Frustrating few months

[Carroll]

I have not been able to dress very much since the kids got out of school in June. My normal routine is to dress on Thursday, my only weekday off from work. My kids know I dress. My 17y old son is super-cool with it, even calling me Carroll when he sees me. My daughter, on the other hand, is another story. She is a high-functioning autistic 14y old. She sort of lacks the empathy and ability to understand why her father is wearing a dress and wig. She is not mean about it but makes remarks like "that's mom's dress" or will laugh at the wig to the point of one day she just took it off me. So, fast forward to the start of school a few Thursdays ago. Both kids get on the bus and I get dressed, with the intent of staying that way for a large portion of the day. Nope! The temp that day was pushing 90º and I did not want to sweat my butt off! I lasted just a few hours. This past Thursday was a no-go also. My wife's van is at the body repair shop due to a fender-bender with a building that she backed into. So I have to take her to her therapist because nobody drives my PT Cruiser (it's a 5 speed and she's not a fan manual transmissions). Now we find out that the body shop was not happy on how the van turned out, so they are going to redo it, so it looks like no dressing next Thursday either!

[Krisi]

We all have to deal with life. You had a chance to dress but it was too hot? You don't have air conditioning? Or lighter, cooler clothes? Your wife's therapy didn't take all day did it?

Your children know you dress, does your wife? Can't you dress on weekends or after work?

My point is, with your family knowing about your dressing, it seems you could make the time if you really wanted to.

[Stephanie47]

Krisi, I think Carroll has a comfort zone in which she enjoys the opportunity to dress. There is a highly functioning autistic girl in our extended family. Although she is a "kick" to be around, she can hone in on one aspect of life and focus on it way too long. I can understand the mood may be difficult to maintain for a long time.

[Lana Mae]

Carroll, I sympathize with you as far as dressing goes(or more like not dressing)!! Some times (seems often more than not lately)for one reason or not I do not dress! Like all the things I do in male mode and the timing just is not right( not enough or too short a period of time, etc.)!! Sometimes it just seems like one thing after another needs my male attention!! So yeah, I know where you are coming from!! Best wishes going forward!! And for more Carroll time!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Dana44]

I had to go through that for a while. Caorll, it will come back and you will have more time. But yeah it is hard I know from experience.

[Carroll]

We all have to deal with life. You had a chance to dress but it was too hot? You don't have air conditioning? Or lighter, cooler clothes? Your wife's therapy didn't take all day did it?

Your children know you dress, does your wife? Can't you dress on weekends or after work?

My point is, with your family knowing about your dressing, it seems you could make the time if you really wanted to.

Yes it was too hot, I forgot to add that the humidity was almost at 70% that day and I live in a trailer with no A/C, so basically an oven no matter what I wear :). Most times after my wife's therapy, she like to do shopping since it is downtown which can take a few hours :). My wife knows and approves of my dressing. I feel wrong about dressing in front of my daughter as it seems to make her uncomfortable and she is home on weekends and after school.

[Maria 60]

Isn't it amazing that everything ends up on that day. When I need some get away from it all time, its usually Thursday night for a drive. The last few Thursday's I didn't want to go, but this week was more stressful and was looking forward to the drive. Out of all days for my daughters Air conditioning to break and they all came to sleep at our house. But it just seems like I'm always fighting to keep that Thursday night free. Everything happens on Thursday night. I know how you feel.

[ChristinaK]

Carroll, count your blessings honey, at least your wife and son accept you. How nice that would be.

This last summer was tough for me too. Wanted to dress so bad but my wife and daughter were home.

It took me a little while to even get back into the mood though, oddly enough, when I was alone again. Well, now I can't wait to dress when I can and am loving it.

I admire you having the courage to come out to your family. How cathartic that must be, especially when they accept it.

Good luck with next Thursday!

[IamWren]

I feel your pain Carroll. Saturday I had a very rare opportunity where I could have dressed full tilt. My wife was going to be gone with a friend for about six hours. It wasn't in the cards though. My momma called and needed my help with something at her house. Then we went to lunch, then shopping for some gardening stuff and finally I was back home... only to get the call from my wife so I could go pick her up from her friend's place.

[Krisi]

Yes it was too hot, I forgot to add that the humidity was almost at 70% that day and I live in a trailer with no A/C, so basically an oven no matter what I wear :). Most times after my wife's therapy, she like to do shopping since it is downtown which can take a few hours :). My wife knows and approves of my dressing. I feel wrong about dressing in front of my daughter as it seems to make her uncomfortable and she is home on weekends and after school.

OK. For the price of just a few outfits, you could buy an air conditioner and not only be comfortable dressing,, but be comfortable 24/7. You could also ask your wife to take your daughter out somewhere for a few hours once in a while or even enroll her in some organized activity away from home.

Again, you can arrange it if you really want to. Life is what we make it. Don't let it pass you by while you make excuses.

[DIANEF]

I can sympaphise Carroll, I get half a day two days a week usually (in the closet BTW) and keeping those times free is a nightmare sometimes. My SO books a day off work, guess which one, my son wants to visit, a delivery is due... So frustrating sometimes, but you just have to grin and bear it.