So Apparently I Was Outed

[Adriana Moretti]

Hey girls, figured I would share with you all my story of being outed. Yes outed, it seems all my friends from my past have discovered Adriana and they have known for a while now. Here is my story.

About four years ago, I decided to follow what I felt was my true path, to be the real me, and to be happy.I spent years of my life pretending to be happy, and tried to live the life everyone else expected of me , but it was far from the true feelings I had inside.
I looked at where I was in life, who my friends were, and decided it was time to become the best me I possibly could. In order to do this I needed to explore my feminine side, so in the process I stepped away from my so called life & friends and I took some much needed "ME" time, and started to try to understand, and express my feminine side. I spent my days working out in the gym running six miles a day, trying to get my body into a more feminine shape. I did research online, to learn about crossdressers, and what it was to be transgender, I studied and practiced makeup , and fashion all to better myself. I took notes, wrote things down,participated in this forum, and even started my own website as my own little private girl world filled with all the information I learned along the way to try to help others going through the same thing

In about six months I gained the knowledge & the confidence to finally make a the first step of going out in public and expressing my true gender and attended a Transgender Crossdresser event, it was here that I realized I was not alone in my feelings. I made lots of new friends, friends I still have to this day. I attended seminars, and local support groups, and traveled as much as I could to learn about my gender identity, and to meet and hear the stories of other people just like me.

That whirlwind lasted about a year before I stepped back again to analyze my life.
It was here it dawned on me I have not made contact with any of my old friends, and they too had made no effort to contact me . I had been so busy trying to figure my life out, that I never looked back, but also did my so called friends even care ? Sure there was one or two I felt bad about not having in my life, and wanted to reach out to, but the majority at this point in time did not matter anymore.
So I pushed forward. I was finally happy, and comfortable with myself.

3 more years passed by and I continued down my new path, I was completely comfortable now with my new identity, made lots of new friends, and was exploring and living my life to the fullest in the real world, as Adriana.

One day while reading the comments on my blog, I noticed a familiar name ( it was someone from my past ) who had discovered my blog, and obviously discovered everything about me .I put my entire life online with no shame in my game almost as if I wanted it to be found. I was never ashamed of being me.

At this point I knew I was outed, and that he would go and tell everyone from my past about what he saw, and what he learned. I panicked , and decided to reach out to one of my old gal pals, she was one girl I always felt bad about leaving out of my new life, she was the acception to the majority of my friends, at least SHE reached out via text to say happy birthday, or wish me a happy holiday, and I knew when I was ready to come "out" , she was the first person I was going to tell.

So I called her, and came clean. I told her I was Transgender, and that I have made an entire new life for myself, and for once I was truly happy. Her response was "I have known for a long time, I love you, and want you to be happy" . This response peaked my curiosity, HOW did she know ? How long ago did she know ?

It turns out my "so called best friend hacked into my email over a year and a half ago . He found tracking numbers, and mail orders for makeup and shoes. He found pictures, he found my website, he found everything. Not knowing what to do, he decided to ask ANOTHER friends advice , which was the complete WRONG thing to do , instead of approaching me about the situation. This particular friend blabbed his mouth to just about anyone who would listen. EVERYONE from my past knew. They knew everything., and they have all known for a while.

After I found this out, I had kind of laughed it off, so everyone has known for years now ? "Yup"....and nobody cares, as long as you are happy. But the more I thought about this, the more it dawned on me how much my privacy was violated.

Hacking into my email ? Telling everyone? People have lost jobs, wives, and even lives due to being outed. Nobody put my feelings into consideration. Lucky for me, I had made a brand new life for myself, and nobody from my past mattered anyway. I had nothing to lose.

With that a feeling of relief came over me, no more getting nervous about running into someone from my past when I am out locally. Everyone knew I was "OUT" but me apparently. So now, I have no more worries. I am completely free.

When my friend caught wind I knew about what they had done, he had texted me to apologize for hacking into my email, and making the wrong decision in asking another friend advice on how to handle the situation leading to me being outed.
Although I appreciated him reaching out, at this point in time it was too little, too late. Here was my response.

"At this point in time I am mostly "out" anyway and so far removed from that group of friends that it does not even matter. It does however prove my point of what my gut told me when I decided to confront the whole transgender thing, and that was none of you were my real friends anyway, the actions of you and some of my other friends just put it in stone for me. I am mad, but at the end of the day does it really matter? Does it have any effect on my life ? It really doesn't, I can just look back shake my head and know years ago I made the right decision".


I DID make the right decision, I am one of the lucky ones, I had nothing to lose choosing this path except maybe a few friends who at the end of the day proved they were far from true friends. I made a whole new life for myself, with all new friends.
I have traveled , and have done things I could of only dreamed of years ago.
I am happier and living life the way I should be. I wouldn't change anything. I am free to be me.

[Alice_2014_B]

Very crazy place the "interwebs" can be; at least you're willing to admit what happened and move on.
Thanks for sharing.
:)

[Gwyneth]

You are a strong brave person. If we all had your courage! And your "new" friends.

[michelleddg]

That is one amazing story, thanks for sharing. Hugs, Michelle

[Lorileah]

Wow, remind me not to anger you if I was your friend. You not only burned the bridge you made the river deeper and faster. He apologized, no one died. But looks like what you said is true, you were never his friend anyway.

Not saying you have to take him in your arms and hug him then go our for a beer, but damn, saying everyone was not your friend? That none cared about your feelings? (They kept it within your circle and NO ONE came to you to rub your face in it) and many said as long as you're happy...seems to me they accepted you.

Do you feel better?

[Adriana Moretti]

thats was the last straw in a long line of actions, more examples would be going 8 months without a phone call pre this situation after i broke up with my girlfreind....ignoring phone calls and texts for months....it goes on but hey....continue to look at it as half empty....

[Lana Mae]

Thanks very much for sharing! I am glad everything worked out for you! Hugs Lana Mae

[JocelynJames]

You're happy and you feel
Things are the way they should be. Enough said. Congrats

[Lorileah]

Always more to the story. You made it sound like the outing was the reason, but there was far more. Very similar to those who say their SO left because they caught them wearing panties once. What I saw from your story was the crossdressing was kept within your circle, no one went out and bought a billboard and no one confronted you. I don't see that as half full. I see that as a group of friends who really didn't care "as long as you were happy". But is there more to that story?

People outgrow people. Interests change. I haven't heard from my high school best friend in 35 years. He got married, the wife made him choose her or me. He chose her. If, today, he contacted me he would still be my friend even though that hurt me. I didn't write him off. I have lost friends (or lost track especially) over the years. That happens and it seems this group for you had gone off in a direction (or you did) that wasn't shared. It just seems to me that you wanted to hurt them back because you felt you had been hurt. I would not stay friends with someone who hacked my emails either, but you seemed in your post to be angry with EVERYONE in that circle because they didn't come and tell you they knew. The glass being half empty is partially because you spilled some.

Maybe it's an age thing but when you get o point in your life where you feel someone who had been your friend does somethhing that doesn't change the world, you accept the apology, tell them you were hurt and move on


none of you were my real friends anyway, the actions of you and some of my other friends just put it in stone for me. is pretty broad. They didn't do anything to make your life miserable, they just kept your secret in their circle. Seems like there were some real friends in there :idontknow:

[Gwyneth]

thats was the last straw in a long line of actions, more examples would be going 8 months without a phone call pre this situation after i broke up with my girlfreind....ignoring phone calls and texts for months....it goes on but hey....continue to look at it as half empty....

You are free! Be you! Fill that glass and let it overflow!!

[Amy Fakley]

Wow, remind me not to anger you if I was your friend. You not only burned the bridge you made the river deeper and faster. He apologized, no one died. But looks like what you said is true, you were never his friend anyway.

Hey now, the guy hacked her email, read all her private stuff then told everyone he knew ... and she had to find out through someone else. He only apologized after he was busted. If it was me, his apology would not have been accepted either.

[ellbee]

+1, Amy

That was my exact thought when reading that.

[DaniT]

You are an amazing person and this is an amazing story. I've kind of been down in the dumps today but this story has picked me back up again.

Dani

[paulaprimo]

hey goomba, long time...
the nerve of some people. they need to mind their own biz! but they don't...
good for you that you were finally at a point in your life where you wanted to be.
accepting and being happy with yourself and that this had no adverse effect on you.
it must be a great feeling to not have to hide and finally be free to be the great
and happy person that you want to be. i am very happy for you and hope to always
be considered a friend. maybe out of sight, but never out of my thoughts!! :)

[Ellie Summer]

Wow for so many reasons. First, why on earth did he hack your email in the first place??? I'm so so happy to hear that you're able to walk away feeling pride in who you are rather than embarrassment.

[tifftg]

I followed you in a variety of settings. I have been inspired and learned much. Thanks so much for sharing yourself so openly and your learning in your blogs and on Facebook.

[Dana44]

Thanks for sharing that Adriana. Yeah I was outed by my ex-wife and oh well my old friends do not call either. I have followed your threads and you were inspirational to us. Take care and know that we all like you here.

[Heidi Stevens]

Sounds like one of those horror stories that people make up to keep you scared. I think you handled every thing great and you came out on top and became yourself along the way. In a situation like this, you do find out who your true friends are. Though I wish the few that were true friends that found out would have told you earlier. Carry on!

[Kiersten]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad it all worked out for you.

[carhill2mn]

Thank you for sharing your story and for using paragraphs so that it was easy for me to read. The 'friend" who hacked your email is certainly no friend, good riddance!

[Kate Simmons]

You did what you had to do Adriana. I'm proud of you for boldly being yourself my friend. :thumbsup::)

[josie_S]

That was the best/coolest thing I've read in a long time. Thanks Adriana! What courage!

[Adriana Moretti]

Wow for so many reasons. First, why on earth did he hack your email in the first place??? I'm so so happy to hear that you're able to walk away feeling pride in who you are rather than embarrassment.

This is the part I just cant comprehend. Why hack my email. Only thing I could think of is this guy (who has ignored me for years ) diddnt have the guts to just simply pick up the phone and say hello, it was already about 2 years since he went out of his way to pick up a phone, maybe he felt guilty, or just wanted to make sure I was ok, or was curious what I was up to. Boy he sure found out LOL...it is what it is....and in the end does it really matter anymore ? But still hack an email ? SMH

[IleneD]

God Bless you and your story, Adriana.
While I'm CD and not seeking a full time transgender life, I identify with what you thought, did and felt.

The best part is the part I'm experiencing now, just months after outing myself with the SO. The best part is NO SHAME. I love that. No need to feel any shame. Yes, it's wise to be discreet, and not do stupid things to flaunt a dual gender identity or CD; but discreet is not shame.

The great part of your story, Adrianna, and one we can all learn from is the courage to by You; and the courage to shed the criticism. My Coming-Out proceeds a step at a time, and I want to reach that stage when it doesn't matter who knows, and all those that DO love me will know.
THANKS FOR SHARING.

[reb.femme]

Hi Adrianna,

I wish I could get some friends to fall out with. Seems you have an embarrassment of riches in that regard.

However, it is insane that an alleged friend checks out your email, reads and then disseminates said information to all that would listen. A real life stab in the back, if ever there was :straightface:. You might have been a bit harsh about the entire old circle of friends, but life is like that and you are happy with your decision and I'm happy for you too.

If my wife's phone beeps after she has gone to bed, I don't even check to see who it is from. If it is family, they will buzz me if she hasn't replied within a short time. Plus, who she converses with and what she puts up on social media is not for me to know, unless she wants me to. So, I can definitely feel your pain on that betrayal. If your OLD friend needs to check out some real email crap, I'll give him my email address. It's filled with stock standard drivel, so will likely keep him occupied for many a year. :)

I've checked a few bits out from your web over time and it has some good features.

Becky

[Tracii G]

Wow that was some read and I feel for you being in that situation.
I'm waiting for the out hammer to fall on me with a few friends that I haven't talked to in a few years.
I have reached out thru out last year but no replies so I guess they must know but are too scared to call or email back.
Its all part of life I guess.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Adriana,
8UVNT4wvIGY
Who the does something like that? Hacking into a "friends" e-mail.
That is some real BS!
But as you said, now the pressure is off, and you don't have to worry
about being caught off guard.
Enjoy your new friends, and remember the good times you had with the old.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[mykell]

hey adrianna,
sounds like they had a clue about you if they went and hacked your e-mails, i had rumor and supposition follow my footsteps after high school and it always seams to catch up, so you said your piece to this individual and it is what it is, if others reach out with kind intentions would you take them up on them, maybe now that its all out in the open they wont feel weird getting in touch.

im happy that you have the new friends and feel you had nothing to lose but in a way you have,


so everyone has known for years now ? "Yup"....and nobody cares, as long as you are happy.

was this person a dick for how they handled it and for prying into your privacy, damn right, "BUT" nobody cared , as long as you are happy.


decided to reach out to one of my old gal pals, she was one girl I always felt bad about leaving out of my new life, she was the exception to the majority of my friends, at least SHE reached out via text to say happy birthday, or wish me a happy holiday, and I knew when I was ready to come "out" , she was the first person I was going to tell.

you admittedly left them out of your life and were going to reconnect when you were ready to come out, guess what your out, your a party girl, you got your act together....see if any want to hang with you, whats the worst thing that can happen they find out your TG, oh, wait, what....its done, in a BS way and by your best friend telling them they were kinda in a different closet, they felt weird knowing why you were so distant ?

thanks for sharing this story with us, it is a reminder of how what we share about ourselves on the internet can cause us unintended consequences of our candid disclosures of ourselves.

so was this was a total invasion of privacy, dame straight it was, you have new friends, but you have old friends, you chose to distance yourself from them until you were ready to come out to them....well your out to them now.....would be a shame if you could not reignite a friendship or two with those who were really good friends who felt it was too awkward to deal with until the still less than truthful disclosure came from the horses mouth, whats the worst thing that can happen if you give it a go.....did you reach out to them, wish them happy birthdays and happy holidays ? throw a party and see who shows, then the truth will be told, and if you were to ever forgive your once best friend you would truly be the better person for doing so.... but none could fault you if you could not....

[natalie_cheryl]

wow I cant even believe the level of betrayal in this story, I'm so happy you got away from those people an have a new supporting group.

[GretchenJ]

Hi Adriana,

Havent talked images, I wish it was a reply to a post that was somewhat more comforting than this. I am truly sorry for what happened to you, and your personal breach of privacy.

But from reading ding your story, I believe that you have some acquaintances from your past, that I think you can still consider friends, your gal aqaintence knew the truth, but did no ill will .

However, since you have decided to embrace Adriana , look at all the new friends you have made, I can tell you from the the handful,of times that we actually talked ( yes face to face ), I can tell you that you are well admired, well respected, and funny as hell , I can tell you that I made a new friend !

[ReineD]

I'm sorry you're on the outs with your old friends.


I'm curious, though ... do you think your ex-friend is in the habit of hacking into his friends' mailboxes or did he target you specifically. And if you think he did, do you have an opinion as to why he would want to do this?

[Brandy Mathews]

Adriana,
You are a beautiful girl. And I know the feeling. Years ago, people hacked into my computer, and I am pretty sure who it was, would pay anyone to prove it too. Sorry babe, know the feeling. Once you are outted, you hear the snickering, the people talking under their breath because they don't have the guts to say it to your face, that is the way that today"s society is these days. These lazy ass people think that they are are better then everyone else with their fake friends on their social media sites. And everybody knows that is so plastic and fake!!!! Don't you people? lol Keep believing people. Sorry, facebook and twitter make this girl want to heave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

You are an awesome lady, thank you very much for your comments and everything that you do.
Bree :)

[Jacqueline1965]

That gross invasion of privacy was totally unacceptable and then to go and tell everyone about it. I am a very forgiving person but this unforgivable. You did the right thing.

[Brandy Mathews]

ReineD,
I have always loved your comments. People are very hateful these days. And I think that it is social media that has caused it. I LOVE DRESSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always will. And I thank you for being there to help us. But I was outted too, and my sisters husband did it. And his brother, works for ITT, I really believe, has hacked into my computer, just can't prove it, and that stinks! Hate people like that. I am pretty sure t hat it was them, just can't prove it. But you know what ReineD? If they want to hack into my computer they don't have much of a life. Just my opinion.
I'll shut up. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR OPINIONS! We all appreciate it
Just wanted to let you know. Wish there were more GG's like you.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[rachel_rachel]

I had a very similar situation a few years ago..
I was forced with no other option than to walk away from my local cricket club after being outed by photos I shared in a secrect group on Facebook.

[AnnieMac]

Hi Adriana!! I have always considered you a bit of a gal-pal of mine on this forum, and a bit of mentor, as you have given me advice from time to time. I enjoyed reading your story, although I feel sad about any personal pain you might have experienced. Quite honestly you were probably really out the day you started your blog, internet being what it is, and those types of "friends" being what they are. I was curious if now your entire family knows and what that is like, being primarily a closet dressser myself. You join some pretty awesome and high company, having had you emails hacked as well, just don't start wearing pants suits now. I don't think you will. The look doesn't suit you. I really do hope I get to meet you someday dressed my self at some CD event somewhere, once I get enough gumption and courage to do it. I want to experience ar least a small amount of the freedom you experience, with like minded people. Keep the faith sister!

[TrishaTX]

I am not sure why you didn't call the police that is illegal and more importantly immoral. It was none of his business and he should have butted out. I would have turned him in

[Adriana Moretti]

yea, I would have liked it to come "out' with my old friends on my terms, not theirs. There IS some more good news in this story, I left out cause I felt it was ALREADY too long of a story.

Remember the first girl I reached out to who I told was trans ? The one who already knew ? Well, we have been messaging each other for about a year before I was outed, I would tell her we needed to link up I have some very important news ( I was planning on coming out to her ). We just were unable to make our schedules link. So when I found out I was outed I just told her on the phone rather than in person , yes she knew, and told me she was waiting for me to approach her on it because she already knew I was going to come forward with it.

But thats not the best part, we met up, and she met Adriana . This was interesting because it was a whole new world for her. She was impressed that we could go out together and nobody even batted an eye, how nobody cared, or for the most part noticed. She had a million and 1 questions, and was impressed with all the knowledge I had on the subject. She also commented" you used to be so miserable, now I can see you are beaming with happiness".


So at the end of the day...the one person from my past I actually wanted to keep and felt bad about leaving behind is now part of my NEW group of friends,


I am not sure why you didn't call the police that is illegal and more importantly immoral. It was none of his business and he should have butted out. I would have turned him in

not to be a drama queen, but I thought about this too, THIS is the only thing that really upset me, what really makes me mad is the fact I couldnt control the situation. It is one thing to find me online, or in social media ( its all out there waiting for you to find )...its another to sneak into my email and violate my privacy.


I'm sorry you're on the outs with your old friends.


I'm curious, though ... do you think your ex-friend is in the habit of hacking into his friends' mailboxes or did he target you specifically. And if you think he did, do you have an opinion as to why he would want to do this?

This is a good question, and I'm still wondering why. My only guess is I know him pretty well, and my guess is after going a few years without remotely reaching out to me, and ignoring any effort I had made to reach out, after time, it dawned on him I was gone, and instead of confronting the situation, just picking up the phone and saying hi, he felt the better choice was to snoop into my email to see if he could figure out what I was up to, this is a pattern of behavior I can see now, because he also avoided confronting ME on the transgender issue too, maybe he was just nosey, and wanted to find out what I was up to without actually having to reach out. These are some of the thoughts that go through my head. I really dont know why.

[CONSUELO]

Despite any "hurt" your friends may have felt after you ceased communicating, to hack into your mail and then tell everyone what they saw there was totally unacceptable.

[Georgette_USA]

Adriana
Sad to hear of this forced outing.

You did not reveal how this person hacked into your eMails. Anyone hacking ones eMails and/or computer is a serious breach of personal security. Were these eMails on your computer or were they web eMails. I would think that others here may want to know how this was done. So they can protect themselves.

I realize you may not want to draw more attention to yourself, but I would look into reporting this person.

[VivienneH]

No one should be 'outed' on any aspect of their personality or behaviour if they do not wish to be.

You've had a terrible experience. I hope things get better for you.

Best wishes.

[Mollyanne]

You have reacted correctly and chose wisely. Real friend(s) would NEVER have done what they did to you, a real friend would have supported you. Hacked your e-mail, that's called a crime. You have moved on, moved forward and are better for it. Best of Luck and Best Wishes for a Happy Life.

Mollyanne

[Taylor186]

A bitter and sweet story that also suggests, as a corollary, that you should create extremely strong passwords on your gal accounts.

[ReineD]

Who the does something like that? Hacking into a "friends" e-mail.
That is some real BS!

See below.


because he also avoided confronting ME on the transgender issue too, maybe he was just nosey, and wanted to find out what I was up to without actually having to reach out. These are some of the thoughts that go through my head. I really dont know why.

Well, I've spied on people in my life and I can tell you why I did it.

I went through my ex's things when I suspected him of having an affair. I did find evidence and I did confront him. I had decided on a course of action and I followed through. At one point I thought my then 12-year-old was smoking pot. I installed a keylogger on my computer (that he was using to chat to friends) and I caught him out. I then dealt with it. Someone who is dear to me suspected their alcoholic friend had relapsed, and looked for evidence of hidden alcohol and empties. When my SO and I were early into dating, sometimes she'd go out dressed without being open about it, and I did look in the parking lot of the local gay bar to see if her car was there. It was. I didn't ask her directly if she had been there because I was afraid of dealing with the answer. At the time, I thought that going to a gay bar without telling a GG partner, meant wanting to hide an attraction to men. I was afraid to deal with what I thought was the truth. I didn't want to lose my SO, but I wanted to know the truth ... if this makes sense. Relationships are complicated and it can take time before deciding on the best way to deal with situations.

No matter how easy it is to be principled in online forums when discussing the topic of values abstractedly, I think that if everyone was honest, they would say they had, at one point or another, violated someone's privacy and looked at things they shouldn't have looked at. It's rather a matter of degree. I do think that most people tend to spy on people they care about and not people they are not invested in. Often, they spy because they feel they cannot get to the truth. My ex would not have admitted to the affair and my 12-year-old would not have admitted to smoking pot, but I needed to know. My SO would not have lied about being at the gay bar, but I didn't know how to handle this information at the time, had it been on the table. I needed to understand why my SO wasn't telling me he was going there, before attempting to talk to him about it.

I don't know the nature of your relationship with your best friend, but is there a possibility he cared deeply about you and wanted to know why you had pulled away? Would you have been ready then to discuss it with him, or were you still exploring. Or, would he have known that you were ready to talk about it? I ask this question because maybe he was under the impression you were hiding this, if you pulled away from everyone in order to explore your feminine self.

I agree with you though, it would have been much better if your friend had discussed his findings with you directly rather than asking another friend for advice. He lacked courage, in that respect, as I did with not immediately asking my SO if she had gone to the gay bar. I'm also not condoning having hacked your email, although I can understand if he was looking for your blog to find out why you had pulled away.

[Katey888]

Hey Ades... :bighug: that is quite something to do to someone... more than a degree of mischief about that, but I won't moralise about your ex-acquaintance's behaviour... oh no, not me... ;)

What I will say is how much I do and have admired your courage, your honesty towards yourself and your real friends and how you have been such a great example to folk here and to myself in particular, through your posts here and your blog... You have been a sparkly sequin amongst a lot of drab and you deserve better from past friends... but you reveal a truism about the non-understanding of the muggles and how some of us could potentially suffer because of that.

You're a star, babe... :cheer: and I'm more than happy to hear you've come out of it OK and positive... :D

And when the flip are you getting transatlantic..???? Hmmmmm..???? (Alright - I know you could ask the same of me.. :tongueout)

Katey x

[AllieSF]

Reine, you have made some excellent and valid points when dealing with someone who has a direct vested interested in the other person, direct and vested as in direct family member, lover or partner. That does not include a good friend. However, this, so far, appears not to be that case. If any of my best friends hacked into my email, I would call the police, because in reality we hardly ever truly know everything about our best friends. People change over time and may not share their personal lives as they used to, thus leaving us in the dark about certain aspects and maybe about their dark side. That should never happen and is illegal and, I think, some type of crime. These types of actions can not be condoned and brushed off as, "my friend was only concerned for me". Now, if someone wants to take legal action or not, that is their personal decision, and in general, I would never have an issue with that, as in this specific case. What is done is done, but hacking into her emails is real bad, in my opinion.

[ReineD]

That does not include a good friend.

Actually it can, at least among women, re the friend who looked for empties when she suspected her friend had relapsed, that I mentioned above. She needed to know in order to decide on a course of action. Good friends are there when their friends are potentially in trouble. Maybe you're not as close to your friends, Allie, as these women are. It turned out her suspicions were correct, and she was able to help her friend through.

Anyway, people you love just don't drop out of your life for no reason.

So, maybe Adriana might have taken her best friend aside earlier on, and confided in him. Then he would have known. I'm still not excusing the email hacking, but I can certainly understand the concern. Also, we all assume this is a platonic friend, but maybe they did have a romantic relationship? Adriana, are you male or female attracted, or bi?

[AllieSF]

Sorry Reine, nobody has that right to hack into my private life if they are not family and without do cause. Now, if I only had a close friend and no close family, close in mental and emotional sense, hey would to me be family. It may work for some, but for most it is a very illegal improper invasion of personal privacy. Sex or gender does not make it an acceptable exception. It may not bother you, but most people I know would be highly upset over it, both male and female. The again, everyone has their own view as to what is right or wrong, and I respect your view, even if I disagree with it.

The way the OP described this invasion, that friend was not "that" close, so to me it is definitely improper.

PS: Especially close friends, which is the exception rather than the rule (what do they say, we may have one or two truly close friends in our lives), may try to intervene in our lives. Again, what the OP sad, it was not one of those special close friends.

[Jodi]

Hacked into your e-mail? And you call that person a friend?

Jodi

[Rhonda Jean]

I'll second Georgette's response. I thought it was really hard to hack into somebody's email. This makes it sound like this guy just did it on a whim! How easy is it? And how can we keep it from happening?

[ReineD]

Hey everyone,

I did say in all my posts that I do not condone the email hacking, please read. But, I do understand why Adriana's best friend wanted to figure out why Adriana had dropped out of sight.

To Rhonda, I also wondered how this could be done. I always assumed that servers like gmail are very secure. So I looked it up (just google it). It requires already knowing the person's email and cell phone number. The hacker logs into the account using the user's email and clicks on forgot password, which sends a code to the user's cell phone. Then the hacker sends a fake text to the user saying there was unusual activity detected in the account and to please text the code to stop the unauthorized activity. The hacker then uses the code to get into the account.

It all sounds hugely convoluted to me, and it would require the user falling for it. Don't know if this is how Adriana's friend did this, or maybe her best friend knew Adriana well enough to have guessed her password?

My router was accessed by someone living within range last month, so they could use my wifi. I've no idea how they got my password, other than maybe having password cracking software, but I've no idea how this would work and how effective they are if a person has a secure password (more than eight characters, small & large caps, numbers, and special characters). There must be billions of different combinations of characters and it would have to be a powerful program indeed, to run through all possible combinations. Just like the movie "The Imitation Game", about Turing's (played by Sherlock's Benedict Cumberbatch) cryptography breaking machine during WWII, to break the Germans' Enigma code generating machine.

Anyway, if someone were to invest in FBI-strenght password cracking software, you'd think they'd have to be pros at this, and would target thousands of other people too, but more to collect data that would enable identity theft than wondering how a person spends their time?