how to tell your wife you want to crossdress

[demi]

I need help. she knows I wear panties + more but i love dresses + bras she does'nt know I have 3 set's of forms. she great

[Sophia Rearen]

Demi, no need for morse code here. How about a little more information? In sentence form, please.

[Emily1]

maybe you could start with something like - " I'm a transvestite - sorry I didnt tell you before we got married " and see what she says:cheeky:

[Shelly Preston]

How about a trip to the rocky horror picture show or watch it on dvd

It might help to get the conversation going

[Bev06 GG]

Oh Demi,thats a difficult one.

The thing is no one knows her like you do. All RGs react in different ways and all relationships are different. You obviously have a good relationship but thats sometimes even trickier.
I can only speak from my own experience, and I appreciate absolute honesty. I'd like to think that if my partner had something really mind blowing to tell me he'd sit me down and assure me that I was more important to him than any issue he might have, but that he needed my support and encouragement to proceed.
If I reacted badly I know that once I'd been given time and space to think about it and find out all that I could about it, I'd more than likely come round to the idea, but that would take time. However, thats me talking, and your wife could be totally different.
I do know tho that most RGs need to know how important they are to you, and how much you value their help and support in everything, so maybe thats a good starting point.
Whatever you do, dont tell her and then go off into a quiet sulk if she doesn't respond the way you would like her to. Keep talking to her and loving her. The thing she will need the most however she takes it, is lots of attention and TLC. Dont take it for granted that if she responds positively that thats the end of the matter.
My partner is great, but sometimes gets very narciscistic and forgets Im there. Fortunately for me I dont let anyone forget Im there and I speak up, but some ladies can go off into a sulk hoping that her fella will realise theres something amiss and give her some attention. TGs do not always notice things as they are too busy noticing themselves.
Hope thats been alittle helpful and I wish you the best of luck. Dont forget there are RG forums if she should need some support.
Take care
BEVXXXX

[Deanna2]

Hey Demi, you are on a much travelled road, but how you travel it is up to you.

You haven't given folks much info to help greatly. It depends on how openly you wear the panties and other gear. There a number of transitions you have to make. You've obviously made an important one so far. Believe me though making the transition to openly wearing dresses or skirts is probably much harder than panties. Getting to wear a bra, wig and makeup may be way down the road.

[Helen MC]

Be very careful! Two posters here have recently told their wives and it has blown up in their faces!

So at least she knows and I assume accepts that you wear panties so that's a good start. Good luck, but take it very carefully. Don't just blunder in.

[Sarah Rabbit]

Hi all

I took the wimps way. I got pretty drunk one night, while we were out. As we layed in bed, I stuck my head in the pillow and blurted it out. Mind you that was after month's of pondering as to whether I shoud tell her or not. At least being drunk, I could have used that as an escape clause if it went wrong, ( Aw honey, I was only kidding, drunk,not myself, a friend dared me. etc.etc) I know a lot of you girls wouldn't agree with the method, but you have to admit, it's not like your telling them something minor, like you just shop lifted.

Hugs, Sara R :bunny:

[melissacd]

With love, break it to her at a time when she is feeling good about the relationship, have lots of resources (pre-selected websites and forums, books, videos, articles and most importantly your honest answers to all the many questions she will ask) with love, be prepared for a very strong reaction, be prepared to be very patient with her, be prepared depending on that reaction to have to give up cross dressing for a long time until she can come around, if she does come around, with love oh and did I say with love :)

Patience, discussion, conversation, being open, assuring her that you are still the same person she feel in love with, assuring her that you do not want to be a woman or dress like a woman 7/24, not forcing anything on her that she is not ready for...there are so many things that you will have to be prepared to do, however, like anything in a relationship you work at it and hopefully it works.

It can be a very frustrating process, I know, I have been going through this for a long time. It can, however, also open the door to a whole new and wonderful chapter in your relationship. I am chomping at the bit to get to that section of the book of life.

All the best.

Huggs
Mel

Oh and by the way did I say...with love :)

[rachel-h]

maybe a letter written explaining everything maybe a good way.Give it to her and sit in the room as she reads it with her favourite bottle of wine at hand. Dont give it to her dressed either or that will be the undoing of any chance of reasonable conversation after.
I told my wife while dressed as a girl at a fancy dress party , a costume that she chose too!. Not the best way , there were lots of tears and days of soul searching by us both but we came through.
only you will know if and when the right time is but all i can say is give her the time to adjust if you do tell her.

[Billijo49504]

Another idea is to take her shopping for her. And when you see something you like, ask her how she thinks it would look on you and can I get it. She might just say yes. you're getting her pretty things, maybe she will let you have a pretty thing. Then when she gets tired of seeing you in one outfit, she might tell you to get another. Good luck..BJ0.02

[Melanie R]

One month after we were married I wrote a 40 page letter to my wife with all the details of my crossdressing history and delivered it to her office to read. Three hours later she called me at my office (that 3 hours of waiting was hell for me) and told me that she loved me and would attempt to come to understanding and acceptance. This letter and revelation later led her to write her first book, My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing from the Perspective of a Wife. Most of what I wrote her are in the book.

Melanie

[Rhiannon]

I need help. she knows I wear panties + more but i love dresses + bras she does'nt know I have 3 set's of forms. she great

Just say to her, "turn around and close your eyes" and when she does, slip on a dress, run out the back door and skip down the street.