Not Who She Said She Was

[Krisi]

There was a member who posted here on a regular basis, probably since before I joined. One day she was gone. Someone asked and the report back was that she had been banned because she was not who she said she was.

This is the Internet of course and on the Internet, we can be whoever and whatever we want to be. A person can be a multinational corporation on the Internet when in reality, he is selling things out of his basement.

There are times when I read posts by some of the long time members and I say to myself "What she just posted doesn't match up to things she posted about herself in the past." Sure, some things change over time like where we live, our marital status, how much time we spend dressed, but some things cannot change. I'm wondering if that Internet freedom is creeping in or if perhaps there is some pretending going on and they have forgotten their history on this forum.

There's no way to know what is real and what is not on the Internet. For example, look at the avatars and photos posted by members. There was a member who I followed a while back and I always though of her as her avatar photo until she admitted that it was not her, but a photo of a woman taken from the Internet. Certainly there are more cases of this. It's not hard to imagine some creepy old man posting here as a crossdresser or even a woman and getting his jollies while doing it.

So is there a point to this rant? Yep. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet and don't believe everything you see on the Internet. And that would include this forum. It's good for entertainment and you can get some good advice and ideas here but it's up to you to think about what you read and what you see before you believe it or act on it.

[Tracy Irving]

I saw this on the internet.
266572

[MartineCD]

Krisi you are absolutely right. None of us can be sure of who we are giving and receiving advice to no matter how well intended. We are all adults here and should use a heavy dose of common sense before enacting any course of action based on any advice received.

Always remember 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

M x

[NicoleScott]

Krisi, I'm not really a crossdresser, but a Nigerian Prince that needs your assistance getting my fortune out of the country........ha.
I agree with you that the internet allows people to be deceptive, but I also see the flip side: it allows honesty. I have made forum posts and had conversations (from long ago AOL crossdressing chat rooms to present day PM's) in which I revealed things about me and my CDing that I would never reveal to someone who knows my true name and identity. It's made possible by anonymity - my name and online identity are fake - what I post is true. A lot of us wouldn't be here trying to connect with like-minded CDers unless we can do anonymously.

[Alice_2014_B]

It is actually really scary as to who is out there doing whatever.
Thanks for the sobering reminder.
:)

[Lana Mae]

Krisi, yes, any old creep could be out there lurking in the internet goo. Do not believe anything you read or see on the internet. But guess what, without the internet I still would not know that I am a crossdresser. I would not know about this site where despite anything negative, I have learned a lot and gained a few friends who are not afraid to listen to my long rants! In other words, yes it is a rotten world, but there are a few rays of hope out there that keep us going on on our journey! I am ranting again, sorry!! Hugs Lana Mae

[Lily Catherine]

Anonymity is an extremely sharp, albeit dangerous double-edged sword.

On one hand, this very veil of anonymity has allowed us to speak our minds beneath the signature of another name, to share thoughts and beliefs that no one else would likely hear, to open up and live a part of us that might well have been canned up, denied and rejected otherwise. I wouldn't know who else to turn to if not for this forum - goodness knows how different this part of me would have turned out if I found myself on other social media like Reddit / Tumblr etc. in place of this site.

On the other hand, it would be deceptively easy for one to take advantage of the same veil to commit malice for whatever reason. As did Krisi, I have also imagined the notion of a shady figure lurking on this site and deriving an unimaginable, perverse pleasure from goodness knows what. I'm more concerned with lurkers than anyone who posts, but there really isn't much I can complain about either.

While this is indeed a world that encourages and indeed expects us to speak our minds, remain vulnerable and wear our innermost selves outside like a flag, we all have our shadows: those we seek refuge in, those we have emerged from and shed. These shadows are every inch a part of our authentic selves as well, much as there will always be those who take advantage of their shadowy veils. There's thus an air of negativity over the word 'hide' all over the global observer - that hiding implies shame, and shame implies a guilty conscience of sorts. But that's another thought for another time.

I still take this entire site with a good amount of salt nonetheless - while many of us want to 'be ourselves' in one way or another in posting here, recognition is its own can of worms. Recognition is perhaps a way to drop your guard and show that you mean well - like how knights raised their visors, soldiers salute with open palms and ships by discharging their cannon. I don't find it entirely necessary to disclose personal identification information; to force out such information from another would be despicable at best and a severe invasion of privacy at worst.

This said, personal advice is limited only because not all of ourselves can be fully represented. Everything on the Internet, much less this forum, is up to your own discretion - not just because nobody knows you're a Nigerian prince (with all apologies to actual traditional Nigerian royalty), but also because we all know ourselves best. While vulnerability in showing ourselves, flaws and all does allow one to be sincere and avoid pretense, it doesn't mean that one can presume that everyone else would do likewise.

[AlyssaJ]

This is a very important point you make Krisi. I always read things on the internet with a certain degree of skepticism. I'll admit, I know a lot of you have supportive SOs who are involved in your cross dressing. However, I do also have to admit that when I read some of the experiences that get posted I wonder if they're real or just a closeted CD's fantasy. While I'm naturally a skeptic I do try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I am careful about how much stock I put into people's posts.

[~Joanne~]

I usually don't keep up with everyone's full posting history here, it's impossible but I do see where a story here and there changes and maybe the situation changed too? who knows, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and I know my story never changes, my life is that boring lol but I do agree that some of these posts , even with an accepting SO, are way out there and probably are a closeted girls fantasies. Hell we all have them , best not to post about them though unless your actually labeling the thread a fantasy ;)

[Jenniferathome]

One advantage of this forum is that you can search anyone's post history. Unless someone had adopted a specific "persona" I think it's hard to hide who you really are but I sure hope people are changing. Isn't that the point of joining this forum? To figure things out and make positive change? For every thousand here, there is one troll. So what?

I remember distinctly writing about how important it was to "pass" in order to go out. Today I am a clear advocate that "passing" is a fantasy and that it's a waste of time thinking about it. When I joined, I wasn't going out. I didn't realize that it was simple confidence that allows us out the door. I learned and changed.

[Jane G]

An interesting discusion and a very valid point you are making Krisi. I am still very much a closet cd who would love to enjoy total freedom to be just me. I have a wife of some 35+ years who knows pretty much exactly who I am and then I have the rest of the plannet. They have little idea save for the occasional words I type on these pages. I do not for one moment believe every thing typed here is true. But I do believe the vast majority of it is well intentioned and to the benefit of people like myself.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Kristi, I'm who I say I am. For one thing I honestly can't make this stuff up. I think most of us who have been on the Forum for awhile know the honest scoop on many. There are a few old friends who never come on any more that I really miss but there are always new ones we are meeting as well.Works for me. :battingeyelashes::)

[Rachael Leigh]

Thanks Krisi I find myself being more skeptical of things I read online anymore. Not so much here but your right sometimes
I do find myself wondering if what they say about themselves is really true. I try myself to be pretty transparent.
Leigh

[Lorileah]

Ah yes the fantasy world. Most here live in it and we accept that. The issue comes when someone breaks the rules to play that game. No, I don't believe everything people post here. There has to be a certain amount of imagination in this lifestyle. Otherwise, people wouldn't really care about how they are perceived while out dancing, or flirting or driving. And to honest people do come on here and make a whole persona that many respect or admire. And since there is no real life vetting happening, it goes on. No harm no foul. Until they do cross that line that pushes the rules or they become a troll in some manner. A small percentage here do make sure that there is proof of who they are. But as you well know, most cannot due to family or work or community.

So, do you trust those who are members? I do in most cases. Why not? People come here to learn and not be alone.

[Krisi]

It's hard to say that I trust those who are members. It depends a lot on what is being discussed. If someone says that they got a nice blouse at Kohls, yes I trust them. If they say a person cannot lose his job because of crossdressing, well I know better. I'm not sure that's a matter of trust, they might be just naïve. Or, they may be promoting an agenda.

Anything that gets posted that doesn't seem likely arouses suspicion. And of course I lose trust in the ones who have posted conflicting information about themselves. It's pretty much what I posted in my original post.

Yes, people come here to learn and not be alone but other people come here to fool people. It's a shame, but it happens.

[ellbee]

While we're on the subject, I actually have a confession to make: The person in my avatar is not really me! :confused3: :D

[MelanieAnne]

A lot of people may actually be who they say they are, but posting 20 year old pics. That is probably more common than some old creep posting.
Some posters look pretty hot, but I have to remind myself they are men, and I'm heterosexual.

"Now I live near Key West. And before you ask a girl on a date, you better check her for a pecker, before it's too late". Howard Livingston "Living On Key West Time" :heehee:

[Marcelo]

While we're on the subject, I actually have a confession to make: The person in my avatar is not really me! :confused3: :D

Well rat farts...

I guess I should admit that the person in my avatar is not really me either. :sad: Neither is Marcelo my real name but it is my real fictional character's name whose alias is Marcy when dressed. Neither was I actually on the Wheaties box for winning a bronze medal for the pole vault in the 1982 Olympic summer games as I often claim to have been.

Busted!

"All the world's indeed a stage and we are merely players, performers and portrayers - each another's audience outside the gilded cage."
Rush, Limelight

[Robin414]

I still have her on my friends list
You can do a Google Image search of my avatar and pretty sure Robin414 from CD.COM will hit the top of the list.

That said though cyberspace can be pretty scary, I took down my Boy mode v. Girl mode pics for the same reason I don't 'store' my CC number when I shop online...cuz my pics are like money people ��

Actually I look old enough that my pics could be ON money ��

[Maria 60]

Well ok you got me. I'm not going to lie, it's a small world and I'm a closet crossdresser who occasionally takes a drive dressed. I can't afford to be outed and like you said I don't know who is on the other side. When on this site I'm very honest about my crossdressing problems and always give heart felt response to others here and hope everyone else is the same. Just like everything else, there is a history here and very easy to follow someone, where there from, how many kids, medical problems, etc,etc. Being here as long as I have I'm easy to follow, so I will admit to sometimes throwing in a side ball like. I went on vacation to Cuba, but I went to Mexico, but the story portraying to my holiday is real, my crossdressing problems that I ask for advice here is real. The advice I give to others is real. The stories I post are real, I have no reason to lie and I do take this site serious and hope when someone give advice to me or to others they are real. But till the day I want to take larger steps and tell my kids and family who I really am . I'm afraid I will throw in the curve ball now and then to make sure that right now nobody can trace my history to find out who I am. So you are going to see some inconsistency in my history. I love this site, it's really changed my life and completed Maria. This site was the first place and only place I joined anything to do with my dressing and the first time I spoke as Maria. I appreciate your post and we have to expect curtain things here, after all we are on the Internet. We read and the truth is in the eye of the beholder, it's up to the individual to believe or not to believe. Thanks and I'm sure you must have opened a few eyes with this post. And by the way, those are my legs on my avatar.Lol

[Laceytosee]

Well said Lilian.

Lacey

[OCCarly]

Just imagine: The person you are corresponding with could be any one of these folks here: http://www.thedailybeast.com/galleries/2009/10/04/cross-dressing-politicians.html

[Mink]

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/427/566/b67.jpeg

NOBODY KNOWS YR A DOG!

[Stephanie47]

This site is just a reflection of society in general. I'm sure there are posters who are here under false pretenses; giggling young girls, dirty old men, female crossdresser haters, etc. Reaching the end of my seventh decade on this planet I've encountered in real life men and women pretending to be someone they really are not. Do I call them on it? Sometimes, if it really rankles me such as pretending to be a combat veteran. Here? I've noticed pictures that appear to be photo shopped. I really cannot check out the stories of someone venturing out for the entire day attired as a woman. Fiction? Fantasy? Reality? It really does not matter. The vast majority of posts that I believe are tota reality are those that reflect the reality of who I am. My questioning? My turmoil. My relationship with my wife. The only thing I do not like on this forum is the encouragement to "Just do it!" made to a supposed young man who really does not understand the consequences of one's actions.

Otherwise, well, this has been my only outlet to discuss issues that I cannot discuss with any other persons in my life.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm shocked, SHOCKED! to find fakery happening on the Internet! Next they will tell us that politicians lie and bankers cheat their customers. I really don't care if someone is fake or not as long as they raise an interesting point - principles before personalities. If they can spin a good yarn to illustrate a point, well that's entertainment! I'm only here to try to understand my little quirk a bit better not to win friends and influence people. Being a Southerner by heritage, I know a good lie always starts with, "You ain't gonna believe this!" or "This is the God's honest truth!" or "This ain't no lie!"

[Teresa]

Lorileah.
I was hoping you might shed some light on how the forum decides if members are genuine or not, as Krisi says some members are uncovered and thrown off. I personally can't see the point of not being genuine ,to me you are cheating yourself but that's being naive in thinking some people come here for other reasons. I did suspect recently that someone was having fun at our expense.
I also feel Krisi is mainly talking about the M/F section, some of the threads and comments in loved Ones and the TS section are heart rending , it would be inexcusable to be false when members really do open their souls looking for or giving help .

[MelanieAnne]

It's just a matter of degrees. Because we are all presenting ourselves as something other than what we really are.

[Tracii G]

Melanie Anne maybe you are.
There are a bunch of us that are being ourselves everyday out in the big old TG world.

[NicoleScott]

You don't have to be "out in the big old world". There's nothing dishonest about saying I'm a closeted crossdresser and my real name is not Nicole. That's all true. It would be dishonest to claim I'm a GG. I don't post things about myself that might reveal my true identity. Since that would be expected from a closeted crossdresser, it's not dishonest.
I generally believe what I read here.

[ReineD]

I don’t think it matters much in the CD or NB section whether someone’s a fake or not. It matters or it used to matter more in the TS section. There are more resources available now for transitioners, but it wasn’t that long ago when transition was more difficult, when it was also more difficult to meet others who had already transitioned. The people who sought support from members in the TS section would not have wanted someone to share "made-up" experience, given that a transitioner has a greater investment in his/her decisions (they have more to lose) than someone who is flexible with their presentation.

I believe the person you refer to posted regularly in the TS section.

[Jenniferathome]

.... we are all presenting ourselves as something other than what we really are.

You do not represent me. Your pronoun usage is poorly chosen.

[Ineke Vashon]

I note just a few too many OLD in this thread. Dirty OLD man, OLD creep. One does not have to be old to be dirty or a creep or whatever. My objection stems from being an octogenarian. I am old but not OLD in that sense. Be kind to seniors please.
Some of us even wear feminine attire.:belly:

Ineke

[Heidi Stevens]

I likening this to the old Umpire quote: I call 'em as I see 'em! And if I don't see 'em, I make it up. Unless you meet your fellow sisters who post here IN PERSON, you can't completely trust anyone on line. I am very trusting to all. I know nearly all of you are representing yourselves. But unless you meet someone in person, or with a person who met another member, we all have to accept there could always be a poser among us. My hope is we can all trust each other here and be who we are.

[docrobbysherry]

Nonsense! If u really r interested in finding out what other dressers r like, if u really care if they're like they appear to be on line? U'll do more than just chat on line about it. I believe most of u don't really care?

When I wondered about that 7 years ago after some in depth chats here, I needed to know! So, I got off my butt and flew to Atlanta for the SCC T event. Not only did see CD's in person for the very first time, I got to meet the 35 cd.comers that were there.:)

I'll never forget my first nite there. After stowing my bags I wondered into the hotel bar which was packed with men in dresses. I walked up to the first table and said, "Hi". Turns out everyone at that table was a cd.comer. A couple of which I went there specifically to meet. That was followed by 4 more SCC's where I got to know so many more girls from here. Like me, some still visit here!

Not a bad apple in the lot. Didn't meet a phony at any of the events. Except possibly me!:o

Like I tell my FB "friends" when they talk about us being friends, "We aren't real friends. I don't know anything about u. If u disappeared tomorrow it wouldn't bother either one of us. To be friends we would have to meet and get to know each other."

If u really wonder if folks here r the same in person as online? Go and meet some cd.comers. I'm betting if u and they show up, they're not only going to be the real deal, I think you're going meet some very remarkable folks! :hugs:

If u don't know them except online does it really matter if they're "real" or not?

[Georgette_USA]

It matters or it used to matter more in the TS section. There are more resources available now for transitioners, but it wasn’t that long ago when transition was more difficult, when it was also more difficult to meet others who had already transitioned. The people who sought support from members in the TS section would not have wanted someone to share "made-up" experience, given that a transitioner has a greater investment in his/her decisions (they have more to lose) than someone who is flexible with their presentation.

I believe the person you refer to posted regularly in the TS section.


I keep getting questioned about my background. Transitioned in the late 70s. I find it's pointless to keep arguing about the past. I also forget many have a made up FB page also. I posted my FB page Georgette Cornio , on some posts that were deleted. Was told that it doesn't look like a TG/TS page. Not sure what it is supposed to look like. There are some on here that are also on it, that I meet with IN PERSON. Also some of my friends list from here.

I am too old to care anymore. Retired, no SO, whole family and friends know my background.

Have heard rumours of someone on the TS forums also.

I may be naive but not sure why anyone would get on a site like this and make up all kinds of things. I can see where some on the TS forums, wouldn't want someone to give BAD advice.

[Lorileah]

It isn't usually bad advice but often more made up experiences, especially in the TS realm. Made up lives and boyfriends and jobs and parties with Brad Pitt that led to Angelina breaking up with him (ops, um...ignore that Brad and I didn't hook up...it was someone else)

[Valery L]

I don't even know who am I...

[Georgette_USA]

but often more made up experiences, especially in the TS realm. Made up lives and boyfriends and jobs and parties with Brad Pitt that led to Angelina breaking up with him (ops, um...ignore that Brad and I didn't hook up...it was someone else)


I have probably the most uninteresting experiences. My adventures in the 70s-80s were interesting but NO boyfriends, all too real boring jobs, and until recently not much on parties. Of course a party with both Brad and Angelina sounds good.

My partner, also a Post MtF, and I bought a plain suburban house and for 30+ years just grew old together.

[ReineD]

I may be naive but not sure why anyone would get on a site like this and make up all kinds of things.

They do it to play out their fantasies. It enables a sim-type (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2022782/Video-gamers-play-adopt-new-identity-experience-superpowers.html) "ideal" life they have decided to not pursue in real life.



I can see where some on the TS forums, wouldn't want someone to give BAD advice.

Precisely. The last thing a potential transitioner needs is for a member to relate fantasy experiences. People who wonder if they should take that step need to hear from transitioners about what they really went through, not from someone who plays out a fantasy version online.

[Kate Simmons]

One person said something about others posting 20 year old pics. So what? Unless you are looking for a date, what's the difference? Better than posting no pic. Besides some of us look the same as we did then anyway. There may also be technical reasons why they cannot use a recent pic. Not everyone is a cyber whiz. I just accept everyone for who they say they are unless they prove differently. :)

[ellbee]

Better than posting no pic.

How do you figure that one? :strugglin


For the record, I have no photos of myself. I stupidly trashed them over the years. But even if I did still have some, I'm not sure I would be using one as my avatar here. Just my personal preference.

I share enough in other ways, thanks. :)

And even though I'm not particularly recognizable (co-workers who I've worked with 40+ hours/week for years in the same department genuinely had no idea who I was while all dolled-up, whether via photos or even in-person, for example), and *plus* I actually make a pretty cute chick (which is fine if no one here believes me or not), I still don't feel it's a requirement in order to be here.


Besides, Bugs is one of my idols. That "wascally wabbit" pulled the wool over so many characters' eyes while in drag, it's not even funny.

Actually, it is pretty funny. :D


But photos or lack thereof is a non-issue, IMO.

[Meghan4now]

Well my thought on the matter is that we all play some role in our lives every day. We are not exposing our true selves fully to everyone every day. We do hold back, a least a little. And in fact we don't even know the full extent of our selves. But that's life, so what?

Where we run into problems here is when people create fantastic stories (I lost 20 lbs, and went from a dress size 20 to a 4. As if) that create a false expectation or hope. For a group of people that are typically self critical, and some potential delusional, that is not helpful. The other thing is that if someone feels that the lies have played their emotions, and they have invested time in being sympathetic, they may be angry to feel duped or played. Partially their own fault for emotionally investing.

As far as photos go. Many of us wish we could look better, and fall into the comparison trap. Hard to compete with a photoshopped version of Heidi Klum!

I personally try to be honest in my photos and post. Am I really a female, no, but I do love to create that illusion as an art form. My art form is paint and tape, not pixels. Others may feel different so photoshopping doesn't feel dishonest to them.

Oh and BTW my current photos are representations of how I've been feeling lately. Not what I look like.

[ChristinaK]

I guess I'm naive. I haven't read anything that seemed suspicious to me. But, I know there are dishonest and nefarious characters out there. I just don't like to distrust people.

Sure wish I hadn't given all my money to that prince though!

I'm sure that if one read all my posts, they would find contradictions. As a girl wrote earlier, many of us have changed as we have evolved in our TG journey.

Thanks to this site, I found the courage to go out into the world and am so glad I did. Early on, I probably said I'm a closet CDer.

So, armed with this new found knowledge about some on this site, I will be more careful about believing some posts, but I don't make decisions because of any of them individually. The collective is what has changed my life and I believe the vast majority of the people on here are genuine.

[Krisi]

............................... The last thing a potential transitioner needs is for a member to relate fantasy experiences. People who wonder if they should take that step need to hear from transitioners about what they really went through, not from someone who plays out a fantasy version online.

And there is the problem. It's far too easy for someone to claim they are this or claim they are that and make up a "life". It's easy on the Internet and it's all too common. Only when you meet someone in real life do you have a chance to know what and who they really are. And sometimes even then one can make a mistake.

The member I was referring to in my original post claimed to have transitioned many years ago and was living and working as a woman. I don't know if that turned out to be false or not, all I know is what I posted.

Are the other transsexuals genuine? Are the GGs genuine? Are you genuine (and I don't mean that as an insult, I'm just being honest)? We have no way of knowing.

As I posted in my original post, sometimes things don't add up for some people. It's like when you tell a lie you set yourself up for more lies and it's easy to forget some of the lies you've told.

To address some of the concerns that have been posted, Yes, people change over time. You might have worn just panties years ago but now you go out in public as a crossdresser. That's not what I'm discussing. Many of us distort some details of our lives to keep our true identity hidden. Thins like saying we went to Cuba when we really went to Mexico. Things like saying we play golf when we really are fishing. Again, that's not the point.

I'm talking about blatantly false claims that we are this or we are that or we have done this or we have done that and then giving advice based on those lies.

[Gwyneth]

I guess I'm one of those old creeps. Aging, losing "T". Desiring a new direction in my life whether it ever happens or not. If you ever want to see just how far people can take the fantasy side of their lives to a whole new level, troll around on your local craigslist personals.

I could post up a fictional avatar, but I haven't. If I ever get the nerve to "doll up" and take a pic, I post it here. But I've been reading a lot of threads on this site for a while and so far like what I've found. I have one friend that's been great too. One day maybe I'll be a creepy old gurl! You'll be the 1st to know.

[Teresa]

Sherry,
I don't fully agree with you about not caring about other members , some have become good friends that do care as far as the online system allows. I do miss some who appear to have left.

I certainly wouldn't be going out the door now and meeting other members of the TG community if Carole hadn't introduced herself through the forum and invited me along to her social group, and like you I have met other CD.comers at the group. I will add that they are a mix of TSs and Cders from really passable to a guy in a dress but we all get along just fine.

[Meg East]

The internet is a sea of trolls. Proof can be found in the number of visitors viewing this site at any one time. Personally, I try to keep some separation and privacy when on any site. Other than my avatar, I haven't posted any photos of myself.

Just checked, and there 23 members and 129 guests (an undefined term grouping lurkers, etc.)

[Krisi]

It was pointed out long ago that the "guests" may be members who didn't bother to log in.

[Jenniferathome]

The internet is a sea of trolls. Proof can be found in the number of visitors viewing this site at any one time...

Just checked, and there 23 members and 129 guests (an undefined term grouping lurkers, etc.)

Did you not lurk at all prior to joining? Were you a troll then? Those viewing anonymously are likely too shamed/afraid to join at this time. Those that want something pornographic in nature quickly drop off as this site will not fill that void.

[Sandra]

Both myself and Tamara do an IP check before we let new members in, it's amazing how many banned will try to get back in by just changing their username. We also check emails and do our best and use our judgement.

Yes some do slip through, everything can be ok but then when they start posting things don't add up and people start to notice, then more digging is done by myself and Tamara then action is any is taken.

[Teresa]

Sandra,
Thanks for explaining the facts, I'm sure after a while you have a nose for sorting the iffy ones.

Maybe it's not the place to ask but has there been a problem with members and issues with trolls, we know we take a risk with the things we do say and posting pictures. Has a member reported having pictures used elsewhere or had their identity cloned ?

[ReineD]

And there is the problem. It's far too easy for someone to claim they are this or claim they are that and make up a "life". It's easy on the Internet and it's all too common. Only when you meet someone in real life do you have a chance to know what and who they really are. And sometimes even then one can make a mistake.

The member I was referring to in my original post claimed to have transitioned many years ago and was living and working as a woman. I don't know if that turned out to be false or not, all I know is what I posted.

Are the other transsexuals genuine? Are the GGs genuine? Are you genuine (and I don't mean that as an insult, I'm just being honest)? We have no way of knowing.

Nope, I'm a crossdresser in disguise and I've been portraying myself as a GG here just for kicks all this time. LOL - but seriously, I've met several of the moderators here (some have come to my home and I've gone to theirs), also several local members and a few we've met when we've traveled, and I also spent a weekend at one of the ex-admin's house when she was living not too far from me. I am indeed a GG. :)

As to passing oneself off as a transitioned TS when one isn't, people who have gone through it or people who know dozens of transitioned TSs can tell - for the most part - although admittedly it can take time simply because there's not much we can garner in a post that has a few paragraphs. Still, there's something about fakeness that shines through eventually to those of us who have a good nose for this, although I'm sure some people don't have a nose for this at all, especially if instead of objectivity, they look for posts that confirm what they want to hear.

But as I said earlier, I don't think it matters so much outside the TS section, when the degree of "fakeness" has to do with how often someone goes out, how well they say they look, or how well accepted they say they are in their lives. There are enough other members here who do relate genuine experiences to have a real consensus of opinion in any given thread.

... one thing I didn't mention, it would matter if a non-GG should join FAB, simply because of the confidentiality involved there. The last thing a FAB needs, is to have an intruder there who would break the confidentiality rules and discuss a GG's posts with other members.

There was a banned TS/TG member who came back pretending to be a GG. Although she didn't attempt to join FAB, I was able to tell it was her, just based on her attitudes in her posts. Staff confirmed it was her based on her IP address and she was banned again. It was easy to tell it was her - she was just as unbalanced portraying herself as a GG as she had been before.


Has a member reported having pictures used elsewhere or had their identity cloned ?

Yes, it has happened to a few people here. This is the internet! Anyone can drag any picture on their desktop and even if a website has scripts to prevent this, it is still easy to get around. At one point there was a person out there who had a blog celebrating how pretty were MtFs, who was in the habit of going to CD/TG websites and stealing pics. Still, I don't think there are a lot of people who do that. lol.

[Meghan4now]

One other possibility, I've seen some posts by some members that got either nasty or insulting, for no apparent reason. It seemed like they were trolling or looking to cause a fight or controversy, as a sport. Heck we have enough of that as is without some poser coming in to stir the pot. When I see that, it makes me wonder why they are here, and who they really are.

[ReineD]

Meghan, this is the internet. There will always be trolls. Some of them are better at it than others.

The internet's anonymity gives people the chance to be and to say the things they feel they cannot be or say in real life. At the same time, I'd say that most people who participate here do so because they genuinely want to talk to like-minded people. So you need to learn to ignore people whom you feel are trolling, and just respond to the people whom you feel are not trolling. That said, a lot of people will disagree with what you and others say and if they do, it doesn't mean they are trolling. There are lots of differences of opinion about a lot of things in this community.

[Meghan4now]

Reine,

Exactly. And I'm sure when the Mods definitively find a troll, they'll take care of it. My point, which you helped illuminate, was back to Krisi's OP. Why would some one fake who they are here. One of many possibilities.

And you're right. Don't feed the trolls. It is pointless and encourages them.

[BLUE ORCHID]

First of all Blue Orchid is not the name on my drivers license, Blue is just my favorite color and an Orchid is just my favorite flower.

My Crossdressing is so fantastic that I don't have to make up things about it,
and contrary to what Kris said, "Without pictures it didn't happen" (RE: My new forms) Well if I write it here it DID happen ...:daydreaming:...

[Gwyneth]

Likewise right now I just a guy in Bartlett. Just looking over the edge of this. I'm at the "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" stage. I know when I shave the beard, apply the makeup; its no going back. Whether I like what I see or I'm horrified, I can't undo that moment.

So yes I'm lurking.

[SherriePall]

I think, for the most part, most of us take some of the wilder stories here with a grain of salt. Stories like, "I went out to get the mail wearing nothing but my panties and bra and my neighbor saw me and he ran into his house and came out wearing his matching set. And then we went to get something to eat at the local diner...."
Alarm bells usually go off and we can either question the poster or ignore it and shake our heads in disbelief that someone thinks he can get that by us.
Oh sure, sometimes we do fall for a story. But in the whole scheme of things, we are not betting the ranch on it.
BTW, My avatar is really me. It is a couple of years old now (I am not that great with these contraptions) and I now have trouble wearing that gown. (It was tight to begin with!)
In short I treasure and cherish those moments I spend here with my kindred spirits. And, if I may, my friends.

[JeanetteX]

I really like your post SherriePall, very well said. And Krisi, I think this is a very interesting topic and thread. BTW my avatar is also really me. For those who don't believe me feel free to come over and check it out LOL. Like everyone else I also have my defects but I am proud to say that honesty here on the forum is a big value for me

[Dana44]

Frankly, I've seen trolls and they get eliminated pretty fast here. Many of us who post tell what we know and do not make up stuff. BY the way my avatar is not me. I would not post a picture of me here or any where on the net. I am not full time or strange in any way. many people here pour their heart out and you know what a troll looks like. as many have been deleted as people identified them. So why not take what people are saying that are long term member here and even new one that are sincere in their posts. And of course we hide ourselves. We are not out to the world but we post the truth here but we also warn that to take what anybody says with a grain of salt. So everybody here including you Krisi has a profile of threads that say who you are. So for example I know you are not a troll.

[OCCarly]

Lorileah.
I was hoping you might shed some light on how the forum decides if members are genuine or not, as Krisi says some members are uncovered and thrown off. I personally can't see the point of not being genuine ,to me you are cheating yourself but that's being naive in thinking some people come here for other reasons. I did suspect recently that someone was having fun at our expense.
I also feel Krisi is mainly talking about the M/F section, some of the threads and comments in loved Ones and the TS section are heart rending , it would be inexcusable to be false when members really do open their souls looking for or giving help .

What Teresa said. The people in the TS section are a highly vulnerable population because, for the most part, we do not have the option of putting away the girl stuff and reacquiring male privilege -- and doing so is extremely traumatic for most of us. Gender transition is a serious medical situation that involves taking medication which makes permanent changes to your body. And because we have a history of being treated as sex objects, a web forum full of transgender women can be a very tempting target for all sorts of bad people. And it is not just stalkers, chasers and perverts that we have to worry about. Even the tire kickers and the wannabes can be a problem if they start giving advice they are not qualified to give, or start asking for detail about medical procedures for voyeuristic purposes, or steal someone's photos in order to pose as someone they are not -- what the MTV set now call "catfishing."

[msginaadoll]

I general, the truth or a good story is all the same for me on the forum. Where it may be different of course is if I was meeting someone. Then I would make sure it was somewhere safe anyways, also and that I could recognize that person.

[Julogden]

Theres always a few who are up to no good and a few who are totally living in a fantasy world, but it seems like most here are on the up and up. Certainly, attitudes and beliefs can change over the years, might account for some of what you're seeing as discrepancies.

I don't like it when people use photos of someone else for their avatar photo, so I've always used photos of myself. I'll guarantee that my photos in my avatar are really me over a spread of about 37 years, for better or worse. :)

[Krisi]

My avatar is me and my stories are true. Details may have been changed for security reasons. What concerns me and what this thread is about is when people misrepresent who or what they are and then give advice based on that false representation. Not advice on buying breast forms, fashion or where to go out for a good time, advice on relationships, advice on coming out to others, advice on transition, etc. Serious things that can affect someone's life from here on.

I hope that anyone seeking such advice will keep in mind that the person giving the advice may or not be who they say they are and thinks long and hard before acting on such advice.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
I understand your point and accept it but at the same time the person looking for help and guidance usually receives many replies , most of us know which ones may apply to us and which ones are a none starter. OK we all still make mistakes but the does state in its title what it's here for.
Some of us have been to counselling , some find it useful and some walk away scratching our heads , we are all adults and have to make our own choices at the end of the day .

[AnnieMac]

Well gee none of us here are who we say we are. We go out as females, yet we are males, at least physically for the most part. No big surprise, nor big consequences, they haven't given us the nuclear codes or anything. Hardly something to worry about.

[DIANEF]

I've not been very well recently so I havn't posted much, but on this subject I can echo very closely Maria60s' post of the 27th. It would worry me greatly if people ever thought I had any intention of being dishonest about myself to other members, and on a number of subjects I simply don't have the knowledge to make an informed comment so I post nothing. As for my avatar, that is 100% me.

[Amelie]

I am not Amelie, my real name is Yvonne.

I lived in the Times Square/Hells Kitchen area of NYC back when NYC was kinda sleezy and also was a frequent visitor to the Meat Packing area. I can tell you this, there are stories that could be told of living in those areas that few on this forum would believe to be true. But giving bad advise is wrong but people shouldn't base their life on advise giving on the internet forums.

[Nicole Erin]

As far as peoples' pics on the web, even those do not show what the person REALLY looks like. Like this -
I used to go to beauty school with this lady who, on facebook, looked like an Asian model. I mean HOT! Super photogenic. To see her in real life - she looked just like her pics except for one thing - she was a drugged-out weirdo. Incoherent and had this facial expression like she took too many pills or something.

We had this one member here years ago -
I do not think she is banned but she was a faker who posted pics of some Filipino looking woman. GG looking of course, beautiful, had some young rich doctor for a husband, basically a fairy-tale existence. Made a mistake in one of her avatar photos, got called out, never came back.
Of course in subtle ways she loved to remind the rest of us that our lives are not perfect. She changed her story drastically enough times to make you wonder...

Another member did something similar (fake photo) and ended up banned but here was the thing - she was never rude or anything. It kind of sucked seeing her go.

The problem with BS'ing about who one is on a Tg forum is this - we all know the biggest worry we have is our passability. We hate being reminded that we don't. That is like the worst thing you can insult a TG with is reminding them if they are not real convincing. So to come in and BS about your own passing is kind of just rude. It would be like eating a steak in front of a starving person.

Last thing about those who get banned... I am no a mod or anything but it seems the vast majority of those who finally get banned are people who want to butt heads with the mods. I know one of my friends here had a bad habit of doing that. She never lied about her life, looks etc but was always arguing back and froth with a certain admin.

Of course when people post fake pics, it is going to be of someone highly attractive. Can you imagine if someone tried to pass off photos of Honey Booboo's mom as their own? I mean she is the textbook definition of ghastly.

[Becky Blue]

Bear in mind also that possibly some irrelevant details maybe altered to protect ones anonymity. So for example a person may have 3 children... maybe back in the day they said they had 2 children as it can help protect and in reality doesn't matter. Then perhaps years later they talk about their kids and say they have 3.

Obviously the information would need to be irrelevant to anything they posted here or anywhere else but could help people who have to be anonymous be less recognisable.

Forums are basically open to anyone with an email address.

[grace7777]

For me this forum has been a great place. I have had the privilege of meeting a few members in person. One member who I hope to but have not yet met in person, is a LinkedIn Connection. In the future I hope to be able to meet other members in person.

Btw, my avatar is an actual picture of me taken in the summer of 2015. My profile picture was taken in June of 2014.

[Jennifer W]

I am as truthful as possible here. By that I mean some things may be "off" a bit to protect myself and family. I have also gone to therapy and my therapist has helped me piece together my past issues. So maybe things I posted before don't match what I said in the past. At the time, it was as truthful as I remembered it to be.
As for lurking, I do sometimes because I don't always have something to add to what has already been discussed and I want to read and catch up on conversations sometimes before I add anything. I see no sense in signing in if I'm here only to catch up and not add anything.
If I feel i have nothing significant to add then i don't bother signing in. Sometimes I do sign in to read other parts of the site you have to be a member to read like the clothes and beauty sections.

[Stephanie47]

There are times when I read posts by some of the long time members and I say to myself "What she just posted doesn't match up to things she posted about herself in the past." Sure, some things change over time like where we live, our marital status, how much time we spend dressed, but some things cannot change. I'm wondering if that Internet freedom is creeping in or if perhaps there is some pretending going on and they have forgotten their history on this forum.



My long gone grandmother was a very wise woman. One of the things she told me has always stayed in my mind, and, I have passed it on to my kids. She said if you tell a lie you always have to remember the lie. The truth never changes.

[CD Tammy]

I dress. I love to dress. However, I have not worked out for myself what categories that I fit into. Three are times that I would identify myself as a crossdresser. But there are other times, that I would say that I am just a man that likes to wear women's clothing. The difference? I don't wear wigs, make up and the like. Does that mean that I don't take those steps because I do not completely want to be a CD? No, it's because I haven't really had the opportunity to go to that step. I see gurls pictures here and I'm jealous of how passable they are. I wish that I was.

It isn't all about just having an orgasm, either. There are times that I will just dress and do housework or go for a drive. I love how sexy my legs look in pantyhose or tights. Obviously, as most others I am not here under my "real" name.

[marsha leanne]

I dress. I love to dress. However, I have not worked out for myself what categories that I fit into. Three are times that I would identify myself as a crossdresser. But there are other times, that I would say that I am just a man that likes to wear women's clothing. The difference? I don't wear wigs, make up and the like. Does that mean that I don't take those steps because I do not completely want to be a CD? No, it's because I haven't really had the opportunity to go to that step. I see gurls pictures here and I'm jealous of how passable they are. I wish that I was.


speaking of trolls. I guess i have to plead guilty. yes i am a member, but i visit daily, read through postings, look for favorite members, and search out topics i need help with. AND, very seldom log on. I have fallen for stories and advice from someone who was banned, but once set straight, was grateful to those friends i have here and the ever vigilent moderators who keep this from becoming a free form cess pool.

Yes there are places out there that you should be very leary of, but not this one. this is one of the few places i trust on the web, and i thank the people here for keeping it that way.

I have stepped out, but not in a long time, but that does not mean i won't ever again. and, here i can assage my fears, learn my own fears, and try to understand what this is all about and how to live with it. And learn to love this wrinkle i have been given! I do love the process, the illusion, the comfort and the freedom of dressing. So i may be gullible, easily led, but i find more honesty here than anywhere else!

[Teresa]

Tammy,
You are a crossdresser simply wearing clothes of the opposite gender is the bottom line, wigs, makeup sexual preferences are how you present your CDing. GFoing out is finding yourself and where you are with you CDing needs.