I'm a girl

[suzzi]

hi ladies! I'm so depressed :( I want my sex life but torn between suzzi and me , I love women and I fantasize about men? HELP!!!

[Pat]

It's OK to love women and fantasize about men. So what is it that you feel would be a successful resolution to your problem? Attraction is just attraction; no harm in that.

[DIANEF]

Nothing wrong with fantasizing about things, Most of us do it, acting on those fantasies is a different matter. Only you can decide what you want.

[Fiona123]

I have depression too. I hate being closeted. Suzzi (pretty name btw) your fantasies are normal, I have similar ones. You are not alone by any means.🌺

[suzzi]

has anyone wanted a man? to be loved by one? I want one
but I'm a girl. with a penis.

[Ressie]

I love women and I fantasize about men

Suzzi, your avatar and profile pic convey that. This feeling and desire isn't uncommon. I'd rather not give advice. It's something you have to deal with in your own way.

[Mayo]

So fool around with a guy and see if you like it (be safe, of course!). You don't have to go all the way on the first try. If you decide you don't enjoy it, don't beat yourself up over it - you tried something new and it wasn't for you. If you do enjoy it, then you may be bisexual, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

[Krisi]

I'm sorry you have this confusion, but like Ressie, I am not in a position to give you advice except to say that you need to work this out on your own or possibly with professional help.

[Adriana Moretti]

nothing wrong with being BI and enjoying the best of both worlds

[Gwyneth]

I'd have to say I'm right where you are. And its much harder than I thought it would be!

[Leslie Langford]

Hmmm...interesting post here. It has all the hallmarks of a troll on a fishing expedition. The title and subject matter seem like classic click-bait, especially given the lack of detail given by the poster as to why they allegedly feel this way, yet trying to draw us out to open up about ourselves.

Speaking strictly for myself - not gonna happen!

[Leslie Langford]

Sorry, but I'm not buying this alleged cry for help.

As I said in my response to suzzi's other post today - "hurting here" - this one also has all the hallmarks of a fishing expedition by a troll.

I, for one, am not falling for it and posting a response, especially since "she" has provided remarkably little background information to support the click-bait directed towards us here.

[Kate Simmons]

I've been with guys but in all honesty it's like a lot of things. It depends a lot on the person. :)

[Jessica S]

What's with all the " I want to be with a guy" " I want to kiss a guy" post. It has nothing to do with crossdressing and everything to do with sexuality. These post reinforces the stereotype " if you crossdress you must be gay". If a women came on here to find out about crossdress of the SO. What would she think but the old stereotype. Can't we stick to a crossdressing theme?

[LilSissyStevie]

The title and subject matter seem like classic click-bait...

I don't know anybody here in real life so I don't know how REAL any of the posters are. I think it's just better to address the issue rather than the person.

My question for the OP is: is this man anyone in particular? Most hetero GGs fantasize about a particular man not some symbolic faceless man that makes them feel like a woman. I know that when I'm infatuated with a woman, I'm thinking more about her bits than mine.

[Nigella]

What's with all the " I want to be with a guy" " I want to kiss a guy" post. It has nothing to do with crossdressing and everything to do with sexuality. ... Can't we stick to a crossdressing theme?

At this point in time this is the only forum where this is appropriate. In due course, with the new forum (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?99-TG-Gender-Non-Binary), this type of thread will belong in that forum.

[docrobbysherry]

Actually? Once u finally get out and meet other dressers, you'll find out quite a few enjoy the company of men. Or, "admirers", as men often called in T venues.

Many T girls I know enjoy being with men in clubs. But, don't "date" them.

And, some r only interested when they r dressed.

I must admit, altho I've no attraction to males, I have enjoyed flirting and dancing with attentive admirers when clubbing!:o

It's kind of fun feeling like a desirable female!:battingeyelashes:
Rare for me because there's no chance of me passing.

[AllieSF]

What's with all the " I want to be with a guy" " I want to kiss a guy" post. It has nothing to do with crossdressing and everything to do with sexuality. These post reinforces the stereotype " if you crossdress you must be gay". If a women came on here to find out about crossdress of the SO. What would she think but the old stereotype. Can't we stick to a crossdressing theme?

Jessica,

This type of post does not reinforce that stereotype. It just shows the reader that there are many types of crossdressers and trans people with different tastes, desires and needs. Sexual preferences whether the fantasy type or the real thing are part of this site and are discussed regularly as they come into how one sees themselves in real life or elsewhere. The SO that comes here to learn more should have a good basis of common sense and practicality. If she can't handle the truth about the broad spectrum of members here, than maybe should not be here.

Suzzi, As Jessica has pointed out, there are several past and probably still open threads on this very topic. You may want to check those out because there is a lot of good information and comments there, both pro and con. Enjoy reading them.

[docrobbysherry]

How do suppose we can help u, Suzzi? Give u some guy's phone number?:straightface:

[Allisa]

I agree with you on both counts Leslie.

[Gwyneth]

Its also tells the story that even here there are people who try to read into why someone is posting. I've tried to get started crossdressing. Its not that easy. Maybe after you've done it a while, but at the beginning its hard. Especially for people like me who wants to use any look I can conjure up to make myself more appealing to another man. So yes I'm hurting too. I'm a gurl that wants to play.

[suzzi]

thanks , but I'm really want a man, I'm so want to be a woman! to be treated like I treat women! I'm not gay I'm a woman!

[Gwyneth]

Any man would be lucky to have you. You would treat him right.

[Ressie]

What's with all the " I want to be with a guy" " I want to kiss a guy" post. It has nothing to do with crossdressing and everything to do with sexuality.

The two go together for many CDs. I'm just as tired of hearing that CDing and sex are two different things. They are for some, while for others the two might be inseparable. I think there's a latent homosexual factor that comes out for some when they dress in female attire. And it may take years of dressing before this realization happens. Just an observation.

But it sounds like Suzzi is maybe TS rather the CD?

[Gwyneth]

hi ladies! I'm so depressed :( I want my sex life but torn between suzzi and me , I love women and I fantasize about men? HELP!!!

Everyone in here knows its much easier to please a man than a woman. So why not want another man. In the past I've been very attracted to CDs. So much I would want to try it myself. I would love to pull of getting made up, dressed, and walk out to a LGBT bar. Would love that feeling until a guy grabbed my ass and wanted to take me back to his place. Then I would love that feeling more.

[sometimes_miss]

But it sounds like Suzzi is maybe TS rather the CD?
MAYBE is the key word. Maybe not, as well. Way too many possibilities.

Some thoughts:


I think there's a latent homosexual factor that comes out for some when they dress in female attire. And it may take years of dressing before this realization happens.
There is also the possibility that having the desire to perform sexual acts on a man isn't sexual at all, but stems from another feeling entirely. As a kid, I was in a situation where the only time I felt safe was when I was with my abuser, and he was my only source of affection as well. So I wound up linking feeling safe and loved, with basically being a girl for him. Do that for seven years, and it kind of gets stuck in your mind forever. As that time went on, I actually wanted to do those things....all because I craved the love and affection that I could get nowhere else (not to mention, that when I was with him were the only times I wasn't worried about being hit by someone). As I grew into my teens, and continued to crossdress, my sex drive ramped up and I thought I was gay, feeling horny and wanting to behave as a girl at the same time (well, at that point I was horny all the time, sooooo, pretty natural assumption). The weirdness was that although I wanted to have sex as a girl, all the objects of affection, all my crushes, were girls as well. And I had a repulsion towards men. I never felt the urge to kiss a man; the thought had the 'uck' factor. Which is what set me on the search for the 'WTF is wrong with me' hunger for psychological knowledge to figure myself out.

I'm not suggesting that every case of wanting to do something that appears to be a sexual behavior to a male stems from being abused as a kid; but that it can come from desires other than sexual (as in my case, I was too young to have any sex drive, so the 'reward' feelings of the behavior weren't romantic or sexual gratification linked for me at all). Men are such horny creatures that it's easy to mistake a feeling as sexual just because you're horny when the other feeling occurs at the same time.

So, Suzzi, what you're going to have to figure out first, is whether you're turned on by men, or just the idea of having sex as a girl.

A quick n easy way to know which way you lean, is this: When you sit on the beach, and a hot girl is coming from one direction, and a hot guy is coming from the other, which way to you look?

[Gwyneth]

We were all born male. For whatever reason we are at different stages of getting away from that. Or we wouldn't be here among like-minded folk. I'm in the beginning stages of this. I think I know how far I'll go, but a few years down this road and I might want to keep walking. Hopefully without much judgement.

[docrobbysherry]

Guy, after you've been here awhile u may feel differently about how "like minded" we r.

The only thing I think we have in common is wearing women's things. After that? It seems like it's often every dresser for him/herself!:eek:

[Alice Torn]

You could put an ad on Craigslist personals, if you really want to meet men, but be extremely cautious, and meet in a public place, after much emailing, and lay down exactly what you would be doing together. Run, if your gut tells you danger. I have met only three over many years, and made it clear- no penetration!

[redtea]

I get these feelings sometimes. Like wanting to experience the womens side of sex and the highest form of submission. But I'm not gay in the sense of emotional or physical attraction to their head/figure. It's more of a lust feeling that women get than a "he is the one" feeling.

[Mayo]

I think there's a latent homosexual factor that comes out for some when they dress in female attire. And it may take years of dressing before this realization happens. Just an observation.
That's an interesting observation. If some men need to go as far as cross-dressing to get into (what they think is) a female mind-set before they can acknowledge their own interest in another guy, it says a lot about how homosexuality and masculinity are viewed. They can't relate to men as men, but have to do so as 'women', choosing an 'unmanly' activity in order to legitimize one that's even moreso to themselves. I'm not saying this is what's happening in the OPs case, or indeed any particular case, but the comments got me wondering if some people actually do think like this (probably on an unconscious level).

[Krisi]

I tend to agree with Leslie on the possibility of this being a "troll", based on this and her other posts. Put together, they make no sense, they don't read like a real person with a real issue.

I also agree with Jessica that this is not the sort of post or subject I would want my wife reading. It reinforces the common stereotype that crossdressers are gay and/or want to become women.

On the chance that this is a genuine post, the answer is, you will not find a man on this forum. It's not a dating site. You want a man? Simple - go to a local gay bar. You will find plenty of men there and most likely get what you are looking for.

[Lorileah]

Addendum to above: if you go to a gay bar, don't expect to be hit on if you are dressed as a woman (and especially if you consider yourself TS.) Gay guys like guys. If there is a T bar, you might find a chaser. In any case, be careful and safe. Playing with fire gets you burned. Quick hits at bars or on Craig's list is like playing roulette. You may very well hit the number you don't want...your safety and the risk of disease are paramount

[AllieSF]

Mayo, I am not sure about a latent gay side to some people. But I can understand that sometimes we need something to trigger something inside of ourselves that may result in us acting out on some random thought. For example, my case as a very late starter, almost 60 and starting from zero. I had cancer beat it, but the side affects greatly limited my male role in typical male - female intimacy. Long story short, one thing lead to another and now, as my friends who know me say, I am a CD +++, and maybe still adding pluses until I need to change the capitalized letters!

When someone accepts something different about themselves and dumps all the shame and bad comments about it, I believe that they tend to open their eyes much wider about a lot of things considered different, weird out, of the norm that that they never really thought about before. Also, for those first incursions into same sex intimacy, maybe a little sugar coating or camouflage, i.e. dressing up as a female, help in the discovery process.

[brenda girl]

I would like to meet someone who would treat me like tje lady I am, but I would be careful

[Gwyneth]

I agree about Craigslist. There have been some horrible crimes committed in my area to people just selling cell phones. But also meeting another guy is hard even in this day. Trust me if I dressed and went to a gay bar, it wouldn't be too hard to tell what I'm up to. Then there's the adult book stores. One very close to my house.