I chickened out.

[natalie9414]

Hi guys! Before I start just wanted to say that I love that this community exsists! This is my first post as I've always found the idea of wearing women clothingVERY exhilarating but am just now starting to entertain the idea. Sorry for the babble, I'll start the story now.

So just as an fyi.... I don't own any women's clothing. I once used to have a bra a friend of mine had left over and forgot that I would love to wear but that's it. That bra is also long gone. So I've just been dying to get out there and finally buy some clothing I'd feel myself in. So the other morning I finally get the courage, after reading posts from this forum, to go to a thrift shop a few miles from my house. I'd never been there but I figured I'd feel more comfortable in a thrift shop. So I walk around the store And for a while was the only one in there, except for a very old lady at the counter. I absolutely couldnt believe it but I picked up a bra I found to be super cute as well as a top. The bra was red with tons of lace. The bra I used to have was just a plain black bra so this was so exciting plus I've never worn a women's shirt.

Anyways my heart was pounding. I give anyone who walks into stores like this and actually buys things props. I was terrified but I actually got the courage to walk into the dressing room and try this stuff on. It was incredible. Both were a great fit. I wanted them so bad! So I go back, grab another bra the same size and some pretty average pink panties I thought would fit. I didn't wanna try them on as I was already in a dressing room with women's clothing.

Bam! Out of no where a bunch of women walk in and start shopping. I was terrified... I just dropped my stuff and walked out... I was sweating with a pounding heart. I need to get over this. Anyone suggestions? I'm so happy to be apart of this amazing community and can't wait to start dressing how I've always secretly wanted to dress... thanks everyone :)

[Victoria92116]

The one theme that everyone goes by is baby steps. This time you let's your nerves get you, but you were their and doing it. Next time you will know what to expect and can prepare and push through it. Good job on getting out their and trying it. Heck, I've bought stuff but never got the nerve to go into a dressing room, so that's huge.

[Tracy Irving]

Dang. You were so close to the finish line. When you walk out of the dressing room put your purchase back in the cart and take it up to the register. You can always use a men's shirt to cover your items from view. I am quite sure those women don't care what you are buying. It would be sad if they did. It really is none of their business. It's not like you are going to judge what they purchase. So, just have confidence and go for it!!!

[misschris]

Just go to Wal Mart and the self check out. I have done that, but I prefer the nicer stores and looking around and talking to the pretty sales associate. Believe me, it gets easy after a while. I look forward to it.

[OCCarly]

Don't shop for a bra on your first outing. Shop for women's skinny jeans. Lots of guys wear them, and no one will care if you are buying them for yourself or for your wife, daughter or girlfriend. Add a few girly T shirts and tank tops. No one is going to really see what they are. Once you get comfortable with that first move, then work your way towards the more difficult stuff like shoes and intimates.

[Ashley090]

If you are not comfi to shop in person, you can go on internet and shop online, but its kind of risk. If you go in person, shop for something unisex and not that obvious (fluffy pink dress are obvious). Still you can always say that you are buying gift for your gf ;)
On other hand, there isnt any rule saying guys cant buy female stuff :)

[rachel_rachel]

I still get the sweats and the anxiety attacks and I've been visiting the same store for years. I'm allowed to dress there because my friend manages the store, she introduces me to all her staff and tells them what I'm about. I'm only just kind of starting to be around others while dressed there and it's been years.

[njcddresser]

The nerves will pass. Rest assured that the SA could care less. You're a paying customer and they are there to help.

Over the years, I've bought lingerie, women's clothes, make up, you name it.

Never once did I get so much as a second glance.

Try buying something small and simple like a tube of lip stick or a pair of panty hose and see how easy it really is.

[Katie789]

Well done on how far you got!
As I said on the other thread - almost walked out the second a girl caught me looking but just forced through it!! Didn't try anything on though - that comes later!

[Pat]

Hey, you did great! There are lots of people wishing they could get to the point of walking into the thrift shop. Congratulations on a great step forward. There are no failures; there's just stuff you're going to do next time. Next time, quiet your mind and walk up to the counter and pay. You'll walk out of there on cloud 9.

[Krisi]

Halloween is approaching so there's your excuse to buy women's clothes in a thrift shop. You don't have to announce that that's why you are buying them but it may help you if you have this "excuse" in your mind.

[natalie9414]

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Thank you everyone. Every single one of your replies have helped me so much. I'm a young adult and live in my own apartment so I'm dying to just be able to walk around my home dressed in female clothes. I'm out of town at the moment but the second I get home I'm gonna try to just suck it up and actually purchase what I want. I promise to keep you guys updated. You have helped me so much, although I'm a brand new member. :)

[Micki_Finn]

Online shopping really is a great way to do it if you're nervous. Sizing can be a bit of a crapshoot just because everything fits slightly different, but most online retailers offer exchanges or refunds. You can also go to a Kohls. Grab some women's clothes for sizing, then go to the men's side to try them on (no attendants, so you can be stealthy). That'll give you a rough idea of your sizing, (remember that women's clothes can be sized various ways so try numbered sizes as well as Small, med, large, xl).

Also, it's a little counter intuitive, but bigger and busier the store the better if you're going to shop in person. Especially if you're going to be shopping in drab. That little thrift store may seem to offer more privacy, but when you're the only customer in a 3 hour stretch, that clerk is going to take much more notice of you. If you're in a department store and you're one of 10 people in line, that clerk isn't going to remember you past the next checkout.

And I can't say this enough as a person with nearly 20 years years in retail, a guy shopping for women's clothes does NOT automatically read "crossdresser". I can promise you that for every crossdresser buying women's clothes there are at least 2 men buying clothes for their wife/daughter/gf/mother whatever.

[natalie9414]

Btw, I think Halloween is a great reason to have an excuse. I just over think everything and feels as if even if I use that excuse the person checking me out will not believe me. Hopefully keeping that in the back of my mind as an excuse will help me check out next time. Hopefully when I go back I can find the same bra and top I found.

[Rhandi Spencer]

Natalie,
I feel your pain. Many times I have gone into a store to purchase items with all the courage in the world only to walk out without anything.
I think it is awesome you actually tried items on in the dressing room, that is one area I have yet to overcome my fear.
I have bought bras, panties, hose, makeup etc and been able to look the SA in the eye and ask questions but never tried anything on.

I started out buying bra's and panties because I thought I would only underdress. That has changed as well.

My next step of courage is getting a wig fitting and a make over at Sephora. Doing both on the same day and very nervous but I will succeed on this.

Good luck on your journey, this is a great forum and the girls are always willing to help.

Randi

[Jaylyn]

It's really crazy in that I am very comfortable just walking into a store and buying packages of hose, bras or makeup as long as I have a few other things in the basket. I don't use the self check out often but it is a good idea.
What's crazy about all this is I'm just not out and would be terrified to wear any of the items I purchase out in public. I need help on one day doing that in a different town than I live in.
Like a few said already buying is not the big deal to me it is the wearing it in public. I guess we all have certain demons or what we have a perception as demons to us. My only rule is I won't buy any female things in my home town, except for my wife's birthday or her presents.

[Lana Mae]

Natalie, hon, you did good!! Small steps on our journey! I have not tried anything on or even taken anything into a fitting room! True I buy almost everything on the internet and have my sizes down fairly well but you are now further ahead than me!! I do however purchase many feminine things in stores such as pantyhose and fingernail polish and lipstick without any problem, but I bought these things for my wife in the past. Bravo for your going forward!! Hugs Lana Mae

[AlyssaJ]

Halloween is approaching so there's your excuse to buy women's clothes in a thrift shop. You don't have to announce that that's why you are buying them but it may help you if you have this "excuse" in your mind.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Natalie, maybe you can give it another go and just keep this in mind. I knew a woman who worked at one of those thrift shops. It was not at all uncommon around halloween for guys to come in and buy women's clothes for their costumes. Right now is the perfect time to do it, you'll blend right in and I doubt anyone will even bat an eye.

[CONSUELO]

Natalie,
A common story. I am sure that most of us here have a similar story from our early days of shopping for female clothing. I still remember buying my first half-slip at a lingerie store and being served by a young woman. It went OK but I was a little nervous.
A few weeks ago I shopped for some new perfume. I was asked if it was for my wife and I looked straight at the SA and replied "No, its for me". No reaction, completed the purchase and exchanged some pleasantries and then left.
Confidence and brazenness will always carry the day, so just go and do it and don't worry about anyone else and what they may or may not think of what you are doing.

[Jenniferathome]

...Out of no where a bunch of women walk in and start shopping. I was terrified... I just dropped my stuff and walked out... ...

So to summarize, people you didn't know entered a store to go about their business.

Seems kind of silly to feat that, eh?

[trishacd]

I love buying cute clothes,I was at l local k mart the other day and grabbed a skirt and 3 dresses also 2 bras to try on. I was almost to the dressing room when a s/a checked how many items I was taking in.She looked thru everything.It was kind of exciting. Kina of a rush.

[Laurana]

It happens. And it gets easier.

Sooner or later you'll realize that people don't care what others are buying.

[dolovewell]

I just bought a 34DD push up bra and 5 pairs of panties for myself at Victoria's Secret in male mode yesterday.

This is what I did. I immediately located an SA, told her what I was looking for. Didn't say it was for me, but she didn't ask. If she asked, I just would have said it was for my girlfriend. No biggie. She helped me find what I was looking for and pick out a good bra and panties. I was nice, polite, talkative, confident, upbeat, and fun. I smiled. I had good posture and body language. I spoke clearly and didn't mumble. Everything went smoothly.

Here is my tip. Seek out an SA right away. Be very nice and polite with her. Act like you are happy and in a good mood and this is no big deal. Be upbeat and chatty and talkative. Let her know what you are looking for. Be fun. Be smooth.

This will make her a lot more comfortable around you and make it easier for the both of you.

If you walk in and try to avoid people, avoid talking to anyone, avoid eye contact, and just kind of sulk and lurk around trying to find what you need to buy and get out quickly, it will make you uncomfortable and everyone else in the store uncomfortable. It won't be a fun or enjoyable experience.

[Maria 60]

I probably would have did the same thing. Never give up, hopefully the next time will go better

[IleneD]

Natalie, dear.
Everyone here understands the jitters, the doubt, the 'fear'. And those are very legitimate concerns when it comes to dealing with friends, family, co-workers who may know you. Deal with those situations individually based on your perception of acceptance, and proceed with care.
HOWEVER.... when dealing with the general public and especially retail (shopping), I go with the advice of Consuelo (above), that confidence and brazenness will always carry the day. Put your Big Girl panties on and just do it; a valuable life lesson all around.
I'm getting particularly "bad" about not concealing that I'm shopping for myself. I go to Macy's, Dillards, Nordstrom or almost any store. No problem pulling a dress down and holding it up against myself for drape and fit. It's kind of a sport to steal a peak at the real women as I go quietly about my shopping. I often have salespeople who I know "get it" as they give me a look, and we proceed to check the racks for something appropriate (for a 6'3", 217lb, man). I usually don't go into the women's dressing rooms to try on garments. Rather not be THAT brazen as to deliberately precipitate a scene [especially in this day when folks on alert for the trans bathroom issue].
Not a problem, as I've figured out my sizes fairly quickly, fairly well and with the least amount of errors possible. I think I got a 3 pack of great panties very much a size small once. Dresses, leggings, tops, my bras, my heels (a very tough size 14 find), and even my panties now fit confidently. My wife (who knows, but is still slowly getting "better" about it), went pantie shopping with me once. She still gives me a grimace and head wag when I'm poring over a rack of XL dresses, or openly commenting ["OMG, I would look so adorable in this!"].
My advice is just go in and DO IT. No one cares. Hell, half the human race has their head somewhere else (cellphone, butt, etc), and rarely even pay attention to what's swirling about them; even a man shopping the women's dept. Don't sweat it. Be bold. Make it part of the sport.

[donnalee]

Another technique is the "Flea Market Stroll" as I like to call it. Walk down the aisles looking from side to side. If there's anything of interest, come back to check it out when the situation is better after having gone through the whole store.