Is wearing high heels crossdressing?

[Pumped]

Is wearing high heels, or for that matter, shoes styled and sold generally to woman, crossdressing?

I was having a conversation with someone that was convinced it is not. The person is obviously male, wears women's shoes and also admits to wearing panties and pantyhose, but he is convinced he is not crossdressing. I told him he is, in the true definition of the term. I thought he was going to punch me for a second!

Another hang up is he stated he was not a crossdresser because he is not gay! After I had a good laugh I told him that crossdressing has nothing with being gay, but he would not accept that. He figures crossdressing and gay go hand in hand. I tried to explain to him that most crossdressers are hetrosexual, but he was not buying it!

[Lori Kurtz]

Amazing that any guy wearing high heels would deny being a crossdresser. But yes, he's a member of our sorority.

[I Am Paula]

Opinions by paragraph-
Yes.
Denial.
A special kind of stupid.

[Lana Mae]

Obviously confused. Obviously part of the family but what branch?? I would get political but I know we can not. I wear panties and high heels and yes I, I ,I am a crossdresser and I think it is wonderful that I found out what I am!!! Hugs Lana Mae

[sometimes_miss]

Let's see; wearing attire that is designed to be worn by females. So, yes. Wearing shoes designed for females is crossdressing. Telling yourself it isn't, is living in a fantasy world.

[Ellie Summer]

Hm. Not if he's a persian soldier from the 16th century. They were originally invented for horseback riders so their feet wouldn't slip out of the stirrups. It wasn't until decades later that women began using them during a time when it became trendy for women to cut their hair shorter, and take on other masculine traits including wearing high heels. Funny world we live in..

[ellbee]

Opinions by paragraph-
Yes.
Denial.
A special kind of stupid.

Perhaps "denial" could fit that last paragraph, too. :D


Anyway, of course it's CD'ing.

Some try to deflect it by calling it something else, as it makes it easier for them accept that part of themselves. Whatever gets you through the night? :strugglin

[Teresa]

Pumped,
Your friend has a great deal to come to terms with, so he wears heels and underdresses so that's the part that must be gay but never mind you can't see it !!

I'm not sure where he's getting his information from but have you directed him to this forum ? I wonder what he's going to make of all the other labels we use.

As others have said he's in denial in a big way .

[NicoleScott]

She finds some high heels, and asks "are these yours?"
"Yes"
"You're a crossdresser?"
"Oh, no. Those are shoes, not clothes"
"Whew, had me worried for a minute"

The same question (is it CDing?) can be asked about wigs, makeup, nail polish, etc...
To me, the answer in the motive. Not everyone who wears nail polish is a CDer, but for some, it's part of their CDing expression. Not so sure that argument holds for makeup or high heels, though.

[DIANEF]

Think he needs a reality check.

[Alice_2014_B]

Sounds like a grade A doofus.
Thanks for sharing.
:)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pumped:hugs:, Some peoples just don't need labels...:daydreaming:...

[RADER]

I once ran across this rather tall man, and he was dry-wall taping.
Now this man was 7'2" tall, could not play Basket Ball because of an
injury. So he taped drywall, and would wear woman's 5" Heals so he
could reach the ceiling better.
He would not wear the normal stilts because it would put him to close
to the ceiling; so he wore Woman's High Heals.
Honest.
Rader

[Alice Torn]

Tell him most CDers are married, too. I am one of the very few never married non gays on here, was very surprised to see the vast majority had wives or SO's! Radar, that is some story! Very unusual!

[Stephanie47]

Maybe he's not a cross(dresser) but a cross(shoer). Maybe he would admit to being a fetish dresser. Maybe he spends all his spare time practicing for the annual "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes" campaign.

[audreyinalbany]

well no, obviously if he conflates those two things...crossdressing and homosexuality...he cannot, psychologically identify himself as a crossdress as that would automatically identify him as gay,so thorough some kind of warped internal logic, he has convinced himself that he is not a crossdresser.

[AnnieMac]

No, he is a "crosswalker", and he will be pleased to know that there are many of those areas where
He can feel free to be himself and use them in many major city streets.

[Jaylyn]

I've got some cowboy boots that have a curved in type heel that is around two to two n half inches ( never measured them but at least two) and I've seen higher heels on these bronc busting boots. I used to break horses to sell and wore them a lot. I used to think they were almost like wearing high heels. They would make a sound on wooden floors and tile the same. Maybe I am already out and didn't realize it.... Lol these boots are worn by GG cowgirls and boys.

[Tracii G]

Sums it up for me.

[Pumped]

Love the comments! Keeps them coming!

I figure everyone would get a kick out of this! It is funny, but in some way sad too. It shows that many people think crossdressing means gay. More proof of the hurdles we all have to scramble over.

[PeggyNell]

We for me, I did not get the opportunity to wear heels till I was 40! They took my CD to a whole new level! I am so excited.
Yes I am a Cross Dresser, but I like to argue the point of something like this. If someone asks "Are you wearing women's shoes?" I would say "No, I am wearing my shoes." It's not a woman's dress, it is a dress. But l Iike to Wear them because it makes me feel sexy...and with especially with high heels.

[IamWren]

To me, the answer in the motive. Not everyone who wears nail polish is a CDer, but for some, it's part of their CDing expression. Not so sure that argument holds for makeup or high heels, though.

A few weeks ago I stumbled over an old thread that had a comment that stated the same thing in trying to define crossdressing. It suggested that motive was what made wearing clothing of the opposite sex crossdressing. For instance, when I was in the military I wore pantyhose but that was when the battalion was going on a long march carrying 60 pounds of gear on your back. The hose were the PFCs inexpensive compression wear. I also wear women's boots (purchased about a year before I ever thought of wearing female clothing for the purpose of emulating a woman) because I have very small feet and I couldn't find any combat style boots in my size (go figure).

I have to agree with your friend Pumped. Indon't think he's crossdressing.

[BettyMorgan]

If we set aside the denial and the fear that he could be perceived as gay, perhaps there is some merit in discussing something that hasn't been mentioned before. And that thing is "intention".

If I wear panties because I find them to be comfortable, does that make me a crossdresser by definition? Personally, I wear panties, and other women's clothing as a way to express my feminine side (and not all my panties or bras etc are comfortable). Even if I'm the only one who sees my panties, I'm still wearing them because I feel like a girl - gender fluid. I do it with intention. If someone wears tights for warmth instead of long underwear and socks in the winter does that mean they are a crossdresser? I wear tights in the winter because they are feminine, not so much that they are warmer than long underwear. I wear roper boots with heels and I find them to be very comfortable. But I wear ladies shoes to express myself as a female - and rarely for comfort.

Maybe you need to ask your friend what his intentions are when he wears these items?

[ellbee]

"Cross-dressing is the act of wearing items of clothing and other accoutrements commonly associated with the opposite sex within a particular society. Cross-dressing has been used for purposes of disguise, comfort, and self-actualization in modern times and throughout history.

Almost every human society throughout history has had expected norms for each gender relating to style, color, or type of clothing they are expected to wear, and likewise most societies have had a set of guidelines, views or even laws defining what type of clothing is appropriate for each gender.

The term cross-dressing denotes an action or a behavior without attributing or implying any specific causes for that behavior. It is often assumed that the connotation is directly correlated with behaviors of transgender identity or sexual, fetishist, and homosexual behavior, but the term itself does not imply any motives and is not synonymous to one's gender identity."


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-dressing


:strugglin

[Jacqueline85]

Wow. So much negativity toward a person who is probably part of our minority group. I'll admit here that I am a CD, but I'm in the closet so out there I'm not going to admit it. If someone calls me out on wearing women's jeans or women's shoes, that's already a judgemental step so I'm gonna put my guard up and deny everything. I know I'm a CD, but whoever is trying to tell the world doesn't need to know that I know. Does that make me a doofus too?

[Ashley090]

Technicaly yes, it makes him a crossdresser. If we consider cd definition as laurababe said and since high heels are consider as female "clothing" (yeah yeah those are shoes) it fit that definition. Plus wearing female underwear, no question in that that he is cd ;) But dont try to convice him of what is right or wrong. Let it go :)

[Lacy PJs]

I can only think of a couple of exceptions to your original question about wearing high heels... One could wear some Western boots with pretty high heels. Not spikes but high ones nonetheless. I have a pair that might qualify even though they are strictly men's boots.

The second situation might be where for some weird reason, he may not be able to find men's shoes that fit properly. Some people have extremely narrow feet and that type of shoe is hard to find in men's sizes.

BUT... once you added the wearing panties & pantyhose, I'd say that all exceptions are off at that point. He is crossdressing, at least to some extent.

That does raise an interesting question though; how much do you need to crossdress before you are a crossdresser? Let's say that you wear something that is designed primarily for women but looks pretty asexual. For the longest time, I had a bowling shirt that I wore quite a bit. Wore it to work, considered it to be a bit "dressy" (not in the sense of being a dress but rather something a little nicer to wear) and was complimented by many different people through the years. It was only when I read the tag on the inside of the shirt while consulting instructions to remove a stain that I realized it was a woman's shirt. Was I crossdressing at that point?

Lacy PJs

[Krisi]

I was going to suggest that you invite this person to join (or just browse) this forum to learn more about crossdressing but since several members have already insulted him, that may not be a good idea.

I would say wearing women's high heeled shoes and women's panties would be defined as crossdressing. Perhaps he is not a "crossdresser" but he is crossdressing when he does that.

For anyone confused by that statement, consider this: I can play golf a couple times a year but that doesn't make me a "golfer".

[bridget thronton]

Does it matter -shoes are shoes lol

[Roxy]

This is a great thread.
I was in the same boat as your friend Pumped. I used to dress up in lingerie, hose and heels because I loved the look and feel of being wrapped in femininity. Then sexually gratify myself. It may have been crossdressing but I didn't consider myself a crossdresser.
It wasn't until I started getting fully dressed up and going about my day around the house doing chores. It was then that I took stock of my actions and my growing wordrobe that I had a "holy crap" moment and realized I'm a crossdresser.
Your friend may never progress pass heels and hose but problably will and have his own "holly crap" moment.
Hugs,
Roxy

[CONSUELO]

A long time ago I was visiting a friend who was a cross dresser. I was dressed in lingerie and he pointed out, quite correctly, that I was a transvestite. I denied it and said it was just a fetish. So much for being "young, ignorant and clueless". When you are in denial you cannot easily be persuaded otherwise.

[Pat]

What's the purpose of the term crossdresser here? It could be so he can describe himself or it could be so you could describe him. When describing himself he does not want to use the term crossdresser. I think we have to give him that right if we want others to accept our own self-evaluations. On the other hand if you're using the term to describe him (to someone else, clearly it would be disrespectful to use the term when speaking to him) then he doesn't get to choose your words.

This seems like a power game to me. The point seems to be to decide who gets to define whom.

[Pumped]

Jennie, I really could care less what he wants to call himself. I just thought it was funny when I clearly saw it as crossdressing, as many do here too. I think he is in denial, certainly when he connects dressing with being gay. I guess he thinks it is ok to wear woman's clothing, just don't be gay while you are doing it! ;-)

[Nikki A.]

We all talk about wanting to wear what we want and yet here is someone who does and we all condemn him. A name is just a name. Now I am a crossdresser and I accept it. However there are times where I will wear tights and p/h for support or warmth, Under that I wear panties because they fit better under p/h. When I wear hose for support I don't consider that cross dressing either.
I also have a couple of pairs of women's clogs some with a 2+ inch heel that I wear in drab, that honestly I wouldn't wear when dressing enfemme. Yes they are from the women's department but I also don't consider them as cross dressing.

[Ressie]

Oh no, he would fall into the transvestite category! :) <smiley face

[Rhian]

He sounds like a crossdresser to me and one who is likely to jump deeper down the rabbit hole. I've always been reluctant to label myself but by definition I am crossdresser as I like to wear women's clothes. Your friend is possibly in the same vote.

[Tracii G]

I think he is gay.
I would know.

[Lori Kurtz]

We all talk about wanting to wear what we want and yet here is someone who does and we all condemn him. A name is just a name. Now I am a crossdresser and I accept it.

Sorry, but I can't agree with that. First, I don't think we (or most of us, anyway) or condemning the guy. We're just calling him a crossdresser because he wears women's shoes, women's pantyhose and women's panties. He's pretty much the living definition of a crossdresser. It sounds like the only reason he rejects that designation for himself is that he thinks that to be a crossdresser, he has to be gay. And he either isn't gay, or is gay or doesn't want to admit it. If he would accept that lots of crossdressers are not gay, he might have less trouble calling himself a crossdresser. But words do have meanings, and apart from what some individuals choose to believe about the meaning of "crossdresser," men who wear women's clothes--particularly high-heeled shoes and panties--are, by defininition, crossdressers.

[redtea]

He is a CDer, He is just in denial because denial feels good!
I use denial too, No way am i gonna become a gurl. Nu uh Not for me no way! I'm a man! and these are my Manties*

[Violetgray]

Pumped, this is what your friend's argument sounds like to me:

"Yes, I put this piece of cake in my mouth, chewed it then swallowed it, but I didn't eat it. See, most people eat cake because it's delicious. I just eat it because my blood sugar is low. So because I'm not ingesting it for the same reasons, I don't see why I should say I ate it."

[Alice Torn]

Good point Jacqueline. I never looked at it that way/

[Rhonda Jean]

Many years ago I was on another forum (I think it was a long hair forum) where a member wore dresses, heels, makeup, nail polish, etc. and had gorgeous long hair... but refused to accept the term "crossdresser". He insisted he was NOT a crossdresser, but instead was an "androgyne", which I figured must be a term for an uppity crossdresser.