Being dressed in front of SO

[Katie01]

My GF is totally ok with my dressing. She has given me so many of her old panties to wear that I have donated bags full to Goodwill. We always talk when I get some new cute or sexy thing. We text each other as girls all the time for fun. She knows how happy it makes me to have my girl times.

Here's the thing- I feel very uncomfortable being dressed in front of her. When she's not there I imagine how great it is going to be, but when the time comes i don't want to anymore. I've done it a few times but it's always been awkward for me. Same for shopping together. When I shop alone it's a total turn on. When we do it together, she's into it but I get super shy about it.

It might be a body image thing or something else, but I keep thinking it would add a whole other dimension to dress together.

Does anyone else have similar feelings?

[JenniferMBlack]

I have the same feelings of awkwardness when dressed with her, not so much with shopping. She is really cool about it and has fun with it but it feels wrong to me for some reason. I ly thing I can think of for a reason is all the other times I have been rejected or made to feel like a freak from other girls.

[Angie G]

I dress every day in front of wy wife. Who in awesome with it and we shop together for Angie. Just chill and go for it and enjoy youe Katie time with your lady.:hugs:
Angie

[Katie01]

Thank you wbdavid and Angie for your replies. It always feels good to be connected with others. The greatest gift of my GF's acceptance is helping me put my dressing in context. I may not feel comfortable dressing in front of her but she's helped me understand is that it's not as earth shattering and I built it up to be over the years.

[Detroit Molly]

It took about a year for my wife to get really comfortable seeing Molly around, but now it's no big deal. I've never had any anxiety about dressing in front of her, but I have been cautious about doing so out of respect for her feelings. Anymore though, I get dolled up to go out while she's sitting in my office playing Civ V or Tropico and I kiss her goodbye before I go out. I play in my band dressed up and my kids have seen me leave the house as Molly to play. Just last month my wife went out with me all dressed up for the first time and it was really, really fun.

An SO's acceptance is a gift beyond measure, and those of us who have them are luckier than we know.

[CONSUELO]

Perhaps the more you dress with her the less embarrassed you will feel. It could be that you just feel shy. It seems you have a wonderful GF who loves this part of you so just go along with it. If it persists try finding a good therapist to talk it through.

[Alice 23]

It may be a good idea to chat with your gf to see how she feels with you being dressed in front of her. I know the first few times I was dressed in front of my SO was nerve wracking and I felt similar to how you described. I know my SO accepts my dressing, encourages it even, but even after a year it still makes us uncomfortable for the first couple minutes together on occasion, if that makes sense. My advise would be, if she enjoys it and is something you want to do, just do it, even if it's uncomfortable at first, but have fun. Personally, I always put my SO's feelings first; if she's not okay with Alice "coming over to visit" as we call it, then Alice doesn't come over to visit.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I have never been dressed with my wife. She knows I do it, is supportive, but doesn't want to meet Lisa. I wish she would, but I'm not going to force the issue. Sigh...

[Micki_Finn]

I think in this instance it's important for you to reflect on exactly WHY you feel uncomfortable. If you're afraid that she's going to react negatively to you being dressed then you need to talk to her about it as only she can reassure you that she's ok with it.
If you're just self conscious about how you look dressed, perhaps your girl can help you with that too. Maybe she can help you with your makeup and outfits to find what's looks best and most flattering on you.

[Krisi]

I am not uncomfortable being dressed around my wife but I am not comfortable getting dressed in front of her. Specifically, putting on my boobs, butt or wig. Once these are on and I am "Krisi", it's not a problem to change blouses or skirts in front of her.

It's pretty much the same getting undressed. Taking off the clothes is OK but not the wig, boobs or butt. I suppose I'm comfortable being Krisi or Homer, but not some creature in-between.

[leannejacobs]

I dress in privacy, like Krisi I prefer do keep that part to myself, I do feel awkward with my wife for a while, when I'm on my own I'm constantly fussing over my hair, posing in the mirror, walking around etc. But when I'm with her I have to stay composed, don't get me wrong, I still enjoy it thoroughly, I just need to relax a little more.

[Petra1]

My wife has said repeatedly that it's okay to dress in front of her but I still feel the need to hide it. I used to naturally wake up early in Saturday's. When she awoke, she would come downstairs to find me dressed, at least partially. Now when I hear her get up, I run to Petra's closet and change back to male mode. Don't know why. As much as I want dress in front of her, I, too, find it awkward.

[Micki_Finn]

I started out like Petra. Even though the wife was open, I was hesitant. What really helped me was her being constantly supportive and encouraging. I was trying to be dressed in front of her as little as possible but she kept prodding me "Don't you want to dress?" Or even flat out telling me "You should go get dressed. I know you want to". I'm now pretty comfortable being dressed in front of her except when she's having a rough day. She still doesn't care, but to me it feels selfish to put all the time and effort into myself when I know she's worn out, mad, frustrated, sad, etc.

[Alice_2014_B]

I cannot be mid-dressed around the wife.
Once I got my boobs in and wig on then we're good to go; it's like, "all or nothing".
There's times she's done my makeup pre-wig, but that's different because she's participating in getting me ready.
:)

[Tracii G]

Micki has the right angle just because you can there are times when you shouldn't for your wife's sake.
To the ones that feel awkward maybe ask your wife to help you get over that.

[Gen D]

I'm not get dress with my wife - she is ok with me getting dress, just not with her.
but, regardless to my condition, Your GF sounds very cool, and as I learned before - Once you speak with your SO on yours needs, fears and the rest of your feeling - it is become more comfortable.

[ellbee]

...but I am not comfortable getting dressed in front of her. Specifically, putting on my boobs, butt or wig. Once these are on and I am "Krisi", it's not a problem to change blouses or skirts in front of her.

I think that probably holds true for many of us.


Only time I was *sort of* comfortable as an "in-between creature" in front of someone was when I was getting ready at a drag queen's home. Reason being, they know exactly what it's like!

But even then, I was kinda like, eek! :taom:

[Crissy Kay]

I have that problem too. My SO is OK with my dressing. It is just that I feel so weird or odd dressed up with her around. I have not been able to get over it yet.

[Tracii G]

Think about it like it was your first time out in public.
If you are a closet girl then never mind.

[Nancie64]

Maybe it's because as a male we don't have quite the same body as our female partners and that mind set may have something to do with it. I like skirts and dresses in single colors not multi. My SO just the opposite. Ask her to help you shop for clothes that she might like on you. It's hard. I almost feel more comfortable dressed as Nancie in front of my sister in law since she is more my size. She is the only other one that knows Nancie is around. Ask her for help to pick outfits that she will like. Can't hurt, she must be pretty cool if she accepts that you dress. Good luck.

[Leslie Langford]

Being in a DADT relationship with my wife who wants no part of "Leslie", dressing in front of her is not an option, so I really have a hard time relating to those here with supportive wives who would have no problem with them doing so, but are only constrained by their own shyness or feelings of awkwardness or inadequacy in going ahead with this.

To them I would pose the following question:

"At some point in your life, you would have had to have appeared stark naked in front of your wife or SO with all your insecurities about your appearance and body image in full view, and for her to be able to judge you objectively on the spot on how you looked to her. And yet, you must eventually have gotten over it. How is this different?"

[Katie01]

Thanks everyone! This forum is awesome!

[DaniT]

I am much the same way.

I only dressed up all the way for her for the first time last night. I was pretty awkward but she made me feel at ease after a little bit.

I hope it gets easier because I really enjoy sharing this part of my life.

Dani

[Lena]

When I'm with my wife, I've begun to dress in front of her. I don't get really girly though, so it's not that much of a change. Most of the time, it's only a bland polo dress that I'm wearing. I usually wear polo shirts anyway, so from the waist up, it's very similar except I get dots instead of stripes. :) If I wear a strapped dress, a nightie or a cami, I'll wear a tee over the top of it.
I also wear modest skirts with a tee shirt or polo. Again, it's not much change from male mode but it is enough of a difference to put a smile on my face.

Since I've come out to my wife, she wears dresses more often. Before, she would only wear dresses on special occasions.

I've not gotten enough courage to come out fully dressed with hells and wig yet but I'm working up to it. Last week, I had panties on while we were sitting on the couch together.

[Krisi]

I wouldn't think one would need to wear heels to be "fully dressed".

I find that the more I am dressed around my wife the more natural it feels and at the same time, the more used to it she gets. Her reaction is pretty much the same if she comes home and sees Krisi as it is if she comes home and sees Homer. Sometimes she will make a comment about a "cute outfit"

[ellbee]

Most of the time, it's only a bland polo dress that I'm wearing.

...

Since I've come out to my wife, she wears dresses more often.

Ha, awesome! :dance:

[krissy]

I kind of relate to that when i was about 30 my wife knew i loved to dress but didn't like it she had a friend this girl friend offered to do my makeup so we tried it i was on cloud nine she made me look so good and i felt great around her but i didnt want my wife to see me the friend told me to get dressed and come down the stairs so my wife could see it took alot of coaxing to get me down stairs and when i got down her friend said i looked great my wife didnt look at me much we we went to bed afterwards.in the morning she told me she never wanted to see me like that again that was 35 years ago and she hasnt look at me ever again im still with her i love her we raised 4 kids im sad that she cant accept this part of me but as i have gotten older i see i need my happiness too so i dress when ever i can for my own peace of mind .all i ever wanted is to share this part of me with the one i loved.may be the next life

[JeanW]

My wife is also very accepting even encouraging at times. I too can sometimes feel awkward and very shy being around her when dressed. It seems to go away after a while. But the feeling of submissiveness sometimes gets stronger. I cant seem to be comfortable freshening my makeup in front of her even though she was the one that suggested to me to try wearing it and is the one thats bought it for me and even showed me how to use a lash curler and liquid eye liner.

[xNicolex]

Firstly I'm pretty sure you know how lucky you are to have a GF that is cool with it. My GF is cool with my dressing and the first time I dressed in front of her I was so nervous that I felt stupid and almost backed out. But I didn't and the more I did it the easier it became and the closer we got to eachother :hugs: One of the reasons I think she is cool about it is because she recognised that I was sharing something very personal to me almost on a spiritual level and she appreciated my honesty and whole heartedness about it all. So what I suggest you do is run with it, dress up as often as you can and feel that thrill of excitement you feel alone, but instead with your GF. Good luck and I hope you both have many girly nights out together :)

[sonialexis]

My SO too knows about my dressing and she is okay with it. I once playfully told her we could play dress up together and I even would speak to her dressed on the phone. I've been with her almost 5 years but somehow now I feel I don't think I can or want to dress up in front of her. When I'm dressed I become very girly and feminine its just not how I want her to see me because I think it's enough she accepts me as I am and I want to be the man that she loves and likes for her so I keep the dressing to myself. It could change in the years to come but as for now I would not be comfortable dressing in front of her.

[Krisi]

For those who can dress around their wives but are afraid to or feel awkward doing so, let me make this suggestion:

Forget the six inch heels, forget the heavy makeup and forget the fancy jewelry and "going to the club" outfit. Dress like your wife does around the house. A simple, casual dress or blouse and skirt (or even jeans), simple jewelry, flats and just enough makeup to cover your beard shadow, along with just enough lipstick to bring out your lips.

Act like you would normally act around her. Don't try to be "girly", don't try to use a female voice, etc. It will be easier on her and easier on you.

[misschris]

My wife doesn't like it. She caught me recently and she insisted that I had another woman here that she saw. I changed quickly but didn't cover my painted toenails.

[MissTee]

I am dressed while in the company of my wife quite often. However, like others have said, transforming into Misty while she's watching is uber awkward. I prefer to put on panties, bra and forms, and something over them before I emerge as Misty. Just something about the transformation process I don't like sharing.

[Dragonfir3zz]

I am just jealous of you all just having someone, eapecially and acepting , on some level, someone. I have been single almost 4 yrs now.

Your stories do inspire hope i may find one like my ex wife again some day.

[Allison2006]

As a couple of others have said, I don't feel awkward being dressed in front of my wife, but for some reason feel awkward getting dressed in front of her - I'd rather do that in private. I also feel more relaxed shopping for fem stuff on my own than with her, although I do enjoy our shopping dates.

[Carol]

I always feel a little uncomfortable around my partner while dressed. She is totally supportive but I know she fell in love with a guy's guy so that makes me think twice about dressing too often around her.

[NicoleScott]

Like several others have said, I'd rather transform privately, but have no problem with her seeing me fully transformed. She is supportive but doesn't participate. She has no problem with my OTT style.

[Crissy Kay]

I always feel a little uncomfortable around my partner while dressed. She is totally supportive but I know she fell in love with a guy's guy so that makes me think twice about dressing too often around her.

That is what I think too. From what I have seen here over the years, too much cross dressing is a turn off for a lot of women.

[NancySue]

My wife is totally supportive and helpful. I am very comfortable dressed, as is she. It's never occurred to me to get dressed in front of her, so this has never come up. I rarely know what I'm going to wear and often will change outfits. She knows I wear visual enhancements i.e. breast forms, waist cincher, hip & butt pads, etc.. If she would ever ask to see them or watch me put on any of these, I'd gladly show her. Once dressed, I ask her for commentary. She has been very helpful especially with my makeup. We've shopped together, but I enjoy when she surprises me with something she thinks would look good on me. Life is good. 👠👗💄👜

[lauren_m]

Hey Katie, would you send me a PM or e-mail? I'll understand if you don't want to, but I'd love to catch up with you

[Cheryl T]

I felt that way at first also.
I think it's more not wanting her to see you in a less than desirable light and perhaps feeling that you are disappointing her by being dressed this way.

It takes time to get past that. I was able to be with her dressed, but not let her see me dressing for quite a while. I had this inner feeling that one day she would be disgusted by it and make some hurtful comment or just walk away. That never happened and now I've come to be so relaxed it's wonderful beyond description.
Ignore your inner fear and just go with it. Give it some time, relax and enjoy it and the reward will be more than you think.

[avant1465]

I revealed that i c/d to my S/O early-on. It's become so "regular" that she sees me in women's every morning, whilest we have coffee and read the paper. One morning,.... for reasons that I don't recall.... I came to the table in "regular, guy" clothes..... and she said; "What's wrong? ... where is Diane today?" Needless to say, I excused myself and went to change (clothes).... It hasn't happened again, since... She's a delightful lady.... and I covet her.....

[Victoria92116]

I have no issues luckily, my wife has participated every step of the way. At first it was a bit akward stepping put in just panties, but now she does my makeup and advises on clothing choices.

[Gen D]

My wife said the other day that she is getting used to the idea that she would see me dress soon and it kind of make me nerves.
On one hand - I want her to see me and I spoked with her about that in the past, but from the other hand - I know that I will feel stupid and embarrassed.
I enjoy reading your tips - "light" transformation and knowing the firsts times are the worst (for both sides...)

[~Joanne~]

MY SO slid right into it without anything negative about it. She loves me for who I am no matter how I am dressed. Sometime when i am dressed and go downstairs and walk by her I usually get "That's a pretty outfit" or "I love those heels" and that makes me sorta go into a strange vibe feeling sorta place. I'll stand in front of a mirror and think "oh lord, am I really dressed this way and walking around like it's normal (to society that is) in front of her? but I chalk it up to all of the years of closeted dressing, I still haven't fully adapted to this freedom I now have with a supportive and accepting SO.

As for the shopping, I absolutely love it. I can go into stores that I wouldn't normally go into on my own and just browse the racks while she is browsing the racks. She'll point something out that I may have missed and say "that's definitely Joanne" and usually, not always, I buy it. Shopping with her is about the same as shopping without her but it's a simple pleasure that we both enjoy so why not?

[phili]

I was embarrassed dressing in front of SOs because I felt like I was trespassing- i.e. I'm obviously a man so I'm not allowed at this table of delights. But once I straightened out my reality is that I am a man who loves feminine clothes- I was fine. I'm not competing, I'm not trespassing, I am enjoying. It helps that I am not trying to transform my body shape - what you see is me wearing clothes that fit well, and feeling at ease with myself and you.

My wife likes to look different from me, so it helps that my choices are different. I can't ask her to help me pin a dress I am wearing and also altering, which would be more fun - but I decided that it was ok just to wear what I feel, and not ask anything of her with respect to it beyond letting me have safe space.

[Robin414]

Yep, totally! My SO is ok with my gender identity but we're DADT mostly on MY part. When we first met I won her over from a guy who looked like Brutus (from the Popeye 'toons) because I was a much more sensitive Brutus! I'm still Brutus (in a white soot covered Armani suit and melted Tom Ford shades, another post) to her and I feel the need to continue to portray that illusion. I know it's not right but for me it's the lesser of the two evils 😇

No I'm not implying that being GF is evil people!

Mind you I do enjoy eating meat and cussing a lot 😠 !