How much does a secret weigh?

[Lovely Rose]

Hello everyone,

So I was watching this YouTube video that discussed how much does a secret weigh, it referred to an experiment that asked participants to write a secret on a piece of paper, in short, people with bigger secrets found the same physical activity to be harder.
This led me to think of my biggest secret, cross dressing, does this secret weigh me down? Is preventing me from being a more productive person? Should I come out of the closet for the sake relieving my chest and becoming a better more focused person?
I don't have the answer to all of these questions and I want to hear from you my fellow cross dressers.

Love.
Rose.

[susancheerleader]

To be honest. It does weigh me down. Most if not all my family know only because they came into my house when I wasn't around and found all my girl clothes. They don't talk about it though.
I am going to two different counselors. One knows of my dressing, the other doesn't. The one who does wants me to tell the other who doesn't know.
I am chicken to do it. I am uncomfortable talking to people about my dressing.
But I am not embarrassed with dressing.
It makes no sense, I know.

[Micki_Finn]

I'm afraid that these are intensely personal questions you're asking and I'm afraid that you are really the only one who can answer them for you. For me, keeping this particular secret from people doesn't feel like a burden at all. For me it falls into the same category as the color underwear I'm wearing. Yes it's a secret but nobody needs to know (that doesn't already) so I don't stress about it.

[Alice_2014_B]

I just recently told a friend of mine in my squadron; knowing he is gay and open made it very easy.
Only other person in my unit that knows is a lesbian friend, and she's really cool.
It really helps when you tell a few friends such a secret; it seemingly lightens the weight of it.
:)

[Allisa]

About 60 lbs., my CDing secret had me somewhat depressed and confused so I gained the weight for some reason. Than when I could no longer bear it and the pink fog hit once again I gave in and accepted my burden and lost the weight and got healthier, BP, colesteral, etc. without prompting, the heavy burden was gone and I got on with my life guilt free. I must add that I did not have the added burden of SO and children.

[Jenniferathome]

Keeping this secret from my wife was slowly driving a wedge between us. I didn't realize it at the time but it's clear that keeping such a secret weighs on your relationship. IT's hard to be open about everything "except"... Once out, I was able to be completely open, without reservation, and our relationship is the better for it.

As to how much a secret weighs? I think Brian said it best in response to Reg, "A Lot!"

[taylormercedes]

It weighs quite a bit. I had been going back and forth all summer with telling my wife that I wanted to dress up and it was stressing me out alot and constantly weighing on my mind. But once I told here I have been feeling a lot better. As for telling other people, we'll that's a story for a different time and place.

[ellbee]

Depending on who you tell & how you share it, there's always the risk of opening a whole new can of worms, so to speak.


Could be good, could be bad, could be neutral.

[Savannah_Skye]

Wow those are some great questions and I do not have the answers but would like to share a few thoughts.

I try to view cross-dressing not as a secret but something I choose to simply keep private from certain family and friends and also work. Not everyone needs to know... maybe because they won't understand or maybe it's none of their business. Keeping personal things private is way different than having to keep a secret and keeping it private is more of a choice (at least to me). Sometimes, though not always, secrets make it sound like we have something to hide and thus maybe leads to guilt, embarassment, etc.

As for coming out, I came out to a few people and had both positive and negative reactions, and it took me a while to get ready for those discussions. I did note those discussions went better when I was no longer guilty or embarassed and spoke with confidence. Support groups and online groups helped a lot too to alleviate the pressure of holding a secret.

[Jaylyn]

I don't feel everybody needs to know my secrets. They are mine and those that they can affect. My wife knows and asked me not to embarrass or let our kids know. Simple the one person that it would affect is my wife. We are old and retired and all the kids are on their own with their own families. I don't let the dressing become an issue or the only thing in my life I enjoy doing. I have many hobbies, friends, and a lot of time. My dressing at my house doesn't involve friends, I'm not out so I can't feel stressed about keeping a secret from my friends or worry about them finding out. Wife lets me have time when I tell her I need a little Jaylyn time. It all works out and no secrets.

[Katya@]

I am chicken to do it. I am uncomfortable talking to people about my dressing.
But I am not embarrassed with dressing.
It makes no sense, I know.
Makes so much sense to us, your fellow CDs.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess it really depends on how much it "weighs" on us. :battingeyelashes::)

[Teri Ray]

For me I could not have ever realized how much internal issues I was dealing with before I had a great discussion with my wife. Once I had this talk and let out my secrets to my wife I felt much closer and free to be open with my wife. I have no desire to share my passion with others but sharing my crossdressing desires openly with my wife unloaded a huge burden on me. I am fortunate to have a wife who isn't necessarily excited about my desires but neither did she act completely shocked and disgusted. So, I believe, for me unloading "the secret" has made my wife and I much closer. I couldn't have understood this until my wife and I had this difficult discussion.

My situation and, our results may not be typical but, for my wife and me, not having "the secret" any longer has been a blessing.