For those who haven't been out fully dressed in public yet cuz they're "scared" to...

[ellbee]

Yeah, I get it: It's scary out there, and can be quite nerve-racking at first. All kinds of crazy stuff can & does happen -- or it could be entirely uneventful.

It does take a lot of confidence to rip that band-aid off in one fell swoop, so to speak.


But have you ever tried a tiny baby-step to help get you there someday?

One way of doing that is going out completely as a guy -- except for one outwardly-visible thing of your choosing.


For example, earlier today I had to go to the post office & grocery store. And you think I'm gonna let the GG's have total dominion over yoga pants during an errand run? Aw, heck no! :D

My outfit: Men's running shoes, black bootcut yoga pants (with a thong underneath ;) ), and a charcoal men's t-shirt which, although not "a dress," was long enough to cover up most of my butt & front, as I didn't even "tuck" & the pants do hug the thighs & rear.


The only thing that kinda sucked was having no pant-pockets. Ain't I ain't carrying a purse, at least for that. Luckily, the t-shirt I chose has a front pocket, so I tossed my wallet in there (made it as light as possible first), and just kept my keys in my hand.


And it felt great the whole time out there. Very comfy! I looked in my full-length mirror before I headed out, and it really just looked like a "normal" guy-outfit. I even intentionally kept my ears & eyes out, and nothing out of the ordinary from anyone that I noticed.

Could a keen-eyed GG tell they were women's yoga pants, or at least wondering if they were? Always possible. But really, what's she gonna think -- "Ah, I don't blame him!" ?? :laughing:


Anyway, it's just one little thing to get you used to being all dolled-up out in public. And it really can be something as inconspicuous as what I wore. Do it a few times, and you realize it's no big deal, being perfectly comfortable with it. Then after a while, maybe kick it up a notch, by adding some not-so-obvious women's running shoes, or a women's top that looks more gender-neutral?

Really, you can take it as far as you want. But even just a couple things can get you used to the idea of being out there fully dolled-up in public, to make that "transition" that much easier when you do finally go ahead with it someday.


Give it a try, if you haven't already! :)

[April Showers]

I wonder if that's how the men wearing earrings fad started years ago.....one of us is to blame.

[Tracy Irving]

Good idea, Laura. No time like the present...

[Leslie Langford]

Then again, you could just get all dolled up in your favorite outfit, apply your make up using the techniques that you have perfected after countless hours of practice at home in front of a mirror, put on your best wig, add all the pertinent accessories (purse, shoes, jewelry, femme eyeglasses (if you need them), add a dab of perfume, stand in your doorway, psych yourself up with a resounding "Hell, yeah!", and walk confidently out the door into the big, scary world before you even have the chance for any second thoughts. All or nothing; sink or swim. :eek:

Parachutists, rodeo riders, bungee jumpers, and "extreme" roller coaster aficionados do it all the time for the same adrenalin rush, and they usually live to tell the tale as well. ;) The first time is always the hardest, but that is precisely where one typically needs to adopt the Nike "Just Do It!" philosophy in order to successfully banish those demons of fear that keep us awake at night. :heehee: :daydreaming:

[Army Aimee]

Awesome idea! I did it basically all at once, terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

[Lana Mae]

Bought women's sneakers the other day, One is obviously feminine and the other is hard to tell. Wearing the hard to tell ones with drab and panties. Also wear women's jeans and tee shirt with panties and sneakers. If had wig and makeup would go all the way(November) . Hugs Lana Mae

[Sissy_in_pink]

One way I found to boost confidence in go out fully dressed is to go for a 3 mile walk fully dressed in my neighbourhood, but of cause with jogger type shoes on rather than heels, do it about a half hour before it gets light in the morning, that way by the time you arrive home its broad daylight. Don't forget to take sunglasses with you. At that time of the morning you will have many cars pass you, but the occupants are only interested in getting to work and unless you live in an area that people go out jugging a lot or walk their dogs, you probably won't run into many, it's also a good idea to monitor your neighbours to see when they leave for work or arrive home if they are shift workers,
This is the way I did it and now I have been to 2 Formal Balls, Crossdressers social meeting and have gone out shopping in distant shopping malls and this is on my own as I don't know of any other Crossdressers in my area.
Anyway it worked for me:battingeyelashes:

[ellbee]

Yes, jeans are also good for this stuff. Though just be mindful of any of those fancy back pockets. ;)


I'm a bootcut-jean kinda gal, which oftentimes hug the butt & thighs, with obviously a bit of flare at the hem. Not entirely the most gender-neutral style, but I still wear 'em in guy-mode, anyway, LOL.

Oh, and with jeans you might have to go down a size if you normally wear them with hip/butt padding. :)

[HollyGreene]

That's the approach I took.
First time I went out the only items of female attire I had on were tight fitting ladies stretch jeans, and panties on underneath of course. I went shopping in the local supermarket. Jeans are unisex (although stretch ones less so) so I doubt whether anybody really took any notice. However, as it was my first time, it was a big adventure for me. I knew they were ladies' jeans even if nobody else did. As nothing untoward happened, I wore them quite regularly. My confidence grew, and started to wear a soft bra under my shirt and jumper, or wear a blouse in place of a shirt.
It wasn't long before I really wanted to take the plunge and go out fully dressed, as I felt I had built up the confidence to do it.
To be honest, the most nerve-wracking part was leaving the house (in case the neighbours saw me), but once I wasa couple of streets away, I was in my element. After that I was hooked.

[dolovewell]

It is like a bandaid, the first few steps are always the hardest, but once you are in and get settled down its no big deal.

Although for me its all or nothing. Some of you may be OK with going out partially dressed, for me, I only go out all the way - makeup, wig, hip pads, breast forms, clothes. Going out partially dressed is something I am not interested in, and I think that would be far more difficult than going out dressed all the way.

[redtea]

Baby steps are fun but i doubt I will ever work my way up to the full image let alone do a makeover in private (can't find a wig that makes me itch)

My first step was in yoga shorts (knee lenght, nothing crazy like those booty shorts) Oddly enough it was in broad daylight and i was just taking out the trash. The feeling of opening the door and into the world (live in apartment building) is surreal. It's like walking outside in your underwear, I mean those shorts were kind of like long boxer briefs.

Not sure what I hope to accomplish from all my CDing antics, I guess I'm just sick of feeling trapped in my forever single male narrative. By beating the boundaries in my mind I might undo my "Love shyness" that plagues me.

[Periwinkle]

For me, it was like ripping off the bandaid. I picked the date and time where it would be easiest for me. No one would be home to watch me leave, and not many people would be out and about because it was so early. I had to give myself a long peptalk about not caring what other people think, and reminding myself that I wouldn't have an easier time with it on any other day. I did end up going out and having a great time. The only issue I encountered was that I kept meeting really nice people who would ask for my name, but I had no female name to give them. Whoopsie! Maybe I really should come up with one.

[Krisi]

For me it's one way or the other. Not a mixture. It's Krisi or Homer, there's no "Kromer".

[AlyssaJ]

Well challenge accepted and answered! Laurababe, your post could have come at a more opportune time. I'm back on the road for a 3 day business trip. For the first time ever (and at my wife's suggestion - oh hell yeah she did) I brought both male and female clothing. As we discussed in another thread, I recently got my first pair of capri leggings and a sports bra so you know from how that thread went that those came with me.

Before I left my wife had planted the seed of "well how girly do your leggings look. Could you get away with them in the gym?" Well after reading your post tonight, I said f it, time for the word to meet me with all my gender queerness for the first time. I just got back from a 60 minute workout in the hotel gym. I wore my leggings with a women's thong underneath. My male ankle socks. A pair Nike runner's that are on the narrow side and grey with a supposedly orange trip that I've always thought looked more like a pink than an orange. Up top I wore my sports bra underneath a male sleeveless shirt with a tight mesh back. While you couldn't see the sports bra through the mesh, you could see the outline all across my back. Especially the tell-tail "wings" where it cuts under my shoulder blades. In other words, if you took any time to really look at me from behind, you'd know I was wearing it. Ultimately from the waist down, especially with my shaved legs and pretty shapely butt I must say, I looked female. My torso was pretty androgynous, and from my shoulders up unmistakably male.

I passed a few people in the hall, shared the elevator with a few more. There were two guys in the gym when got there. One finished his strength training workout and left about halfway through my 60 minute run on the treadmill. The other was there almost the whole time I was and left only moments before I wrapped up. So I know this will be shocking, but no one made a single comment, no one said anything to me other than hi and have a nice workout (when I got out of the elevator). So as you'd have expected, a total non-issue.

The fact of all this is, I'm in a hotel where many people who will be attending the same gathering I'm going to are also staying. I will be very publicly visible at that gathering so I knew going in there was a very good chance I'd encounter someone while dressed this way that I may see again in the next two days. However, it came down to me just saying "Enough is enough, it's time for me to come out and stop hiding from the world". I now know I'm gender queer, I have put my marriage in upheaval as a result, why should I let the rest of the world control me and my ability to express myself as I see fit. So I did it. Between your challenge and some encouragement from my wife (still very unexpected given her troubles with my gender identity) I finally built up enough motivation to rip off at least a little band-aid.

I realize for many of you who go out fully femme, this is a "baby step". Sure, but that was one GIANT baby let me tell you. For me this is so much bigger than just being seen in public in women's clothing. It's the first time I've acknowledged publicly that I am a non-binary gender and it was my announcement to the world that I'm not going to hold myself captive anymore. And it's only the first step. Hopefully this is the beginning of a snowball that will lead to my freedom of gender expression.

[Rhonda Jean]

[QUOTE=laurababe;4004452 I ain't carrying a purse, at least for that. [/QUOTE]

Soooo... What's wrong with carrying a purse? I've been going out in all manner of combinations, completely dressed, partially, just one thing like nail polish or heels... you name it I've done it. Purses, even in full girl mode always seemed awkward. a few years ago I was dating a girl who was way into purses. She had a bunch, and had a real eye for designer purses. Her enthusiasm for purses was contagious, and I caught it. But it didn't just effect me in girl mode. I started carrying a purse in guy mode and mixed mode. When I'm not at work, I typically carry a purse. Different purses for different outfits and different occasions. I used to struggle with what to carry in my purse. I'd fill it with needless things just so it wasn't empty. Not anymore! Once I got used to having that space always available it was no problem making it useful. I miss having it when I have to go without it. I suppose they've become a bit of a security blanket. Perhaps even a bit of a statement.

[GBJoker]

... I'm... Not going to do that. I'm fine in the basement.

[ellbee]

Congrats, Lisa! :banana:

See how easy that was? You must be feeling pretty good right about now. And that's awesome how your wife mentioned that.


Honestly, the lines are already pretty blurred when it comes to athletic apparel these days, anyway. Men's running tights, yoga pants, even capri's, etc. There might be some differences sometimes, like in the crotch area, but there's definitely tons over overlap. I've even seen some "questionable" colors/prints in the men's category that could easily pass as women's, too.

And yes, it probably helps if one is already somewhat fit, as it may make it "more believable." Even if one is out & about, other people might simply assume you just came back from the gym, or about to head there afterwards.


Not just using this as some sort of excuse, but I really need to lose a bit more weight on my upper body before I feel comfortable enough to go ahead & start wearing full-length yoga leggings while out running errands. Definitely some inspiration... Can't wait! :D



And Rhonda, I get what you're saying. But at least in the past, I've personally always reserved a purse for full-out en femme mode. If others are comfortable otherwise, then absolutely go for it. Can come in real handy!

Heck, plus I don't even own one right now. In the meantime, I can get by without. All I really need is my wallet & keys, which I could hold in one hand if ever need be.

But remember, this is about those who want to gradually work up their confidence before taking the plunge, which is perfectly fine to do it this way or the full-on "Just do it!" way. But going out mainly in guy-mode allows one to really pick & choose something, whether more fem or more gender-neutral. I suppose it's just a way of "blending" as a guy where they wouldn't get a 2nd glance (or even a first) -- as potentially opposed to an obvious CD'er who went all the way.

Just about dipping one's toes in. :)

[docrobbysherry]

If you're TS, u NEED to go out dressed fem because that's who u r. Dressing to blend is both necessary and practical.:thumbsup:

If you're a CD like me, u dress not because u need to, but because u ENJOY IT! And, going out dressed to blend is NOT enjoyable. :thumbsdn:

Since I don't need to go out amongst the muggles dressed, I DON"T!:D

[Ashley090]

Great tip! It sounds very easy to do, to accomplish. I wouldlike to do it. Someday. But even that thought of doing it creates that fear in my head. I know i should notcare and i am trying but still in back of my head its still there. "What they think? What they do? It ll have consequence?" and so on. Its still coming back. I am not sure how to fight that, but i must! Taking Ashley out is on program one day (she were once actualy, 8 year ago, first time and last time). Not sure of guys face and feme pants :D or any other girly clothing. how thats can work? :) to be honest, i am a little bit afraid of looking at myself in mirror as Ash. Getting guilty thoughts. Even after 18 years of CDing, yes.
Oh quick addition, while i wrote this post,my collegues had discussion about claustrophobic ppl. They say those people are weird, ill and their parents are reason for their condition. See how ppl are around so untolerative? Fot ppl with real medical condition, i dont even want to think of s***storm start would start if anyone with my gilr side :/
Anyway, thanks for tip. I ll give it try hopefuly.

[IleneD]

Scared? Audacity is more like it; and I confess to you, my sisters, it wasn't entirely wise to skydive on the first parachute jump.
I went on a long bicycle vacation, spending evening in small towns, bed & breakfasts, etc. I traveled alone on this trip, and took a few basic dressing items to try my wings for the first time.

The first night was in the seat of an agricultural community. You know the kind of midwest plains town.

I dressed at the B&B (hotel this night) in my favorite calf length blue floral dress, heels, bra/panties (of course), no makeup save for lipstick , my larges ear hoops. No wig. Wore my black floral silk headscarf and carried a small beaded hand evening bag. I strode out through the occupied lobby of the hotel. People saw. Walked a couple blocks to the only decent available restaurant on the courthouse square, and sat at an out sidewalk table. Spare the details; and my waitress was fantastic about it to the extent she bought me my wine. On return to my room, Alex the lone desk clerk took a photo with me in the lobby.
That was as good a first OUT as one could expect.

A couple nights later, was not so good.

In another wine town and another B&B, I dressed (same) and instead of dining in Dress, I lingered in the sequestered brick courtyard behind. I immediately walked up to a sole lady already seated, drinking wine and smoking. My appearance in that glorious long dress caught her visible attention. I wasn't trying to hide i was a man in a dress. I asked if I could join her, and we talked (about "it" , and other exploits) for over an hour. A great time.

An hour later before I retired for bed, I went out to the courtyard again in dress and alone for a nightcap. When I tried to re-enter I discovered I was locked out without my B&B keys. There was no staff on the grounds at night. And I was in a small city (urban-like), trapped outside my room in my dress. I was mortified of it. An hour and a half of frantic calls to an emergency number bore no fruit, and I faced the prospect of being found sleeping in a wrought iron chair in the courtyard come morning. In desperation I broke a glass on a rear window.... again DRESSED!. Good Lord, I waited and prayed the sticker on the window ("These Premises Under surveillance") was a fake, or that an alarm didn't sound.

In the morning I explained to the first shift staff what happened and made restitution for the glass. But I've executed aerial un-briefed re-attacks on heavily fortified positions and not been so "puckered up" as that second attempt at going out.
Just saying...... look about you before you leap. You will leap

[GBJoker]

I feel like I'm not understanding why it's so important to go out in public while dressed...

[Alice_2014_B]

First time I went out I got all dolled up, wig to heels, and just went to the post office one night to check the mail.
Pretty much no one else around.
Then I started going to department stores.
Getting a few whistles from people and compliments from SA's definitely helped.

Most difficult thing was approaching the ID checkers at the comedy club a few weeks ago; it was the first time I spoke to anyone out in public whilst dressed up. I just used my regular voice, went very smoothly.
That in and of itself took more courage-buildup than actually going up and being on stage for three minutes entertaining people with jokes.

:)

[AlyssaJ]

GB for many people it may not be. If crossdressing is just an enjoyable hobby for you, I can understand why doing it at home in privacy may be enough. For me as a gender fluid individual, it's much different. It's about not having my gender forced on me but rather being able to express who I am. I'm not male, I'm not female, I'm in that largely yet to be understood middle. Why should I have to act, dress, think like a male just because I'm out in public. For me, cross dressing in public is what would be normal for me if society didn't assign genders to clothing. So it's important because it's part of how I feel inside not having to be bottled up when I go outside. I hope that makes sense.

Laurababe, if I really want to make this a challenge, I suppose the next step would be to loose the shirt and just go in the leggings and sports bra. I'm very tempted to try it and very scared as well. If this were a different type of trip where I wouldn't have to worry about people in the hotel ever seeing me again it would be easier. However, in this case, my hotel is filled with people I know professionally and who may be in attendance when I give a presentation tomorrow. For that reason, I may keep my workout tonight to the same outfit I wore yesterday. I admittedly haven't fully decided yet.

I also have a 5 hour drive home tomorrow night and I'm seriously considering driving home in my workout gear. I also have a new professional outfit with me (Cami blouse, skirt, heels) which I thought about wearing all or a part of to drive home, just not sure on that yet. It's an eye catching outfit so I think I'd like to be a bit more androgynous (i.e. no beard and mustache for starters) before trying that one.

[Dana44]

Laura. In another post on obsessions, I said that mine was if i go out it will be a skirt or dress. But running around with yoga pants, yeah the girls know that they are theirs. But if i want to blend during summer i always wear shorts and yes they are girly shorts. And women jeans,no problem. I am mostly male doing that but when i am totally fem its doing it right and looking the part. I have stated that out there the most feminine men don't even track attention. So if I want to present as a women, skirts, feminine tops and dresses, makeup and bling. Then I am a tall lady and no problems.

[ellbee]

Regarding the sports bra, that's obviously totally up to you.


The way I would look at it is, is there a real need to? If yes, then obviously wear it.

Otherwise, is there a valid point that makes sense to? Personally, I wouldn't, but that's just me. When I'm out in guy-mode like this, I don't really aim to call attention to myself. A sports bra would "scream" that person is wearing women's clothes. I know there's a decent chance I would get looks, whispers, fingers pointed, laughs, maybe even some kind of comment. To me, I don't have the need or desire, nor would I think it's worth it in my case.


When I do this, I typically just wear women's stuff that's kinda-sorta gender-neutral, but a bit on the femmy side. No bright "girly" colors or floral patterns or lace or whatever, no skirts or obvious heels, etc. Tend to stick with black, grays, blues & browns. Though I have worn white/silver/turquoise/lime-green running shoes -- still working up the courage to wear (in public) some bright pink in those, LOL, as I do have an awesome pair that fits the bill.


Anyway, your call. Good luck with whatever you do! :)

[Crissy Kay]

I feel like I'm not understanding why it's so important to go out in public while dressed...

GB, you are not the only one. While if some of the girls here enjoy it that's fine. I am happy where I am. To me its like asking for trouble. Then again I am looking at it from a non passable part timer viewpoint anyway.

[ellbee]

But running around with yoga pants, yeah the girls know that they are theirs.

I beg to differ! :D

It can be done easily, if one is mindful to have a good portion of their front/rear covered with a top. The bootcut-style is no problem -- it's the leggings (clinging to the ankle) that's a bit more "risky." But like I said, the gender lines are definitely blurred when it comes to athletic apparel -- and yes, that includes men's running tights, yoga pants/shorts, as well as various kinds of capri's.


In the second post, April mentioned that perhaps earrings got their start this way in modern society. I have no clue. But could something like this happen with some variety of yoga pants, to some degree, which are created & marketed on a large scale to men? I don't think that's too far of stretch, no pun intended. And wouldn't be surprised if I did see it someday. They're simple, comfy, convenient & versatile. :)

[Katie789]

I've recently been very tempted to go out in ladies jeans and a pair of black ballet flats - do you think people are likely to notice the shoes or are people not really looking there?

[ellbee]

I've worn flats out in guy-mode before (as well as some other kinda/sorta gender-neutral footwear from the women's side of things).

Really depends on how they look as a stand-alone, as well as with the rest of your outfit.


The tricky part is, if you want to go more-or-less "stealth," if one item is recognized with a good degree of certainty that they are indeed women's, then an observer might very well begin to scrutinize everything else you might be wearing, too.

[GBJoker]

Lisa-wb: I'm a TS. But GG's don't go around wearing nothing but skirts and dresses. To me, the logic just doesn't add up.

[Stephanie47]

I feel like I'm not understanding why it's so important to go out in public while dressed...

I understand where you're coming from. Maybe it's akin to a fisherman who is content to sit on the shore of a lake and fish for catfish, while another gets on the deep sea vessel and strikes out for that 20 foot Great White shark. Contentment?

I had the burning desire to stretch my legs when I was in my early thirties. It drove me crazy that I could not strut my stuff outside the home. I ended up taking some drives. Then a little stroll. A Halloween adventure to grocery stores and a doughnut shop. I let another three decades go by before I decided to go out again when my wife was away for a week. I went for drives and strolls. I enjoyed the cool air on my legs. I would love to be able to go to a convention, but, that's not in the foreseeable future. I am content to be an in-home dresser and get things done around my home attire a la June Cleaver. Each should stay within their comfort zone. And, also consider risk v reward.

[Lorileah]

Otherwise, is there a valid point that makes sense to?
If any of this makes sense (as to what people wear) you're ahead of the curve

[AlyssaJ]

But GG's don't go around wearing nothing but skirts and dresses. To me, the logic just doesn't add up.

What in the heck are you referring to? Who said anything about only going around wearing nothing but skirts and dresses? In fact, as I recall, my contribution to this thread was about wearing capri leggings. Yes I do want to be able to wear skirts and dresses too. I also want to be able to wear jeans (men's or women's depending on what I'm doing and the look I want) and just about any other article of clothing that I choose without having to be told I can't wear this or that because I'm a man and men only wear these particular things.

I'm sorry I can't explain this logically for you, but I'm not sure how much logic is really involved. If you're a TS, then you understand the overwhelming sense that your body doesn't match what you feel. That the image and behaviors you're expected to portray don't match who you really are. Are you saying that before you fully transitioned, it wasn't important for you to be able to present the image that you felt on the inside when you went out into the world? It's no different for me. The only difference is I'm not locked into one binary identity or the other. My identity flows between the two ends of the spectrum. So just as a TS like you (sorry IDK but I'm assuming you're a trans woman) needed to go out and present as a woman because its who you knew you were even if your body didn't match, I need to go out and present as whatever I'm feeling at that time because its who I know I am even if my body doesn't match.

Now the difference for me as a gender queer is that if I chose anything other than full female or full male presentation, it can actually be more difficult than presenting as one of the binaries. There's no blending when you're sporting a beard and mustache but wearing a pair of heels or strappy sandals with a lacy blouse and jeans.

[ellbee]

If any of this makes sense (as to what people wear) you're ahead of the curve

I'm thinking along the lines of: "The Guide to Practical Crossdressing" by Dr. Laura Babe


Total best-seller. :D

[dolovewell]

I feel like I'm not understanding why it's so important to go out in public while dressed...

For me, I only go out dressed if I have a purpose. Mainly going shopping for new clothes. I want to try on stuff at the store, and that's easier when I am dressed up. Or a makeup store like ULTA is more comfortable to go into dressed up. I'll go places dressed with a purpose.

But I agree with you, I would never go out dressed partially or just wearing a couple of women's clothing items but presenting male. That I am still trying to figure out. I won't judge or criticize anyone, but it is something I too do not understand. I feel like doing that is just inviting negative reactions from others.

[GBJoker]

Dolovewell: Well, I'm asking as an overall thing. I've noticed so many here placing so much emphasis on going out that first time, and I just wanted to know why. But oh wells.

[ellbee]

GB,


Do you ever socialize?

Well, some of us like to do that en femme.


In my younger days, friends & I (mixed group) would go clubbing/bar-hopping (hetero, gay, drag clubs -- didn't matter), house parties, or just chilling out, or whatever.

Was lots of fun, and had all kinds of crazy times. :)

[AlyssaJ]

I would never go out dressed partially or just wearing a couple of women's clothing items but presenting male. That I am still trying to figure out. I won't judge or criticize anyone, but it is something I too do not understand. I feel like doing that is just inviting negative reactions from others.

Two different motivations here. For a Cross-Dresser, a person's who views dressing up as a woman as a fun hobby maybe even a bit of an obsession but still strictly focused mimicking a woman, I think it's about the thrill. I believe many cross dressers dream of being able to go out and about acting fully as a woman but are too scared or have other limitations that prevent them doing so. Going out in female clothing that is closer to unisex and may go undetected or at least not garner major reactions from others allows a CD the ability to get out in some form of female wear even if they're not fully transformed. For some, this becomes a first step that ultimately leads them to building up the courage to go out fully dressed up.

For a non-binary person such as myself, someone who has far deeper motivations for wearing "female" clothing as well as other feminine presentation, there is a different motivation. For me I choose to wear a myriad of feminine and masculine items because they allow me to fully express and dress consistent with how I feel inside. Dressing in capri leggings and a sports bra (the bra still concealed under my masculine sleeveless shirt) was my first opportunity to go out in the world expressing a part of me that I've been forced to keep bottled up for nearly 40 years. Ideally, what I want to be able to do is go out in just the leggings and bra (a very popular look on women) without having to put on a false face (shaving my facial hair, wearing a wig, etc.) and just go about my business. Sadly, society doesn't accept that as well so I do have to still bottle some things up (unless I get brave enough to say f it, I'm doing it anyway).

I realize the idea of Non-binary gender is tough for some to understand. It's not well socialized, the scientific data that backs it up is not typically discussed in mainstream media, and it destroys the long held notion of a two gender world. However, if you want to understand a little better what I hope to someday be able to present to the world as part of my gender fluid identity, do a google image search for "Non Binary Androgynous" and look at the many beautiful people you'll see who mix elements of both binary sexes in the way they present themselves.

Nowhere in any of this is the goal to elicit a negative response. For the CD, the goal is to "get away" with it without any negative response. For me and other NB's like me, the goal is to just be ourselves and if it elicits a bad reaction well hopefully we get through it safely and maybe it gives us a chance to educate someone and expand their minds a bit.

[Majella St Gerard]

Everyone is different, some are content to stay indoors for whatever reason. Me, I like to go out dressed the way I like. I'm not in the closet, I'm very open about my crossdressing. I go everywhere dressed now. I find people very accommodating, I've never been accosted and if I am I can handle myself. This didn't happen overnight, in 5 years I went from only underdressing to going to stores, bars etc fully crossdressed.

[Lorileah]

Nowhere in any of this is the goal to elicit a negative response. For the CD, the goal is to "get away" with it without any negative response. For me and other NB's like me, the goal is to just be ourselves and if it elicits a bad reaction well hopefully we get through it safely and maybe it gives us a chance to educate someone and expand their minds a bit. Wow...so close and yet. How do YOU know CDs want to get away with it? Maybe they just want to go out. Maybe they don't like being told that they can't do it. I would bet many have te same reason YOU do
I see we are drawing a new "camp" here of being more trans than thou.
the goal is to just be ourselves

[docrobbysherry]

GB, I think Laura nailed it for me. I go out a lot dressed. Mostly at nite. But, not ever alone. Only with other T's or on my way to a T event. Hanging with other T's is too much fun and not stressful like being out alone. :hugs:

I get very stressed out among Vanillas by myself because I can't pass at midnite on a moonless nite in a power outage. If I could pass just occasionally, I mite feel differently.:straightface:

GB,


Do you ever socialize?

Well, some of us like to do that en femme.


In my younger days, friends & I (mixed group) would go clubbing/bar-hopping (hetero, gay, drag clubs -- didn't matter), house parties, or just chilling out, or whatever.

Was lots of fun, and had all kinds of crazy times. :)

[Ashley090]

Everything we do, everything we want, all what we do as cd's depends on each one person, desires, needs, expectations, liking. Some likes stay home, some wanna go out. Some wanna present self as convincing female, some go as "guy in dress". Do what you like.
But we should go back to topic. Like to hear more tips for those who wants step to scary place called "The Outside" ;)

[Majella St Gerard]

Just do it, nobody cares what you're wearing.

[CarlaWestin]

"Just do it, nobody cares what you're wearing."

I like that one. I've been out passable many times but, there's a kinda thrill element to be out a little outrageous sometimes. I enjoy being out and about a little on the 'curvy (buxom) side' more than any other look. I generally avoid direct interaction with anyone and just sort of mingle around in the same public space taking pictures and videos. I've even taken care of small noninteractive errands (gas the car, letters to post office, etc...) usually early in the morning, in full pink sissy, curvy business woman and buxom tart outfits. Seriously, no one notices or cares.

Oh, and I'm dying to use the Halloween excuse to go out as a Sexy Maid, School Girl, Cheerleader, Nurse, Dominatrix, etc.......

267056

[AlyssaJ]

Wow...so close and yet. How do YOU know CDs want to get away with it? Maybe they just want to go out. Maybe they don't like being told that they can't do it. I would bet many have te same reason YOU do

Sorry, you're right. I was trying to summarize my previous points (where I tried to be clear I was only speculating and not the expert on CD motivations) and it came out poorly. Thank you for calling me on that. I agree with you, I think we're all just trying to be ourselves and not be bottled up by what is socially acceptable.

The last thing I want is to get into this idea of more Trans* than you or not Trans enough. That's the ugly underbelly of the Trans community is all that clique-y judgmental crap. I don't want to, or be seen as, falling into that.

[CD Tammy]

My brave venture outs have been sort of along the lines that you suggest. I don't do it in my neighborhood but I will drive somewhere then go for a walk. I get dressed in spandex tights, men's shorts, t-shirt, socks, and shoes. Another thing that I like to do, is when on a long drive, I will wear tights under my slacks, and change into some classic pumps. I try to challenge myself to wear them the whole drive. If I stop for gas, I will pull to the farthest pump. I've stopped at rest areas that were empty and walked to the bathroom wearing them.

[PeggyNell]

I am planning on going out tomorrow night. It is a Club that doesn't care what you are wearing, but I will be walking there. I will have on a blouse that is very comfy.my gg friend could not tell. I have a pair of my man short, but will be wearing panty hose. They just make my legs look tan, they are white now😎. And have a pair of men's nice shoes. Of course I will also wear my bra that is my natural size. It's is funny, with the bra on in "guy" mode. I feel that it makes me have a better looking chest. So thinking about it I will only have on my shorts and shoes that are "guy" stuff.😊

[IleneD]

Go for it.
For me the sheer audacity of it (crossdressing) is one of the best parts of the adventure.
I've done the equivalent of skydiving on my first parachute jump on the very first time I ventured into The World, and it was thrilling and madness. For the few who gawk, I've become so brazen that I enjoy looking them in the eye with a smile. "Yes, it's ME, in a dress. What about it? You wished you looked this good."

Audacity.

[ellbee]

Like to hear more tips for those who wants step to scary place called "The Outside" ;)

Keeping with my original "partially-dressed in guy-mode so you gradually become accustomed to wearing women's stuff out in public" thing...



Today I received some brown booties that I had ordered online. Very cute, nice quality, great deal. Plus they're comfy & fit perfectly. I'm actually going to be ordering a 2nd pair in another color, I love 'em so much! :thumbsup:


Now, I knew they'd be like this before I bought them, but bootcut jeans/pants hide all the "girly" stuff, like the buckle & strap detailing -- even while walking.


The toe box, while still with a feminine-enough taper, is also somewhat rounded so that it doesn't scream "women's shoes!" at a quick glance.


The heels? 1.5" -- thick & chunky. Heck, I've got guy-boots with a 1.25" heel! Yes, they're women's heels, but there are some men's cowboy boots that have a similar-style heel to them, as well. But the best part? They're a softer rubber-type material the whole way through. Meaning, they don't "click" when walking on tiled floors! And no sound means no attention. ;)


Bottom line? Yeah, I'm totally wearing these out in guy-mode with a bootcut hem. I did good with these, both for girl-mode & guy-mode. Very happy! :D

And this is the kind of stuff one needs to look for & keep in mind while shopping / deciding what to wear when doing something like this.

[MakeupRox]

Soooo... What's wrong with carrying a purse? I've been going out in all manner of combinations, completely dressed, partially, just one thing like nail polish or heels... you name it I've done it. Purses, even in full girl mode always seemed awkward. a few years ago I was dating a girl who was way into purses. She had a bunch, and had a real eye for designer purses. Her enthusiasm for purses was contagious, and I caught it. But it didn't just effect me in girl mode. I started carrying a purse in guy mode and mixed mode. When I'm not at work, I typically carry a purse. Different purses for different outfits and different occasions. I used to struggle with what to carry in my purse. I'd fill it with needless things just so it wasn't empty. Not anymore! Once I got used to having that space always available it was no problem making it useful. I miss having it when I have to go without it. I suppose they've become a bit of a security blanket. Perhaps even a bit of a statement.

I LOVE IT!! I am very similar. Forever I just wanted one, so I had a backpack (still do for work), then a messenger bag. Finally I got a purse, and I LOVE it! I only have two right now, but in time im sure i will have many more. I SO understand woman's love afair with purses!!

[SarahleeNH]

I agree with you on this. But sadly, that is who I am. It is a binary world. Round leg in a square hole...

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Shoes and blouses that pass are tricky. I'm always on the lookout. Thanks for the tip. I'm on the hunt! 😏

- - - Updated - - -

BTW, that look you posited that would never blend is exactly how I would love to dress. But with eye makeup and pretty earrings. Ah, well...

[Brandy Mathews]

It is such an amazing feeling dressing up and going out in public. Haven't had the chance to do it for a while but I miss it so bad. I guess the only thing keeping me from doing it again is another girl to go out with me.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[ellbee]

Something else I thought for those who are too "scared" to wear something even to the grocery store or somewhere, yet desperately want to get out there someday...


Wear just one fem thing while in guy-mode. But instead of somewhere where there's a definite chance of others seeing you, simply go to the gas station (and pump your own gas), or to the ATM at your bank (the kind where you have to walk in -- not the drive-thru ones ;) ).


Odds are no one will see you or even notice in those situations. But there's still a tiny chance you'll see another living & breathing human being.


Baby-step of a baby-step. :)