I'm so lost please help.

[kaylyn]

I finally broke away from a toxic relationship that was holding me back. Now I'm ready to begin living life as the young woman I am! I am Kaylyn and I have no idea what to do. I've seen therapists and been diagnosed with gender dysphasia but I'm in the army and don't know how to continue on the right path. Please help me!

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Kaylyn, congratulations on breaking out of a toxic relationship. You made a good start by seeing a therapist, since June, openly Trans people have the right to serve in the US army and I understand that medical support will be made available through the military.

This is not an easy road to follow, but if you need to transition don't let anything stand in your way.

When you feel more able to tell us about yourself, I'm sure you will find many people here who will offer you true support (i.e. not blind cheer-leading).

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Kaylyn you are not alone..

did you have to leave your therapist because of your military service or the relationship?? both??

in any case, first step is to get back to a therapist... but this time focuse on the "what do i do about it?" part and not the diagnosis part..

[kaylyn]

I had to leave my therapist because of the army. It's just so scary! Even though it's allowed its still not accepted everywhere. But I'm gonna try and get a new therapist!!

[Marcelle]

Hi Kaylyn,

Lots of good advice here already and I echo it . . . go back to therapy as it will help to bring some order to the chaos which you are feeling. I understand your angst about coming out in the military so soon after it being sanctioned as there are going to be those who still don't agree both peers and your chain of command. I am Canadian military and while we have been allowed to serve openly since the 1990s there are still some archaic beliefs out there. Can you access a therapist on your own or do you have to go through the military? If you have to go through the military medical system, can you not ask them to exercise discretion?

It is a an uphill battle for sure and sometimes you may feel dug in on the reverse slope . . . but when you get to where you are going, it will be worth the fight.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Nicole Erin]

How long until you get out of the army? Of course if you want to start transition or at least living as a woman, do no re-up at the end of your duty.
Even if you have say like three years, it will go by fast.

In the meantime, start saving your money if you live in the barracks. it is tempting to want to go out and piss it away partying, buying a nice car, or for fancy junk at the mall or wherever but set aside some cash.

One thing you could do if you are sure of this path - start getting some electrolysis on the mustache. There needs to be a few days worth of growth and since the army won't allow you to go unshaven except the mustache, it is a place to start.