Most people don't notice!!!

[BethanyCross]

Today I went to a restaurant to pick up a pizza. I had a little black mascara on, sassy mauve lipstick, perfume, women's shorts and women's sandals. No one gave me a second glance! People really do see what they expect to see. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

[redtea]

What a coincidence, I got pizza today too wearing womens straight jeans. I felt 0.5/10 self aware, basically almost on par with drab.
I'm not gonna count this as a "adventure" since I barely felt any fear, I just did this to make future adventures easier to complete.

(Adventures being stepping out of my comfort zone to do something I desire but have lots of fears and anxieties towards)

It really is all just one big head game. The trick is to stop self evaluating yourself, once that happens you can do anything

[scarlett]

Well. now you are ready to dress that way for wife and extended family, ' cause after all, they won't notice. Right?

[sometimes_miss]

People notice. Most of them simply don't care. Consider all the 'people of Walmart' videos. Everyone sees them, they just prefer to ignore that they are there.

[Mgreenva]

I wear heels while in drab pretty regularly and a few notice but the comments have been positive. Females notice sometimes but rarely do the males

[ellbee]

How would you know if they did notice? :strugglin

[ReineD]

People notice. Most of them simply don't care. Consider all the 'people of Walmart' videos. Everyone sees them, they just prefer to ignore that they are there.

This.

They know they won't see you again (you have no impact on their lives) and they do go on with their lives, unless they later describe to their friends who they saw at the pizza place. I say this, because SAs, restaurant personel, etc, most always remember my SO and I. There is something about us they remember, even though they give no indication whatsoever they've noticed anything. And I think this is because in our society, males who dress like females still stand out.

[deebra]

ReineD that's so true, SAs in PayLess, Rack Room and Penney's surprisingly to me all remembered me, in Penney's she even remembered my shoe size. She comes over to be so friendly and helpful and I believe she tries to have a warmer relationship with me than she does with her female customers, and it's not just to sell shoes. When wearing girl boots and jeans another SA in the next department noticed what I was wearing, so I walked over to her and up close and personable and I could gage her true reaction I asked her what were her true feelings on it, she said absolutely nothing wrong with it, the boots make your feet look smaller. As I was walking in the mall I approached a woman who immediately noticed my boots but ducked he head and moved on, it appeared nobody else noticed. The answer is, "Wear what you want and ignore everyone else". Boots and jeans and some other female clothing are just that, clothes, if they fit better and you prefer them over men's it should be a no problem/ accepted by society issue.

[CarlaWestin]

People notice but they don't really care. Interesting, yesterday after work I was perusing the dress racks at a giant thrift store I discovered. I was in my uniform for work which displays my name and the property. And I was checking out dresses, holding them up to see how the length was, etc... just like other women around me. I even conversed with some of them as we compared finds. I then stood in line with seven dresses draped over my arm. Really, even obviously as male appearing as a male could be, with seven heavenly dresses being rung up, no one really seemed to care.

[ChristinaK]

I buy almost all of my wife's clothes and have done so since we've been married. We're almost the same size, so I hold things up for sizing.

Most SA's admire the fact that I buy my wife clothes. Never has any person looked funny at me for being in the ladies department and I never even thought about them thinking I'm a CDer.

That being said, once I started buying for ME in the ladies department, I was highly embarrassed and felt like everyone knew.

To this day, I would rather buy for myself en femme, but when I buy for my wife I'm perfectly comfortable in drab. Yep, I'm weird.

I truly think that in mixed mode, most people don't notice as they're busy. It's when standing in line, or people being with other people that are not engaged which notice. And, they're polite enough to not stare. I appreciate that too.

[Laurana]

As long as you're not so over the top obvious people really don't care.

[Krisi]

It's naïve to think people don't notice a man wearing makeup or obviously women's clothing and shoes. They do notice but they don't want to make an issue of it. Many will talk about you later to friends or co workers and not in a good way.

Much of this depends on what is considered "normal" in your community. There are parts of the country where people walk around with a Mohawk hair style dyed green and dozens of piercings and tattoos and nobody bats an eye. In other parts of the country, this same person would be considered a freak and would be unemployable.

There's no law against wearing women's clothes in public so if it brings you joy and doesn't negatively affect your loved ones or your career, go ahead and do it. Personally, I'm one or the other when I go out.

[ellbee]

I mentioned this here before: A few weeks ago I was standing in line at the post office, and I noticed the guy in front of me had shaved legs.

Particular athletic body & clothing, so I just sort of assumed he's some sort of triathlete or something. Was he a CD'er, too? Who knows, who cares.


I didn't say a word to him about it. Or even bat an eye, for that matter. (Nice legs, though, LOL ;) )

Yet I still noticed -- and he didn't notice me doing so.



Honestly, to be certain, I think we'd have to see a photo of exactly what you were wearing that day (and I say that rhetorically).

But depending on the particular lipstick & sandals? I'd say some would notice that.

The perfume you could possibly "get away with," as there could be a reasonable explanation for that (I've had GG's take the initiative to spray perfume on me before, as a joke, or to leave me with a reminder, of sorts -- not that I exactly complained afterwards, LOL). Heck, maybe the people around you, if they smelled it, thought it might have been a GG next to you.


Bottom line: Some people will notice things, and odds are won't make a big fuss over it or even utter a peep (at least not in front of you).

But don't automatically think you're necessarily going undetected, either. :)

[Teresa]

Bethany,
I find people notice more with the in between state, they see a guy but he's not wearing guy stuff .

A couple of instances, on one occasion I forgot to remove some lipstick when walking the dog dressed in drab, I stopped to ask some guys cutting up trees if the logs were available.They just couldn't stop looking, as I walked on they followed me in their truck to tell me I could have the wood but they just kept looking and smiling at my lipstick. On another occasion I forgot to take out the bra enhancers when I wore one under my male clothes when shopping, I didn't realise why they kept looking until I caught sight of my reflection in a shop window and I had a definite bust, most of the obvious attention came from male shoppers.

As for driving, I know some drivers have overtaken me and then slowed down to let me pass so they could get a second look, I can't say if they see me as a CDer or as a not too bad looking female driver , either way it just makes me smile .

[ReineD]

I mentioned this here before: A few weeks ago I was standing in line at the post office, and I noticed the guy in front of me had shaved legs.

This reminds me. When my youngest was 13, we saw a birth-male standing in line at the post office dressed very casually as a woman. Keep in mind that I raised my children to not judge anyone based on appearance, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Ever. My son still took me aside and whispered, "Mom, is that a man?!?" The person in line didn't hear the comment or notice that anything was amiss.

[Alice Torn]

When i lived in Washington state, I went to a certain gasor petrol station regularly, and one of the cashiers there, had fairly long hair, and gorgeious nails, but was guy, (maybe in transition, i don't know) . I never said anything about it to him, just was friendly to him. I acted like i did not notice, but i surely noticed. i think most people notice, but will not show it.

[Tracii G]

People just don't care because they don't know you. So why would they worry about what you wear?
You will stand out to some degree because you are different than anyone else in the place.

[Lana Mae]

I am not out yet, but it is mostly because of me. I have a desire to present well. Not necessarily pass as that is nearly impossible. I just want to blend in and an almost bald guy in a dress does not blend in. No insults intended to anyone. I am just speaking about me. I am waiting to get my wig and makeup before going out en femme. That will be the real challenge, suiting myself! Hugs Lana Mae

[Rachael Leigh]

Yes Bethany pretty much every time I go out it's just like when I'm out en drab

[Alice_2014_B]

I don't go out mixing as such, except one time.
One day, broad daylight, I wore my 3.5 inch chunky heel boots under some jeans.

Heels were very visible and quite noisy walking on concrete.

I just went to a local library then back home, no one noticed.

I agree that people, in general, just see what they expect to see.
Either that or they pretend not to notice.
:)

[Cheryl James]

It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but, I am reaching a point where I believe that most people are too busy with their own stuff to worry about someone else. If they happen to be noticing people around them and they see you, they might, or might not, express their shock, amusement, disgust, and/or curiosity overtly. They might not, too. They may wait until they can tell a friend and have a good laugh. I am beginning to realize that seeing me would be just a moment of their busy day. Most, probably, they do not approve, but I do not think that anyone would, actually, say anything to you. And, if they did, so what? That doesn't mean that one shouldn't be vigilant as there are fools out there.

[Stephanie47]

There are people who are oblivious to their surroundings. They can be so self absorbed in their own thoughts they get run over by Mack trucks or trains. Others are so engrossed in people watching the same things happens. Me? Personal experience has me scanning all the time to make assessments of threats. If you think I don't notice you, you're wrong. You may blend into the landscape, but, you still have been assessed. Hopefully as a non threat. I think women are more prone to make assessments of their surroundings because they are usually the victims.

I've seen one particular very tall cross dresser in my fair city twice over the years. Five inch heels, short-shorts, stands out like a sore thumb....intentionally. Nobody stared. Nobody cared. But every one glanced and processed the visual and determined no threat.

After I or anyone else has finished processing the visual, what am I suppose to do? What's the protocol? Funny thing..today I passed a young women twice. We remembered each other and both times we said a cordial hello, but, the second time it was "hey, we meet again!" Due to where and the facts and circumstances we both processed no threat.

Anyway, what would you want a person to do when he or she encounters a cross dresser. a transman or woman, a gay man or a lesbian?

[Krisi]

My wife and I have a friend who recently retired from being an emergency room nurse. Often, the conversation would turn to her patients. She would talk about the ones that came in with painted toenails or pink panties (males, of course). She apparently had a regular who was a transsexual and she talked about him. No names of course.

People notice and people talk. That's a fact. Just read threads here. "I was walking through he mall and I saw a ....................."

Read this: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?243620-Trans-encounter