Overwhelmed by the freedom

[Katie789]

Like most I've had urges to dress since a kid but quickly grew out of my mums clothes! Since then I've lives with pals and for a few years in a relationship where dressing would have been off the cards.

Now I'm single and living alone with complete freedom for the first time ever! It feels great but I'm 30 in December and have never had any chance to dress before so a bit overwhelmed by the opportunities - taking a few days fully dressed, learning to walk in heels, tucking, going to shops, going out, shaving, make up?!?!

I've got a couple of items online but any hints for dealing with this happy dilemma would be great!

[Dana44]

Welcome to the forum Katie, The is a lot of threads here that talk about buying things and what to do first. I imagine that sudden freedom is pretty daunting. Take your time and read some of these threads and jot some notes down.

[DIANEF]

Lucky you! Plenty of advice on here and some good Youtube videos on make-up techniques, using forms, deportment ect.

[DaniT]

My best advise, create a budget and stick to it. I wish I had lol. Being a girl is expensive.

And have fun :)

Dani

[Stephanie47]

Don't let your new freedom to explore your feelings consume you. Try to maintain some balance in your life. Use the Internet to hone your skills.

[LelaK]

I'd look for makeup/cosmetics with organic ingredients.

[Lana Mae]

Hi, Katie!! Like others said make a budget and stick to it!! Money can be spent very quickly on this "past time"!! Go for mix and match type things like tops and skirts or pants to have variety in your wardrobe as well as a few dresses to round it out!! Others will tell you to beware panties are addictive, but I tell you watch out for shoes and purses!! LOL Keep reading the threads here because they will teach you so much and almost everyone is willing to help!! Hugs Lana Mae

[nikkiwindsor]

As a gender fluid person, expressing my femininity is very expensive but my happiness and desire to live as authentically as I can at this time is worth each and every cent!

[ellbee]

Lots of good advice here already.

But I will echo the "take your time" bit -- even though you might feel like diving in head-first.


I'm currently in the process of rebuilding my wardrobe from scratch after a few years' absence. It's not cheap.

What I've been doing is buying a few various pieces here & there. As I continue to dress, I'm getting more of a sense of what I really need & where I want to go next, so to speak, this go-around. In fact, I'm doing some online shopping as we speak! :o


Sizing is pretty easy for me, since I've been doing this on & off my whole life -- but if this is your 1st time as an adult, you might have a trickier time. My suggestion is to buy some things that have some stretch to the fabric, just in case. ;)


Yes, it's a lot to take it all in. Give it time. It's always a work in-progress.


Finally, whatever you do, however strong the urge may be: Do *NOT* purge (donate/throw away) your stuff!!!

If you ever find yourself feeling that way, simply wash it all, pack it up nicely & tuck it away in the back of your closet or something. And just leave it there for however long.


Oh, did I mention to make sure you have lots of fun? :D


And welcome aboard! Great place to hang out. :thumbsup:

[Micki_Finn]

Take it easy! You don't have to go from 0 to 60. Take some time and enjoy it! Also if you're anything like me, you'll be surprised how much time you DON'T have to dress. For me fully dressing takes a couple of hours to achieve between shaving, dressing, make-up, hair, etc. so since I don't dress at work, by the time I get home it's just too late to go through the whole routine, so full on dressing is a weekend thing for me.
But anyway back to you. Like I said take it slow and don't let it take over your life before you're ready.

[Tracy Irving]

To stay within budget and figure out what you like to wear, try looking around in a few thrift stores. Nobody pays any attention to you. Bonus - most dressing rooms are now attendant free.

[AlyssaJ]

I'll echo the take your time and go slow theme. I'll also say, that if you do end up in a relationship, that you share it with your partner early. I think the many of us who've had to "come out" to our partners can agree it'd have been so much easier if we had addressed it early on in the relationship.

[NatalieLM]

I agree with the "take it slow" approach that others have put forward in this thread.

At home I like set my camera up so that I see what I look like while walking around the room, sitting, talking etc. I find it quite revealing re mannerisms etc and have spent quite a lot of time working on relaxing my walk and movements.

Also last year I went from limited experience to getting heels/dress/wig/makeup and thrust myself out into public on the first day that I had everything thinking that if I looked remotely female then everything would just snap into place. The outcome was that I didn't feel very comfortable at all and the too much too soon reality dawned on me. These days I like to think I have it worked out a little better but we will see!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie:hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home !

Whatever question that you have there is a 99.875% chance that one or more of us will have an answer for you.

Make a list of the things that you think that you are going to need, Be $ careful $ it get$ real ea$y real Quick$...:daydreaming:...

[NicoleScott]

I was in that situation once. Single again, new job in a new town, living alone. Complete freedom to dress as much as I wanted. Enough extra money to buy what I needed. I did buy what I needed, but I didn't go crazy buying excessively.
I never got of my work clothes and just threw on a dress. My dressup sessions were all or nothing, head-to-toe full transformation - wig, makeup, the works. I went out a little at night but mostly stayed in. As it turned out, 3-4 times a week was all I needed.
You asked for advice so here goes: buy what you need to put together an outfit, head-to-toe, heels, wig, pantyhose/stockings, shapewear, etc. Doesn't need to be expensive, but it will get you started. Use self-checkouts if it makes you more comfortable. Buy moderately priced makeup (drug store, Walmart) and practice. You'll get better at it and you'll find the look you like. Just have fun. And be safe.
Finally, I am happy that I can look back at that time and NOT regret wasting that opportunity to fully explore this mysterious internal drive to dress up. That time really solidified my knowledge that I am a part-time, occasional, for my own personal pleasure, male-identified (even while dressed) crossdresser.

[Katie789]

Thanks girls ;)

Fab advice so going to take it slow but enjoy. I purchased a dress and skirt online and have just ordered a pair of pumps today.

Going to wait till next payday then get a top and jeans (hopefully from a thrift store if I am brave enough!) and get some makeup and try some YouTube videos.

In the meantime will spend a few evenings in skirt and heels getting used to it and hopefully posting lots on here!

[dolovewell]

I'm in your boat. I am a few years younger than you, but I've lived on my own since graduating college. The freedom is nice but my best advice is to pace yourself. I wanted to do it every day at first, but it just became a chore, and I tore up my face with all the shaving. My sweet spot was 2 times a week, sometimes 3. This way it still was fun, fresh, and special.