Double edged sword?

[Micki_Finn]

I had what I would consider my first "real" outing with my wife yesterday. We went and saw a movie together and it was a great experience but that's not what this thread is about. One of the reasons I was so confident and able to go out was that I had her to lean on. She purchased the tickets and refreshments so my voice wouldn't give me away. It was nice to have her around and I don't know that I would have had the confidence to go out without her.
However today it occurred to me that had we run into anyone we know, she would have been more of a liability if I was trying to be stealth. We're together a lot and everyone who knows one of us knows us both. If I were to be out on my own, I think I look different enough en femme that I don't think I'd be immediately associated with my male self. With her along, whoever I feel like people would be looking for "male me" and so would more easily see through "female me". Not that I really care. If someone I know finds out they find out. I just don't feel the need to share with EVERYone.
So all you girls who go out with your SO, what are your thoughts on this?

[ellbee]

Your cousin who's visiting from out-of-town & has laryngitis? :D



Really depends on how different you might look, honestly.


My 1st "real" night out all dolled-up in a social setting was for Halloween one year. I looked okay, but not totally passable, either.

We had met up at a friend's house. And the last to arrive was one of my co-workers -- who I worked with for 40 hours a week in the same department.


He later admitted he knew I was a guy... But when I was first introduced, he genuinely had *no* idea who I was! :laughing:


And many people haven't since then, actually.

Works for some, I guess. YMMV :)

[Alice 23]

While my wife and I don't go out often, we have developed an alias for my CD side. "Alice is coming over for a visit," we'll say. "She's a good friend from out of state." A state of mind, anyway. This allows us to also communicate comfortably in public about my dressing.

[Sophie Yang]

Not sure how your wife would like to be referred to as a liability. She may think you are the liability.

You may want to discuss with your wife how she wants to handle a chance meeting before the two of you venture out again next time. It is always better to have a plan than to wing it. Unless someone you know comes up from behind, the two of you can always split up and meet up later. Out of context, I don't think most people will recognize you. With your wife, they have some context, but still most likely will not recognize you.

In my case, my wife really doesn't want to cross paths with someone she knows while I am dressed. She really works hard on her relationships and doesn't need the extra headaches. Part of the reason is that when she told her best friend, she said something like, “Wow, you are a lot more open minded than I am. My husband would not understand.” Her friend has come over several times and seen me dressed. No issues. If my wife and I go out while I am dressed, it is usually a social function with other cross dressers. Most of the time, I am on my own.

A slightly different twist to your question is what are the odds of you running into someone you know if you were out and about by your self or together with you wife. On occasion it happens, but not often.

Dressing and crossing paths with someone you know is one of the biggest fears for someone going out the first couple of times. I've been out a lot and only can recall two different outings where I saw different people that I knew. Our paths never really crossed. Others I know who are out more than I am have mentioned that they have never crossed paths with people they know.

You never know what your wife will do. My wife and I were hosting some foreign exchange students one summer. I think it was the 4th of July and one of our exchange students, my wife and I were riding the free public transit downtown. The foreign exchange student looked up and had a shocked look on her face when she saw a 6' 3” ish cross dresser standing in the aisle. You should have seen the exchange students face when my wife gets up and gives the cross dresser and her wife a hugs and starts blabbing away. We still meet up with couple on occasion and still hear from our foreign exchange student.

[josrphine]

Well Micki, I go out every were with my wife, I have had times, like at church bumped into my neighbor that lived across a st from us. It was the beginning when all of us were just siting down. I knew she saw my wife and me so I went over to her to say hello. She started talking with me, and I said to myself she dose not know who I am. So after a few nice words between us I asked her if she knew who I was, She said no to my surprise. When I told her she just started at me with a very nice smile, O My god you are very good looking , I thanked her and we talked until the service started. We are now good friends. Jo

[Alice_2014_B]

I have thought about this as well.
Only been out once with the wife in girl-mode, all other times I went solo.
It definitely felt easier with her around, yet I just kept imagining us running into someone we know.

When I am at my friend's place (fellow CDer) it doesn't matter how I sound when talking.
It is also the same when out in public with another CDer, might as well just sound like yourself.

At one of the adult stores I asked my wife to take one of the high heels I wanted to try on to the counter to get the anti-theft device moved to another part of the shoe, it was blocking the buckle.

:)

[FireFoxAngel]

It's an accepted risk of doing things with my wife. Pick and choose where to go carefully and if outed, own it.

[Kate Simmons]

Some couples go to different towns when going out together to minimize the chance of seeing someone they know. Of course that is no guarantee but has better odds maybe.:battingeyelashes::)

[Alice Torn]

That is a concern for sure. You are very very fortunate to have a wife who accepts!! Some of us have given up on ever dating.

[Jenniferathome]

Micki, this is EXACTLY my situation. When I first started to go out, she ordered, did all the interfacing with the normals, etc. After a time, I just adopted the proverbial "screw it" philosophy and started talking and taking care of my business as needed. At that point going out with her was more fun for the both of us. Now, in my small town of Boise, when she and I go out as husband and wife we almost always see someone we know. If it was her and Jen, recognizing her would likely lead to recognizing me. Alone, I would not be recognized, ever. So, if it were to happen that she is recognized on a GNO, I just have to bail out and head for the door or bathroom or whatever.

[VioletDoll]

It seems like everyone in our small town knows my partner. If we went out together it would be guaranteed that we'd be caught.
Even at night, in the bars.

We're going to palm springs in Dec and I was kind of hoping to get some public time with Violet... Alas, she mentioned it last night in jest, "AND NO GETTING FREAKY IN PALM SPRINGS!"
Lol... What on earth are you talking about dear??

Ah, I'm good. She'll change her mind and they have stores in palm springs. 20 minutes with a razor and makeup, I'll be good to go.

[susie evans]

HI Girls
my wife and i have gone out for years together and have ran into people that we know we just split up and text when the coast is clear , violet palm springs is very TG friendly you would have no issues there

enjoy Susie

[Krisi]

My wife and I don't go out together for the very reason you posted. Folks would not recognize me by myself but they would recognize my wife and either figure it out or ask her to introduce her "friend". It's a shame because that's something I really want to do with her - go out on the town shopping, dining and sightseeing. I'm trying to figure out how to pull this off by going to another city where people aren't likely to know either of us.

It would seem pretty simple but the puppy complicates things. We would have to find a pet friendly hotel.

The other complication is just walking out the door to the car and back in afterwards. The same complication I face when going out by myself. I dress and undress in the car but that's a PITA.