Pass VS Blend, what is difference?

[Ashley090]

Hey girls, I am wondering what exact difference is between terms "pass"and "blend in". Here on forum and on many other websites is used as two different things but I am not sure if its right. I am guessing if someone try to pass, that mean you can look at that her, talk to her and you will be conviced that she is gg no matter what. What's blend in then? I hope someone can explain, thanks :)

Ash ;)

[josrphine]

Hi Ashley, I blend in as in most times that I am with a GG that I don't know or just bump into say for small talk I usually have to explane that I am a man . I have been a C D for many years,and since I met mt wife I have been out more 75% of the time. Pass i thing means you look reel good and still show a little male. Just my thoughts. Jo

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno. With 50 different people you will get 50 different definitions. I never try to do either myself, just be myself. If you "pass" the thought is that those observing you may be convinced you are a woman. When you "blend" they don't conclude you are a woman but there is nothing obvious to conclude you are a man. I don't fret over it in any case. :)

[Connie D50]

I think Kate says it the best.
When you "blend" they don't conclude you are a woman but there is nothing obvious to conclude you are a man.

I also use the word Blend to say I'm not going to wear a evening gown to the mall to shop.

[AlyssaJ]

As Kate said, you're going to get a lot of different answers as everyone puts their own spin on it. To me, blend means just that, to blend in. You don't stand out, you're not noticeable in a crowd. However, when you have to interact directly with people it's still clear that you're a male in traditionally female clothing. Passing on the other hand is the next step. You look, sound and act so convincing that people you interact with have no idea that you've got that extra package under your skirt. This takes far more work (and often time surgeries) unless you're just naturally gifted with a feminine male body. I think the goal for most of us is simply to blend although some may speak in terms of passing.

[Lily Catherine]

To me, passing seems to be the elusive Holy Grail: to be mistaken for 100% of the opposite gender without a shred of doubt. Blending, on the other, simply means that you don't draw any unwanted attention to yourself, that you fit in nicely with the surroundings. I think passing connotes a certain degree of recognition that is otherwise absent in 'blending'.

The general concept almost seems to be one of camouflage, although one wonders if the wearer of a ghillie suit wants to be mistaken for a natural feature, or to have their presence undetected amidst the surroundings.

[Krisi]

You can use your own definition. Or, pick one of ours.

I would say that "passing" means everyone you interact with believes they are interacting with a female. That would include things like ordering a meal in a restaurant or having guys flirt with you and buy you drinks in a bar. It's very unlikely to happen for most of us.

"Blending" is more like walking down the street or through the shopping mall, not interacting with people for more than a few seconds and most people believe you are a female even though a close up study might reveal that you are not.

[Melissa Rose]

I am not a fan of the term "passing" when used as the solitary descriptor. I use three terms that provide more refinement and definition - passing, blending and presenting.

"Passing" is not getting read with a quick glance. It is the short time (i.e., lack of attention) and distance that makes passing possible. A minimum standard was met which is another way of saying you were not obviously a man dressed as a woman upon a quick look and some distance.

"Blending" is the next stage which is not getting read upon longer observation and with moderate proximity. This would be like observing someone two or three tables away at a restaurant for a few minutes. It is secondary clues such as some physical features, overt mannerisms and sometimes attire that makes a CD fail to blend in. It is a lack of convincing blending that gets most CDs thoroughly read upon observation. Only a few CDs I know blend in well enough not to get read or, at a minimum, quickly arouse suspicion or doubts. A few cis-women get erroneously dropped into this category so it is not a terrible place to reside.

"Presenting" is the final and most difficult stage. This is where there is close proximity and personal interaction with others in mainstream venues and events on a repeated or on-going basis (e.g., on a job, hanging out with others). Secondary clues become even more scrutinized and important. Vocal patterns, thought processes, behavioral patterns, less obvious mannerisms, and other very refined details are all part of presenting. Successfully and consistently presenting as a woman is rare for a part-time CD and many post-op TSs I know also have difficulty or totally fail at presenting.

Passing, blending and presenting is based on my opinion and observations over the past years. It is my way of breaking down "passing" into more discrete and defined parts. Presenting as a woman is way more than dressing as one (i.e., looking like). It is way more than wearing the clothes, shoes and makeup or walking a certain way.

[dolovewell]

For me passing is when you can interact with someone for more than a few seconds and they will read you as a woman and not a man. It's pretty hard, probably impossible to pass as a crossdresser. Taking photos at the right angle and lighting and putting the right filters/post-editing on them you might be able to pass in photos, but its different in real life

Blending in is when you present yourself well enough to where you will be read as a woman by people who just give you a glance or see you in their peripheral vision or pass you by without looking at you for more than a few seconds. As long as you do a good enough job, dress appropriately for the occasion and wear good fitting clothes, apply makeup properly, use the right posture and gestures and manneurisms, you should be able to blend in. If you do anything that will make you stand out and draw attention to yourself, you are hurting your chances of blending in.

For me I think I probably blend in for the most part when I go out, but I do not pass. Just try to act normally and not draw attention to yourself. I remember I would always try to put myself in a situation where people could not size me up and look at me for more than a few seconds, so I would always be looking nervous and like I was trying to avoid people or was in a hurry. This probably just drew more attention to me. Walk normally at a normal speed, and if people get a good look at you, so be it. Trust me, not many people will. I remember going out on Black Friday one time into a crowded mall dressed up. There were hundreds of people there and out of those hundreds, how many got a good look in at me? Not many.

[Eryn]

For me, there is little to worry about. I'm going to present this way. I have for years. Everybody treats me as I present, so I'm happy.

[Jodi]

As I've said before, none of us pass. It's very possible to be presentable in a situation and blend in well. I call it-- putting enough doubt in the observer's mind that he/she is not sure.

jodi

[mykell]

i think one would have to rethink the definition of passing, at my ripe old age not a chance, now if one does a search on the net glory be there are some convincing folks out there, young and old and with some YouTube video's i have watched some pass 100% including the voice, so its not genetics, its time, effort, sometimes financial commitment to creating the illusion and yes some have a natural canvas to start off with,

for the most part for us creating doubt is good enough....and after i posted i saw this :
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/attractive-stand-ugly-friend-article-1.2815616

[Ressie]

Good question, good thread with good answers. I guess if one can truly pass, they don't have to blend. How about not blending at all, wearing an outfit that doesn't fit the occasion, but still passing… hey, it's a worthy goal ;)

[Rachael Leigh]

As has been said on other threads many times most of those of us do not truly pass, yes some are blessed with features that if the makeup and hair look right they may pass for a time but once they interact it becomes clear they are not a GG.
Blending for me is wearing clothes that blend with what most women are wearing in my age group. The neat thing about that is there are lots of clothing choices to do that. So for me I try and blend since I know I do not pass closeup but at a
distance I can be recognized as a women even if just briefly especially since I'm 6"2 I know I get looks as a tall woman.

[Teresa]

Ash,
You will get some people that will think you are female others will read you straight away, all you can do is try your best , dress nicely and just go out and be yourself it's then up to others how they wish to see you. Some may think you pass and others will think you blend well enough to be treated like a normal person and not a weirdo.
I go out as Teresa , I smile most of the time and happily talk to anyone in my own voice most people are comfortable with that.

[ellbee]

Maybe I've been wrong, but I always thought of blending as the ability to not really be noticed with a quick passing glance, i.e., the other person doesn't see anything out of the ordinary in a scenario where their lives intersect for literally only a few seconds, at most.

Meanwhile, I've considered passing to be anything more or less above & beyond that. Whether a hetero guy (non-"admirer") has been checking you out for a while, or you actually get hit on, or you hold a 5-minute conversation with a stranger because you've got a decent fem voice & mannerisms, etc. -- any of which has them genuinely believing you're a GG before, during & afterwards.


Things can get tricky sometimes, though. How do you always know for sure what exactly is going on inside the other person's head? Are they simply trying to figure you out? Do they think maybe you're a TS on hormones & your boobs are real and/or have had bottom surgery? Etc. Sometimes they might know, but simply not bring it up, or not even hint at anything whatsoever.


Oh, for those who think passing is impossible for 99.9999999% out there, you might want to reconsider. Heck, even *I've* been fooled IRL before -- you'd think I'd have a better eye for this, considering.

[AllieSF]

Melissa Rose: That is an interesting theory/definition. I would actually just reverse it so that when we dress up completely with wig, makeup clothes, etc., we are presenting as a woman. When we hardly get noticed at first glance, we are blending into the surrounding human beings, male and female. When we pass in the true sense, no one has any idea of what our true roots are, even after talking with us for awhile. I have only passed a few times, needing to prove my "maleness" after showing my drivers license for a purchase. I do blend in quite well.

[Jenniferathome]

I second Allie's version.

[barbara gordon]

I would say that" blending" and "passing" are about the same thing . Either word indicates the state or the feeling of being confident and believable as the gendered role or character you are trying to present as .
"blending " might be a little bit more developed or advanced
than "passing".
There are a lot of good points stated above . the best for me are that<each person might have different perspective >, and also that <you shouldn't wear a ball gown to go to the mall.> .

Its a good goal to be able to enter into a crowded place and not be so quickly read as " man in a dress" . You can pull that off with clothing that is accurate to your age and also accurate for environment that you will be in if you are going out.

[Ceera]

My personal opinion;

"Passing" is presenting well enough that people you talk to and interact with extensively don't realize you're not your presentation gender unless you admit it to them. But it also encompasses achieving a point in your presentation where if they do have internal questions about your birth gender versus how you appear, or even if they have seen your ID that clearly says your birth gender differs from what they see you presenting as and they KNOW you're not the presentation gender, they are polite enough to accept that you want to be treated as the gender you're presenting as, and have no problem with you, even if you're going into a women's bathroom or dressing room or in some other 'women-only' environment. They are comfortable with not 'calling you out'. This can also include presenting well enough that the others you interact with have sufficient 'reasonable doubt' as to your birth gender matching your presentation or not that they are unwilling to openly 'accuse' you of not being what you appear to be. Some women do have wide shoulders, or big hands, or are very tall, etc. A number of the 'tells' that we know can out us also exist quite naturally in people born as the gender we wish to be perceived as, so 'perfection' isn't necessarily needed to 'pass'. A confident attitude can have a LOT to do with passing. If you act like you should be treated as the gender you present as, you often will be, despite anyone's doubts. If you are certain no one could believe that you're a match for your presentation, that lack of confidence can poison your effort and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Other people here will adamantly insist that short of being genetically gifted with a body and face and voice that is already very close to your desired presentation gender, no one can really "Pass". Those people take a much more strict interpretation of the term, which excludes those where others interacting with them may know but accept, or may suspect but don't openly question. People who subscribe to this more limited definition will say anything short of perfection is 'merely blending'.

"Blending", on the other hand, and in my opinion, means you can only pass well enough, or are only trying to such an extent, that someone who is NOT interacting with you in a purposeful manner doesn't have any reason to notice that your birth gender and presentation differ. Most of the people we see in life we don't really pay attention to, unless we need to interact with them, or unless something about them catches our attention. For example, a CD whose voice would out them in a heartbeat as soon as they talk, or who has other physical features that could clearly out them, might still walk through a crowded supermarket or store or other public place and have no one notice them, because visually and behaviorally they don't present anything that is severely amiss. Their clothing is suitable for the venue, as are their actions. But someone who is 'only blending' will probably be outed as soon as anyone takes a critical look at them or interacts with them. Results may vary at that point, from still being accepted, but being openly 'mis-gendered', to outright hostility. Most often, someone who is 'only trying to blend' may get startled reactions when they speak or when someone near them suddenly realizes that they are not what they first thought they were.

As far as my personal experience goes, when I put some effort into it I feel I pass pretty well. as I defined my version of passing, above. GG's chat with me as if I was one of them, and are happy to include me in 'all girl activities'. Even the ones that know I was born male accept me to a degree that they are perfectly fine with me being 'one of the girls' in their group. I was even invited to attend a week-long 'resort takeover' in Texas recently, where an all-women group was reserving a whole resort for a week of vacation time in an all-women environment. The coordinators knew me well, and know my birth gender, but would have had no issues at all with me joining their event.

In the other hand, I've certainly had moments where my presentation was seen through, and where someone who had otherwise been treating me as if I was passing would make an of-hand remark about me being TG, or would use male pronouns to refer to me. My presentation is not perfect, and I know that. It's disappointing to me to have that happen, but I roll with it and merely ask that they use the female pronouns for me and resume treating me like a woman. I won't ever lie to anyone who asks outright if I am genetically female. But if they don't ask, and if there is no reason to suspect they have an intimate interest in me, I don't tell.

[Ashley090]

Nice opinions here! :) I must agree that passing is something like Holy Grail of CDs. And most probably end with blend in, in terms not being read right away. I know that many of out there dont try to pass or blend or anything else, they just go out there and thats it :) And as it goes for me, i set myself goal to stop lurking home and went outside one day. And I am not passable like never xD lucky to blend whatever it means :) Now maybe someone ask why I think about blend in, why not just enjoy clothing? I would like to get full experiance of my femme side, be Ash on 100%.

That nicely come to question: "Why even try to blend/pass/present (or whatever term you want use) in the first place?" Lets hear you :)

[franlee]

Blending is the when one can get out or move about without being the object of attention. That would call for dressing and acting similar to the surrounding people. And as far as passing it is when you can go into any situation and present as what ever you want without being identified otherwise. In other words with few exceptions, a dream.

[Teresa]

Ash,
Just to add another word in the mix here, someone who had seen my pictures and passed the message on to a friend made the comment that I looked "convincing".

How that equates to passing or blending is difficult to say. We got into a conversation about Cders using extra padding in their thighs and rear end, she just laughed and said most women don't want to carry all that extra around with them but don't have a choice and she added that she wished she had my figure and legs .

Laura,
You do raise a good point about people not knowing where we are on the gender road and it's point I raised after my first social evening , as we don't know who are TG or TS we all treat each other the same way. The divide on the forum is sometimes too unfriendly, it shouldn't really matter where we are on that road we should consider that some of us are still unsure but there are so many factors it's hard to make a balanced decision .

[MonctonGirl]

That's a good question.

For me, I've found more confidence and ability to PASS when I am in a crowd with many people where I can BLEND IN rather than be a point of attention which provides opportunity to be observed closely and MADE.

[Ceera]

That nicely come to question: "Why even try to blend/pass/present (or whatever term you want use) in the first place?" Lets hear you :)
When I go out in public as a woman, I want to enjoy being seen, appreciated and treated like a woman. I want, in as much as is possible short of being reincarnated, to be the woman that the feminine part of my mind feels she should be. I want to enjoy myself as if my chromosomes fully matched the feminine part of my mind. So I do my best to present well and to behave and speak as if I was born female. Having rather late in life accepted my "inner girl" as a valid part of me, "she" feels she has some catching up to do when it comes to enjoying life as a woman. She can't do that if people address her as sir and expect her to use the men's bathroom and changing rooms.

I am not "into it" just for the clothes, or for kinks, nor do I wish to be percieved as "that man in a dress". When I am not presenting my female aspect, I may, and often do, choose to still wear women's clothes, simply because they feel more comfortable for me. But in that case I choose items that are not obviously feminine. I would not wear a skirt or a feminine blouse or excessively feminine earrings or high heeled women's shoes when I don't have breasts and feminine hair. My guy side may disregard certain gender role norms, such as choosing to have pretty nails. People may assume I am gay or bi. But there is no doubt in anyone's mind when meeting me in male mode that I am male.

Other people may be perfectly happy being an obvious male who wears dresses in public, and that is fine with me. But it is not who I am.

[dolovewell]

Ceera that is good post. I agree. I don't mind being seen out in public dressed as a woman. Otherwise why go out at all?

I just don't want to be a spectacle and an object of fixation for people to where I am no different from a carnival sideshow. Which is why I want to blend in.

Positive attention is fine for me, as long as it is genuine and not done out of pity or sympathy. It's like a time I went into Payless, and the SA, while super nice, was almost too nice. As if she was being extra nice to me on purpose to try and make me feel better about being out and about as a CD in public and to appear "supportive". While I appreciated it and would rather get positive attention than negative, I'd rather not have gotten any attention from her at all. It made me feel like a spectacle and a freak. Just treat me like you would any other woman.

I also agree on men who go out presenting male in public but wearing women's clothes. I know there are people on this board who do that. But its not me. It's all or nothing.

[Stephanie47]

Passing is when you're in a car wreck and your nearly dead ass is hauled to an emergency room and discover you're not a woman when they cut your clothes off your body. Blending when nobody gives you a second look when your out and about.

[Alice_2014_B]

Quite a bit of responses and feedback here.
Though I don't have any real input per the subject, I'm enjoying reading thru it.
:)

[JaytoJillian]

pretty simple--blending is the act of going out and drawing no attention whatsoever.

"passing" is another level of blending--but add in interactions in which one is accepted as/assumed to be a genetic woman

[Ashley090]

I think we kind did sort it out what is what :) now i know that maximum i can achive when i got courage and go out, is to blend in. No way in hell i can pass :D
And my two cents on why i even wanna blend. Simply ahort answer (for ppl who dont wanna read my lenghty posts :D ) is not big acceptance in my country. Lenghty answer, ppl here or most of them do not accept anyone that stands out a little bit, idk why. Be guy and do somwthing a little bit girlish or wear something more feminine and you ll be pointed about, labeled as weirdo, pervert, gay (in insulting way) and many not nice words you would hear. And if you got read completly and your true identity comes out then hell stars. Forever. I cant get out as guy in dress so if i plan on go out i must blend in firts place to ensure little bit of privaci and safety.
And litlle bit better reason is, to let that girl inside expres herself fully and enjoy herself :) I realy must keep her at bay these days otherwise she will run outside right away :D

[mechamoose]

I think 'blend' is the upgrade of 'pass'.

Pass means you pull it off well, Blend means that it isn't even a question.

For those of us who really are in the wrong body, that is the holy grail.

Which isn't me.. I'm an elephant hiding behind a tree }:>

For those of you who *can* do this, I'm SUPER jealous.

- Kitty / Moose

[Sarasometimes]

I aim to blend because I define that as less than fully passable. I don't want the man in a dress response from others nor do I think I could pass muster up close or after speaking even in my most feminine voice.

For me passing is presenting as a female so well that teen girls are fooled!

I truly blended at least once, I was in a salon under a dryer sitting across from another client and my stylist later told me that client mentioned that she had NO idea I was a male until she heard me speak. It was shared in the spirit of a compliment.

[IleneD]

I love the concept of BLENDING, and by that I mean wearing my femme wear in ensemble with standard male clothing.
I dare say that most CDs started by Underdressing, or wearing panties or a bra under their boy clothes which could be considered a form of blending.

The reason for 'coming out' was to lose the shame. I was tired of constantly explaining why I enjoyed adorning my head in floral scarves, and myself in flowing cloth. I'm a fan of mixing or blending because it gives me get that jazzed up girly feeling every day, upon demand; and without going to the entire process of preparing. I save my full dressing (a good thing) for a date, special event or an evening at home. It takes a bit of work for me, personally, to prep to the extent of a good full dress-up.

I wear panties almost exclusively. First, they feel great, and the ones I have fit better than any male briefs I have. I keep a few male briefs around in case of emergency, but I don't recall the last time I wore a pair. But who doesn't love the feel, and sometimes the look, of panties and jeans or a pair of leggings?.

Leggings are a great male & female garment; though most see more femme in them. I bike for recreation and exercise. Even before the weather cools completely, I live in my leggings. If I pair them with a long tail shirt, or a nice top I have no problem walking about the house in the evening or going out in public The SO has gone out shopping with me in leggings. PS: I don't just have black or solid colors. Dare to wear. Leggings are great.

HEADSCARVES are another thing I love and regularly wear with male outfits. They're very versatile and can come on/off in an instant depending on who you may be visiting in The World, or the shoppe you enter. I wear one outside many a time. I bought several patterned, silky, oversized (36x36) scarves that I can tie around my head in a variety of cute styles. And it looks great with earrings. The SO and I love putting the top down on the convertible, don fancy headscarves and drive around the city.

The best BLEND item was getting my ears pierced. Did it a few weeks after The Talk and Coming Out. I love my pierced ears. I wear earrings all the time, with all clothing; usually gold hoops but I will go ornate at times.

I wear a bra under male wear once in a while. It feels great and actually performs a useful function. It keeps me a little warmer on cold days, and during my recent 250 mile bike trip, my sports bra literally saved my nipples from disaster (jersey rubbing). I'm careful about where and when I wear a bra without a dress, and normally do so under shirts heavy enough to hide the backstrap. But frankly, I'm getting to the point of "who cares", and have worn a bra under golf shirts.

FOR EXAMPLE [Blending]: Today, the SO and I went for lunch and shopping. The weather cooled greatly today. I wore panties and a bra under a light flannel shirt with jeans [tight but not skinny]. I wore my high heel cowboy boots that feel remarkably like my 3" pumps. I owe my mastery of high heels to learning to walk in Texan cowboy boots (which can be a cool femme fashion accessory too). So I got that 'high heel' feel. I took my black leather waistcoat and an American flag neck scarf, and topped it off with my long red bandana and medium gold ear hoops. I wear A LOT of femme wear in-cognito, so to speak; trying to achieve a cool, functional, colorful and slightly edge-y on the feminine side look that doesn't take a lot of work (and makeup).


I say "Let your girly flag fly'. (And don't get me wrong. There IS no substitute for getting fully dressed up). Part of exploring is the spirit journey. Enjoy that journey every day.