What Is She Thinking????

[deebra]

Let's say walking through the mall, in a grocery store or WalMart when a woman looks up and sees a crossdresser what do you think goes through the "average" woman's mind? The CD could have just one or two pieces of female clothing on that she notices or more and presenting andro or fully dressed and presenting very attractively as a woman. When the "average" woman goes in Payless or DSW and see's a man trying on women's shoes or boots what does she think? This is 2016 and a lot of attitudes have changed along with styles and clothing. Here are some of the things she might be thinking or your comments.
1/ acceptance, no big deal, anything goes today; it looks better than a man with his pants below his butt.
2/ discuss
3/ I like the look, he's neat, clean and presenting very well; some women's clothes fit a man's body better than men's; women do it, why not men?
4/ Men are finally realizing that women are smarter than men, now they are trying to copy us by dressing like us.

This is just a fun question, we all know we don't know another person's mind but keep in mind this is 2016; so don't become a lawyer and trash the thread. Responders that are wearing something feminine will probably have better answers (just kidding).

Deebra

[JenniferMBlack]

Being it is 2016 and opinions and attitudes have changed it still depends on the woman. The easiest way to find out is to interact with them. I think she is thinking along these lines from my experience.
1 that's cool he is doing what he wants
2 why would a guy want to do that what's wrong with him
3 whatever he isn't hurting or bothering anyone who cared.
4 he has good tastes in clothes
5 what the hell is he wearing no girl would dress like that.
6 for the clueless hehe shoes.lol
Since it is for fun and you don't know another's mind. But I have had responses like a few of these.

[Krisi]

" a woman looks up and sees a crossdresser what do you think goes through the "average" woman's mind?"

The average woman will think he is gay. It doesn't matter if it's 2016 or 1916. The word used might be different but the though would be the same. The average man thinks the same thing.

[Leslie Langford]

Let me turn this question around...

I am walking through Walmart or the grocery store and I see a GG adorned with tattoos, piercings and purple spiked hair, wearing flip-flops, baggy jogging pants and a loose-fitting hoodie to hide all the excess weight that she is carrying from living on a steady diet of junk food.

Are my thoughts as follows (paraphrasing deebra's questions)?:

1/ acceptance, no big deal, anything goes today; it looks better than a man with his pants below his butt.
2/ discuss
3/ I like the look, she's neat, clean and presenting very well; some shapeless, baggy casual clothes fit a "curvy" woman's body better than others; most men dress sloppy these days, so why not women?
4/ Women are finally realizing that they are just as smart and can act just as entitled as men, and have every right to lower their standards of dress by trying to copy the types of clothes we typically wear. Comfort rules!

Point being - if women these days don't give a hoot about how they present themselves compared to times past - and woe to anybody who tries to "shame" them for being who they are, what they look like, and expressing their true inner selves - I'll be darned if I let them judge me in turn for the way I present myself in public when out en femme.

I wear "traditional" women's' clothes (skirts, dresses, hose, heels etc.) when out and about because that happens to work for me, and if some of them want to judge me for that (and maybe on some level even resent the fact that I might be showing them up and raising the bar for them in the process), then so be it - their problem, not mine.

[Lana Mae]

I agree with Krisi or they might think "There is a man who wants to be a woman!" Some women are cool about it but not many and they tend to be younger women. Hugs Lana Mae

[Laurana]

What do I care what they are thinking? Unless they come out and say something I'll never know.

[Kate Simmons]

Only one way to know for sure really---ask! Contrary to what many of us may think, women don't go around looking for guys who may be CDers. :)

[Lily Catherine]

2016 or not, I'm quite sure there will be at least some responses along the lines of "Is he gay/trans?" (with the negative connotations that it doesn't deserve, but nonetheless carries) at least in the foreseeable future. Worse still, "Is he a fetishist?" might also crop up especially when it comes to overtly feminine footwear - especially those with implied sexual connotations.

The ideal response would be "meh, whatever", as though the man in question was never in the spotlight to begin with. An individual is often at the centre of their own world; it also follows that if one does something atypical by the global observer's standards, it is likely that they will be more conscious about it.

[AlyssaJ]

I agree with many of the above but one I've heard first hand that I don't see "Gawd now they're stealing our clothes too."

[Gwyneth]

Another thought. It might be a 30something never married thinking "now I've got that for competition!" And if the CD is gay, she doesn't stand a chance. Then again its 2016. Might be dressed quite cute and get hit on by a lesbian! Boy would she be disappointed.

[Jenniferathome]

Guynbart, what the what?!?

You think a woman could look at a cross dresser and think this is "competition" to her for available males? NEVER is when a woman will think that. A straight woman is not competing for gay males.

[Gwyneth]

I'm just saying, there are 6 million more women in this country than men. That many won't find anyone if they are looking. And I would be surprised to find there are that many lesbians. So if I were a woman doing the math, disqualify all the gays and most of the CD's.

[ellbee]

I'm dressing it kind of butch right now, for a reason... But visible to the public? Women's bootcut jeans (tight in the butt & thighs), women's running shoes (the turquoise parts & bit of lime green give them away), and a guy t-shirt. Padded sports bra isn't really noticeable, even to me.


Earlier today I had to toss some trash in my building's dumpster.

Surprise! The cleaning lady, probably in her 20's, is heading the opposite direction in the hallway. We smile & say hi.


As I was coming back in, she again is heading the opposite direction. We smile & she even holds the door open for me. (Yes, of course I said thanks!)


Lo & behold, right in front of my door is the other cleaning lady, maybe in her 40's, vacuuming the hallway carpet. Smile, hi, how are you? Blah blah.


Did either or both notice? Probably. Who knows, who cares. Maybe the younger one thought I had on pretty cute sneakers? :strugglin

[Tracii G]

Guynbart FYI honey it doesn't work that way.
Its pretty safe to say never is a straight female looking for a straight male going to be in competition with a gay man that likes to dress up.

[AlyssaJ]

You think a woman could look at a cross dresser and think this is "competition" to her for available males? NEVER is when a woman will think that. A straight woman is not competing for gay males.

Actually I don't think Guynbart is that far off. While she may not be competing with a CD to attract gay males, she is competing with a CD for attention. I can tell you from conversations with my wife that this is one of her concerns with going out with me while dressed. If I get more attention from men or women around us, then I've "stolen her thunder". So maybe not competing to get a date, but there is still competition there. Just ask a woman if they feel like they compete with each other in how they dress when they go out, whether or not they're trying to pickup guys, and I'll bet 99% of them will answer in the affirmative.

[Gwyneth]

Guynbart FYI honey it doesn't work that way.
Its pretty safe to say never is a straight female looking for a straight male going to be in competition with a gay man that likes to dress up.

You are confused. A straight woman will look at a CD and think that she's never going to do everything the CD will do to please her man. And that means maybe 2 or 3 more guys are out of her reach.

[Eryn]

I think that the average woman at DSW is thinking "That's a pretty shoe. I wonder if I can find my size and if it will be comfortable?"

[Jenniferathome]

You are confused. A straight woman will look at a CD and think that she's never going to do everything the CD will do to please her man. And that means maybe 2 or 3 more guys are out of her reach.

So you DO think straight women are competing for gay men. Because, a cross dresser (MtF) is a MAN. You do understand what "straight" means, right?

[Lorileah]

"I have to pick up the kids at 3:30. What should we have for dinner? I forgot I needed to stop at the drug store. The utility bill is due Wednesday. Nice skirt. There's a sale at Macy's. Did I lock the door? I probably did because it's a habit. Bob's boss is a jerk. I can't believe Sally is dating that 40 year old. That was a nice skirt" If you honestly think most women even notice you, you might be a a narcissist or you need to rethink what you're wearing. Women aren't on the prowl for potential mates. Teens might be. Women have far more on their plates and unless you are in a social setting dating someone at the mall is low on the radar

[Jenniferathome]

Actually I don't think Guynbart is that far off. While she may not be competing with a CD to attract gay males, she is competing with a CD for attention. I can tell you from conversations with my wife that this is one of her concerns with going out with me while dressed.... and I'll bet 99% of them will answer in the affirmative.

First, Guynbart IS that far off. Like "off the deep end" off.

Secondly, have you considered that your wife is just being kind to you and is not actually concerned in any way? This notion of women competing with other women is no different than saying women are bad drivers. It's folklore passed along by men and cross dressers.

[Gwyneth]

Again, just what I "think" they would think. Not all CD's are readily noticeable. But if I were a nice looking 30something woman never married and saw a CD that looked equally good, I would see it as a threat. And yes straight women are in competition with gay men. For MEN! There are a lot of straight men that are falling for gay men. Especially if they already look like hot women. If I know there are more women than men, I'm sure they know. And I would think that one gay CD could keep at least a couple of men very satisfied beyond what women generally are willing to do. Possibly more.

[Jenniferathome]

<tap, tap, tap> Is this thing on? Hello? Ok. You see Guynbart, a woman is not concerned about what is or is not pleasing to a gay man and a straight man is not interested in what a gay man may or may not be willing to do. A gay cross dresser is NOT competing with ANY woman.

------- I'm spent.

[ellbee]

Where do the bi CD's fit in all this? :strugglin

[Teresa]

Deebra,
You say it's a fun question but It's something that does cross my mind after I've shopped and talked to people about my CDing. OK I dress in drab when I shop but have been seen numerous times trying on heels. Most SAs are trained to deal with the TG community but possibly never think they are going to meet one , I personally feel they are more intrigued than anything possibly wondering exactly what makes us tick. I would think many women possibly think why does he do it before attaching the gay label, although we get the transition question from our partners I don't think it comes immediately to mind when they do see us.

The easiest way is go out and ask, next time I meet some of the SAs I've become friendly with I will ask them what their thoughts are. Usually they assume I'm married because they ask about the situation with my wife, so maybe they don't always think we are all gay. They would obviously think that if I acted camp but I don't , I know that's the media stereotype .

As for you list
1) Yes I've had acceptance and some very nice compliments.
2) I've had some very interesting discussions with GG friends and SAs.
3) Yes I do keep myself neat and tidy in male mode, I don't want to come over as a seedy old man, I'm glad to say that hasn't happened yet.
4) I dress to satisfy an inner need and not to copy anyone, some female clothes aren't that practical but aren't they fun to wear.

What people think shouldn't bother us but no human enjoys being treated badly and hurt, we shouldn't have to suffer for something we can't basically change, but then other people have their own set of problems and just want to hurt others through their own suffering.

[Gwyneth]

Where do the bi CD's fit in all this? :strugglin

Maybe with me!

- - - Updated - - -


<tap, tap, tap> Is this thing on? Hello? Ok. You see Guynbart, a woman is not concerned about what is or is not pleasing to a gay man and a straight man is not interested in what a gay man may or may not be willing to do. A gay cross dresser is NOT competing with ANY woman.

------- I'm spent.

Well I see our problem. We are about 3000 miles apart. Figuratively and literally. In the south most women are getting desperate if they aren't married by 25. Most want all their children by then. And the guys aren't in nearly that much of a hurry. There really aren't many gay men per capita, but enough to create more problems for the girls. Add to that CD's that might be just wanting a fling.

And what do I know. I'm very surprised to see the happily married CDs here. I don't get it, but that's just me. Remember I'm very new.

[Josie]

In this age of right wing fear and hate I sense some reasonable, accepting people have shifted toward the intolerant. I couldn't begin to imagine whats in someone else's mind, but I'm always ready for a negative reply

[Gwyneth]

"I have to pick up the kids at 3:30. What should we have for dinner? I forgot I needed to stop at the drug store. The utility bill is due Wednesday. Nice skirt. There's a sale at Macy's. Did I lock the door? I probably did because it's a habit. Bob's boss is a jerk. I can't believe Sally is dating that 40 year old. That was a nice skirt" If you honestly think most women even notice you, you might be a a narcissist or you need to rethink what you're wearing. Women aren't on the prowl for potential mates. Teens might be. Women have far more on their plates and unless you are in a social setting dating someone at the mall is low on the radar

Its just another "what if".

[Tracii G]

Being part of the gay community I just don't see straight women going after gay guys as a love interest.
Sure straight women tend to not mind hanging out with gay men as friends but how many of those are CD's?
The amount of gay men that CD is actually pretty low because most CD's a straight married males.
Most gay men I know don't go for CD's they would rather the guy dresses like a guy.
I know this from experience.
Where are you coming up with this theory?

[Lorileah]

But if I were a nice looking 30something woman never married and saw a CD that looked equally good, I would see it as a threat. Let's flip that shall we? You're a 30 something never married guy and you see a lesbian (assuming there was maybe a name tag that said "Hi I'm Tiffany and I like women" because how else would you know for sure?) are you threatened? Do you honestly think gay men and women are going to steal your straight woman?
And yes straight women are in competition with gay men. For MEN! Because... there are a limited quantity of men so that even gay men want your straight males? That wouldn't be fun at all. I mean, straight guys don't really want what gay guys have to offer. Well except interior design work. After that....what?
There are a lot of straight men that are falling for gay men. Especially if they already look like hot women. :facepalm: Let's go out sometime. You and me. My world. I am an above average looking woman who can't get a date because...who I used to be...gay OR straight. Honey, you can't turn a straight guy gay or vice versa. I know I know "we" have an agenda and this year I have only flipped 10% of my quota. At least that's what I hear. As far as competition goes, women my age would rather not . If you have to work that hard, it isn't worth it
And I would think that one gay CD could keep at least a couple of men very satisfied beyond what women generally are willing to do. Possibly more. So....TGs are sex toys? Concubines? It's nice to know that on the hierarchy of sexual satisfactions, "we" are better than women. I can add that to my dating profile. What am I supposed to be willing to do? I have never had a woman fear me. I haven't had a woman fear I would take their man.


Now all the "gay" CDs here raise your hand. Never mind you're too busy keeping several men satisfied (note the vast majority of CDs are straight). Really, you need to go out with a TG...to a straight bar (see how many single men would date you). and a gay bar (see how many gay would even consider you). You reduce attraction to base sex and marriage and I assume reproduction (which TGs are really really bad at)

[Tracii G]

I will interject something here that I am seeing in Mr Barts argument.
It seems CDing is all about sex and stealing potential partners from others and turning straight men gay.

[ellbee]

Most gay men I know don't go for CD's they would rather the guy dresses like a guy.
I know this from experience.

I'll second this, also from experience. (Though somehow I was still able to convince him to let me stay en femme all those times. :laughing: )


Anyway, I will say there are some gay men out there who look at it as a "fun challenge" to try to hook up with straight guys. Twisted & cruel, but I've also found that to be real-life truth.


As for the bi non-CD guys? Who would they prefer to be with at any given time, if given a choice: a GG, a non-CD male, or a CD? Beats me, but I could see a pretty strong case for that last one.


Anyway, can we get back on-topic, please? :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra:hugs:, It could depend on the woman's age...:daydreaming:...

[Jenniferathome]

I will interject something here that I am seeing in Mr Barts argument.
It seems CDing is all about sex and stealing potential partners from others and turning straight men gay.

Yes, it makes it easier on himself if all other cross dressers are "like" him. Classic projection. Psych 101

[Gwyneth]

I didn't mean to make anyone mad. And no I probably don't know what I'm talking about. But yes if there were 6 million more women in this country and I'm unmarried wanting to married, I would see 2 lesbians together as further reducing my chances. I never said that a straight woman would go after a gay CD, just see her chances dwindle.

I'll bow out now. Again the OP is just wondering what they're thinking.

[sometimes_miss]

Point being - if women these days don't give a hoot about how they present themselves compared to times past - and woe to anybody who tries to "shame" them for being who they are, what they look like, and expressing their true inner selves - I'll be darned if I let them judge me in turn for the way I present myself in public when out en femme.

I don't think that's it at all. We're simply in another stage of the woman's 'equality' movement, where girls are being told they can demand to be treated the same way as men are. Problem is, those who are doing the instructing forgot to adjust the DNA of the males to adjust to this new type of female that refuses to comply with the pressures to be what is traditionally attractive to males. Men are still primarily attracted to visual clues, and girls who ignore that will have fewer males interested in her, to choose from. Sure, a few nuts will try to 'shame them' into behaving how they want, but most men will simply choose other women.

[Cheryl T]

Does it really matter what she thinks?
If you're out shopping why are you wondering about what some woman is thinking when she see you? You should be thinking, "Do they have that dress in my size?", or maybe "She's checking me out, ooh those are cute shoes she's wearing. I should ask her where she got them."

[Jenniferathome]

... I never said that a straight woman would go after a gay CD, just see her chances dwindle. ...

Yes, that is exactly what you wrote, several times. In fact, your statement of denial above alludes to that very thing. One's chances can not "dwindle" if one is not searching out that thing.


...And if the CD is gay, she doesn't stand a chance. ...

This woman has no chance with a gay man for whom she is not searching. What a relief for her.


...A straight woman will look at a CD and think that she's never going to do everything the CD will do to please her man. And that means maybe 2 or 3 more guys are out of her reach.

How can there be 2 or 3 more gay men out of her reach if she is not searching for them?


... And yes straight women are in competition with gay men. For MEN! There are a lot of straight men that are falling for gay men. .

Your first sentence is literally the opposite of what you claim to be your position. And your second sentence is absurd. There are ZERO straight men falling for gay men. Are you sure you understand the meaning of "straight" in this context?


...There really aren't many gay men per capita, but enough to create more problems for the girls. ...

A gay man can only create problems for a woman if she is searching out gay men. Again, counter to your stated position

You are like Donald Trump. Say something and then simply deny you said it despite numerous instances of having stated such.

I only have one question, are you Donald Trump?

[Princess Chantal]

She is thinking "why did I leave my pitchfork and torch at home today" or "OMG, I need to dress more feminine, he's showing me up!" or "I wonder what colour of panties he is wearing" or "that is such a nice wig, perhaps my husband would look better wearing one. His comb over is not all that sexy anymore"

[Ressie]

So there are absolutely no straight men interested in CDs? Are all married men totally hetero?

As far as average women, there are no average women! They're all unique with their individual thoughts.

[DIANEF]

This is an interesting discussion, and I can only speak from my own experience. Firstly my son is gay and from the talks we've had it seems the majority of gay men he knows are attracted only to their own like (of course there are exceptions). Asking him on his thoughts of CDers he said they are generally perceived by the gay community as being straight (the majority), or Bi-Gay or Bi-curious (the minority). As for womens perceptions of Cders, my SO has a fairly liberal attitude, when seeing a CDer her reaction is usually, 'oh, he looks really good'. or 'I like his dress,skirt, shoes ect' (note the use of 'he'). And that is pretty much it, nothing else. Most women I know would have a similar attitude. I'm no expert on the subject but can pass on what I do know.

[Alice Torn]

Leslie, well said.

- - - Updated - - -

Guynbart. I was shocked to see how many happily married couples were on here, too. Shocked, since i am 62 and still single, and no women i have met in my age range accept my CDing. I am not sure i understand where you are coming from, but in some cases i am sure it is true. Nothing new under the old sun!

[ReineD]

Does it really matter what she thinks?
If you're out shopping why are you wondering about what some woman is thinking when she see you?

Maybe Deebra is hoping that one day, a GG will see Deebra and think, "Wow, what a hot crossdresser (or woman), I'd love to get to know this person and I hope we go on a date"?

If this is why you keep asking this question, Deebra, you need to understand what forms the basis for attraction for most people. It's a lot more than how someone looks. Sure, most of us admire or enjoy looking at beautiful or sexy people, but if they are jerks, will they retain our attraction or admiration? No.

I think that most people want to date an interesting person who has a pleasing personality, a decent sense of humor, some degree of intelligence as well as drive or ambition to accomplish the things they want to accomplish. Bonus points if they take an interest in lots of different things (for example the arts, current events, travel) or if they have interesting hobbies, and can talk about these things in a thoughtful manner - if they are independent thinkers and don't just mirror what everyone else is saying.

So if you keep opening threads with this question in the hopes of finding a way to meet a GG who will be attracted to you, my advice is to meet her first in guy mode. I say this because although there are lots of GGs who can be civil or even nice to a CDer if they get into a casual conversation with him at some public place, it's a different matter when it comes to dating. Few GGs will initially think when setting eyes on a crossdresser, "Oooh, how awesome I'd love to go out with this person". So, meet someone in guy mode first. Dazzle her with everything you have to offer in a relationship (your personality, your sense of humor, your kindness and thoughtfulness, your accomplishments, your own unique way of thinking, etc), and when she thinks that you're a catch after you've gotten to know each other, then you can let her know that you also enjoy CDing. If she is into you, she will be more likely to work with it than if she isn't into you. We have wonderful stories of accepting wives and girlfriends in this forum, but I can't help but think these members have a lot to offer in guy mode as well, else their relationships would not have developed.

I don't know how old you are, but I'm under the impression that younger people are generally more accepting of gender and sexual variance than their prior generation. So if you are on the younger end of the spectrum, your chances of having a potential girlfriend work with it when you tell her about the CDing is greater (I believe) than if you are at the older end of the spectrum.

[Edit]

A straight woman will look at a CD and think that she's never going to do everything the CD will do to please her man. And that means maybe 2 or 3 more guys are out of her reach.

Have you heard the song, "Anything you can do, I can do better?" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO23WBji_Z0) Honey, there ain't nothing a guy can do that a GG can't do, even if it takes props. :D

Seriously, you're living in a different world than the rest of us, I'm afraid. Trust me when I say that GGs do NOT feel that they need to compete with CDers for guys. lol. The guys who want to be with GGs are not into men, unless they're bi. But, bisexuals account for a small percentage of our population. The vast majority of men are not gay or bi, therefore they would not be into CDers. Admittedly, if you hang out in places where some men are attracted to CDers either online or in bars, then I can understand why your perception is skewed.

[deebra]

ReineD, your perception of me is wrong, wrong, wrong. I am not looking for a mate, I have been in a very happy and solid relationship for fifteen years with my gg SO. As you commented on an earlier thread I am not obsessed with being femininely beautiful but I do like the curvy feminine look of twenty something females and of course love to wear the clothes they wear. I am in good shape and can wear the clothes. When I go public I dress andro and enjoy how the clothes "feel when wearing" and also wearing them in public, it's my right and have had no bad reactions from those I pass and interact with. I have come to the confidence zone of what our members say about being in public, dress nice and nobody cares and I sincerely believe most women are O.K. with seeing a CD. Even though I would like to take the dressing further with nice boobs and heels I know my limits and when to stop when going out. Nothing else brings the enjoyment of CDing. When dressed and out I truly enjoy the feel of the feminine clothes from the underwear to the outer clothing, acting with female mannerisms and I do feel feminine. Now that you know more about me I look forward to your future comments, anything you may have said has not offended me and I really do appreciate them ( of course you think you are right but I know I'm right).

I post and come up with different topics to keep this forum interesting, to long time members and new as well. So deebra will "keep em coming", BYE

[Krisi]

In this age of right wing fear and hate I sense some reasonable, accepting people have shifted toward the intolerant. I couldn't begin to imagine whats in someone else's mind, but I'm always ready for a negative reply

One thing I have learned in life is that if you go through life looking for the worst in people, you will usually find it.

The other side of the coin is, if you go through life looking for the best in people, you will often find it. Try it, I'll bet it works for you.

[alwayshave]

Deebra, My fiancee is a very judgemental women with a very little filter. We have been out and come across a CD and she'll say to me, "Who does he think he's kidding?" My reply is always "the same people I think I'm fooling, no one and please say she." Now she is very accepting of me dressed, encourages me to dress. But she does judge others.

[Krisi]

I'm not sure if it is "judging", but when my wife and I are out in public, she points out any unusual dressing, hairstyles, etc. if I don't notice them first. For example, someone (male or female) with green or blue hair, a guy with way too tight pants, a woman with way too high heels, etc. People do notice.

[ReineD]

ReineD, your perception of me is wrong, wrong, wrong. I am not looking for a mate, I have been in a very happy and solid relationship for fifteen years with my gg SO.

Deebra ... I did ask if maybe this was your reason for continuously opening threads with this question. I didn't say it was your reason. You do seem to ask this a lot and so I also wondered why.

If you are instead merely concerned about not being judged negatively when you wear women's things in public, then I agree with Cheryl T who asked, what does it matter what others think. And my response to you is still the same:

Most GGs will not care, because you have no impact on their lives. You are not married to them, you are not their employee, their brother, their son, etc, you are not invited to family get-togethers in their homes. They may chit-chat with you when you are a customer in their store or if they're standing in line with you waiting to make a purchase, but that's as far as it will go. They'll have forgotten about you when they leave, other than perhaps a few of them telling their friends later they saw a crossdresser. I do agree with the members who suggested that some of these GGs might think you are gay. But, being gay is accepted in our more liberal pockets of society so this is not a bad thing. And there will be a few who will not condone your choices (like Alwayshave's fiancée), but it will be impossible to tell which of the GGs feel this way because most will keep their opinions to themselves in your presence. And there will also be a few who will admire what you do and think you brave for being out in public dressed. But most GGs? They really won't care either way, for the reason I stated: you have no impact on their lives. However ... should these same neutral GGs' husbands or boyfriends tell them they crossdress, they would react in the same way as the wives and girlfriends of our members. They'd initially wonder if their husbands are gay, or if they want to become women, and they'd object if their husbands wanted to dress full time and come out to everyone they know. And a few of them would want to be in a DADT arrangement.

Last, if you keep asking this question in order to add interest to the forum, then I go back to wondering why you so frequently ask the same question.

[redtea]

girls are too irrational for me to even begin to think of what they are thinking. My rational male mind can only think of rational thoughts that make sense, but girls are far too irrational and complex to even come close.

I would think they think things like

1- Aw he looks so cute, he's so in touch with his feminine side
2- That's a nice skirt he has on, and those shoes look nice as well
3- ew wtf, is this guy for real, well ok don't make eye contact don't make eye contact
4- What a total creep! i bet he's a pedophile too
5- i wish my boyfriend was like that
6- Is that really a wig or is that natural hair?


But maybe i'm wrong, I am a male after all... Perhaps they will not think at all and just stare at my butt and think "i want a piece of that booty"
Or be frantically thinking of a way to compliment the CDer to make them seem tolerant and "a good person"

[ReineD]

girls are too irrational for me to even begin to think of what they are thinking. My rational male mind can only think of rational thoughts that make sense, but girls are far too irrational and complex to even come close.

Irrational? I'm a GG. :p It stands to reason that I do not agree with you. lol

[deebra]

Reine women are all around us (CD's) and we are wearing there clothes which they aren't use to seeing, again this is 2016 and attitudes and clothing has changed big time, I'm just trying to get a pretty true answer what the average women is thinking. I really would love to know what they think when they see a CD. Kinda like a car mechanic that really wants to find out why the car won't start sometimes and most of the time it will. Let's don't over think this, you know women are from venus and men are from mars and women's mind can change in a mila second and go all over the map, just ask redtea, irrational and complex. Males think different than females, if I had a female mind I wouldn't be asking this question; I don't so I am.

One thing we do have in common, I think, we both wear panties, I know I do, how about you. Thongs can be substituted and are allowed instead of panties.

[ellbee]

I do agree with the members who suggested that some of these GGs might think you are gay.

I've always found this to be really odd (and yes, many guys will think the same about a CD'er).

Maybe it's because I'm already well-versed in this community, knowing that a huge percentage (at least 80-90%?) are, indeed, hetero. And if you think about it, why would a gay male be attracted to someone wearing women's clothing? In my experience, as well in others', a gay male wants someone who looks & dresses like a guy.

I've been to enough gay clubs before. If it's not "drag night," or a typical drag club, in general, there will be *tons* of "regular-looking" men there. Like, up to a good 95% (with the rest being GG's & those somewhere on the CD/TG/TS spectrum). Come in all shapes & sizes & colors, too. And if I saw many of them on the street, I'd have no idea that they were gay.


Anyway, it's just a really weird thought to have, IMO, and one that really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Where does this notion that CD'ers are gay, come from? :strugglin


P.S. Reine is a GG (born female, thru & thru) -- and she's probably one of the most rational members here. ;)

[Lorileah]

One thing we do have in common, I think, we both wear panties, I know I do, how about you. Thongs can be substituted and are allowed instead of panties. So I guess that's the criteria: underwear. Thank you all for coming, drive safe.


girls are too irrational for me to even begin to think of what they are thinking. My rational male mind can only think of rational thoughts that make sense, but girls are far too irrational and complex to even come close.



congratulations, you just explained "mansplaining".

Honestly as mentioned above, people have an agenda. If you aren't part of that agenda or interfering with that agenda they don't even know you exist.

So now we know wearing "their" clothes must confuse or annoy them. We know that crossdressers are not only competition but also willing to go above and beyond to please a man. Women are irrational (and yet they don't end up in the ER near as often as rational males:idontknow: ). We know colors are gender specific. We know when anyone looks at a transgendered person they think "Gay...gotta be gay"

Shall we retire to the library and have some brandy and cigars now?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Shall we retire to the library and have some brandy and cigars now?

Indeed, and we shall tut-tut those radical bloomers who have the deucedly silly notion of suffrage for women. By jove, they'll be wanting to own property in their own names next

:Rolleyes:

In case some CD's arent quick on the uptake, I am being sarcastic and poking fun at the chauvinism.

And also, using the phrasing “the females“ where “women“ should be used makes one sound socially inept or like a Ferengi.

Veronica

[Gwyneth]

I really thought this was a forum that we could post simple things on and just get replies. I thought if you didn't like a particular subject you would simply go to the next topic. If the OP wants to post a lot of "what if" in this case "what are they thinking" the one's that wanted to post would put up cute comments. But there's a lot of judgement on this thread.

Deebra I think you deserve better.

[Jenniferathome]

Well Bart, you are in the wrong place then. People post ideas and others post theirs. If someone posts nonsense:facepalm:, they get it wth both barrels. I don't know where you go to get "cute" answers.

[Gwyneth]

I guess I was expecting a free zone. Nonsense is in the eye of the beholder.

[phylis anne]

Hey Bart ---What jennifer says and boy doe s she use both barrels:heehee: the people on this board come from all areas ,some are c/d some are t/g ,some (me included } are :tweeners:
and some more are not quite sure where they fit .Some are deep in the closet ,some are totally out ,some live full time we are all different with different ideas on who or what we are strap in and enjoy the ride

[ReineD]

One thing we do have in common, I think, we both wear panties, I know I do, how about you. Thongs can be substituted and are allowed instead of panties.

Me? Well, actually ....

I'll leave it at that. lol.


As to just wanting to know what GGs think, Deebra each time you start a thread like this you get the same answers! The answers will not change from one month to the next and honestly, no one really knows! lol. The only way to really know what any individual GG thinks, is to ask her and hope she is honest with her answers. Or have a neutral third party conduct anonymous surveys at several malls, to get a good cross-reference of people.

One of our members, Marcelle, conducted a small experiment about this a few years ago. She went into stores and browsed around or bought a few things, and then sent in her GG friend right after she left the store to see if the GG friend could pick up on any comments made by staff and other shoppers after Marcelle's departure.

Here's the experiment. It's an interesting read:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?212499-The-Rose-Coloured-Glasses-Experiment&highlight=

And this was in Canada, a place that I believe is generally more liberal than many parts of the US!

[deebra]

Guynbart thank you for the last sentence.

ReineD I hope you know the panty comment was just throwing in a little fun. Your answer leaves a lot of us wondering whether you wear thongs, bikinis, grannies or commando; are panties an age teller or how you think, young and sexy or over the hill. Come on, tell us what you wear so we'll know how old you are and how you think? Me, young and sexy, thongs first, bikini's second, commando for comfort. I challenge you, don't chicken out.

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Reine, I just read the experiment by Isha and it really said a lot and helped me with my question, thanks for providing it. Cudos to the VS manager, she handled it great. To bad some people don't understand us, that we are born CD and it's there for life and be accepting and positive of people different than they are.

[Ressie]

One of our members, Marcelle, conducted a small experiment about this a few years ago. She went into stores and browsed around or bought a few things, and then sent in her GG friend right after she left the store to see if the GG friend could pick up on any comments made by staff and other shoppers after Marcelle's departure.


Marecelle's experiment reveals something about human nature. That is, many people don't want to say what they're really thinking as they want to appear to be nice, kind etc. I'd guess many people are shocked to see a crossdresser if they've never seen one in public before. But they don't want to appear rude by saying what they're thinking.

[char GG]

Well, my co-worker called a crossdresser "shim" (she-him). Obviously not to his face, but after he left the room.

[ReineD]

I guess I was expecting a free zone. Nonsense is in the eye of the beholder.

You mean a place where members can post their wishful thinking as if it is reality?

Yes, this does happen here in many threads without any disturbance. But once in a while, those threads get responses from those who do think it important, occasionally, to inject reality.

[Krisi]

Well, my co-worker called a crossdresser "shim" (she-him). Obviously not to his face, but after he left the room.

It's usually "he/she" in my part of the country.

[dolovewell]

ReineD I hope you know the panty comment was just throwing in a little fun. Your answer leaves a lot of us wondering whether you wear thongs, bikinis, grannies or commando; are panties an age teller or how you think, young and sexy or over the hill. Come on, tell us what you wear so we'll know how old you are and how you think? Me, young and sexy, thongs first, bikini's second, commando for comfort. I challenge you, don't chicken out.


Do you ask women in real life what kind of underwear they wear?

[Stephanie47]

"Fun question?" Well, she is probably thinking I better pick that guy up, take 'shim' home, and, screw the heck out of her! Women always have raw sex on the brain! :) (OK, give me both barrels! :) )

[deebra]

dolovewell, remember the commercial on t.v. where two women are setting on a bench in the park checking out guys and guessing are they wearing boxers or brief's, Michael Jordan comes walking by, knows what they are doing, smiles and says don't even ask. He just might be a CD and won't tell????

If you know the woman well enough she might enjoy you asking and her telling you, then be ready for her asking you what you are wearing; and if you tell her women's string bikini panties where might this go from here?????????

[Jenniferathome]

Deebra, what color is the sky in your world?

[ellbee]

Jennifer,

Apparently too difficult to say, due to all the fog. :laughing:



Anyway, all the GG's who I've come out to have *never* made it sexual.

Some will be genuinely interested in it all, and start asking me all these questions ("How do you get your make-up to look so good?") or making comments ("You look better as a girl than as a guy!"), etc.

Some will even go so far as to slide their hand a bit on my freshly-shaved bare legs (at the shins ;) ).


But sexual? No.

Please stop thinking like a guy all the time. :)

[char GG]

Stephanie, your man card is showing.

[deebra]

Jennifer in my world I look up at the sky everyday and appreciate how beautiful it is and everyday it is different and thank God for giving it to us. And sometimes when the pink fog rolls in it just might come from a pink sky. Nothing perverted here, just thinking young and playful.

As I said if you know the woman well enough and you both like to joke around and some of the joking a little on the sexy side I'm relative sure asking her while joking wouldn't offend her. She might enjoy not telling to keep him wondering or she might say something like I wear different every day, you have one guess, if you guess right I will tell. I know from experience women enjoy playful banter and it doesn't have to be straight laced. Her telling doesn't mean she will take them off and he may not be interested in getting into them. If he would tell her he wears panties also she might really be interested in why he wears panties and this could lead to an interesting discussion why he would want to.

[rachael.davis]

"Women" don't have a hive mind, or a given set of responses they take from one handbook. I've met with remarkable kindness from a couple of elderly women, and mockery from a couple of millennials.

[dolovewell]

If he would tell her he wears panties also she might really be interested in why he wears panties and this could lead to an interesting discussion why he would want to.

Thats fantasy and not reality. There may be a diamond in the rough type of women who would be interested but I am assuming most women would be creeped out and either end the conversation or change the subject. I doubt many women would have a positive reaction to a guy telling her he wears panties and want to continue the conversation.

I have told 3 girlfriends in the past that I crossdress and all of them reacted the same way. Creeped out and not interested in discussing it at all. I think if I told them I wear women's underwear instead of crossdressing they would have reacted even worse.

[deebra]

Dolovewell you, Jennifer and I would never have a meeting of the minds on this; I can't help but think that at least some women and men aren't that closed minded that they wouldn't want to have a little discussion on why he likes to wear women's clothes. Me, I would like to know why some want to be a marine or navy seal, or boxer or cage fighter (to fight, hurt or kill or be killed ???). You have to ask to know and listening to the other person with an open mind then you can begin to understand why they do what they do.

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BTY Dolovewell you have great measurements and look every bit an attractive woman, you are truly blessed to be able to present so nicely. I sure this leads to a lot of girly time out and about.

[Jessica86]

Whew! This was an interesting read. I will start by saying you should never, and I mean never, make comments about GGs mixed with questions that have a sexual goal. You will be tarred and feathered for it. Every time. Why? I will tell you it is because some members put GGs willing to talk crossdressing on a pedestal, and they can not think, say or do wrong. Just give that up.

I can see where Guynbart is coming from but they do not know just HOW to say it. I think a better way to put it is that women generally are more competitive with each other, not men, as in when is the last time a woman cared what a man is doing? How about their friends? There's a reason why my wife sends more than 5000 texts a month to her friends, when my one liners only add up to 6 or 7 hundred. When a CD/TS is seen in public, they are now part of the competition because they are seen as a woman. Not a guy in a dress. Do they all think that? No. I can see Guynbarts point, but do not believe it happens as much as they perceive. After all, they are not competing with a CD....in THEIR mind. It's funny how so many CD/TS will have comments on how a GGs mind works....all I go on is evidence.

If women do not compete with each other, than how come millions are made each year on cosmetic ads featuring female celebs? There are SO many women's tabloids, are there any for men? Car and Driver is as close as you get. We could care LESS about what Brad Pitt is doing. I JUST found out Angelina Jolie is divorced! I found that out from my wife. I didn't care! I looked at her and told her uhhmm....ok....LOL. I don't buy a truck because JJ Watt is driving it, or tires because Dwayne Johnson is holding them up. I simply don't care.

To answer the OP question. I think they see a freak (if not passable). If passable, they see you no different. Then you are not judged by your sex, it is what you have on. I have heard girl friends of mine say "Man, she is dressed like such a ****. That's nasty." I never look at a guy and say "Dude, we get it, you work out. Put a tee shirt on." Nope, again. Back to what was said before. It CAN BE a competition for attention. To say it could not, even in the least bit, is an uneducated statement.