Want vs. Need

[Tina Davis]

In periods of time like the one I am in right now, unable to dress for months, I find it interesting that I am still in the forums, reading most threads but not responding as often. To me, this reflects my approach to our mutual ”hobby” - want, not need.

I WANT to put on female clothes but I do not NEED to do so. I WANT to feel the silky smoothness of my shaved legs in hose and the weight of my forms in a bra strapped to my hairless chest. I WANT to see a full head of long blonde hair, earrings dangling and finished makeup when I look in the mirror. I WANT to hear my heels on the hard floor or stairs as I walk around my house. I WANT to be free to put on a dress and high heels and go out in public without feeling scared or guilty.

But I do not NEED any of these things. I am sad that I cannot find the time to dress, but I am not a person who is any different when I am dressed in drab or as Tina. I love my wife and daughter and do not want to hurt them. I NEED to be the husband and father they know and love.

I will continue on this forum to be supportive of all, as I know you will be supportive of me. I WANT you to know that this site has been a wonderful place to be a part of over the last year. Seeing everyone's pictures and reading their stories makes me WANT to dress more. But I know what I NEED, which is simple understanding, and the members here have that in abundance.

Thanks for letting me unburden a little.
Tina

[Debra Russell]

Tina, yes I know exactly what it is like - the "want and need" of dressing, and how we cope - this is a good place to come............................Debra

[Stephanie47]

I am in a similar situation. My wife had surgery in April which meant she was off for the rest of the school year. Summer is also an off time for wearing women's clothing as she is customarily home. Well, just before the school year began this fall, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was recommended she not be around children to reduce the changes of infection from reduced white blood cell count. She intends to be off at least until next spring. So, an entire year without wearing women's clothing except for the Vanity Fair panties I sleep in. It's a bummer, but, given the reason it's no big deal. I continue to interact on this site. I peruse the offerings for women's wear. I have bought lingerie, slips and panties.

[Teresa]

Tina,
To me it's an inner need I have to satisfy, .

[NancySue]

For me, it's always been both. I always dress when the "need" feeling are there. Usually :needs are first and always lead to "want". Many times, even though I don't feel the "need", I still want to dress. In the "want" times, my dressing may be minimal like "underneath". Like today, I mowed the lawn with panties and my favorite black underwire bra, and a touch of makeup and perfume. I didn't really have a "feeling", I just wanted to....and did. Best of both worlds. You have my total support.

[VivienneH]

For me it's definitely a need. It has waxed and waned from age 6 to 30 something, but it's a definite need which never goes away, even although I do try to deny myself.

[Jaylyn]

It has always been said sometimes we want more than we need. I can sometimes under dress and it satisfies a need for a while but for some reason it usually leads to my want of more dressing. Your right in that I find I'm checking this forum almost daily as I feel I need and want to read about others experiences, techniques, and enjoy the pictures. It's also nice to know others enjoy the dressing. I quess just as misery loves company, also we dressers need each other.

[carisa]

I also feel that I need to balance the need and the want. I have a great family and a supportive SO (she knows I dress). While I would pretty much be dressed most of time if I could, I feel that I owe it to my family to respect their wishes and give them the space and attention they need from me. We have worked out a way for me to get my dress time in so we are all happy.

And being part of this forum really is great when you are in a "dry spell" for a reason :)

[Teresa]

Tina,
Sorry I do have some wants, now I'm out and about I have gaps in my wardrobe !
I want a warm coat, and I hate to say it but some sensible flats and warm boots. I'm not a great lover of cardigans but women know their practical value so who are we to argue, I was looking through some shops this morning, I think I've found a coat, that's one less want !

[Alice Torn]

I am a loner with almost no friends anywhere now. Only my cats. even at the AA group i have been going to , the people avoid me, because i tell all there, except my dressing. My whole family is oddball loners, and my older si9ster who never had a boyfriend or husband seems to want to cling and hang with me, which bothers me a lot. it is like emotional incest. I cannot be my sisters boyfriend!! I feel i need to dress to be balanced. Never had a chance to have a mate. Alice is may mate now.

[Dana44]

I always wonder when i was younger why I needed to Crossdress. However, since I am older and found some answers about my self, I accept that I am TG and it is a need over a want. It seems to be a lifestyle and I have always pushed the gender issue from when I was a kid.