Passing

[BeckyAnderson]

For all these years I have been trying to find the ever so illusive look that would allow me to "Pass." The funny thing is that I have been looking in all the wrong places.....the answer was under my nose the entire time. Last night I went to a Triess meeting and it was one of the best times I have had to date. I had dinner and a drink with some friends and we did a little shopping before the meeting.


I came to the realization that passing is NOT how I look to the rest of the world but how I feel inside. I presented well last night in a skirt, top and leather jacket and I felt so natural, confident and self-assured. People would glance my way and I thought to myself, "This is right, this is me!" I responded to their curiosity with a gentle smile and a soft hello. It was an epiphany. As the pre-meeting evening progressed I found myself immursed in feminity. And I think the way I felt was somehow transmitted to those around me because I was so well received by everyone, the waiters and patrons while having dinner and other shoppers and clerks while shopping and trying on clothes.


It was a fabulous evening and one that I will not soon forget.


Hugs, Becky

[Wendy me]

sounds like you had a real good time way to go ...

[Tina Dixon]

I have not tried to pass as of yet, getting out of the closet is the next big step, and to help me with that I have contacted the local chapter of Tri_ess, it good to know there are groups out there for us.

[Sophia Rearen]

That's fantastic news, Becky. I am so happy for you and your epiphany. What a wonderful accomplishment you have made. Now, just to build on it.

I still love this Socrates quote, " an unexamined life is not worth living".
You are examining your life a that is a tough thing to do. I applaud any lucky girl who can do the same.:clap:

[Laurie Ann]

Becky what a beautiful story and I also believe that the inner being and self image is more important that the outside shell. The outside is only a manifestation of what the world sees, the inner being is what we see and believe.

[TracyDeluxe]

For all these years I have been trying to find the ever so illusive look that would allow me to "Pass." The funny thing is that I have been looking in all the wrong places.....the answer was under my nose the entire time.




Exactly! Or maybe, instead of "under my nose", it is "between your ears"? Confidence, while so hard to obtain or maintain at times, is the key.

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Becky

I don't know if I pass or not, I really don't care. I go out to have a good time, is all. I've never had any problems I think because I'm courteous and polite to everyone I come into contact with, and I always get the same in return. I think passing is so overrated and so overdone...passing is for fast cars, not people.

Karen

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Becky- something u said really struck me..

i've posted many times about my adventures and what it really boils down to for me are those moments when i really "feel" like myself dressed... i dont know what it means but its different than being myself drab and its "better"...this is what compels me to keep dressing..

i've nver quite had a whole nite of that feeling but its funny how sometimes are better than others..we all flatter each other with you pass girl!!! comments...but i know the truth is i my best hope is to not be noticed as obviously a man..

anyway..i recall one nite i ventured into a mall..walked around the clothes section and when i see someone i run away!! hehe.. well i basically got too far in and for some reason i started (i have no explanation why)..to get more comfortable..and i started looking at purses and then started walking towards the exit..a nice salelady was right next to me and i smiled sweetly and she smiled back!!! there's that feeling...100% comfortable i kept walking and as i got to the exit a young girl was walking straight at me..at first she made eye contact and started to smile and then her whole body just tensed up..yikes its a guy!!!! i had 2 reactions...my first reaction was it ruined my nite...that magic feeling went to ZERO PERCENT and i couldnt wait to leave...later on reflection i started thinking..hehe you know....she was looking at me for quite some time before she figured out i was a man, maybe that's not so bad..btw i was wearing the outfit in my avatar, so i was very apppropriate for shopping..


no reason to post other than to say becky i liked reading your posts and share your thoughts!!

btw based on your avy, you pass anyway girl!!!

take care

[Melanie R]

I came to the realization that passing is NOT how I look to the rest of the world but how I feel inside

Becky,

You are on target when you come to know that passing is how you feel inside. If you feel confident and like yourself, others will see the person and not just the clothes you are wearing. Yesterday Peggy and I were doing a two hour class for marriage and family therapy graduate students. One half hour into the presentation one woman asked how two women could be married. She thought both Peggy and I were genetic females. Now I look good but not that good. I do, however, communicate my self-confidence which is the key to passing.

Hugs,

Melanie

[SherriePall]

Becky --
Good for you. The several times I have been out, I have fluctuated between that confidence we should have and the non-confidence (is that a word?) we shouldn't. When you hit that sweet spot of confidence and you exude it out in the real world, it's just great.

[Phoebe Reece]

Becky,

It's better to learn late than never. How you feel about yourself is the biggest factor in how other people will react to you. It helps if one can give as feminine an appearance as you do, but the final big piece of the puzzle is self confidence. It sounds like you have it all together now.

[BeckyAnderson]

sounds like you had a real good time way to go ...

Thank you so much Wendy!

[BeckyAnderson]

I have not tried to pass as of yet, getting out of the closet is the next big step, and to help me with that I have contacted the local chapter of Tri_ess, it good to know there are groups out there for us.

Hi Tina! Our chapter is perhaps not as structured as some but we are all about helping each other come to terms with this aspect of our lives. I am proud to be a member and would recommend Triess to everyone. Hugs, Becky

[BeckyAnderson]

That's fantastic news, Becky. I am so happy for you and your epiphany. What a wonderful accomplishment you have made. Now, just to build on it.

I still love this Socrates quote, " an unexamined life is not worth living".
You are examining your life a that is a tough thing to do. I applaud any lucky girl who can do the same.:clap:

Hi Sophia! Thank you so much girlfriend! It is amazing that it has taken over 50 years to reach this point. I wish I were adequately able to put into words my feelings upon reaching it. I guess that was why I related it to an epiphany! It's a peace that I have never felt before. Hugs, Becky

[BeckyAnderson]

Becky what a beautiful story and I also believe that the inner being and self image is more important that the outside shell. The outside is only a manifestation of what the world sees, the inner being is what we see and believe.

Hi Laurie! That is so true. I have felt that way my whole life about others but until this past Saturday I never realized it could apply to me also. Hugs, Becky

[michelleliz]

Isn't it great to ba a women

Michelleliz

[BeckyAnderson]

Hi Becky

I don't know if I pass or not, I really don't care. I go out to have a good time, is all. I've never had any problems I think because I'm courteous and polite to everyone I come into contact with, and I always get the same in return. I think passing is so overrated and so overdone...passing is for fast cars, not people.

Karen

Hi Karen! It's as shame that it has taken me so long to realize this. I think your signature says it all! I am yet another butterfly who has left the cocoon :-) Hugs, Becky

[Holly Body]

...you look very beautiful to me, baby.

Holly

[BeckyAnderson]

i've nver quite had a whole nite of that feeling but its funny how sometimes are better than others..we all flatter each other with you pass girl!!! comments...but i know the truth is i my best hope is to not be noticed as obviously a man..


Hi Michele! For years I have feel much like you. Even though I thought I had accepted myself, I was always wearing blinders and looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was snickering or pointing a finger, never quite feeling comfortable. There were times when I really felt upbeat about being me only to have those feelings dashed by some tiny incident and then starting all over again. It's so peaceful to have finally reached a point where I feel whole and confident in who I am. It's almost like my life is just beginning. Hugs, Becky

[Charlene Marie]

Becky. Wonderful for you, congradulations. Its very true that how you think is how you are.When you feel good in your feminine persoana it transforms everything about you. Your movements, attitude and very demennor project femininity. I think we are all kind and gentle people by nature, and even more so when in the feminine character. you are really very pretty and I hope you have many, many more memerable moments.

[BeckyAnderson]

I came to the realization that passing is NOT how I look to the rest of the world but how I feel inside

Becky,

You are on target when you come to know that passing is how you feel inside. If you feel confident and like yourself, others will see the person and not just the clothes you are wearing. Yesterday Peggy and I were doing a two hour class for marriage and family therapy graduate students. One half hour into the presentation one woman asked how two women could be married. She thought both Peggy and I were genetic females. Now I look good but not that good. I do, however, communicate my self-confidence which is the key to passing.

Hugs,

Melanie

Hi Melanie! It is amazing.....There was a saying somewhere that "Clothes make the person." While that may be true to some extent but I think it's really deeper than that. Maybe that saying should be changed to, "Clothes, heart and mind make the person." Hugs, Becky

[BeckyAnderson]

Becky,

It's better to learn late than never. How you feel about yourself is the biggest factor in how other people will react to you. It helps if one can give as feminine an appearance as you do, but the final big piece of the puzzle is self confidence. It sounds like you have it all together now.

Hi Phoebe! Thank you so much! They say, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" but guess what? This old dog is till in learning mode :-) Hugs, Becky

[BeckyAnderson]

Becky. Wonderful for you, congradulations. Its very true that how you think is how you are.When you feel good in your feminine persoana it transforms everything about you. Your movements, attitude and very demennor project femininity. I think we are all kind and gentle people by nature, and even more so when in the feminine character. you are really very pretty and I hope you have many, many more memerable moments.

Thank you so much Charlene! For the first time in my life I felt completely immursed in femininity. I'm not a woman but I felt so feminine in ways that I have never experienced before. Hugs, Becky