st wife was ok with it, she REALLY liked it.

I purged about 10 yrs ago when i moved back to take care of my parents who sadly may or may not have much time left. Yet i had to get a wardeobe together, I jave friends who let me get ready at their place (all GG-lesbian and straight).
A open mined massage therapiat and a sheink i have know since he was my high school latin teacher

[ellbee]

Nope -- she wears! ;)


It's really only a word, so who cares! Sometimes people try to soften the blow on themselves & just write it off as something else to make it easier to accept. Or perhaps even just not aware of some terminology?


But there are are all kinds of "levels" -- everything from simply wearing a pair of panties on occasion, to going full-blown head-to-toes & venturing out into the world, and everything in-between.

All good! :)

[Ceera]

For me it was the first pair of feminine shoes that I bought. A simple set of black pumps with 1.5 inch heels. Prior to that, I was wearing panties under my male clothes on a daily basis, and had been for 6 months or so. I was also playing around with a push-up bra, a skirt, a blouse, and a really cheap wig, in the privacy of my home, and only when absolutely no one else could see me. It was 'something fun I was trying', I told myself, and all the 'girl stuff' I owned to that point could be crammed into a small gym bag. I hadn't even shaved off my beard yet, or bought breast forms, or any makeup of my own.

But when I bought those shoes, I had to tell myself, "Okay, I really wouldn't have that much need to buy these shoes unless I intend to actually go outside in public, dressed as a woman." That was the tipping point. I didn't go out, yet, but I knew I would, when I got up the nerve. And I knew I was finally accepting the feelings I'd had for years, looking longingly at women's shoes and clothes, and wishing I could wear them openly. The biggest thing holding me back then was that I was married, and really didn't want to screw up my marriage. My wife knew I was wearing the panties, but not about the other girly stuff.

I was about 57 when I bought those shoes, and sadly, just a few months later I was a widower and free to do as I pleased. Three months after my wife passed away, I was beardless and practicing applying makeup, had breast forms and a much better wig, and I'd come out to my daughter, who lived with me. less than 9 months after buying those shoes, I was happily going out fully dressed, in broad daylight. And I easily owned enough women's clothes and shoes to overfill a very large suitcase!

[Savannah_Skye]

I started dressing when I was about 4, though it was more simulated dressing as I used a pillow case for a skirt and so forth. I had always associated myself more with girls, so role-playing as Laura Ingalls Wilders's perfectly accessorized best friend from Little House on the Prarie didn't seems like a big deal. After getting in "trouble" multiple times for dressing as a girl, I hid it as best I could and as I grew, simply thought I just like girl stuff. I think I finally recongnized/accepted my cd/tg nature in college when I was complaining that the "other girls" could wear dresses to some dance we were having. It was the word other that finally convinced me this is no longer a phase.

[Pattie]

I can't really say for sure but I was not to puberty yet, so it was all natural. Me and my sis would dress alike as we are twins, so it was very early in my life.

[NicoleScott]

Through teen years, Army, college, and early marriage I dabbled in CDing how and when I could. After my wife busted me and then divorced me for crossdressing, I realized it wasn't going away. So I decided I needed to get better at it. I found myself with enough time, privacy, and money to get more serious about it. It took many years of trying and rejecting different looks before finding the right one for me. Fun journey.

[Tina Davis]

I started dressing when I was 10, raiding mother's and sister's closets and laundry. I liked the feel of panties, hose and heels. I dressed for a long time with no makeup or wig and started buying my own clothes in college. I knew I was a crossdresser then, but I would say that I accepted it several years later. I don't usually put on makeup unless I go out (a rare occurrence), but I do put effort into looking as feminine as possible otherwise.

[wanda66]

In my teens panties were a big thing no sisters so my mom would loose a pare from time to time .never thought much about it .Now and then over the years i had to wear support hose . Then i tryed regular pantihose, liked then better.later in my 60's i found that i enjoyed dressing up in woman's things,and it's be nonstop since,.I get to dress often and i sleep in a silk lingerie every nite.I let my hair grow so no need for wigs.
Iam in the close and the first time i call myself a crossdresser was right here. I have no desire to be a woman,i just enjoy dressing like one.

[gina shiney]

Well Allison up until recently I was in denial, sure I wore lingerie, panties, etc but crossdresser naar
I had worn items for forty years before finding this place and exploring the terms and meanings. Anyone who wears female items is crossdressing I just have to accept that fact. It was just me as I am I hadn't needed to apply a name for it. Now understanding more I think I have to learn another label. But it is still ME whatever the name you give it. You are You for the same reason
gina

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allyson:hugs:, I have been in this program for over 69yrs. ,

I guess that somewhere along the line that I officially became a Crossdresser...:daydreaming:...

[Teri Ray]

Started my curiosity with female attire when I was 7 or 8. Started with moms things. At first it was curiosity but later turned in to more. On and off I had a desire to try on different female items and soon morphed into a desire to try make up and nail polish. I never knew why I had this desire but I did know I was not able to deny it. Even though I did try. So final answer........At what point did I officially recognize and accept myself as a crossdresser? Probably when I began purchasing my own female attire.

[immike]

I started dressing at 14 yrs old,using mothers clothes,mostly her dresses&heels.Waited till she left for work in the morning&played in her closet all morning,trying on all
her dresses&heels.Over time,I got bolder&lifted a fresh,unopened pkg of beige pantyhose out of her drawer&put them on&then tried on her skirts&blouses/w heels.Soon,I was
dressing in her good skirtsuits&slacks&silky blouses

[MissTee]

As far back as I can remember in my childhood I had an affinity for soft and feminine clothing. Like a lot of others I snuck clothing from various sources and tried it on. All through my years I dressed when I could, and I believe it was in my late forties I felt courageous enough to own it within myself. So, like honey in a mason jar, it as alway there with me. I applied the label somewhere after age 45.

[Lacey New]

I have had a desire to crossdress since I was a teen experimenting with mothers and sisters panties and bras. The desire never went away even after marriage and I have maintained my own stash for years. I guess I always thought of myself as a transvestitic fetishist which might have been the best term to describe me but I always thought it was rather pejorative. So, I wanted to explore more - am I really the "pervert" that the term seems to describe? So after finding this website (and others) I have discovered that I am not all that unusual. So, I guess it would be only a few years since I have become comfortable with the fact that I am simply a plain old hetero crossdresser that has elected to remain comfortably in the closet living a bit of a binary life.

[Crystal Beth]

I was dressing from the age of 5 and spent my life sneaking around and hiding my secret. When I finally got my own apartment in my early 20's, I had not even been moved in for an hour before I hit the streets and went shopping for bras, skirts, hose, makeup and wigs

[ShelbyDawn]

My earliest memories of crossdressing go back to 5 or 6, I'm almost 60 now. It has only been the past year or so, and with extensive help from a wonderful therapist, that I have finally come to accept me for who I really am. In the process, I have denied my desire to dress and gone whole hog with a wig and professional makeup and going out on the town fully dressed. I do recommend a professional makeover for everyone, by the way. Being pampered like that is a lot of fun even if the results aren't quite up to expectations. I mean they can only do so much right? :)

Anyway, what I have come to learn is that this journey is different for all of us. Most of us are not as lucky to be as gorgeous as JenniferAtHome(my idol) and I know that I personally will never pass. I will always be a 6'3", #215, guy in a dress.
Take you time and find out where you fit in the spectrum; it is a wonderfully wide and varied place as you will be able to tell from this forum... :)
Don't put undue pressure on yourself trying to be what you 'think' a crossdresser 'should' be just experiment until you find your niche and be happy there.
Some crossdressers "have" to go all the way or it doesn't count. Others, like me, don't. We are all different.
My average day is bra and panties and women's jeans. I've actually received compliments from other guys on the jeans I wear. If they only knew(maybe they do...)
I have forms, skirts and lingerie and cute shoes that I reserve for my private time.

Hang in there...