Sad!

[Lana Mae]

I like that this forum can be a place for friends to gather and talk and compare notes and make more friends!! I enjoy it very much and as someone said when you are here you are home!! Recently I PM'd a friend and it has been 5 days and no response. Now, I know they could be on a business trip or something else like that!! But it got me thinking! (oh no, dangerous!!LOL) If something really bad happened to any of us there would be no way for the others to know about it or find out about it!! I know there are some who go out with their friends from here and all but the majority do not and it saddens me!! I do not see any way to change it!! It just makes me sad is all!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

Some people don't come in here everyday Lana so I wouldn't worry too much.
Some never answer and some just forget to answer.
I never let it bother me or take it personally if they don't answer.

[susancheerleader]

I try to respond to personal messages here. But as mentioned not everyone visits daily. Sometimes it will be awhile for me to respond. Either I haven't been around recently or, honestly I didn't notice the message icon.

[Stephanie47]

Lana, you're right! I have written down the passwords for my hotmail and gmail accounts, as well as all our financial accounts, so, if I do meet my demise my wife will be able to alert my friends and access financial data. This site? No. I don't know if my wife knows I am on this site. I do wonder about some girls who have posted many times, and, then nothing. There is one lady whose postings I followed who was dealing with a life threatening illness. She no longer posts. I'm sure she has had other concerns than keeping up with this site. I guess, if you're out to a wife or trusted relative or friend you can give them the envelope "to be opened upon my demise" with user name and password to alert this site or any other site of one's passing.

[DIANEF]

I had a contact from a GG in New Zealand recently. Took me a couple of days to find the time to reply, when I tried the website had changed and I lost all her contact details. Still feel bad about it.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess it's an incentive to become closer friends. I'm always open in any case Hon. :)

[Jodi]

Yes. This is a hazard. This happens with local support groups all the time. A girl is a regular. then she drops out of sight. No answer to correspondence. Of course, her male identity usually isn't known. No way to follow up. They just disappear.

Yes. It is sad.

jodi

[Lana Mae]

OK Kate, sent you a request! This person I was speaking about would answer almost right away not wait more than one day!! Yes, I am a little worried!! But maybe it is just me!! Thanks everyone for your replies!! Hugs Lana Mae

[LelaK]

I don't want anyone to be sad. Can I impersonate your friend to make you feel better? If so, how do I need to act etc? By the way, how do you know your friend isn't already here somewhere, disguised as someone else?

[IamWren]

I imagine it happens quite frequently with online friends. It's an unfortunate hazard of sorts that very well could and does happen.

I and a couple of the gals here have a mutual friend who dropped off the forum unexpectedly and it was highly out of character. We were all worried and as the months went by we feared the worst.
Luckily she got in touch with one of us and we were relieved to know she was okay.

Maybe in time, you'll hear from your friend.
Crossing my fingers for you.

~ Sayyidah

[MartineCD]

Hi Lana Mae

Your thread has provoked some deep contemplation. We have all started a journey with CDing for whatever reason being the common theme and this site is an oasis where we have found eachother to share our stories and words of encouragement, support and advice.

I know I havn't been here long and have yet to exchange personal messages with anyone but I have become used to seeing certain names on the threads. I expect the longer I remain here to develop deeper friendship even if I have never met any of you.

A bond does form with someone even if this is the only avenue for communication and any break in that link will be as keanly felt as any RL friendship. Being unable to reach out and talk to someone is a terrible feeling.

I truely understand how you feel Lana Mae.

Sending you big hugs.

Martine xx

[AlyssaJ]

Sadly that is the nature of internet forums in general. I've dealt with it on many occasions. In one case, it was a woman I had not only chatted with on a forum but had actually had IM conversations with. She was a sweet, wonderful woman and had a terminal illness. Then one day radio silence. I assumed the worst, but never did find out for sure. Unfortunately it's part of the experience unless you can build enough trust to meet and exchange other contact info (not advisable for most people you meet online).

[Alice Torn]

LM, As a single person, with no close healthy family, and no friends in my region, I fear getting injured , because there would be no one to care for my cats, and my stuff, especially my lady things,, and my rent and bills. No one. I pray everyday for protection on the roads. Three weeks ago, a speeding car missed me on my bicycle by six feet. Last week, a behind me, did not notice traffic had stopped, and he slammed on the brakes, and went off to my right, just missing me. Close calls on the roads are much more common, as more and more people driving.

[Robin414]

My best friend on the forum had that happen, it can be pretty devastating for sure but it turned out OK...after several months. Things happen and although not life threatening hopefully, those things can change us in profound ways!

I'm straight crazy though so take my advice with a grain of salt...or several on the rim of a shot glass of tequila...yum 😜

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lana Mae:hugs:, As I go through the Birthday Calendar everyday I notice that so many
members just seam to have fallen off the end of the earth never to be heard from again
and all I can do is just wonder what happened to them...:daydreaming:...

[Amelie]

I don't own a computer so it could take me quite awhile to respond to people.

I also told this to my friends on facebook that I don't own a computer and I told them I would make a post the day before I hang myself, cause it would be rude if I just disappeared.

[Lori Kurtz]

I have a friend on this site who lives on another continent, so there's no chance of my meeting up with her in person. We exchanged some private messages and emails and had some fun on another site. She was fun to share histories and feelings with. And then suddenly, silence. I know that she did her dressing up when she worked alone in an overnight job, and that her wife did not know about her CDing. So what happened? Wife found out? Bad career news? A surge of negative feelings about the CDing, followed by a purge? I have no idea what happened, and I'm afraid I might never know. Like you, Lana Mae, I find this very sad.

And after posting the above, I was in bed in the middle of the night thinking about my disappeared friend, and some new possible reasons for her disappearance came to my mind. What if she is seriously ill? Or what if she died? Again, there is no way for any of us to know such things ... the person simply is gone, without any way of saying goodbye.

[Helen_Highwater]

This person I was speaking about would answer almost right away not wait more than one day!!

It could simply be that like me last week, I was away from home for 10 days and with no access to this site. Alternatively her PC/tablet could have died or been stolen. I could also be she's fallen out of love with CD'ing which does happen to some from time to time. If that's the case, they'll be back, sooner or later.

[JeanetteX]

It happened to me too Lana. My best friend (or so I thought she was) disappeared for months without a word...then came back but only to disappear again without a word. Like you said it saddens me too but I guess we have to get used to it. From reading your story I guess it happens more often than we would wish. Worst part however remains the fact that you don't know what happened and that leaves a lot of uncertainty. I understand if people move on but from friends I would appreciate at least a little bit of explaining. Anyway, good luck with it Lana

[Krisi]

I agree it's sad but there's not much that can be done about it. I remember a lady that I had lot of respect for. She was having problems with her wife's acceptance and her posts got further and further apart. I haven't seen a post from her in a year or more. I suspect the worst.

Anyway friends (and people) come and go in our lives. It's not like a hundred years ago where everyone was born, lived and died in the same hundred square miles.

[CarlaWestin]

Lana Mae, I've had this happen quite often. My general format is to make friends here and then move to private email correspondence. And I do that because it's easier to exchange images and it just feels more private. And, it's more manageable on a phone.

[stephNE]

There have been a couple girls on here that I sort of followed for a while, until they disappeared. I wish I knew what happened. I hope they moved on and are healthy and happy.

[docrobbysherry]

I've been here for 8 years. I've seen some wonderful, creative, and pretty T's vanish. Some were good online friends and mentors to me. They either moved on or were banned from the site. A couple PMed me to tell me how I could contact them. But, most disappeared without a word!:sad:

On the other hand? There is always a new batch of wide eyed dressers joining this site with new ideas, vigor, and expanded questions, perceptions, and views.:hugs:

Stick around awhile, you'll see what I mean!:heehee:

[Lana Mae]

I want to thank everyone for your replies!! Tracii it was worry not personal. Susan this person answered daily or more. Dianef sorry to hear that. Lela LOL. Martine thanks for the hugs! Alice thanks and I am praying for you! Robin if I had not stopped drinking alcohol, I would follow your advice!!LOL Blue it is sad when we do not know. Amelie OK?! Lori you sound like you need a hug so HUG! Carla I do not use my phone that much small keyboard and big fingers!! And Sherry I am sure you are right!! Again thanks to everyone and a great big HUG!! Lana Mae

[Lori Kurtz]

Thanks for the hug, sweetheart. Here's a nice big hug right back at ya!

[Lana Mae]

OK, went to their profile page. Noted there was recent activity. Lela, you are right, they are out there lurking for whatever reason. I left a message on the site that I miss them and said goodbye! I guess that is about all I can do. Hugs Lana Mae