The Great Irony

[franlee]

What really gets to me is why we ask "why" we do what we do. Then want someone else to explain it so that we can feel better about it or justify it. So what's the Irony, it's simple. CDing then asking the question why then asking why I'm doing it again without the answer? You did it because you chose to and we all know it, now motivations may vary, but for the vast majority of us made a conscious decision to. So there is your classic question which came 1st the CDer or his reason/desire! I for one have no need to reason out anything beyond I did it and it worked for me. The irony for me is I did but not enough to satisfy me and now that my age and physical condition is limiting it I can do it as much and as long as I want without all the other inconvenient stuff I hear people worrying about. Life is full of Irony and is one within it's self, age=wisdom, resources but limited time, but youth=the time, energy(physical fitness) but less resources(money). But as I always say it's worth something to be around to FUSS!

[reb.femme]

Hi Franlee,

Not a question that I pre-occupy my mind with either. It is what it is. My only question is, what the hell am I wearing to my group meeting tomorrow night. It's in a pub, so got to look my best :heehee:.

I agree that it's nice to be around on this Earth, than not. We still retain the privilege of whinging and I put it to good use every now and then.

Becky

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Franlee:hugs:, For me the simple answer is, It's just who I am and it's just what I do.

I will be 74 in exactly two months and I have been in this program for over 69yrs.

For me it means having the best of both worlds ...:daydreaming:...

[CarlaWestin]

I think the great irony is just an inflated statement. Maybe early on when I thought I was possessed by demons, or something stupid like that, I wandered, "Why!?" But, when I just realized that this proclivity is actually a special gift and life enhancement, I just quit questioning and started enjoying.

[Leah91]

For me it's still confusing. I love the way girls get to dress, grow there hair and style it, put on makeup a specially around the eyes, there slender bone structure, the jewlery they get to wear it's all so pretty. I guess it makes me a little jealous, but when I cd it's kind of a rush because it's breaking the norm or the the gender rules. What ever it is inside of me I love it and I hate it because I can't control the urge to think any other way, I'm mentally drawn to it for me the action of going out and buying items to dress is something that I chose to do, but my mind and thoughts are always driving me in that direction. It is a roller coaster of emotions that no one gets to see inside of me because I can't tell anyone about my iner feelings. That's why websites like this are nice because you can vent out to people who understand and share some of the same issues.

[Taylor186]

"The unexamined life is not worth living." ~ Socrates

Have to disagree. First, I didn't chose the desire to crossdress, I was and am compelled to do it. Second, it has only been through an examination of this compelling need that I have come to understand and accept it as a part of who I am.

[edit] I still don't know "the why," but that is ok too.

[Stephanie47]

I've stated numerous times on the forum when my wife asked the question "Why?" I finally stated the truth, "I don't know!" Once I said some BS that it makes me be in touch with my feminine side. And, I said that long before I knew this site existed. My wife shot back something to the effect about when I experience childbirth...blah, blah, blah... So, if you still ask me the "why" question after forty more years, I'll still say "I don't know why I like to wear women's clothing." Since I have accepted myself several decades ago, I am comfortable with my answer. I do not have to go to a shrink to figure it out. Save your money if you're contemplating going to a shrink to delve into the "why" question. Yes, go to a counselor if there's other issues surrounding women's clothing, such as negotiating with your wife or you're spending too much money on clothing, etc.

[Cheryl James]

The "Why" has troubled me all of my life. Today, though, I find that the "When" (will I get to do it again), to be the bigger issue. It is who I am . Good or bad, like it or not, it's an integral part of me and I can no more change it (not that I would want to) than I can flap my arms and fly.

[Tracii G]

People that are fixated on the whys and hows of their CDing seem to be the ones that I call the perpetual "what is wrong with me type".
There has to be a reason or some kind of trigger that causes me to like this so I must be messed up mentally is how they think.
Learn to let go and just enjoy life being yourself.
I have one trans friend that is consumed with the notion that "nobody understands me""why am I like this""why is life sooo hard?"
I have answered her this way.
1. I understand.
2. I have know idea you just are.
3. life is hard for most everybody but you are making yours harder by complaining.
She is getting better and starting to loosen up a little.LOL

[DIANEF]

Its a long time since I asked myself 'why' I do it. Now I'm really past caring. What I do know is that it is part of me and probably always has been. I enjoy my dressing immensely and will continue to do so for as long as I am able.

[sometimes_miss]

Well, it is nice to know why we do things, beyond the just 'I wanted to'. Otherwise you can waste your life away trying to fit into a lifestyle that you think you're supposed to be, all due to subconcious desires that are screwed up. Without the continuous search for knowledge, I would probably have desperately pursued SRS and been one of the unhappy folks who made that mistake all due to a lack of understanding of who and what I am. More knowledge is nearly always a good thing.

[franlee]

It's amazing to see all the different trains of thought that this generates. The fact that someone that see so much of life in simple black or white and born in the era that I was and brought up in a strait laced environment wold ever be invested in this activity, now that's an irony. I do appreciate all the reply's with the varied perspectives and feeling on the subject.

[Lacey New]

I think that I am still asking the question in another way. Why didn't I choose not to crossdress as so many straight, monogamous males do? I am not sure that I will ever really find the answer but what is comforting is that as I read from this site, there is no right or wrong answer. It happens. Whether nature or nurture, no one truly knows and since we are all over the map as far as gender identity and sexual orientation , this site is sort of like scrambled eggs. Can't tell the yolk from the white but it is all there. Point is, I am not alone and many of the stories of first crossdressing resemble mine . So, I have concluded that if you are OK, then I must be OK too.