U r not TS nor live as a female but want to go out dressed in Vanilla Land. Why?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm continually both impressed and confused by those CD's who go out alone dressed to such ordinary venues as McD's, Dennys, Walmart, super markets, Starbucks, etc. I'd rather get a root canal than do that!:doh:

With all the; dressing to blend, hoping to not be noticed or stand out, sneaking around, trying not to speak much, and the rest of the stealth business involved in going out dressed? Then, when u get made, all the raised eyebrows, stares, politically correct SA's, under breath comments, etc.

If u don't NEED to go out dressed to do your shopping, errands, lunch, etc. why do it? I totally get those of u who live and present as female. U r honestly presenting yourself as the person u feel u r.:battingeyelashes:

But, why do cross dressers who dress in private and only occasionally go thru these needless and stressful hassles out in public?:eek:

If u r a CD who has or wants to go out solo to a vanilla venue like I mentioned, what's the thrill in it for u?:straightface:

[Amelie]

CDs are people and just like other humans they have a desire to belong, to do things that everyone else does, they want to do those things dressed the way they want to.

[Sarah Louise]

It's an interesting question. I don't go out, but it's getting to the point where I'm going to. I don't really know why as the thought of actually doing it is quite stressful. Maybe it's just to get out there and say "this is me" and not hide away. But I don't really know why. But hey, I don't know why I dress up as a woman either - but I know I like it!

[AllieSF]

Because we want to and we can! I understand your question and you know that it can be turned around, why costumes, masks, hot and sexy? It works for you what you do with all your great creativity, talent and just plane courage. I do the same to fit in, and I do. I rarely get that special thrill of just being out as Allie like I did when I first started. You know our other questions and comments to you when on those rare occasions you share your almost au natural pictures without the mask and party clothing. You really can make that work for you. However, for you, that is not your bag, and I and most of us other regulars here accept that.

[susan54]

I used to do this 2-3 times a month and have spent up to six days entirely presenting as a woman though I am just CD. I do not quite pass - though some women seemed shocked to learn that I was male - but I got a lot of wonderful feedback on my clothes and posture. This was basically ACTING as a woman and gave the same buzz as being on stage. Only if you go to a tourist spot do you get looks, mainly from people I think were American. Everyone else is neutral or positive so there is net positive feedback that gives lovely endorphins. There is also pleasure in unusual feelings like a billowing skirt or the sound of clicking heels. Thanks for this question because I have not been out in months and I have been reminded of how good it is and will go there again soon.

[Micki_Finn]

I'd say I fall into the category you are addressing, and I can give you my answer, but I couldn't possibly speak for all. For me (very new at this whole thing) it's not about thrill-seeking, but about working up the courage to do it more. I'm not 100% confident in myself in girl mode yet, so I will occasionally engage in the quick, furtive trip outside to sort of test the waters. I don't plan to ever present as female 24/7, but I would like to present and be accepted as such more than I am now and these outings are a step toward that.

[Lana Mae]

I will try to answer that question!! We are not brave, but have to build up our confidence little by little!! As things go good our confidence rises! If things go bad, we back up and regroup!! We are trying to find our feminine selves and part of it is getting out there and doing mundane things!! Our feminine selves are the ones hiding in the mirror! We really want to see them!! You know I would love it if I just happened to be dressed and needed to go to the store to just walk out the door and go to the store!! That is what I am going to go for as one of my goals!! No changing clothes to go to the store , just go!! It is still me just different clothes!! Does that help any? I hope so!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Lorileah]

Because that's who they are and they are expressing themselves?

[ellbee]

Why?

Why not? :strugglin

[Jenniferathome]

Sherry, I've written many times that it is a validation of sorts. A validation that I am doing nothing wrong and that being a cross dresser is ok. Additionally, it is like a public admission that I am a cross dresser without having to say it. But most importantly, dressing and staying home is just boring. As you note, it take some effort to get ready so why hide at home?

But with regards to this comment:


...

With all the; dressing to blend, hoping to not be noticed or stand out, sneaking around, trying not to speak much, and the rest of the stealth business involved in going out dressed? Then, when u get made, all the raised eyebrows, stares, politically correct SA's, under breath comments, etc. ...

If u r a CD who has or wants to go out solo to a vanilla venue like I mentioned, what's the thrill in it for u?:straightface:

While I do not want to attract attention, I do not think the the average woman feels any differently. I certainly feel the same in guy mode. Why would I want undue attention. But beyond that, there is no stealth for me. I use my regular voice and I speak to anyone I like. Lastly, while early on there may have been some thrill element, but now, going out is not for a "thrill." It's the reasons I mentioned above.

[Alice_2014_B]

I am one who enjoys going to regular places, especially dressed up to the fullest, heels and all.
For me, part of it is the adrenaline rush.
I do long for more outings, especially to more populated places and events.
Dressed up and staying home is still very fun; but getting out there for others to see is just exciting.
:)

[GretchenJ]

For me, the reason for going to such places , is that I want to experience life en femme, as that means more often trips to a movie, a restaurant, a mall or a trip to the supermarket than a trip to a club. And I agree with the others, it's also a badge of validation, to hide in plain sight, to be out and about with regular people, hopefully without incident

[Alice Torn]

I cannot completely explain why. It is the dare, risk of it, high of being out there as a lady, if only for a few hours. i would not want to be out, for days, though, and clubbing seems like a way too loud, alcohol influenced unsafe environment. as i need to be just me, the old bachelor guy most of the time, fixing my cars, bikes, fishing, physical work.[/I]Not having a girlfriend or wife, I use my artistic creativity, to be the lady part time.

[JenniferMBlack]

For me I like moving around walking when I wear a skirt. To that you can walk around your house sure but it is so boring. Plus if I go out dressed then I get the extra time to be dressed. Meaning if I have errands to do and I have an hour at home. I dress at home for an hour change go out for two hours then I dressed for one hour. Don't change I get three hours. But that's just me.

[krissy]

I used to go out more when i was younger .Now that im older and now that i accept that im normal in both male and female .im not hurting anyone they dont pay my bills and life is too short not to enjoy being me .:cheer::cheer:

[BettyMorgan]

It's perfectly fine to not understand why some crossdressers go out.
I agree with Jenniferathome - if I put on makeup, boobs, and wig, I find it boring to stay home. It's a lot of work. And it is validation that I can enjoy myself around others, whether that is walking the mall or eating at a restaurant. It helps to normalize my crossdressing, one expedition at a time.

It would be a boring world if we were all the same, don't you think?

[sometimes_miss]

what's the thrill in it for u?:straightface:
As usual, some just don't understand that not all of us are in it for a thrill. For me, there is no 'thrill'. All I get is the relief from the constant underlying feeling that I'm in the wrong clothes. Many people simply don't understand, perhaps because THEY get a thrill, they just assume everone does.

It would be nice if I could dress the way I feel best with no repercussions. But our society expects men to look and behave like stereotypical males, or suffer the branding of 'sissy', and essentially relinquish the possibility of mating.

Life is hard enough. I don't need any more hoops to jump through.

[Rachael Leigh]

Sherry for me it's a part of me and I have felt for a long time the need to express myself in public.
I'm not the kind that parties or goes clubbing so for me I enjoy expressing myself at those vanilla places.
I at times think it would be nice to present myself en fem more often but for me I don't need that and if I had the chance I think I would dress more in between than en fem all the time.
My circumstances just don't work for me for that however
Leigh

[Marcelo]

I like the thrill of getting busted/caught wearing 'nothing but' a panty under my skirt. Can't get busted staying at home by yourself!

Marcelo

[DIANEF]

Often I get ready and then just potter around the house pretty much trying to find things to do. Being confined to within four walls gives me a feeling of being trapped, when there's so much more I could be doing. I've not been out (in daylight) yet but am getting closer to it than Ive ever been. I don't really see it as a thrill, more a sense liberation and freedom.

[Jenniferathome]

I like the thrill of getting busted/caught wearing 'nothing but' a panty under my skirt. ...

Huh?!? What else would you be wearing under a skirt? Who exactly is "catching" you and how are they catching you? And you want this, whatever "this" is, to happen?

[Nadine Spirit]

Maybe I shouldn't even be answering this post. Maybe I should just keep waiting for the new forum section for folks like me. But your title caught my eye. I am not TS nor do I live as a female, but I go out all of the time. But then I am confused as you address your questions specifically to CDs. So, take this response as you will, as I do not consider myself TS nor do I see myself as a CD either. Somewhere in between, okay?

Anywho.......

I do dress to blend. I don't care if I am noticed. I don't sneak around. I speak as I normally would, regardless of how I dress. And I don't really understand what you mean by "the rest of the stealth business in going out dressed." And when I get made? Which is what, every time I go out? Where are all of these raised eyebrows, the stares, the PC SAs, or under breath comments? Wow, I really don't see the world that you do. Am I missing something?

Oh, and yeah, I suppose maybe I shouldn't have attempted an answer, as I do not get a "thrill" out of going out.

Hmm..... I guess I didn't actually give an answer. How about..... I go out because this is me.

[ellbee]

"I've not been out (in daylight) yet but am getting closer to it than Ive ever been."


What I've found to make that a bit easier is to head out a bit earlier than you normally would in the evening. Maybe by half an hour? That way, it's not too much of a shock for you, and it's only for a little while until it gets darker.

And once you're feeling more comfortable with that new time, start out another 30 minutes before *that*.


Of course, you have to adjust for the changing daylight hours due to the seasons. But, the basic concept is there.



On the flip side: Just how much of a night-owl are you? :D


There were a number of times I found myself out all night (usually after clubbing and/or a friend's house) -- and driving home at sunrise.

Just make sure to freshen up your hair & face first, as not to scare anyone. :laughing:



Also, maybe a cloudy day would be easier? That way you don't have all this bright sunshine.


Sometimes you do have to ease into this kind of stuff. :)

[AlyssaJ]

Well look, I can only respond for myself but I'm already seeing similar comments in this thread. I'm still very much trying to figure out what label is appropriate for me. But after a lot of research my gender identify falls squarely in the Androgyne realm. I have a very clear perception of myself that includes aspects of both genders and at varying times one more so than the other. Personally, I'd love to be able to wear whatever I choose whenever I choose as part of the expression of who I am. But the fact of the matter is, society isn't ready at all to support that. So my best option (which I still rarely get to do) is to go out fully presentable as one gender or the other.

In honesty, if I felt I could go out in a skirt, blouse, stockings and heels without having to shave my face and wear a wig, I'd do it. It'd be far more enjoyable to me than the stress of trying to "pass". I'll give you that. But as the world is today, I'm more likely to run into trouble that could endanger my safety and my life, I'm more apt to be harassed and ridiculed by co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintances to the point that it would have severe negative impact not only on my life but that of my family as well. So yeah, the path of least resistance to still be able to express myself for who I am is to present as fully one gender or the other.

So I consider myself a crossdresser. At least in so much as I'm genetically a male and wear clothing of the opposite sex. But when it comes to my gender identity, it's far more fluid. Unfortunately we still live a in society right now that won't except people like me and let us just be who we are. So I have to do the best I can.

[ellbee]

Nadine,

This is exactly the reason for the new sub-forum.


While many of us might share some commonalities, we definitely have some differences, too. Not only only within our own selves, but aspects like geography & what-not can play a role, as well. Not every part of the state or country or world is the same when it comes to this kind of stuff, for example. :)

[Nadine Spirit]

Laura -

Yeah, I've heard that. I know, California is SO progressive. How come then, in the middle of Wisconsin I found the exact same reception? Oh yeah, in Chicago it was the same. Except for the people in Chicago told me that the people in Wisconsin wouldn't be so cool with it. Oh yeah, and then there were the people in the small steel mining town in Pennsylvania. Yeah, I know not every part of the state, or country, or world is the same. But I have yet to experience the hate and vitriol that I thought I would before I ever personally experienced all that I have.

It's easy to think that people will hate, it's hard to find out if they actually will.

[DIANEF]

Hi Laura, thanks for the advice, but I think I might just be brave enough to have a full daylight outing. Sounds rather tame for some but for me it will be a big step. Really just waiting for the opportunity now...

[Rachael Leigh]

Same for my part of Texas Nadine I mean I think it's just come down to just about everyone has their own business to deal with who cares if the girl over there looks like a guy so yeah I know exactly what you mean

[AlyssaJ]

Sadly I've witnessed first hand how awful the people in Wisconsin can be. I live in one of the most conservative counties in the state. There are places where it wouldn't be a big deal and there are places where the people are such backwoods conservative bigots that'd you'd be lucky to come away unscathed.

[ellbee]

Nadine,


I think at least some of it is how one presents themselves out there.


You mention "blending." Well, fact is, some don't, from what I've seen over the years. They stick out like a sore thumb, for various reasons. Eyes will be on them. Judgements will form. And sometimes outward negative behavior will shift because of that.


And honestly, sometimes it doesn't even *matter* how good or blendable or somewhat-passable or whatever one might look. If certain people "know," they can definitely have a problem with it for whatever reasons -- and not be afraid to share their opinions.



Anyway, geography can most certainly play a role. Even as local as neighborhood to neighborhood, or city block to city block. It's a big world out there, and not everyone has had the same experiences as you.


I've been out there off & on for like 20 years, and my experiences have certainly run the gamut, everything from legitimately passing to getting clocked HARD -- and everything in-between (and I've learned why both those extremes can happen). And just as there's a lot of love & acceptance out there, there's also a lot of misunderstanding & even hate.

[redtea]

There is a big thrill in doing something your mind says "dangerous". To some people like me who have feared humiliation to the extent of never dating/touching a girl, Doing something that seems risky feels really good once the worst is over (generally the first 5 minutes, that initial walk out the door, that initial first person you walk past)

The mind tries really hard to figure out what is so humiliating but once it fails, it just turns into excitement. It's like gambling and losing 10 times in a row and expecting to lose on the 11th spin only to hit the jackpot. Well our jackpot is being at the top of our goal for the day and "getting away with it". It gives us a hit and we become more confident in ourselves.


The first time we do anything different in public, it was just to experience what it's like to wear the clothing outside. I must say when I wore spandex shorts in the sun my thighs felt so good. The black of them absorbed the heat making them feel like they came out of a hot dryer. Ever since that day I would get itches in my head to experience public dressing. Some days I'm not so brave yet the urge to be ambiguous is just too much. One night I wanted to just take out the trash wearing my special jeans. I walked out and began down the stairs only to hear someone enter the building downstairs, I panic and retreat! but 5 minutes later I try again. It's like a smoker needing to step outside for a smoke, My mind fills with thoughts about going on a adventure while I'm just watching stuff on the internet or making art.

So yeah for me it's Thrills/excitement/urges .


Life is given in a limited amount, We could be snuffed out at any moment. If I had 1 week left to live, I don't think I would sit around in my room playing dress up all day. I would go out into the world and experience the greatest highs I can think of! I would go to Victoria secret wearing a skirt and a tanktop with my lacy bralette showing in male mode and talk to as many people as I can. I would obviously tell lots of people about my fetish, because dying a virgin would suck. Basically everything I don't do because of filters created out of fear would be done. But no, we got plenty of years to live, thousands of days we think so we don't bother with the over the top thrills right now, we think we will do them later or just not at all. We hold on to secrets even though there's no reason to hold them, we avoid danger even though it was excitement in disguise, and we ultimately don't LIVE life with capital letters, we just sort of live life and that's it.

[Nadine Spirit]

Laura-

Yeah, I've been out there as well for about 20 years as well. I have a hard time believing that I have simply been lucky.

I think that more than blending, but who you are, is what goes a long way towards how other's respond to us. Trust me, I may take a decent picture, but in the real world, everyone knows I am a guy dressed as a woman. Especially when I am not in a wig or makeup, and I have my bald head showing, with a week or two of growth on my face, sporting short shorts, a tank top, and a bra. Don't even go there with me, that I experience what I experience because I pass or blend so well. Not likely.

I do believe that holding your head high, putting a smile on your face, looking people in the eye, having a sense of humor, being willing to talk to people, being willing to give others a chance. I truly believe these things go a long way.

I am not so foolish to think that stuff does not happen. Stuff happens. Stuff always happens. I get it. But I am quite confused as to why some seem to report nothing but negative experiences while I have experienced maybe two or three uncomfortable experiences. Hmmm.......

Oh, and yeah if you have legitimately passed then your doing FAR better than me, as I don't think that has ever happened. And if you've learned how that extreme can happen, maybe you should enlighten all of us.

Rather long winded, but really just to say - don't blow off my experiences by stating that my geographical location is why I have had the experiences that I have had, or imply that I have not been doing this long enough, or state that my ability to blend is so fabulous. Maybe something else is actually going on here.

How did this thread turn into a conversation about my personal life experiences anyway???

[Robin414]

Interesting thread Sherry, I'm the dreaded GF myself but I did at one time identify as CD (DVD, Blue Ray). From a deep phsycolological perspective maybe it's 'testing the water', like what's it like to really interact and feel like the opposite birth gender?

[sara.rafaela]

I am a crossdresser. I just dress for fun. I sort of agree with Sherry. I can get myself to be passable at a distance. It takes a lot of effort, contouring makeup, hip pads, corset, etc. This does not make for a comfortable trip to Starbucks. I do go out often, to vanilla land, but it is to clubs, live music sites, bars, something exciting.

[ellbee]

Nadine,

Perhaps we're taking this thread too far off-topic? LOL


No one is "blowing off" your experiences -- just as no one else wants theirs to be. :)

But what I was originally getting at, is that there are a *lot* of variables out there, as you know, which can certainly determine one's own experiences -- and which can vary even within minutes of each other. Some of these aspects we can "control," and there are others which we simply can't.


From what I've read here with others sharing their stories, apparently everything isn't all doom & gloom, as the OP alluded to. Plenty of positive experiences, and many more neutral ones. And yes, sometimes some bad ones, which may be inevitable.



Anyway, it sounds like the OP had more in mind regarding the "why" rather than the "what happens out there" kind of thing.


And I suppose the answer to that is, there are a lot of different answers!

Those who are new to the idea of going out in public, and/or who are doing all this for a certain reason at a certain level, can easily differ from those with more experience under their belt, and/or who have something else a bit more than "just simple CD'ing" going on.


There's no one right answer. And even then, one answer is not "more right" than another.

[Dena]

It gets boring staying at home when you get dressed! I love to feel the breeze caressing me with my dress over my slip, bra, panties, and stockings. I got fairly good with my makeup (colors and application), clothes, complimentary styles and colors, and that's when I wanted to get out.

I went out a number of times but never found a place I wanted to "hang out" at. Then I caught a thought that going out was kind of macho!
Going out became less fun for me for those two reasons.

[Jenniferathome]

...I do believe that holding your head high, putting a smile on your face, looking people in the eye, having a sense of humor, being willing to talk to people, being willing to give others a chance. I truly believe these things go a long way....

Not just a long way, all the way. And this relates to Sherry's question/assertion about "stealth." I think the normals react negatively to stealth. When confronted with a happy person, it's far harder to dis them. There will never be 100% positive experiences, but I don't get that in guy mode either.

[Tracii G]

I do it because I want to.
I have no idea what people see when they see me male? female? who knows for sure.
Its just me being me no stress or anxiety being seen in public. No sexual thrill or thinking I pass 100% because I know I don't.
If I can go out and get along with everyone and live my life its all good and maybe just maybe I can show someone that TG people aren't bad people.
I see things a lot like Jennifer its just me doing my thing.
Sherry the act of blending is not stealth at all because you are out there trying to look as much like a normal female.
Stealth would be more what you do. Wearing a mask is hiding to some degree is it not?
I think what you do is fabulous Sherry and you are really unique. That is a good thing.

[Teresa]

Sherry,
I know we have this conversation before when you differentiated between vanilla outings as shopping in malls and going for coffee to going out to meet others dressed in a social situation. I know Jen prefers the day to day outings as apposed to meeting in groups but to me the line is blurred. When I go out it's in daylight to drive the the venue, t a hotel, so you do meet the general public, that is other hotel guest and the staff, also last time there was a wedding going on and our group was asked to join in at the reception the bar area was open to all, OK we were being eyed up but that was inevitable. Next time our meeting will be a barbecue held at the home of a member that will mean walking through part of her village , it something we will have to accept whether it's a thrill or not, so why do we do it ? Well to get from A to B and that's what many others have to do, they want to shop or go for a coffee and wish to do it presenting as a woman, but maybe not passing as one , OK some are bound to look but very rarely make a comment.
I'm sure some members actually do want to be read , to be caught out as a thrill , a big high, they have their reasons to do it, and maybe some will think they are doing our community some harm, well there are worse things people do out in public so if they wish to do it to raise a few eyebrows then who are we to stop them, maybe we shouldn't question our own community quite as much. As Allie asked why do you only go out wearing a rubber layer, I couldn't do that, if I couldn't go out dressed as me I probably wouldn't do it at all and certainly not encased in rubber, sorry Sherry I can't see the point in that .

[donnalee]

As someone who dresses pretty much 24/7; I don't look at it as dressing fem; it's dressing as me.
As to a reason for going out, I can no more explain it than I can why I dress in the first place, except that it feels right to me.

[Alice Torn]

Hate is an extremely explosive, strong word. It is more likely surprise, being uncomfortable with what is unusual, strange to them, caught off guard, not what they are used to seeing, maybe against their upbringing and religion. Hate is sometimes used recklessly on here. Most are just not at all used to seeing a guy dressed as a woman.

[AnnieMac]

So what is this new sub-forum about that was suggested earlier?

And on the topic, I am primarily closeted but I do indeed feel the draw to be out in public, not sure why yet, although
I've been dressing a long time.

In two times that I was seen in public, one time when I was strolling in the evening at a strip mall, I got the dreaded," OMG
That is a MA - AAN, " yelled at me from a car, it scared me a little so a went to back to my own car. The other time I was dressed in a Hotel Room just walking out the door, and A guy smiled at me and said hello, in a way like any normal guy might do politely when he runs into a woman in a hallway. Interesting extremes I thought. But I honestly think at least for me that it is not all that complicated. I just like to look and feel like a woman sometimes and being in public helps that perhaps. I dunno I'm no transgender genius by any means.

Lastly, Nadine, you mentioned you don't get a thrill out of it, but you do seem to get enjoyment from it - what do you like about being out and about?

[Elizabeth G]

For me there is no simple answer. Validation as Jennifer said, it is for me simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. I feel more alive. Perhaps those emotions will temper over time but for now the opportunities are few and far between so it is still a very exciting thing to experience. Also, I think that the idea of casually strolling along and being perceived by the world around me, at least at first glance, as a woman just feels good. Again, validation I suppose.

[mykell]

sherry i may not be the most experienced at being out in the wild but i have learned one thing, its is much less stressful than a root canal, that being said that would not be my answer before joining here....
i can honestly say that if i had the what i consider the attitude or courage of say nadine for instance, presenting in public in various states of dress and having a "water off my back" attitude while doing it some forty years ago i would have a lot less "what if" moments.
the one thing it wasnt for was thrill, it was because i wasnt doing anything wrong, whether im going to a support function with an understanding group, stopping to buy makeup remover cause i ran out, getting gas or buying a burger i was for the most part genuine. im a person who likes fashion, albeit what is considered womens fashion. the only reason i have forms it to get less of quizzical look when i decided to venture out, worked on my makeup skills to look less like a clown, again to blend into the background and not draw attention. just as i do when not wearing those clothes.

now ive shared good times and ive had some bad or uncomfortable times out and shared them and was called out when i did but its not always going to be sunshine, rainbows and puppy love. we are a largely stigmatized part of society and the more we put ourselves out there the more folks will realize we not predators and sexual deviants, we like wearing clothing from the opposite side of sears and sometimes we just have to pee.

awhile back you shared a candid photo of yourself, i thought you looked rather nice, would you not like to jump out of the car and run in to a ordinary venues as McD's, Dennys, Walmart, super market, Starbucks, etc. as "yourself" and not sherry and not have it remind you of a root canal ? still confused ?

[audreyinalbany]

there is an old joke that asks why dogs lick their private parts, and the answer is "because they can" Guess that's the same reason I go out dressed. Because I can.

[Barbara Jo]

For me it's really simple..

I can see myself as a woman when at home.

However, whoever I appear in public enfeme ( even if I have no real interaction with other people) I love it when others can see me and just assume that I am a woman.

BTW, I always love to wear ether a skirt or dress in public, and that also removes any any doubt that anyone might have that i am female .

[Krisi]

Well, I've read a lot of complicated answers and some off topic chatter but for me, I go out dressed to see how well I am doing presenting as a woman. Yes, to see if I am passing or "blending".

If I get normal reactions or no reactions from people on the street, I must be doing OK. If I get negative reactions, laughs, finger pointing, etc., I am not doing OK and need to figure out why and improve.

Now since I am trying to be a "normal" woman, I will be going to places that normal women go and doing things that normal women do, I suppose I am going to "ordinary venues". That's fine with me and I do not find it boring.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sherry:hugs:, It is like I've said before, " It is just who I am , And it is just what I do. "

Having the best of both worlds is fantastic...:daydreaming:...

[josrphine]

Hi I vote with Nadine Spirit. I go out because its me. I like to go to the hard Rock Casino in tampa Fl. I go almost every Sat. for the day I under stand what Nadine is talking about, If u dress on how you like, my wife has taught me that less is better. Then on Sunday I attend our church still as Josephine. I am very well received an respected, I have talks with many women and men as to why I am dressed as a women. I don't care if they think I am some sort of a predator. I have talked at collages human class's they have 40 to 50 young people attended. I have been held over for questions some bad some good. But the best thing that has happen to me is that I have been told that I look like a women. Remember less make up big boobs 4 to 6 inch heels and short skirts age great if you want to attract a man. I am married an have a great wife were we are our best girl friends. Josephine

[AllieBellema]

I'd mainly say it's because of the type of clothing I like to wear compared to most else since you don't typically see petticoats and hoop skirts out in the everyday world. Other than that, I really haven't thought much about it and last halloween has so far been the only time I've been out in public in a dress. Not to say the desire wouldn't ever be there, if the situation comes up and I have the right outfit and learned how to do makeup, then I'd seriously consider going out in public.

[Kate Simmons]

My main purpose is to show others it's not such a big deal. Simple really. :battingeyelashes::)

[Dana44]

Okay Doc, Why, since we do not have a gender fluid link open yet, many of us go out as we are expressing ourselves and showing our femininity. And since we can it is not atypical thrill although pleasant to be called a mam by a waiter. Also since I have done it so often, it just seems me out there and yes they can call me a woman. But I have a male side to maintain also. In one town I am always female and in the other always male. LOL so we do it because we enjoy being out and about.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I went to the Washington State Fair today. If I were to go to the fair en femme, I'd stand out like a sore thumb. Not because I'm six foot and 195-200 pounds, but, because I'd look like I'm going to a costume party: dress and slip, hosiery, heels, makeup, and. I am assuming all the female I saw were wearing bras and panties, although I'm not too sure about either. I'm stuck in the June Cleaver 1950's. That's my comfort zone. My comfort zone does not include laughs, finger pointing and ridicule. That defeats the purpose of my appearing as someone who I know I am not. It's avoidance. A coping mechanism. A method of dealing with combat related PTSD that is cheaper than a paid therapist. I get mine for free anyway.

I am content to do my domestic chores en femme. Or sit in the backyard or prune roses. Or read a good book. I have ventured forth in the early evening darkness and enjoy the cool breeze caressing my thighs as the wind wisps my dress and slip. At Halloween I have dolled myself up and went into stores. I have interests. But, I see no point in dolling myself up to go to a hobby store or model building club I may enjoy. I have no desire to sit with family, friends and acquaintances because it does NOTHING for me. Yes, I am legally and morally free to do it. But? I am content where I am. Maybe there are many others who really do need to go forth and appear as a woman to valid who they are..to themselves. I think I am in balance. Remember the old sew saw math problems with a fulcrum. Balance the fulcrum in the correct location and the light weight and the heavy weight will balance out. That's me.

[JaytoJillian]

I live for the applause, applause applause

[Alice Torn]

Elizabeth, I can relate to your feelings of 'terrifying, and exhilarating" . I sometimes think of taking a back up wig with me, just in case some jackass grabs my wig off my head!

- - - Updated - - -

Josephine, I ever went to my church on Saturday sabbath services, i would be taken out in the hall, and told to leave, until i repented, and allowed to come back in guy clothes.. Such differences in churches!

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u all for your replies. I found them informative and enlightening. I get that a few of u DO get a thrill simply doing daily things dressed.:thumbsup:

And, I totally related to Jenn's reason: validation. We r ALL looking for that in one way or another aren't we?:hugs:


Because that's who they are and they are expressing themselves?
But Lorileah, u nailed it. Rite to the point and in words even I can understand.:)

The gist of which many others said is; T's wish to present themselves as the women they feel they r. Wherever and whenever possible!

While I do the opposite. I try to present as women I'm definitely not.:daydreaming:

[Alice Torn]

Redtea, You are not alone. i am a virgin, at 62, will likely die one. I did date from about 27, to 53 occasionally, but never had sex. It hurts that i am among the probably less than one percent of humanity that never had it, and am among the 2 or 3 percent that never got to marry, or knew closeness with a mate. My dressing is in many ways a substitute for a wife. And i go out occasionally as my wife!?

[suzanne]

It's not so much that it's a thrill. It just feels like liberation to me. A weight that's been taken off my shoulders. Most of the people who see me dressed are not giving me feedback at all, and there's NO negative comments, so where's the hassle?

Once you've addressed your own internal fears and found a way to sweep them aside, your life can begin.

[NatalieLM]

Myself I feel somewhat like a female trapped in a male body (still working that one out) but when I am dressed at home I feel really good other than I then feel like a female trapped in my home instead! It is like I can't win!

I've taken some trips out in girl mode to clothing and shoe stores but have felt self-conscious and dreaded it when a SA asks how I am or asks if I need any help! I prefer to go where there is less chance of an interaction until I am more confident re my look and voice.

Recently I have taken on-board "age appropriate" and "blending in" rather than dressing in what I really like (ie pretty dresses) and I've felt a lot more comfortable out and about. I still don't want to interact with anyone yet so Vanilla Land it is. Vanilla Land allows me to baby step my confidence without going completely deep end.

Also, I don't have a friend that I can go out with, if I did I think I would definitely be keen on someplace more interesting.

[ellbee]

"Also, I don't have a friend that I can go out with, if I did I think I would definitely be keen on someplace more interesting."


Having someone else there alongside you can definitely help a bunch! :thumbsup:


And interacting with a SA or whatever is actually pretty cool. They'll be professional about it, and plus there's the added element to it all, of focusing on a common goal shared by both parties.

It does take some confidence, but really, anyone can get there! :)

[Sarasometimes]

Why would you CD and stay home all the time?
The challenges of doing this is not my reason for going out. I go out because I want to go out wearing women's things because I like to do that. I actually complete the picture to my best ability to avoid the attention I would get if I did it as an obvious male. In my neck of the woods, bald men nearly 60 years of age are very likely to be seen as a freak if they are out wearing women's boyfriend jeans or a pair of leggings and a tunic. If I go through the effort to blend/pass I am more likely to be viewed in the gender spectrum which is where I reside.
I believe that if my society accepted the "freak" version mentioned above I would likely skip the rest of the package, although playing with makeup is fun too.
For me it is about being able to express my gender feeling at that time. I also enjoy my presenting as a male time too. Do I also qualify for the new forum??

[BillieAnneJean]

Imagine building an experimental (home built) airplane and never flying it. You sell it and build another. There are quite a few people who do just this as the enjoyment for them is in the building, not the flying. Some of these builders create absolutely beautiful finished products.

And then there are those who build, either in a moderate finish or some in the highest of standards, who really want to experience "what it will do". They are not attempting to fly faster or higher than anyone ever. They just want to have the experience going the usual places. Like just about every airplane that exists.

There are some who build and never or rarely fly their creations out of fear or lack of what we pilots call currency, meaning recent experience. Recent experience is directly related to realistic confidence.

For some of us CDers the satisfaction comes from the transformation. It is enough and bless them for that.
Some are not current or lack the comfort level to go OUT enfemme. I wish them all happiness.
And some want to see what our creations will do by doing what women do, more or less.

It is all good.

I am getting ready right now to go OUT enfemme right in the midst of a group of the General Public (GPs) to volunteer at the information desk. I will do this one day per week for over a month at ArtPrize. The daily attendance averages 30,000 and I will be right in the middle of it.


SUCH FUN!
Billie