Shopping fail

[MartineCD]

This weekend I unexpectedly found myself with an entire day in town with just my DD for company. My SO had forgotten she had an all day event to attend so we went our separate ways. I quickly formulated a plan to finally to get my own bra, skirt and some knickers.

So off I went pushing my buggy to the first shop. Everything started well, I strolled in and started to browse. I then noticed the other shoppers and SAs giving me furtive glances so I take a massive case of nerves, turned on my heels and walked out.

I did plenty of window shopping and attempted to aquire my purchases in two other shops but again bottled it. I meekly found a place to sit while DD was napping and ordered my stuff from an online retailer. On the plus side I bought an inexpensive but fabulous wig.

Maybe next time.

M x

[Tracy Irving]

Sorry to hear that but I am glad you found what you wanted online.

[Princess Chantal]

Okay what does your abbreviation of DD stand for? Designated Driver?

[MartineCD]

Hi Princess Chantal

The abbreviation stands for Dear or Darling Daughter.

Apologies, I thought it was a common abbreviation on most message boards.

M x

[redtea]

This happened to me once as well with the intention of getting womens jeans and a pair of panties. I gave it my all just to walk into the store then failed as I gravitated to the mens section. I did the scan of the store and noticed a few people in the area I needed to go and panicked. I strolled back and forth in the mens hoping to find the courage to crossover.

What happened was I stepped out of the store to get a drink ( I was at the mall) then I did a whole loop of the mall telling myself "i will go into the store to try again once I get there" Once I got to the area of the store, I found myself trying to find excuses "maybe I will just sit down in this chair and think about it for 5 minutes", I then just said I'm gonna walk straight into the American Eagle and die a glorious death (figuratively speaking)

I decided that my round 2 would be direct with little "scan the store". Walk straight to the womens jeans, for that's over half the battle.
I was ultimately bailed out once a SA came to my rescue and did the embarrassing chore of finding my model number/size. I wore sunglasses the whole time, it was shady but at least it calmed my nerves a bit knowing the fear in my eyes was shielded. I even thought about checking out with the sunglasses off but didn't.

[MartineCD]

Hi Redtea

The shops I went to were exclusively womens. I think the stroller acted as an artifical mental barrier as I was able to walk in and start browsing with no worries. I honestly don't think I would have minded if a SA had come to me and asked if I needed any help. It may just have been a delayed case but the nerves hit bad after I noticed the stolen glances.

M x

[Lana Mae]

Honestly, I have never been confronted by anyone when purchasing from the women's section of department stores. I was married and bought clothes and other things for my wife and I just walked in and purchased things for me!! If there were furtive glances I did not see them!! Note though that most of my purchases are on the net but if I need pantyhose , panties , or a bra I just go and get them!! Not to trying things on in the store yet!! Just my 2 cents!! Hugs Lana Mae

[MartineCD]

Hi Lana Mae

I've bought tights and stockings before but this was my first time venturing into a women clothing shop with the intention of buying something for myself. The rational side of my brain which was telling me that the other shoppers and SAs are only looking because I was the only man in the shop no one is going to say anything. Unfortunately the irrational side of my brain took over and that as they say is that. It never even crossed my mind to try anything on until I was home.

It's usually my SO that does the clothes shopping (Yes even mine). :(

Thanks for the reply

M x

[ellbee]

"I wore sunglasses the whole time, it was shady but at least it calmed my nerves a bit knowing the fear in my eyes was shielded."


Unless someone is shopping in some sort of outdoors setting, please don't wear sunglasses indoors.

That's just shady as all heck -- pun not intended. :D


You're going to draw a lot more attention to you, and people working & shopping there will certainly get sketched out.



Martine,

Things don't always work out as we planned sometimes. Comes with the territory.


And could some of it be in your head? Who knows.


Just be comfortable with yourself. You're just shopping for something, like you would in any other store.

And don't go all rushing in there like a bull in a china shop, looking all nervous & sweaty.


Present your male self well. Clean, combed hair, shaved face, decent clothes, etc.

Say "hi" to any SA. Smile politely. If any ask if you need help, don't lie: Just tell them you're buying for yourself. No biggie, and they will certainly assist you in getting some nice things. :thumbsup:


Every bit helps in putting others at ease, so you can just go about your business as normal. :)

[Barbara Black]

I don't know if it'll help anyone else, but I think about the clothes that I like, fabrics and colors etc., and explore with that in mind. Find something to catch your attention and let it draw you in... ha ha Then go to the next interesting bit of clothing.

[MartineCD]

Hi Laura

Thanks for the great advice. I walked into the store confidently with the stroller and began browsing. All was good until I noticed the glances and that horrible little voice from the irrational part of my mind started its antics. I know it was all in my head and if a SA had come over to me I think I would have been okay. Once my nerve started to go I wasn't confident enought to approach a SA myself.

At the end of the day I've put it down as a learning experience. I've got to get better control of the negative imp in my head.

M x

- - - Updated - - -

Hi Barbara

I had a fairly certain idea what I was looking for. I just didn't get it tha way I thought that morning.

Thanks for the advice.

M x

[Alice_2014_B]

Thanks for sharing, Martine.
Always good to take it at your own pace.
:)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Martine:hugs:, Way back in the day when I used to worry about other shoppers and SA's I would avoid eye contact,

Now I really don't worry about it I will even speak to them when necessary...:daydreaming:...

[Lori Kurtz]

I don't think there's anything much more feminine than a bra, and I've bought a lot of them. Never got a snide remark or a strange look from an SA. I guess they think it must be for my wife or GF. Or maybe they think I'm a CDer, and they just don't care. Who knows? Does it matter?

[MartineCD]

Thank you Alice, Blue and Lori for your messages. I have looked back at the day and am aware that there were no looks of disgust or accusation on anyones faces. The reason I walked was because of letting my own inner fears get the better of me.

Lesson learned and knowledge assimilated for the next trip.

M x

[dolovewell]

I worked at a Victoria's Secret when I was in college. Men came in to shop all the time. It's honestly not a big deal at all. It's very common. It's not like when a man came in, we would all say "He has to be shopping for himself! What a creep!".

I am sure its the same way in department stores. Don't make a big deal out of it. I guarantee you the SAs see men shopping in the women's section all the time. They won't judge. Your money is just as good as everyone else's. My advice is just to act natural. If you are making a big deal out of it mentally, it will show. This will draw attention to yourself.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Martine,

It does get easier. For the most part now I actually enjoy the experience. In fact going out at lunch today for shoes and a few accessories and I'm really looking forward to it. Most SA's don't care and hey, maybe something out of the ordinary helps them pass their time.

[CONSUELO]

Martine,

I think they were all trying to get a better look at your daughter and were not interested in you at all.

[docrobbysherry]

Martine, that's why I only shop in vanilla stores in drab. I may raise a few eyebrows from the SA's and women clients. But, in the end, they have no idea I'm shopping for me.

And, I never worry they'll run off laffing or screaming as they mite if I were dressed!:eek:

[Tracii G]

Yep it seemed to be your problem not theirs.
God forbid someone actually sees you in a ladies store.
If you buy something my gosh you must be gay.
Think about it who really cares where you shop and what you buy?
If you were to go out in public with an item of ladies clothes on what would happen ? Most likely nothing.
Inner fears are strong its time to get over them.

[MartineCD]

Hi Dolovewell

While I was focused on the task at hand I was fine but when I looked around my inner fears got the better of me. If I had taken a few deep breaths and a moment to calm myself I might have been okay. That panic attack, fight or flight response or whatever it was is very hard to overcome.

Thank you for your message.

M x

Hi Elizabeth

Your message has done a lot for my confidence. Hope your shopping trip was very fruitful.

M x

Hi Consuelo

You are probably right. She is such a cutie. (I know I'm totally biased).

M x

Hi Sherry

I was so totally drab. When not in work attire my drab uniform consists of trainers, blue jeans and novelty t-shirts. The farthest I've ever been outside is 6 feet from my back door at night. I must say when you dress you look great. You have a killer figure.

M x

Hi Tracii

You are so right. Why is it that our own mind is our worst enemy if we allow it to escape our control?

M x

Ladies I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind messages of support and encouragement they really mean a lot. xx

[Maria 60]

Sometimes the smallest thing would change your outting, a salesperson with a good attitude would really help. They usally gossup or complain about other customers. A few years back I wanted a pair of crotchless pantyhose, we went to a big department store. As she was ringing in the order she asked my wife if I dragged her to the store to buy the pantyhose for me. We both had a little shocked looks on our faces, and the sales lady that a lot of crossdressers come into the store and she sees they are very uncomfortable so tries to help them out to make it easier for them. I told her that was nice of her, if there were more salespersons like that who enjoy there job, it would probably be a positive outting. I give you a lot of credit just for your courage to go into the store, good for you. Don't give up maybe next time will be better.

[dolovewell]

Very true Maria, you'd be surprised. There are times I have shopped for myself in guy mode and just flat out told the SA I was shopping for myself when she asked if I needed help. You'd be surprised at some of the reactions I get. At worst they just say "OK, well if you need anything let me know" and go on their way. But there are times where the SA will trip over herself trying to do all she can to help me and is very very nice about it. SAs like confidence and will be more willing to help if you are comfortable and confident and owning the fact you are shopping for yourself.

[Glenda58]

AS you get older things like this won't matter. Just go in and buy what you want. They want your money they don't care if you're going to wear it or someone else.